Westlife Romance - Part 47
Bryan stared into Nicky's tear-stained face, not knowing what to say. He cursed himself for his loss of words. He had so much to tell Nicky, but now at this crucial moment, he didn't know what to say.
Without saying another word, Nicky gently lifted Bryan from the ground. Just like that night in the alley, the older boy carried Bryan on his back, slowly walking back to Bryan's room.
Once in the room, Bryan sat on the bed in a daze. He still hadn't figured out what to say, so he just let Nicky tend to his ankle in silence. On several occasions, Nicky had to brush the tears from his face before continuing with his task.
Bryan wanted to pull Nicky close and hug him tight. They were both hurting so much, yet each of them didn't know how to tell the other about it. Finally, Nicky finished wrapping Bryan's ankle and he got up from the bed.
"So you're going to walk out on me again, Nix?" Bryan asked as he choked back his tears.
Nicky kept his back to Bryan, afraid to look into the younger boy's eyes. "I have to go, Bryan..." he finally said softly.
Bryan turned to look out the window, though his vision was blurred by the tears in his eyes. "So there's nothing here worth saying for, Nix? Nothing that can keep you here?"
Nicky finally turned to face Bryan. His heart ached as he saw how much hurt he was again inflicting on the younger lad. "I...You know that's not true, Bryan...I thought I already told you clearly in the tape..."
Bryan looked up at Nicky. "Yes...the tape...you didn't even bother to tell me in person. You couldn't even face up to your problems, Nicky. This isn't the Nicky that I know. The Nicky that I know is brave and loving, not a coward like you!!" Bryan lashed out bitterly. "You're not the Nicky that I've looked up to all these years. You...you just make me sick!!!"
Bryan's words struck Nicky with a vengeance. He fell on his knees and sobbed. He knew Bryan was right. Everything that he said was right. "Why are you so weak, Nicky?" he asked himself. He felt so helpless, so useless.
He no longer had control over anything.
Seeing Nicky's reaction caused a wave of guilt to wash over Bryan. He immediately regretted what he had said. He got off the bed and limped over to Nicky. Kneeling down, he pulled the older boy close and hugged him. He longed to take all the pain away. "I'm so sorry, Nicky. I...I didn't mean that, Nicky. Oh Nix, I love you. Why can't you let me love you?" Bryan pleaded.
Nicky melted into Bryan's embrace and sobbed. He couldn't take it anymore. He could no longer bear it alone. He needed someone. He needed Bryan. "I'm so sorry, Bryan...I never meant to hurt you," Nicky cried. "Please don't hate me...please..."
"Oh Nicky...I can never hate you," Bryan whispered as he caressed Nicky's cheeks. "Just don't shut me out, Nix...I love you...I love you more than anything in this world..."
"I'm so scared, Bryan...I just wanted to run away..." Nicky whispered amidst his tears. "But at the same time, I couldn't let you go...it's all such a big mess, Bryan...I've messed everything up again..."
Bryan was ecstatic that Nicky had feelings for him, yet he needed a way to convince Nicky to let him into his life. He pulled Nicky close again, hugging the older boy. It felt so good to have Nicky so close to him. He began to sing very softly to Nicky...
"A fragile heart, was broken before I don't think it could endure another pain But there's a voice from deep inside of you That's calling out to make you realize That this new bond gives inspiration To all who feel no love appeal no more So how can I break this wall around you That's aiding both our hearts to grow in pain.
So forget your past, and we can dream tomorrow, Save our hearts for care and loving too It's hard, I know, but oh one thing's for sure, Don't go and break this fragile heart."
Tears trickled down Bryan's cheeks as he held on to Nicky. Since that day at the airport, he had promised himself that he would never let Nicky go again. His voice trembling, he continued to stroke Nicky's soft blond hair.
"A hurting mind in need of emotion I don't think it could endure another pain But baby in you, I've found affection Affection I have never felt before.
So don't let your past destroy what comes tomorrow Don't go and break this fragile heart."
"Nix...please...please give me just one chance. I promise I'll love you the way you deserve to be loved," Bryan pleaded. "I love you so much, Nix..."
Nicky looked at Bryan in the eyes. Both boys had tears running down their cheeks. Nicky brought his hands to Bryan's face and lovingly brushed the tears away. He leaned in slowly and kissed Bryan on the lips. It was a short kiss, but it encompassed such a deep meaning. Bryan thought he was dreaming once again, but it was real. Taking Bryan's hands, Nicky kissed it tenderly. "I love you, Bryan...I love you..." he said softly. These were the words that Bryan had longed to hear for so long. Pulling Bryan close, Nicky kissed the younger boy again...
...to be continued....