What I See

Disclaimer

If you are under 18 or not of legal age in your country, please do not read on. If you couldn't accept themes of homosexuality and the like, please don't read on. This is a story concerning gay males having intimate relationships and is considered FOR ADULTS ONLY due to its sexual theme and contents. BUT if you really like this stuff, please don't tell others.

Everything in this story is purely FICTIONAL. Or in simpler terms, it's not true!!! Even if this story involves NSYNC, a real, successful American singing group, and a fictitious character, all that happens in here is fictional... again, it's not true. If there are instances that it is similar to what happened in the real world, it doesn't mean that it's really true. I don't know anything about their sexuality, as far as the I and the world know, they're straight as an arrow so I dunno if they're gay (but I do have my speculations) or not but I wrote this out of freedom of speech and my love for these guys and slash fiction. I don't own or know NSYNC personally. AGAIN, it's NOT TRUE!!! but don't we all hope that it's true... hehehehe...

First Words

Hi guys. This is my 3rd work here in the boyband section of the Nifty Archives. I dunno why I called it "What I See" but I just ran out of ideas for a title and thought of something simple. So the title, What I See was born giggle. I dunno if I can manage my 3 stories at the same time but Crossed Paths is in its "season break" and Reformation is still there. But I'll really try my best to update all my stories. Remember, I love feedbacks.

Mail me at my NEW Addie at yr_ry_@hotmail.com

What I See Chapter 13

I drove to my mom's house in a daze. It was a feeling of numbness in my heart. I don't know how to feel. I want to be happy for Josh because he's doing his job and he's gonna make countless of people very happy with the music that he makes. But I also feel so angry because I can't be with him. There's a feeling of helplessness there and I hate that feeling. And of course, there's sadness. I'm not gonna be with Josh for a long time and that's the thing that is crushing my heart. "I need you JC." I said blankly. Devoid of all emotions.

I parked my car in front of our house, the same house I lived in for the past 20+ years. I walked to the front door and it was already open. My mom was standing by the front door smiling at me. "Hi mom!" I greeted her with a forced smile. I gave her a tight hug.

"Finally I get to see my little baby!" She cooed. Don't you just hate being overly smothered? One of the reasons I left the house because of the over protectiveness of my mom, and sometimes my dad.

"Mom"! I whined.

"Kyle, it's been so long since I saw you. You're not eating right. Look at you; you're so thin already. I'll make sure you get fed now that you're home." Mom sorta chastised me. She dragged me to the dining room and sat me on my usual chair, the one beside her. The others filed into the dining room as well with grins plastered in their faces. They know that I hate it so much and they love that idea.

"Hi Dad! Dee. Paul. I wanna give y'all a hug but I think I can't get out of this chair." I told them with a chuckle. They just nodded. They all know my mom. My mom on the other hand seemed to be oblivious of everything because she's busy piling my plate with food. "Mom, I don't think I can finish this all." I told her truthfully.

"Nonsense! You're gonna finish this." My mom told me knowingly. Who can contest that?

"Mom, give Kyle a break." Dee told her as she fished some food for herself.

"I'm still the mother and I know what's good with my baby." She pinched my cheeks and I just faked a smile. This is gonna be a long lunch for me. "Then you're gonna tell me all about this Josh guy." She sat on her chair looking at me expecting to say something.

"Um, he just left." I said hesitantly.

"Where to? What's his job anyway? Are you sure this is a good guy? Or is this guy another set up of Dee and Paul?" She asked looking at my two siblings who just averted their gazes like they didn't hear anything.

"Um, he's part of this singing group called NSYNC and they're touring right now. And he wasn't set up by those two so he's good." I answered.

"Hey!" The two answered simultaneously and glared at me.

"I brought him earlier to their compound where a bus will bring them wherever they'll go. I didn't ask details about their tour coz I didn't wanna pry too much." I said. I started to eat the pile of food on my plate wishing that my stomach can bear this amount of food.

"And I heard that you and this Josh guy had a fight." My mom said. I looked at Dee and Paul who seemed to find interest in their plates. "Don't glare at them Kyle. I heard it and they didn't tell me anything." My mom defended the two. The two should shut their mouth especially when they're in the house. They know my mom's oversensitive hearing capabilities.

"Yeah, we did fight but we fixed it up already." I said trying not to divulge in the topic. It's still raw and too painful. "Let's stop talking about my life, I wanna hear some of yours especially that Paul seemed to have someone in mind right now." I grinned at Paul who was glaring at me.

"A certain someone?" My dad asked looking at Paul with confusion.

"You see, um, I met this guy Wade and his absolutely wonderful." Paul stammered as a blush crept to his cheeks.

