Chance clung to the bar as if it were the only piece of dry land in a stormy ocean. The thudding sound of the techno music was only adding to the stress-triggered pounding of his head. He had danced twice with Jacob but had turned down several offers from other guys.
"Come on... you have to loosen up," Jacob insisted as he tried to hand him a cosmopolitan.
"I don't drink," Chance insisted.
"Good for you. It's a bad habit," Jacob said encouragingly. It did not stop him from drinking the cosmo himself though. "You need to enjoy yourself."
"And I think you need to hand me the car keys."
"Sure... I will give them to you... if you hand over that shirt you're wearing."
"My shirt?"
"Yeah... for some reason flannel has never really caught on here." Jacob said as he eyed the other men dressed in skintight clothing.
"No!' Chance insisted.
"Then I guess I'll dive off without you," Jacob said as he began to dance away with the keys in his hand.
"You can't!" Chance said as he followed Jacob onto the dance floor
"Sure I can. You can always charm some guy here to drive you home."
"Jacob!" Chance yelled as the dancers began to separate the two of them.
It did not take long for Chance to lose Jacob in the crowd. Not only did other men block his view but also the sight of so much bare male flesh was definitely distracting.
"Hey new guy!" A bare-chested dark haired hunk said as he intercepted Chance.
"Hi," Chance said as he tried to look past him to find Jacob.
"Want to dance?"
"No... I'm looking for someone."
"Looks like you found someone to me," The man grinned as he ran a hand down Chance's chest.
"I'm not interested," Chance insisted as he tired to return to his island at the bar, giving up on finding Jacob.
"Oh come on new guy. Don't be like that," The dark haired stranger insisted as he grabbed Chance's arm... pulling him back.
Seeing that the guy was not going to take no for an answer, Chance decided if he could get a ride back home from him.
"Alright... one dance... but you have to agree to take me home afterwards."
"Sure thing new guy," The stranger agreed as he began to move his body to the music.
"Why do you keep on calling me "new guy"?" Chance asked as he moved stiffly to the beat.
"Cause that is what you are. Everyone can see you are either a virgin or a closet case."
"I'm that obvious?"
"Yes... just look at what you are wearing...baggy shirt and pants. Men come here to be noticed. You're dressed like a pair of white drapes... boring."
"I'm new to this," Chance apologized as he began to relax more.
"As I said..."new guy." Come on, take off your shirt."
"What... no."
"Come on... I know there is a great body under it. I would not be dancing with you otherwise. Take it off. Show the rest of the world what you have."
Chance hesitated for a little bit but eventually he unbuttoned all but the last three.
"Darn and you were doing so well." The stranger said disappointed. But I must say you have a great chest," The man grinned as he reached under Chance's shirt as squeezed one of his pecs.
"Hey!" Chance shouted in protest but was soon meet by an open mouth kiss.
"Come on, just go with it," The man insisted as he finished unbuttoning Chance's shirt.
Both of them had stopped dancing as the stranger pulled Chance's shirt off him, letting it fall to the floor. He then kisses and licked his way down Chance's neck before sucking on one of his large nipples. He gave Chance's package a good squeeze, checking out its engorged size before running his tongue back up his body. "I think this dance is over... ready to go home?"
"What... yes," Chance agreed as he followed the man out of the club, leaving his shirt on the ground.
Chance remained deep in his thoughts as he rode in the passenger seat of the mustang convertible. He didn't even tell the guy his address, letting him drive down the highway. It felt exciting that anther man was so interested in him even if it was only for his body. It was a major boost to his ego. Every now and then the stranger would turn and face him, giving his a wink of the eye or a squeeze of the leg. It was hard for Chance not to stare and the visible hardon the man carried under the tight jeans he wore. When the car stopped, Chance was half surprised that it was not his house but an apartment complex.
"Here we are!" The man said with a wide grin.
"Where are we?" Chance asked as he got out of the car.
"Home... or at least my home... that's where you asked me to take you."
"I meant my home," Chance was about to say but already the guy was climbing the stairs to the second floor.
"Hurry up... the night's not getting any younger," The man's voice faded away.
Seeing he had no other choice, Chance made his way up the stairs and entered the open door. Already the stranger was peeling off his pants to reveal his bare ass.
"You're not wearing any underwear," Chance said surprised.
"Hehehehe... I haven't wore any in three years," The man laughed.
"I just realized... I don't even know your name," Chance said embarrassed that he had gone with this man without knowing that basic information.
