This story is completely fictional. Any resemblance to any real person (s) is purely coincidental. The story contains consensual sexual behavior between adult men. It depicts unprotected sex, which I do not endorse for anyone, even partnered couples. Safe sex practices are always in order. If you are underage or object to the subject matter, please leave now. I URGE YOU TO DONATE TO NIFTY TO KEEP THIS SITE UP AND RUNNING.
When I got home, Mother said Gordy had called a couple of times and asked if I would please call him. I hesitated, then went to my room to call. When he answered, I asked him if he was ok and was anything wrong. "He said he wanted to be sure I was alright. I said I was. "I miss you, Greg." Being my stoic self and still feeling the burn of being dumped the other day, I did not respond that I was missing him, too.
"Is there anything else on your mind, Gordy, is your Mother ok?" He said she was.
"There is something I wanted to tell you, I have been promoted to regional manager, I will be covering 4 states." I congratulated him on the promotion, "How is this going to work with your mother, is she going back to Richland Woods?" "Yes, she is and I am moving back to St. Louis, will live in Mom's house."
I told him I was very happy for him. "With me moving back here, do you think we can work something out?" I couldn't think of an answer right away. He asked again. "Gordy, I don't know." "I do have great affection for?no, that is not right, I love you, without a doubt." "But the reality, as you so eloquently put it the other day is, we live in different worlds." "I am so wrapped up in my work and my family, it would not be fair to you, nor to me." "And, throw in this new development, you traveling a lot, no, I don't think it would work.' "I m sorry, really I am."
"I really fucked up, didn't I?" he asked. "No, what you said was the truth." "It is all about me, my needs and you are correct, I can't change." "I am who I am, have been this way for a long time, and as much as I want to be different, I can't, not right now." "Gordy, I will repeat what I have said over and over, I do love you, more than I have ever loved anyone and I hate myself for being this way." "You deserve so much more."
I could hear his deep breathing and the choking in his voice, "So, this is it?" "Well, Greg, I wish you all the luck in the world." "I hope you find what you are looking for, I am just sorry it wasn't me." Before I could respond, he disconnected. I dropped the phone and bawled my eyes out. I knew it was the right thing to do for him, maybe now he could find someone to love him the way he so richly deserved. Oh, God, this hurts, my heart is absolutely broken. After a few minutes, I got in the shower. I still had Patrick's semen in me.
After the shower, I went to Mother, told her what was said. She just shook her head and looked away. I think she was on the verge of tears, but she did not cry. I went up to David's room to tell him. We sat on his bed, holding each other as I spoke. "Daddy, I am so sorry, I thought this would work, are you sure?" I told him I was sure. "And, David, I am taking you off the grounding." "I think I should reward you for the loving care you have given me this past week." "I don't think I could make it if I did not have you there in my corner."
"Daddy, you have no idea how much I love you." he said. "Probably half as much as I love you, son." "You and Anne are so precious to me, I am a blessed man." "Daddy, so what happens now and don't tell me life returns to like it was before." "You should have a life away from work and this family." I told him I would try, but no promises. He smacked my shoulder, "Not acceptable!" I laughed.
I got up to leave his room, then a thought came to me, "David, no more sex in this house, ok?" "I prefer you abstain, but I am a realist, just be careful, keep it covered." He blushed and said ok. I went to my room, called Anne's number. I wanted her to hear it from me. She was surprised, but completely supportive. I asked about school and what was going on in her life. "How are you and Hunter getting along?" She said he was so busy with school and work, they hardly had time to see each other. "But we are going out with a group of friends tomorrow."
After the usual fatherly warnings about proper behavior, etc. I said goodbye. I lay in the bed, again deep in thought. "Ok, Greg, what are you going to do this weekend?" I knew I had a soccer game to go to, but other than that, I had no plans. Then it came to me, call Ben and go play racquetball. Maybe we could also workout together, have lunch and maybe solidify our friendship. I really needed a friend. I was sure he thought I would shy away after his revelation.