"Wade is the choreographer of Josh's and his group." I informed at which my mom and dad affirmed with a nod.

"Is it serious?" My mom asked.

"Yeah it is." Paul answered.

"Then we're happy for you." My dad said. "Now, it's just Dee. Do you have someone in mind?" My dad teased.

"Me? Nope!" She answered. Paul and I looked at each other and snickered a little bit together. We were thinking the same.

"Why are you giggling?" Mom asked the two of us.

"Nothing." Paul answered. "So who's Joey?" Paul asked with a grin on his face. Dee shot him a glare but the two of us were having fun.

"Joey, huh?" Mom asked.

"Last time I saw them, they were kissing." I added that garnered a glare from Dee. I just gave him my cheesiest smile.

"He's just a friend. No biggie." Dee answered without looking at anyone.

"They're all growing up!" My mom noted and we know what's coming next. "They're all gonna leave us now Eric. Just the two of us. No more mom and dad for them." My mom was close to tears already and all we can do was groan and look guilty while we listen to our mom's words. We listened to our mom's banter for the entire lunch. Actually, it's a good thing coz my mind was averted away from my thoughts about Josh.

Once lunch was finished, we all helped in cleaning up our mess and settled in the den to talk some more. "How's work Kyle?" My dad asked me.

"Okay I guess. There's nothing much to tell coz there's really nothing exciting to talk about there. It's just me typing codes. Dee has the interesting job." I answered.

"I know." Dee giggled. "I'm thinking of expanding once more. Maybe another state. Orlando's becoming too little for me." Dee said.

"That's nice dear." My mom smiled at her sweetly. "How about you Paul? Decided when you'll work?" Paul just rolled his eyes. His unemployment was a big issue in the house. A reason why he's always in my house. Our parents, especially mom, have been nagging him since he graduated from college on when he is gonna start working.

"Can we change the topic?" Paul said. "Where are the guys heading?" Paul looked at me directing the question to me. I guess the 'guys' means NSYNC and of course, Wade.

"They're headed to Portland." I answered. I looked at my watch and it read 3:00pm. Three already? Time does fly fast when you have company. "I think I'm gonna head out now. I have work tomorrow and my dog will be hungry by now." I stood up from the couch I was sitting on that prompted the others to stand as well.

"So early?" My mom asked.

"I'm gonna be back soon, okay? I have work to finish and stuff to do at home." I answered walking to the direction of the front door. I opened the door but before I went out, I gave my mom and dad a hug and bided goodbye to them for the time being. Honestly, I dunno when I could return home coz I know that I'll be damn busy as hell when I return back to work.

I walked to my car and drove off leaving my childhood home to my present house, which are a few blocks away. I miss Josh. That's the recurring thought that entered my mind. I guess I'm hopelessly in love with the beautiful guy.

I parked my car in the garage and went in my house. Pookie who was barking a lot met me. I picked her up and placed her by my chest as I walked to the kitchen to feed the poor dog. "Sorry I forgot about you." I said to the dog as I filled his bowl with dog food. I placed her down on the floor and began eating on his bowl. "Aren't you a cute lil dog?" I chuckled.

I walked to my bedroom and laid down on my bed just staring on the plain white ceiling. "I should redecorate this house." I said to myself. It was just a plain house and my room wasn't that furnished as well. Maybe it's the lack of time with work. I need someone to talk to. I picked up my phone and dialed Ken's number.

"Hello!" Someone answered after a few rings.

"Hi Kenny!" I said on the phone.

"Kyle!" He exclaimed. "How are you there? Where's your beau?" He asked.

"I'm fine here and Josh is away on tour." I answered. "How are you?" I queried Ken.

"Me? I'm still the same old single person." He answered dramatically.

"I thought you were on a date a few days back?" I said confused.

"Kyle, it's just a date. It doesn't mean that if you date someone you'll be madly in love with each other and live happily ever after." Ken answered sarcastically.

"Fine." I said rolling my eyes.

"Let's just say that this guy was a major asshole that needs some kicking." Ken laughed. I giggled a little bit trying to picture Ken and this guy. Ken is just the type of guy who hates to be the underdog or being played at. The last time it happened, the guy ended in the hospital but I really didn't know what Ken did to the guy. "How's the family?" He asked me once he stopped laughing.

"I was just there and they're all fine. By the way, Paul has a boyfriend!" I told him. Well, I tell him everything. He's my best friend.

"Really? As in Paul?" Ken asked not believing me.

"Yeah! I even saw it with my own eyes." I told him. "And he's beau is a hottie too!" I exclaimed. Well, Wade is definitely a gorgeous guy and with an amazing personality, he's definitely a nice guy to be with. But I'm with my ultra-amazing Josh now.

