I'm wearing this guilt like it's a new suit. Only I'm the only one who can see it, and I don't have to worry about whether it matches my shoes.
And every day, I look at my wife, and I kiss her, and she looks into my eyes, and the guilt surfaces, like maybe she can see it. One day I feel like she's going to stop, look closer, then her eyes will widen, and she'll see my secret and cry.
I have to push that thought away, but it's the reason why I haven't been back in months. Just couldn't handle it. Then, one morning I read the local rag and spurt out my coffee. Police had raided the toilets at a local shopping centre after complaints from the public.
Arrests had been made.
Holy fuck.
And that sealed my fate. There's no going back. Ever.
Six, maybe seven months after I'd sucked a dick in a public toilet for the first time, and as the local weather warmed up, my wife encouraged me to go jogging again. To be fair, she did so because she knew how much happier it made me afterwards, but also because the winter clothes discretely hid that extra kilo or three we put on.
Our local park is great. There's a segment for new parents, with screaming kids excited to be playing on their favourite playground equipment, while barbecues nearby allowed men to practice Master Chef, while the women whispered secrets to their friends behind a hidden palm.
And then there's the toilets, which are conveniently located off the carpark and not far from the barbecues.
I'm one of those men whose wife needs to make sure he's wee'd, or he'll end up holding his dick at a party and complaining that he needs to go. So, naturally, halfway through my run, I realised I needed to go.
When I raced inside, and apparently without warning, two men looked dodgy as fuck. One turned around and looked to be fumbling with his bits, while the other hunched over the urinal, after having spun around in a heartbeat. The urinal was fairly new, metallic, and so highly reflective. Which meant I got a good view of the urinal guy's dick as he pissed.
Except that he wasn't pissing at all. His dick was really hard and appeared still.
There were two cubicles facing the urinals, and one was occupied, so I went in the other.
Perhaps my previous public toilet experience had made me wiser to things that had been a secret to me all of my life because I scanned the cubicle as I entered it and immediately noticed a glory hole between the two cubicles.
I may not have had any action since the shopping centre toilet experience, but I sure as shit had been looking up `things' and I was aware of the popularity of glory holes.
I pissed, but I knew that I wasn't going to leave in a hurry, as my heart raced with excitement.
Holy fuck. Another glory hole.
I dropped my shorts and underpants, after a quick wipe, I sat on the toilet and had a little peek at my neighbour.
Whoever he was, he was wanking, of that I was sure.
But I heard sucking sounds. Like, when a dick head pops out of a mouth, and it makes that distinct `pop' sound. Ahead of me, my door had gaps on either side, so I craned my head and could just make out the two guys at the urinal.
The guy who'd been facing the urinal when I walked in, had apparently no idea that he could be seen from the cubicles. Apparently, nor did the guy who's dick he was sucking.
Holy fuck.
It made my fella rock hard.
The way this guy worked on that fella's dick was something else. A hand wanked, and gently played with his balls, and it sucked gently from the tip, before slowly swallowing the whole shaft.
I was fascinated, and moved closer to the crack so I could get a better view. He sucked so well. I took the guy to be about my age, fairly good looking, and with a scruffy beard, which I thought was so hot. It was so weird, because the guy he was sucking was quite burly, like perhaps a trucker, and also bearded, and gruff. The guy being sucked off was so primal, and so alpha looking that I wouldn't be surprised to discover he carried a club.
Here were two guys, both as masculine as you could get, sucking dick in a public toilet.
I was so goddamn turned on.
I'm not sure what I'd ever imagined. The little porn I'd been peeking at lately only ever featured guys who were born in a gym, naked of any hair, with eyebrows that were oddly compelling, but impossibly unnatural, and perfected moans that I'd come to believe were real.
But these two blew those stereotypes out of the park.
I wanted to rush out there and be a part of them, but I just couldn't, and so I stroked my dick and settled with voyeuristic wanking.
Except I didn't have to, as the impatient tap on my thigh soon let me know.
It's not that I'd forgotten my neighbour, but these two were so manly, and so fucking real, and normal blokes, so I was just too engrossed.
But I turned my dick towards him, so he could at least get a good look at it, while I kept my eye on the two at the urinal.
The guy in the cubicle put his hand through and grabbed my dick, as the burly guy suddenly squatted, and surprised his pal. When he kneeled, the other guy stood up and I wanted to whistle out loud.
He had a huge dick. I'm not much of a guesser, but I'd hazard it was around ten inches.
And when burly guy opened his mouth and put the head of his mate's dick in his mouth, the guy in the cubicle next to me pulled mine towards his mouth.
I was about to resist, but then the heat from his mouth stopped me. And when his tongue licked the tip of my dick, just as I watched burly guy do the same to his mate out there, I wasn't going anywhere. Burly guy wrapped his hands around the guy's waist and pulled him in, and swallowed that whole dick, just as my guy pushed his lips from the head of my dick right to the base, squeezing his mouth shut and creating a vacuum.
The effect was powerful.
That was the best head job I'd ever gotten in my life and it had not even been five seconds.
The guy standing up's eyes rolled into the back of his head as his dick slid nicely into burly guy's throat.
My guy's mouth was sensational, and I knew I wouldn't last long, even when I tried to look away and think about something else.
Apparently, burly guy was just as good, because the standing guy grabbed burly's head fiercely, and bucked into it, and then he moaned, and this guttural sound exploded out of his mouth, like a lion's roar, that filled the small toilet and maybe even shook it a little.
And my guy seemed to be incensed by the sound, because he gripped my dick tighter, and wasn't prepared to let it go, until I nutted.
Watching that scene, as a masculine guy's muscles bulged and held another masculine guy's head tightly in a firm grip, and skull-fucked it, while a guy performed the best oral sex on me I'd ever had, was too much.
How much trust are you placing on a guy to be gentle with your dick? Especially one that sounded like he could herd fierce animals through the command of his voice alone?
He clearly nutted, vocally and with fascinating movements. And the burly guy seemed to enjoy it, because he grunted, and a deep -- `grggrrggg' sound emanated from somewhere in his throat, as who knew how much jizz squirted down there, just as my own balls flashed a warning.
It was my turn.
I closed my eyes because anything that intense can almost feel like pain. And the guy sucking my dick, was hungry. I never heard him, but I could sure feel him and his tongue, as it licked around my dick, as it swallowed the entire shaft of my dick, and that hot juice burst out of me and emptied into his waiting throat.
I grunted because it was tremendous.
Like an expert, my cocksucker swallowed everything I had to give.
And just like that, I was spent. The desire was gone, the curiosity sated, and my itch temporarily scratched.
I pulled away, shook my fella a little, and zipped up and flushed the toilet.
When I walked out, the two guys were zipping up. The guy who'd just blown into burly guy stared at me and smiled.
It was a weird smile; a knowing smile, like we'd shared something.
Perhaps he'd seen me, I was too hasty with my need to depart to notice.
I fled the toilet, and continued my jog. As I rounded the bend, away from the toilet, something made me turn. With a quick turn of my head, I glanced back, and saw the guy shaking his hands dry as he exited the toilet. He was watching me, still smiling.
A very handsome guy, who was probably about to go home to his wife and hide a secret as big as the one I was desperate to hide.
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