I called Directory Assistance for his home phone number and called. He answered, breathlessly. I asked if I was interrupting something. He laughed, "Yeah, kinda." I apologized and said I would talk to him later. He said, "No, talk now, I am pretty much done, what's up?" I asked about working out, racquetball and lunch." "Yes, to all three, but dinner, not lunch." he said. I asked what he had in mind for dinner.
"Do you like Indian Food?" I said I didn't know, "I don't think I have ever had it." "What is Indian food, buffalo steaks and the like?' He burst out into side-splitting laughter. "No, you idiot, Indian food, like from India." I said I was willing to try it. "You like spicy food?" I said I did. "Good, I will make reservations."
I apologized again for the interruption, to which he said, "No problem, he isn't very good at it, I am just about to put him out, anyway!" Too much information! Then I remembered, "Ben, my son has a soccer game tomorrow afternoon, can we workout in the morning then meet for dinner?" He said that was ok, but then asked, "Can I come to his game, I used to play soccer in HS?" I said why not. "See you in the morning around 9."
I lay there in the bed smiling. I did not have any expectations with Ben other than as a friend. I slipped out of my shorts, got into bed and was soon fast asleep. My dreams were not of Gordy, but of Patrick, on his stomach, with me plowing his ass. When he turned over, the face was Ben's. Wow!
The next morning, I rushed out, grabbed a bagel and juice, told Mother where I was going and that I would be home in time to take David to his game. Ben pulled up to the club about the same time I did. We greeted each other warmly. Ben said, "You have no idea how happy I was to get your call last night." "First, this guy was terrible, had a small dick, which is ok, but if you are that small, you better know how to use it." "Oh, shit...sorry, I need to be careful what I say to my straight friends." he laughed.
"Secondly and most importantly, I was afraid you would write me off as a friend after I outted myself to you the other night." I said don't be silly, "You are a friend and I really want to get to know you better, very selfish reasons, to have a hook in case I need a new job." We both laughed. We took lockers on the same row. I noticed Ben checking me out and I definitely was doing the same to him.
After a very good workout, we found the wait time for a court was long, so we decided against it. The one thing I always disliked about this club, was the communal showers. Of course, now that I noticed such things, the eye candy was terrific. And the candy next to me was hot! Ben is very well equipped, I am a bit bigger, but his is nice. I had to concentrate to keep from springing a boner.
After dressing, we decided to get a bite to eat, then meet at the soccer fields around 3p. Neither one of us are fast food junkies, so we had small sub sandwich and lemonade. Our conversation was interesting, so many things in common, including the one thing he was not aware of. I almost told him a couple times, but always stopped myself. I did not want this friendship to be complicated by sex.
"See you around 3p." I said. He replied, "It's a date." I drove home completely happy to have a new friend, someone I enjoyed being around, totally away from work and the trappings of sexual desires. That last thought was bogus, I did desire Ben, but it was best to keep it to myself for now.
The soccer game was fun and our team won. Andie and David came over, I introduced them to Ben. David gave me the look. I shook my head, no. He loved Ben's Porsche. "Daddy, you need to get one of these and give me your car." "In your dreams, young man, Anne will get this car if I decide to get a new one." I asked Ben what time were our reservations. He said he would pick me up at 7p.
In the car, just David and me, he asked, "New boyfriend, Daddy?" I said he was not, we were just friends, business associates. I went on to explain how I knew him. "Is he gay, Daddy?" "Son, I don't know, nor do I care, he is a nice, interesting guy." I lied. "We go to the same club and play racquet ball together." "He beats the crap out of me, but it is fun, I am getting better each time I play." "So, what are you and Andie planning for tonight?" quickly changing the subject.
He said they were going to hang out at her house, maybe swim, since they have a pool. "Just the two of you?" "Are her parents going to be home?" He said they were going to be home. "Relax, Daddy, I will be a good boy, I promise, and I will give you details when you get home." I said that was not necessary, "I don't need to know about my son's sex life!" He chuckled, "What Daddy, jealous your son is scoring and you are not?" I warned him that kind of remark may just make me reconsider his grounding.
