[Author's note: a collection of my writings on cross-dressing and erotic humiliation are available on Amazon, under the title: "A Treatise on the Sissy." -- Baloardo Gratiano.]
What a Cunt
No sissy pleasure is entirely lacking in humiliation: Being shamed is the very heart of her enjoyment. Thus, of all the possible sexual situations, none is so proper to the sissy as servicing another with her mouth. Her proper place is on her knees: this is for her the ultimate orientation, it places her at the geographic center of the sissy cosmos.
But is the sissy more properly employed servicing a man or a woman? It is actually irrelevant which sex she serves, since an equal degree of feminine submission is attainable with either gender. Nonetheless, the mechanics and the psychological leverage are different, and it is worth our while to consider both in some detail.
All men love having their cocks sucked. There is no more perfect assertion of domination of a woman. Just to put a girl on her knees and bring the splendid ugliness of a penis and a hairy scrotum before her carefully made up face is to degrade her. The fact that most women dislike sucking cock adds to the excitement. She must be cajoled, persuaded, encouraged, pressured, until finally she opens her mouth and accepts your cock and her place, knowing that once she lets you put it in, she won't be able to stop you, and when you have had her mouth once, you will have it again and again.
Though servicing your cock may become a routine, it will never be routine, for it will always be humiliating for her, You will tell her that she should do it to show she loves you, but you both know she will do it because she has become your whore.
For physical enjoyment, a cunt is infinitely better designed to accommodate a penis. A blowjob is not primarily a physical but a cerebral pleasure. The most gratifying part of the entire act is the detached contemplation of the woman swallowing your sperm.
Only a subhuman brute would enjoy forcing a woman who didn't want to, to suck him off. Yet it would be a pathetically placid fellow who enjoyed being sucked off by a woman who ecstatically enjoyed it. The thrill of a blowjob is seeing the woman's ambivalence, her bringing herself to do it for you, her submission. The same might as well be said of ass-fucking. It is hardly pleasant for the woman, and, so far as the man's sensations go, vastly inferior to the cunt. The pleasure of the act, for the man, depends primarily on the woman's discomfort and humiliation. If she enjoys it at all, and some women do, her pleasure is masochistic
There is a simple, fundamental disparity in the male and female attitudes to sex that fully explains the psychology of the blowjob: she is doing it for him, while he is doing it to her. Both are deluded as to what is going on, and what they can expect as the outcome of the action. He is no likelier to love her more, than she is to subject herself further.
But what of the sissy, who, like an extremely masochistic woman, is eager for this treatment?
As usual, the sissy, under the impression that she is achieving a feminine condition, is simply disporting herself in an inverted reflection of male desire. She is unconsciously identifying herself more with the man who uses her than with the woman she aspires to be. Sissies are quite forthcoming on this point: they will be the first to tell you it is all about his pleasure. And in fact the sissy is rarely interested in cumming during or even soon after the blowjob. A personal orgasm would be superfluous in the face of the profound vicarious pleasure of serving the man..
This explains in part the sissy obsession mirrored sex and photos. Though the sissy believes (not without some truth) that the point is to enjoy the sight of her own femininity achieved through giving blow-job -- the most abject of female activities, it is equally (though unconsciously) true that she exults in seeing what the man sees, and visually completing her identification with the one who uses her.
Having treated the psychological underpinnings of the phenomenon, it will be well to note some of the key physical experiences of being used as a mouth-whore by a man. To kneel in a skirt and stockings in front of a man's bulging crotch, to unfasten his pants and pull down his zipper with painted fingernails, makes the sissy acutely conscious of every stitch of female clothing she wears. Unbuttoning a blouse over her full bra, or tossing back her long hair for the unimpeded use of her mouth, she feels and sees what a real girl would. Her kiss on the head of the angry penis leaves the red imprint of her lips such as only a woman's would -- yet it came from her own lips. Looking up at the man from her knees she sees him smiling down with superior pleasure, and maintains eye contact so he can observe the shame and longing in her eyes as she lets him enter her mouth. His pants and underwear are at his ankles, and she strokes his hairy thighs, so unlike her own carefully shaved ones. He is as male as she is not, and his groin, framed by the lowered clothing and shirt-tails, looks particularly obscene: more so than it would were he fully nude. He hasn't disrobed for the pleasures of the bed, he has simply exposed himself for the rapid and cynical use of her compliant mouth.
She is on her knees in all her feminine finery, and he has simply opened his pants, as casually as he would to use a public urinal. And most sissies are little more than that: they make themselves available at bars, through Craigslist, or in XXX video stores, thrilled to be the hole for any hard cock. If a man wants to literally urinate in the sissy's mouth, the sissy will comply and swallow what she is given. If not today, eventually. It is what she aspires to.
As the man's pleasure increases, there approaches the moment when he will put his hands on the back of her head and begin to fuck her mouth in earnest. This is what the sissy really wanted: sucking is merely foreplay, the real ecstasy comes from being penetrated. Thus a sissy will prefer a large, wide cock, not only because of the obvious contrast with the shaved little clit hidden in her panties, but because she loves having her mouth stretched like a cunt by a broad, demanding penis.
Some sissies, like gay men, love getting a mouthful of sperm, and being made to hold it on the tongue for a while, to taste it; to open wide to show it, before swallowing. This is of course classically degrading, like licking the penis clean of any last drips, or letting the man wipe his cock on her face. But sissiest of all is to deep throat the man, to have him cum with his cockhead all the way down her gullet. The sheer helplessness of being pulled down onto the cock, with her nose in his pubic hair and his balls on her chin, is of course poignant, but the ultimate is feeling the man spurt his semen deep in her throat, pulsing in that close canal. It is for the sissy the nighest approximation to what a cunt would feel, and indeed, to being a cunt.
It is perhaps proper to here give the sissy her due. Though the progress to this point, despite all her efforts at femininity, has been a turning inward and against herself of male desires, we reach a paradoxic point where the sissy achieves her goal of feminization, and indeed surpasses woman. The sissy becomes utterly a cunt, an accommodation for cock, with all her human qualities annulled. It might be objected that her identification with the male and his penis, the underlying logic of her erotic drama so far, here becomes complete, But no: this depended on seeing herself through his eyes. As her face is truly fucked, there is no longer a person or an awareness of self, only an ecstatic orifice. She has become utterly nothing, entirely a hole. In a word, a pussy. By the time the man cums deep in her throat she is nothing but a human vagina. She is not feminine, she is not a woman, but she is triumphantly, on a physical and archetypal level female. She is cunt incarnate. She participates in the being of the yoni itself, the snatch-faced deity, the hairy, dripping and unquestionable face of God.