"Is it one of them too?" He asked.

"It's their choreographer." I answered.

"You are shitting me? Wade Robson?" Ken shouted. "Oh my God! I can't believe this!"

"Calm down!" I said trying to stop his hyperventilating with the fact that my brother's boyfriend is Wade Robson.

"You are such a lucky bunch!" Ken giggled. "As much as I want to talk to you more, I'm going out later so I need to be pretty." Ken told me.

"You're going out in a date again?" I asked quizzically.

"It's just a date! And I'm single, so I think it's not a crime." Ken replied. "Anyway, I'll call you or you call me or whatever. I have to go! Bye!" Ken hung up the phone and I replaced the handset back.

I walked to my computer and turned it on so I can read my emails. I think they're a lot now coz I haven't checked it for ages. When I was logged on, I opened Outlook Express and downloaded the mail. 103? God, I'm gonna take forever in reading all of these. Once all the 103 emails were downloaded, I started to apply my message rules so I know which ones are important and which are deletable.

Some of the mails I received were from my friends that I made in the chatrooms and they were just saying 'hi'. Most of my mails came from the groups that I joined so they are really not that urgent. But there was this anonymous mail that I've got. It was from a sleepywriter. Who can this be? I clicked on his message.

From : sleepywriter@hotmail.com Subject : Hey there!

Hi there Kyle!

JC here. This is my personal email. I know we haven't exchanged our email addresses so I'm starting up. It's just one of the many ways that we can communicate with each other. I'm usually on line especially when we are just in the bus. So we can chat on line or something. And maybe we can have some digital get down some time. wink

How did I get this? Well, it took me a lot of time finding your site. I thought that you have one because computers and the web is your life so you must have a website there. Anyway, we're still in the plane when I'm writing this and we are about to land.

Catch you soon, love.

Always, Josh

I just can't erase the smile that was plastered on my face. I looked at my watch and it read 5:00pm. The guys must be preparing for their concert by now. I don't wanna disturb them; especially JC by calling so I guess the niftiest way would be sending an SMS. 'Hope that you have an amazing time in your first concert! Good luck! I love you.' That's what I typed and sent it to him. I decided to send the others text messages as well, even Justin.

I heard the distinct tone of my cell phone and it was an SMS message from JC. 'Thanks. I'll call you later! I love you too.' I didn't delete the message. After a few minutes, I heard my cell phone buzzing once more. It was the others saying their thanks for the message. Even Justin sent his thanks. It surprised me but I think it was a good step for the friendship that I was hoping to have with him.

I shut off my computer and decided to make myself busy by preparing dinner for myself. I want a home cook meal for the day, which is a change because usually on Sundays, I tend to buy take-outs. Why? I really don't know but it's how I've been living my life. "Maybe a change is nice." I told myself. I walked to the kitchen and opened my ref to find anything that I can use for dinner.

I saw a few slabs of steak. "Steak it is!" I declared. Pookie then decided to make her entrance. "Okay, you'll be having steak as well." I told her and she just wagged her tail and ran around me. I guess she's happy with the steak thing. I brought out the skillet from the cabinet to start things off. Just spice it up a little and a few minutes of marinating, voila!

I set the table for myself and sat facing piece of meat on my plate. Pookie was busy gnawing at the steak I gave her. It was extremely quiet that night. It just reminds me how alone I was in that moment. I hope that someone would knock at my door so I'll have some company while I eat. Or wishfully thinking that JC would be coming in by now but he's somewhere performing to thousands of pre-pubescent girls declaring their love to them. Me? Wallowing in my solitude with a piece of beef. What fun?!

I quickly devoured my dinner coz there wasn't any purpose in slowing down. The quicker I'm done, the quicker I can sleep and the quicker I can wake up to go to work tomorrow. I'll be with friends there. I cleaned up my mess and decided that a bath would soothe my tired body and uplift my low spirit, hopefully.

Well, the bath did sooth my sore body but not my mind. My mind just kept on wandering like it was not in my head but elsewhere. I looked at my watch, 10:00pm. I didn't think that it was late already. I went inside my bedroom and laid down. After a few minutes, the phone rang. My heart seemed to be beating a lot faster. I know that it was JC. I must be JC. I picked up the phone and answered it. "Josh?" I said hastily.

"Hi sweetie." JC cooed. It was so nice to finally hear Josh's voice again. It has been only a day but it seemed like months already. I really miss him.

"How's the concert?" I asked.

"It was really amazing. There were lots of fans there and they really enjoyed this one." JC said enthusiastically. My hunch is that they finished just now and he was still a little hyper from the adrenalin rush from the concert. I can sense it in his voice.