"Whoa! We just met and you already want to know my name," He laughed but stopped when he saw the look on Chance's face. "Just joking... my name is Scott."
"I'm Chance," Chance replied as he reached out his hand.
"Well I'm glad to have met you." Scott replied with another infections grin as he shook Chance's hand. "Now that is out of the way... lets get rid of this excess baggage." Scott continued as he used his free hand to tug at Chance's pants.
"Hey wait a minute."
"Oh come on... don't be a prick tease. If that is the way you're going to be just leave now," Scott said as he fell down on the couch disappointed.
"No... sorry... I just wasn't expecting this."
"What were you expecting? That I would take you home for tea and crumpets?"
"Well you said it yourself... I'm a new guy."
"Yeah... I did. How about you just join me in bed and snuggle. You can keep on you underwear or boxers or whatever chastity belt you are wearing under your pants. I just don't want to be alone tonight."
The almost pleading sound coming from Scott hit a cord with Chance. "Alright," He finally agreed.
Scott's face immediately lit up as he jumped off the couch and made his way into another room. Chance followed and saw it was a bedroom with a full sized bed, two end tables, and a long dresser. The only thing unusual about the room was that it was decorated with picture frames all turned so that only their backsides were showing. Scott, who was on the left side of the bed, patted the spot next to him.
As Chance began to unbutton his jeans, Scott stopped him. "Wait, let me guess what you have under there."
"Ok..." Chance agreed.
"My first guess would be that you are wearing boxers but with a body like yours I don't know why in the world you would so I would have to say boxer briefs, concealing but still shows off your muscles."
"You're right... boxer briefs," Chance laughed as he pulled his pants down to reveal a gray colored pair.
"Man... with a package like yours I don't know why you don't go commando," Scott sighed as he eyed his basket.
"Have to leave something to the imagination," Chance explained as he joined Scott under the covers.
"You will learn soon that life is too short to take time for the imagination. Best to show all you got cause that is all that counts."
"I will remember that."
"Oh that reminds me..." Scott said as he opened one of the end table drawers. "Want a hit?"
"A hit?" Chance asked confused.
"Of ecstasy," Scott offered.
"No thanks... I don't do that sort of stuff and I don't think you should also. It can give you a heart attack."
"Well if you don't want to then I won't... it's not as fun doing it without a partner."
"It should not be fun at all."
"What are you now... my mother?"
"No, a doctor."
"What! You are telling me I have a doctor in my bed, a real one, not some chiropractor or eastern medicine guru?"
"Yes, a real one... internal medicine."
"Wow... I'm moving up in the world and here I thought you were some closeted gym instructor. Why couldn't I have been dating you when I came out to my mother? She would not have worried so much about me if she knew I was bedding a doctor."
"I guess regardless of your sexual orientation, dating a professional is always a good thing."
"Even more so for us gays... the more you are discriminated against, the more pressure you have to prove yourself."
"Yes... I'm finding out the same thing," Chance agreed. "That is why I still hold myself to not drinking or doing drugs. I used to be a drunk."
"Good for you man... wish I could, but as you already know being gay is stressful, not only do you have to worry about what everyone is thinking about you but there is AIDS and a whole bunch of other diseases out there. There is a reason why young gay men have the highest suicide rate. I might be using it as an excuse but sometimes you just have to escape from all the shit life hands you."
"That is what friends are for."
"Yeah... if you have them. Not saying I don't, but the ones I have I wouldn't trust to stand by me against a morning breeze if you get my meaning."
"Yeah I do..." Chance said deep in thought.
"Do you have a true friend?" Scott asked seeing the look on Chance's face.
"Yeah I do... I hope I do."
"You're lucky then... was he the blond I saw with you?"
"Jacob... yeah he is a friend but he is not the one I'm thinking about."
"Oh... I think I hear the L word coming," Scott mumbled.
"What?"
"Its all the same with you new guys... the first guy who treats you nice you fall in love with. Well let me tell you it rarely works out well. You just don't have the know how to make relationships work."
"That's why I was out at the club tonight."
"To what... learn how to fuck better cause that is what it will teach you."
"No... to learn what I want... to see if anything better is available."
"Well I'll tell you that a club is not the place to learn that stuff."
"I met you didn't I?"
"Yeah and do you want to know how long I have lasted in a relationship... three months. That's my record."
"Well it's better then me... all I have right now are mutual feelings."
"You mean the guy who you like also likes you?'
"Yes."
"And not because he wants to pop your cherry?"
"No... I did that with his boyfriend."
