What I See

Disclaimer

If you are under 18 or not of legal age in your country, please do not read on. If you couldn't accept themes of homosexuality and the like, please don't read on. This is a story concerning gay males having intimate relationships and is considered FOR ADULTS ONLY due to its sexual theme and contents. BUT if you really like this stuff, please don't tell others.

Everything in this story is purely FICTIONAL. Or in simpler terms, it's not true!!! Even if this story involves NSYNC, a real, successful American singing group, and a fictitious character, all that happens in here is fictional... again, it's not true. If there are instances that it is similar to what happened in the real world, it doesn't mean that it's really true. I don't know anything about their sexuality, as far as the I and the world know, they're straight as an arrow so I dunno if they're gay (but I do have my speculations) or not but I wrote this out of freedom of speech and my love for these guys and slash fiction. I don't own or know NSYNC personally. AGAIN, it's NOT TRUE!!! but don't we all hope that it's true... hehehehe...

First Words

Hi guys. This is my 3rd work here in the boyband section of the Nifty Archives. I dunno why I called it "What I See" but I just ran out of ideas for a title and thought of something simple. So the title, What I See was born giggle. I dunno if I can manage my 3 stories at the same time but Crossed Paths is in its "season break" and Reformation is still there. But I'll really try my best to update all my stories. Remember, I love feedbacks.

Mail me at my NEW Addie at yr_ry_@hotmail.com

What I See Chapter 14

Have you ever felt being unease with yourself whatever you do? Well, that's what I'm feeling at the moment. I was still facing my computer in my little cubicle in the office I worked in but I can't seem to fish for something in my mind to do something productive. My mind just kept on returning to Josh's face. His angelic and beautiful face.

"You're drifting again!" Will smack me at the back. It took me by surprise and made me jump a little. When I looked at Will, he was laughing. "Aaaaaw, you're still thinking of your boyfriend?" He teased me making me blush a bit. "Nothing to hide, Kyle. It's perfectly normal."

"I just miss him, you know." I said softly as I slouched on my chair.

"Yeah, only 2 days since he left." He replied sarcastically. It's just 2 days? It seemed to be weeks already since JC rode the bus to God knows where. Two days and I'm acting like crazy and we're not gonna be seeing each other for another 2 months. I sighed with this realization. Life is gonna be really hard.

"Well, when you have a girlfriend and she's away from you, I'll surely remind you." I told him. He just made a mock scared look and cracked after a few seconds. Will is surely be teasing me for a while. "Let's just go back to work." I told him.

"If you can concentrate on your work." He said which is just so true. I looked at my watch and it read 9:00am. It was just 9:00am. It was like I was here in this office for hours already. Now, time is against me. Oh well, better make the best of what I have.

I was starting to sketch some ideas on my notepad when the phone rang. I picked up the phone and answered it. "Kyle Sanders."

"Hey." A voice replied -- a too familiar voice for me.

"Josh! How are you, sweetie?" I said. Will was looking at me strangely. Actually, I think I was acting too bubbly. Come to think of it, I was acting like a teenage girl with her boyfriend. Can you blame me? I love the guy.

"I just woke up, actually." He answered. I guess that was a given considering the time and the different time zone he must be in. By the way, where on earth was he this time?

"JC, where are you?" I asked.

"On our way to Oakland. We have an off day so I decided to give my little angel a call first thing when I wake up." He said giggling a little bit. I love it when he's being romantic.

"Aaaaaw!" I cooed and giggled afterwards. When the giggles died down, it was like a truck hit me. I dunno why but I felt a little sad at that moment. "I miss you." I told him.

I heard only a few heavy breaths after what I said. I closed my eyes trying to ease the pain and the longing that I was feeling -- it was damn hard. "I miss you too." JC's voice cracked. I dunno when I hear JC's voice crack and I know that he's gonna be crying next, I tend to tear up as well.

"Please don't cry. Please don't." I pleaded with JC as I clutched the handset. "You know that I can't stand you crying." I whispered. I could hear JC sniffling softly and it seemed that he was covering the mouthpiece coz it was so faint but I could still hear it. He was prolly trying to compose himself.

"Who's crying anyway?" JC's strong voice returned but I knew that he had shed a few tears -- and I know that he knows that too. But we just continue the facade that nothing happened; there was no crying whatsoever. "How's work?" He successfully changed the subject.

"Same old thing! I am not swamped with work which I anticipated but I'm having a hard time focusing because of one gorgeous blue-eyed guy." I tried to be in a playful mode trying to drown the sorrows of a long distance relationship.

"Aaaaaaw!" He cooed.

"Yeah, my mind has been filled with Justin lately." I teased.

"Hey!" He protested.

"I was just kidding! You know that you are the only gorgeous blue-eyed guy in life!" I declared to him and laughed afterwards seeing the silliness and cheesiness of what I said. Maybe, I'll be big as a lyricist of one of the boybands out there -- an alternative occupation, perhaps? "So anything new with you and the others?" I asked.

"New? Lemme see..." JC paused for a while. "Lance is still having his tests for his outer space thing. Um, Joey is trying to patch up the final touches in his movie with his friend and Chris is... Chris." He laughed at his remark with Chris. "Oh, I have a little gossip!" He said like a hyper child. I could imagine JC bouncing from where he was seated as the bus drove off.

"Ooh! C'mon, you know I live for gossips!" I said flamboyantly trying to be one with the mood.

"Justin and Britney finally broke up." He whispered to me like he was telling me a dirty secret -- well, it was a dirty secret as far as the world was concerned.

"Really?" I gasped and laughed. "Josh, that news has been circulating around the world since way way back!" I told him.

"I know but those are just silly rumors but now, this is for real! It's official and you know what, Justin did it over the phone." He told me. He sounds like one of our neighbors before who lives for gossips.