After a wonderful hot shower, I set about the task of selecting the perfect outfit to wear, stylish, but not too over the top and not too conservative. I selected a blue button-down collar shirt, navy slacks, and cordovan loafers. I still looked stiff as a board. I needed my fashion consultant, so I called David to come into my room. He burst out laughing. "Daddy, blue on blue, really?" I said, "Ok, smartass, what should I wear?" "Lose the navy slacks, put on khakis, and those shoes, wear your tan topsiders, no socks, no belt and if you really want to be daring, no underwear." I said for him to cool it!
After I had dressed as he suggested, he came over to me, undid a couple buttons, exposing a little of my chest, rolled up my sleeves to mid forearm. "Perfect!" "I would add a comment, but you would ground me for what I would say." "What?" I asked, "Go ahead, say it." "Ok, but don't get mad, Daddy you look devilishly handsome and if you don't get lucky tonight?.." "Stop it, enough said, point taken." We both laughed.
I stood back, looked at my image in the full length mirror. I liked what I saw. I think I could fall in love with this man. I wasn't comfortable with the open chest, looked like I was advertising, so I buttoned one. David noticed and told me I was hopeless. He asked if I had any cologne, to which I said no. He ran up to his room, came back with his favorite. "I am going to spray into the air, you walk through it." I looked puzzled. "It gives you just a hint of fragrance, not overpowering."
At last I was ready. Mother whistled at me. "Wow! This must be someone special, I have never seen you look so sharp." "I guess you took that stick out of your ass!" "Mother!" "The things you say, you crack me up!" "God help me!" I cried out. I went to the kitchen to get a drink of water, my mouth was so dry, nerves I guess.
It wasn't long before Ben showed up. I could barely take my eyes off him long enough to introduce him to Mother. Mother was charming, but I have to admit, I was waiting for something off the wall to come out of her mouth. After a few exchanges, we left. As we got into his car, he said, "My God, Greg, I don't think I would have recognized you on the street, you dress down very nicely." "Thank you, I think." I said. Ben reassured me that was a compliment.
Since, Ben was the expert on Indian food, I let him order for us. I still to this day could not tell you what we had, but it was a variety of dishes, some spicy, some mild. I loved it. I learned so much about this man and what I learned, I liked, very much. He asked a ton of questions about me, my family, work, you name it. I answered truthful, but still was not ready to reveal my inner secret. He would not let me pay for the meal, said it was a thank you for being his friend.
"Ben, that is insulting, for you to think you have to ply me with good food and drink, to assure that I am your friend." "I genuinely like you, we have a lot in common, I enjoy your company, and I am delighted we are friends." "I don't have many friends outside of work and the kid's schools, this is a bonus for me, so I thank you."
"Ok, I apologize for that, I like you very much, too." "I wish?" he paused. "You wish what?" I asked. He said never mind, "Ever been to a gay bar?" I said I had not. "Well, then, fasten your seatbelt, I am taking you to one; I promise to protect you." I said I wasn't sure about that. "What, afraid you will see someone you know?" "If you do, they are there for the same reason I am going?to hook up."
I have to say, my first gay bar experience was memorable and nothing I could ever imagine. The shirtless dancing, the constant groping, not to mention the many offers for anything sexual you could imagine. I was hit on so many times, I couldn't keep count. Ben whispered, or should I say, shouted in my ear, "Man, you are steaming, I have never been hit on as much as you have." I was clearly uncomfortable, which he recognized. "Let's go, I can come back, later." he said.
In the car, I asked, "Why do you do this, Ben, what does this do for you, make you feel good, what?" He said he didn't know, probably . "That is bullshit!" "Yeah, why do you say that?" "You have no idea what it is like being a single gay man, in a homophobic society, wanting desperately to love someone, but afraid and I am afraid, Greg." I said, "Well, you are wrong, I do understand."
He asked me to explain that comment, "How can you possibly understand what it is like for a person like me?" "Don't tell me you understand, when clearly you have no idea." I said, "Ben, that is where you are wrong." He asked, "How am I wrong?" "Pull over, Ben." I shouted. "What, why?" he asked. "Pull over!" I demanded.