"What... this is getting confusing," Scott said as he raised himself out of bed.
"I made a mistake. I was asked which person I would like to teach me about being gay and I picked his boyfriend but I really like Darren instead."
"So the guy you have a crush on is named Darren," Scott grinned at Chance's slip.
"Please forget I said that."
"Ok... not like I have enough names in my head. I will be lucky if I remember yours. So you like another man's boyfriend and WHY do you think you stand a chance with him."
"Cause he told me he had feelings for him and everyone tells me that Darren doesn't really love his boyfriend anyway. It's more of a relationship of convenience."
"And yours is of love." Scott replied in a sappy voice.
"Yes... or I want it to be."
"Well let me say good luck living a dream cause when you wake up you will have to deal with a nightmare."
"Are we speaking of experience?" Chance asked
"Of course I am... I'm not the new guy remember."
"I was a freshman in college," Scott began to explain. "The floor of my dorm was run by a junior. He saw quickly that I was a "new guy", just like you are now. He took me under his wing so to speak and I fell in love with the guy. It wasn't until the next semester that I learned the truth. I guess you can call him a cherry picker. He gets off popping guy's cherries. After he was done popping mine he really wasn't interested in me."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be, it was all part of my education. But I guess it was monkey see monkey do. It was not long before I became a cherry picker as well. I guess I started down that road because I wanted to regain what first love felt like through the eyes of another but it never worked out. Either I got bored or he wised up."
"Is that why you picked me... cause I looked like a new guy?"
"Yes." Scott admitted. "Do you hate me?"
"No."
"You should," Scott said sadly as he lowered himself back into the bed and snuggled up to him. "I'm a leech."
As Chance lay in bed in Scott's arms he felt the loneliness he had experienced before meeting Darren returned. Here in bed with him was the symbol of what he feared being gay would mean... drugs... empty relationships... and loneliness. It was hard to hate a man who was suffering like Scott was. Chance hoped that in his education there would be brighter subjects.
The spa had been such a success that even the straight hotels were sending guests over. They kept on pressing Will to get rid of his men only rule but he wouldn't budge. A spa was supposed to be relaxing and Will felt that would be hard to do with both sexes roaming the halls. In the end a compromise was reached. The hotels agreed to help pay for a separate spa next door, just for women. That way couples would not have to go to two different parts of the island. All Will had to do was to agree to manage it as part of his own spa and give them a share of the profits.
Business was so good that it looked like Will would soon be manager of the hotel next door to his. Unlike his own, which was made up of bungalows, the neighboring hotel was a good twelve stories tall. The land management company that owned it fired the previous managers due to poor performance. Will planned to keep most of the hotel open to heterosexual couples but as part of the deal the top three floors and roof restaurant would become part of his gay resort which had been having to turn away customers due to demand. The smaller of the two pools was also to be surrounded by a privacy fence for use of the gay clientele. Will planned on giving Ryan management of it.
The only thing Will missed was still Darren. None of the men he dated could predict his needs or finish his sentences like Darren could. Of course Will never stayed with them long enough for them to know a fraction of what Darren knew. Now that his life was stable, the need to share it with Darren was growing. He would upset himself coming to he apartments thinking that Darren would be there cooking dinner for him. When a new chief had tried to add lasagna to the menu, Will had almost fired him on the spot. Instead though he just banned all Italian food in general from his restaurants least the smell remind him of his one true love.
Twice he had reserved the hotel plane for a flight to Miami and twice he had not gotten on board. He thought about writing again but just predicted that the letters would just be intercepted like the first one was.
His loneliness for the past month had gotten worse though with Jason and Lane flying back to Florida for chemotherapy. Lane was giving it one last chance now that he had a reason to live with that reason being wanting to be with his friends.
Then the news arrived from his lawyer. His mother had passed away. Will gave up on the excuses he had made on why he could not go back to the states and took the plane to Miami before flying to Kansas City. During the flight he bounced between fear and hope that Darren would also be there.
It was not the best time for him to leave but Darren felt he had to be there to mourn Mrs. Fist's death especially since her only child was also gone. Leaving John and Kyle with Philip, Darren flew into Kansas City with Chance.