"That's great. I wish I could see you in concert some day." I told him.

"That would be something to expect. If you have a free time, just tell me and I'll fly you down so I get to see you too!" JC suggested. It was a tempting offer but my mind seemed to be back in its place. Isn't it imposing to JC?

"Josh, I don't wanna impose..." I started.

"Nonsense!" He quickly interjected. "You're not imposing but actually doing me a favor coz I really missed you so much and it's such a small price to pay to fly you here." Josh continued. I don't wanna talk about this right now but like I said, it was really tempting. Maybe I'll take his offer when it comes.

"I'll see when there's free time." I told him. "Are you back in the hotel now or are you in the bus?" I asked him.

"We have hotel tonight but we're traveling by road tomorrow." He answered. "You going back to work tomorrow?"

"I have to. Well, I'm kinda expecting it coz I really miss you like hell." I told him with a chuckle.

"I miss you too." He sighed.

"You better get some rest coz I know how much you need the sleep." I told him.

"I guess." He said stifling a yawn. He's definitely sleepy.

"You take care of yourself, okay? I love you." I said to him sincerely.

"I love you too babe. Sleep tight." He answered. I ended the call and there was already a smile plastered on my face. It was a great day. I have patched things up with JC so that's always a great thing. I got to see my family back home. I got to talk to my best friend and my boyfriend as well. Life is really good.

-------------------- End of Chapter

That's chapter 13. It's the dreaded number 13 so I hope there isn't any bad luck. Anyway, I'm trying to make everything laid down and not too dramatic like my other stories. I'll just have to place some normalcy and not the soap opera-ish type. So, the next one would be kinda cute, sometimes cheesy and corny, and sometimes sad and happy. You know, normal stuff.

It's so damn hot!!! I live in a little archipelago in Asia, Philippines and when I say hot, it's really hot. I think we have like 35C (95F) temperature here. Summer here is good, but this is just too much already. sigh

Thanks to ALL of you who have taken the time and MAILED me! I truly appreciate it very much. A big, big shout to my Danish pals, Chris and Danny, I hope you always be in love forever coz you compliment each other perfectly. You two are made for each other! :-)

PLEASE!!!! Send me feedbacks... I'm a feedback addict! I so love those feedbacks. Short, long, good or bad, or just whatever... drop me a line okay? I also have most of the IM programs out there and I'm usually on, hopefully you can catch me.

AIM : pseud0ry Yahoo! : yr_ry MSN : yr_ry_@hotmail.com ICQ : 156360427

Also, I'm usually in the boyband chatroom.

NEW Addie is: yr_ry_@hotmail.com

EMAIL me.

A big 'HI' to the people in the Nifty Boyband Chatroom and CRAZY!!! They are so nice, especially Wes, Dru, CJ, Duckie, Strat, Clive, Jayson... and the list goes on. Wanna say hi to my friend Byron who have helped me with his support and his friendship! Stay strong in your relationship! Finally, a big big 'thank you' to David who maintains the Nifty archives, without him, we won't be reading any of the best slash fics in the world!

Also, here are my suggestions of other cool stories in the archive that influenced me in my craft.

NSYNC Stories.

• Jamie's Romance (Justin)

• Love Thru Chat (JC/Justin, Lance)

• Josh and Just (JC/Justin)

• Lance in Shining Armour (Lance)

• My New Life (Lance)

• Justin's Dark Angel (Justin)

• My Surprise Romance (Lance)

• Life with Justin (Justin)

• JC's Hitchhiker (JC)

• Jimmy Needs Assistance (Lance)

• Lance, JC and an Astral Fan (Lance/JC)

• Lance's Search (Lance/JC)

• Like the Rain (Justin)

• Time Stood Still

• JC Dreams (JC)

• My Soulmate JC (JC)

• Sans Vous, Je Suis Rien (Justin)

• Chance Meeting (Justin)

• Needing You (Lance/Eminem)

Backstreet Stories.

• Because I Love You (Brian/Nick)

• Double Take (Brian/Nick)

• Bad Boy B-Rok (Brian)

• Heir to the Darkness (Brian/Nick)

• Kevin and Dustin (Kevin)

• French Kiss Me (Brian)

• Millennium Love (Brian)

• Forever (Kevin)

• Get Another Boyfriend (Kevin)

• Heir to the Darkness (Nick/Brian)

• Insecurities (Nick)

• On the Streets (Kevin)

• Brian and Tommy (Brian)

Crossover Stories.

• Brian and Justin (Brian/Justin)

• The One (Brian/Justin)

• Living (Almost all of NSYNC, BSB and 98') --> found in www.matthewtime.com