When we were safely parked, I looked directly in his eyes, "I wanted to be your friend, without complications, but i can see, that is not possible." "It is your turn to fasten your seatbelt for what I am about to say." "I am majorly attracted to you and not in a buddy, good friend kind of way." Ben had the most shocked, surprised look on his face. "Yes, damn it, I, am gay!" He did not say anything, put his car in gear, did a U turn and sped down the road.
"Where are you going, and for God's sake, slow down." Still nothing out of his mouth. I thought he was going to kill us with the speed, weaving in and out or traffic, man that Porsche could move. Soon, we were at his condo. "Come on." he said forcefully. "Ben, take me home!" "No, we need to talk and I need a drink, now come on." I followed. Crap! This is what I was afraid of, a friendship ruined by opening my big mouth.
Once inside, Ben made a couple drinks, handed one to me, "Now, explain yourself to me!" "How fucking long were you going to keep this from me?" "Do you have any idea what you have put me through?" "I have lusted after you for a long time, every time we played racquetball, worked out, showered together, just hearing your voice made me weak in the knees." "And now you tell me!" "What the fuck!"
I said I was sorry and explained my reasoning. "I wanted a friend, without all the drama, someone I could talk to and be there for and him to be there for me." He asked me why I told him tonight. "If you had not taken me to the gay bar, I probably would not have." "What the fuck has that got to do with anything, it's just a bar with a lot of hot guys." I told him when he made the comment about a random pick up and going back after he brought me home, "Well, it just came out."
"You were jealous, weren't you?" he sneered. I told him it wasn't jealousy, but concern about this life style. "You are too good for this, Ben, too good to be a player." "A player, you have no idea who I am, don't call me a fucking player." he said sharply. I could see this conversation was exactly what I wanted to avoid, but we were into it, so why not let it all out.
"Really, Ben, all these random hook ups, never committing to one person, not looking for anything but a quick suck and fuck." "Bam, bam, thank you ma'am? NEXT!" I was shouting at him. He was quiet, deep in thought. "I guess I feel I am not good enough for that one man's man thing." "I surely fucked that up with Becca, didn't I?" I said that was different. "I admit what you did was wrong, but to punish yourself for it, that is wrong, too."
He asked if I ever cheated on my ex. I told him I had not, that until recently, I had pretty much been celibate, "Work, family, that is about it." He asked when I realized I was gay. I said it was a long story, but proceeded to tell him how it all came about, leaving out the names and the fact it involved a coworker. Then I told him about Gordy.
"You are in love with him, aren't you?" I said I was, but explained that the relationship was impossible. "Nothing is impossible, Greg, nothing." I started to cry. He came over, put his arms around me. "I am your friend, Greg, let me give you some advise." I looked into his eyes and could see the sincerity in them. "Go to him, don't call him, just show up on his doorstep, fall into his arms, tell him you love him and make it work." "Lucky Bastard!"
"What about you?" I asked. "Hey, don't worry about me, I have a best friend that will be sure I am ok." I asked if this was a fucking friend. "I wish." "Really, how does he feel about that." He said, "You tell me." I said he wanted to be,"But he is afraid it would end up being a disaster and be the end of a good friendship." Ben said, "There is no way, my God, Greg, I want you so badly right now."
We kissed, then he took my hand, led me to his bedroom, "If you don't want this, Greg, say so." "I want this, Ben, I really do." We began to lose our clothes then lay back on his bed, our crotches rubbing together. I was absolutely on fire. Ben was kissing all over my body, taking my nips in his mouth, gently biting them. He slowly worked his way to my groin, kissing and licking my shaft and taking my balls in his mouth. "I am not going to last long, Ben, slow down, I don't want to cum yet."
He pulled off, came back up to my face and kissed me very deeply. I could taste my pre cum. "Fuck me, Ben, please." He spread my legs, lifted them up, then lowered his face to my ass and began to rim me. That was all it took, I began to unload all over my stomach and chest. He rubbed the huge deposit all over my chest, stomach and cock. Next came the tongue bath, licking every drop. When he took my cock in his mouth again, I was instantly hard.
He reached in the nightstand drawer, took out lube and a condom. I had my eyes closed and was surprised to feel him unrolling the condom on my now hard dick. Following the condom came the lube on my sheathed dick and in his ass. Neither one of us spoke as he straddled my torso and eased his body down. I slid right in, no resistance. He began riding me vigorously, his cock slapping my stomach. I reached up to stroke him, but he pushed my hand away.