Chance had gone out dating a few times and while it was educational he still found the only person whom he felt happy with was Darren. Both knew that only trouble could result with them flying together but both were beyond caring. Even Philip had noticed how the two behaved around each other and he could see that he never really had Darren's love. Before the trip the two of them had a heart to heart. Philip admitted he had shot Will and Darren confessed that he had originally gone out with him because judge Kamp had blackmailed him into it. They both admitted they cared a lot for each other but Philip could no longer live with his guilt. Darren agreed to let him out of the relationship if he agreed to stay with them as he did not think Kyle or John would like to lose each other. Philip was more the happy to agree to that, for one thing he still cherished about his relationship with Darren was that they were parents together.
Going on the trip with Darren served another purpose for Chance besides being there for support, as being away from the house would let them explore their feelings for each other away from everyone else.
After making a stop at Mrs. Fist house, the two went to the hotel to rest. Chance could see the stress on Darren's face and wanted to do something about it. "What's wrong?" He asked as he joined Darren on one of the two beds.
"I knew this day would come... I just always pictured it that it would be Will and me having to do this," Darren said as he wrapped his arms around Chance.
"Well I'm here for you... Would you like to pray?"
"Yes... that would be nice," Darren agreed. With their foreheads against each other, Chance prayed over him. He ended it with an amen followed by a kiss.
"I'm sure that is not what you learned in Sunday school," Darren grinned.
"No... I learned that from you. I love you Darren," Chance said slowly as a tear ran down his face.
"And I love you..." Darren agreed as he kissed the tear.
After that a long silence predominated the room as the two men kissed each other again and again along the check bone, eyelids, ears and throat, on the chin and inside each other's mouths. Hands explored the hard muscles under their clothes as slowly each button, zipper and tie came undone.
When the pants came off Chance sported his black jock strap, the same one he had worn the night he had gotten wasted. This time though it was not a magazine cover he was trying to make love to but the real thing.
Darren pulled Chance on top of him as he continued to kiss his body, running a finger down the crack of Chance's ass, while the other hand held the back of his neck.
Both men were hard and the fabric of their jocks were damp with the precum oozing out of them. Chance humped against Darren's thigh, moaning as he went.
"I'm going to shoot," Chance grunted as he pressed harder against Darren's body.
"Let's slow down then," Darren said as he rolled on top of him, stopping his gyrations.
"I don't want to stop... I've stopped myself enough times," Chance sighed as Darren held him.
"But now we are finally doing it. We can take our time," Darren said.
"I want to cum over you. I want to lick it off your body. I want to feed it into your mouth."
"You will. And I will do the same to you," Darren agreed but continued to hold Chance still.
Darren held him like that until he felt Chance soften against him. He then moved down, hooked his thumb around the band of Chance's jock and pulled them off. He then did the same to himself. He was about to make his way back up his lover's body when Chance jumped forward, pushing Darren on to his back.
"No more slow stuff!" Chance said hungrily.
"Ok." Darren relented as the warmth of Chance's mouth around his cock soon distracted him. He felt his tongue run up and down the sensitive underside. Darren ran his finger though Chance's dark brown hair.
Together they almost looked like brothers if not twins. They both had the same dark tans, nearly the same height. Both wore their brown hair short, giving cleat view of their sky blue eye. Chance was a little more bulked up and Darren had a little hair on his chest but lying on top of each other, the differences were not as big.
While Chance continued to go down on him, Darren reached over to the table and picked up the condom between his fingers. He brought it over and tapped it against Chance's shoulder.
Chance look up and saw the condom in Darren's hand and took it in his own. "How do you want me?" Chance asked nervously. One of the things Philip and he had not gotten to was fucking.
"Inside me would be good," Darren replied as he stroked Chance's cheek.
A look of relief fell over Chance's face. "Thanks ... I guess there are some things I'm not ready for."
"It's ok."
"I mean I'm a man... well you are one too... but..." Chance struggled to explain
"You have been through a lot... It's going to take awhile for you to find yourself," Darren smiled as he raised his legs up onto Chance's shoulders
"You found me." Chance said as he torn open the package and rolled the condom on.
"Yes... and you know what I found... I found myself again."
Nothing more was said Chance lubed himself up and pushed his way into Darren, letting the tight muscle clamp around his dick. Darren was so much better then what Chance remembered of sex back when he was married. It might have been that he was in love this time but he felt more a part of the person. When he finally exploded it was as if all the stress of sexual confusion and self-hatred shot out with his cum. It was finally over. Chance now knew who he was.... Darren's lover.
Well Folks good news... Just got news that one of my stories will be publlished on an e-zine keepitcoming.net Will give you all more details when I have them. Thanks again for all those who have emailed me. You're support means a lot.
JMH
trandar2002@yahoo.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/adultwritingworkshop/