The only sounds heard were our grunting and moaning in ecstasy. After a few minutes of this wild ride, Ben said he was going to cum. "Bring it to my mouth, I want to swallow your seed." He raised himself to his knees, his cock aimed at my open mouth and began to fire rockets into my mouth, on my face, and my neck. His cum tasted sweet, much sweeter than mine. He fell down on my chest, exhausted. I stroked hiss head and held him close.
I was not moving, just basking in the moment, thinking, "Wow!" "That was great." He asked me what I said, which surprised me, I did not realize I had vocalized my thoughts. "That was great, Ben, you are a fantastic lover." I detected something, I didn't know exactly what it was, so I asked, "Are you ok, is everything ok?" He raised up on his elbows looked me in the eyes, "What am I going to do now?" "You are in love with someone else, but I want you to love me."
I did not expect that. After a moment, I said, "Maybe I do, I don't know what I feel for sure." "See this is what I meant about complications." He pushed me to talk about my feelings. "Ben, not tonight, I have a lot to sort out and I have to do it alone." "It seems all I do is hurt people I care about and the one thing I promised myself, I wouldn't do that to you." "Damn it!" "I am so sorry." I got up from the bed, went to the bathroom washed up, then started getting dressed.
Ben was motionless on the bed. "Could you take me home, please." I asked. He did not speak, grabbed some shorts and a shirt, "Let's go!" In the car, I tried to talk, but he was not responsive. As we pulled into my drive, I again apologized. Turning to me he said, "You think I am fucked up, well sonny boy, you had better look around, you are the fucked up one." "When you decide what you want, call me, maybe I will still be around, maybe not."
His words stung! I am not used to being talked to that way and my first instinct is to go on the attack. I shrugged my shoulders and simply said, goodnight and got out of the car. He peeled rubber all the way up my street. I knew he was right, I am the fucked up one. I was glad no one was up when I came in. I went straight to my bedroom, took off all my clothing and got into the shower. I was suddenly overcome with emotions, sat on the floor of the shower and cried.
What a slut, I thought to myself. You use everyone to your own benefit and to hell with what everyone else wants and needs. I wished I had someone to talk to, but being the loner I am, there was no one. Of course, I could call Gordy, but was that fair to him? No, I couldn't do that. Patrick? Out of the question. I did not want to involve anyone from work, besides the only one who really knew my secret was Elliot. I got on my knees and prayed, "God help me, I need guidance, please show me the way out of this mess I have created. Help me be a better person, a better friend and to think of others before myself. And, thank you for my loving, supportive family, you truly blessed me with my two children. Watch over them and help them make good decisions about their lives." After 10 Hail Mary's, I got out of the shower, which by now was cold.
I went to the kitchen to get a drink of water, decided on milk instead. When I opened the refrigerator, I found my sign. Really, in the refrigerator, crazy I know, but there it was, a fruitcake from Trappist Monks. I wondered how long this had been in the refrigerator, since Christmas I supposed. It had not been opened. Even though I am not a big fan of fruitcake, I took it out, opened it and sliced a piece.
While I was eating, I read the label and found the abbey where it was made was right here in Missouri. I wondered it they would allow an outsider, a lay person to come there, maybe for quiet reflection and prayer. This was what I needed, to get away by myself, reflect on my life and maybe I would find the guidance I so badly needed. I decided to ask Fr, Jacob in the morning after Mass if he knew anything about this place.
As I was eating the cake, I thought, not bad, but not something I wanted very often. Dark, fruity and heavily laced with rum. I needed two glasses of milk to wash it down. Back to the bathroom, then with an empty bladder and brushed teeth, I lay across my bed, no thoughts, just a very peaceful feeling. A retreat would be good for me, a person who is not overly religious, but who has faith that I can find answers in solitude there at the abbey. I drifted off to sleep.
Another installment, and definitely not the direction I originally planned. I am sure there will be mixed feelings about it, which is ok. I welcome your comments. Be well and as always, Smile!
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