"What? That's awful!" I said before thinking. "Sorry about that!" I added realizing that I was bashing his friend there. Whatever happens, JC and Justin have already shared a friendship that survived with the test of time. I even wonder sometimes why the two didn't become together.

"It's okay! It was actually our fault coz we were pressuring him for some time to end the charade with Britney. But we never imagined that he's gonna be so heartless that he's gonna do it over the phone and didn't have the guts to tell her in person." JC explained to me. I guess he's also a little ticked off with what Justin did, but who wouldn't?

"Maybe it's his way of dealing with it." I tried to defend Justin -- I actually don't know why.

"Deal with what? It's not like he fell in love with him in the first place. He did confess that he's just using her for publicity and no emotional attachment whatsoever remember? And you know what, he seems worse this time. It's like I don't know Justin anymore. He's taking up groupies and he goes to strip clubs after the concerts and this is not the sweet and innocent Justin I know." JC poured out his anguish with the Justin issue. I wish I know what I can do but there's really nothing I can do.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I wish I can do anything." I tried to console JC. But I wondered, am I responsible to this new Justin? This new attitude surfaced when I sorta 'dumped' him after our date. Did it really make a big impact in Justin that he's gonna change his whole self to a self-destructing one?

"Kyle, you're not responsible about this." JC said to me like he read my mind. "I know that you must be thinking that you cause all of this shit and it's not. Justin is a normal person with a sound mind capable of making his own decisions and the consequences are his to face as well." JC's word seemed to be permeating to my mind but I just can't erase the guilt feeling about Justin.

"Kyle, Matt wants to talk to you." Will said to me. I nodded at him and waved my hands dismissing him.

"Jayce, I have to see my boss. I'll talk to you later, okay?" I told Josh.

"Sure. I love you." He said.

"I love you too." I answered and replaced the handset to its cradle. I stood up and exited my cubicle to go to Matt's office. I tried to push the thoughts that were clouding my mind at the moment. No guilt feeling with Justin. No lonely feeling with Josh. Focus on work.

When I was situated in front of Matt's door, I raised my hand to knock on the glass door that's covered by Venetian blinds. "Come in." I heard Matt say from the other side. I pushed the door open and walked to Matt.

"You wanted to talk to me?" I asked him. I sat on the chair in front of his table. He was signing a few pieces of paper and once he signed his final sheet, he arranged them to a neat stack and faced me.

"Yeah, I do." He answered me with a smile. "I wanna talk to you about this." He pushed a manila envelope to my direction. I picked up the envelope and opened it. There were pieces of paper inside of it. "It's a site project." He told me. I nodded and pulled out the content of the envelope. In bold letters from the first page, it read ZOMBA.

"Zomba?" I asked him and he answered with a nod.

"I've been trying to get Zomba for a few weeks now and they finally accepted my offer. It's gonna be a very big project; one of the biggest we ever have and I want you to head this project. I trust you very much Kyle and I know that you are one of the biggest talents out there so I know you can handle this." He explained to me. I just looked at the papers in front of me. It seems that Zomba is a big major record company that handles lots of artists -- and I mean LOTS.

"All of this just to me?" I asked him. It seemed impossible coz it was a huge number.

"Oh no! I talked with Mr. Reily, my contact in Zomba and we sorted out the stuff that you'll handle and for the others, I'll leave it to the other people here. The ones you'll handle will be the most important ones because they're the major artists of Zomba and I tell you, this would be a lot because you have to maintain not only a site for the States but for other regions Zomba is affiliated to." He said to me. "The last sheet of paper would be the artists you'll handle. They are only 4 acts but they have different sites across the globe so it would be around 30 sites all in all." He told me like it was the simplest task in the world.

"30?" I asked not believing it.

"That's why I wanted the work divided. They have lots of artists and only these 4 have sites across the globe. I know you can do this." He told me. I picked out the last sheet of paper that would state which acts I would work with. My eyes bulged when I read it.

Aaron Carter Backstreet Boys Britney Spears NSYNC

"You're kidding me?" I said to him.

"I'm serious. So, are you gonna take it or leave it?" He asked.

"Of course I'm taking it!" I said to him ecstatic that I'm gonna work with the biggest acts in the world. And NSYNC. And Josh!

"That's nice to hear but there are some things you have to know first." He told me. "You'll not be working in here with that job. You'll be having your office in the JIVE building, one of the subsidiary companies of Zomba because it's one of the nearest here in Florida. You can go there tomorrow so you'll know where it is and they also want a list of the equipment that you'll need. They said that you can ask for anything." He grinned at me when he said the last sentence. I can ask anything and I'm gonna be having it for free! "You'll be sort of a Zomba employee coz you'll be the one signing the contracts, not me so it's like a freelance thing for you but you are still carrying our company's name. They'll be giving you a salary and your salary here will be continued as well. Questions?" He filled me in with the details that I should know at the moment.

"Um, anything else?" I told him still trying to grasp what is happening at the moment. This is so big.

"Oh yeah, you might be spending some time with the artists, so traveling will be part of your job." He told me. Matt just made me day and it was like fate was behind me and supporting my relationship with Josh. It sounds so freaky with this dropping on my lap but I'm not complaining one bit. "I think that's all." He scratched his head prolly trying to think of anything to tell me.

"Great! Thanks Matt. I won't let you down." I stood up and walked out still clutching the envelope that carries my ticket out of this office and into the Jive building, one step closer to JC. I walked back to my cubicle with a silly grin still plastered on my face.

"I guess Matt told you some good news." Will commented. I just nodded at him and immediately dialed JC's number. I was just excited that I have to tell him about this!

It rang a few times until someone answered. "Chasez phone!" Someone said but I know for a fact that it wasn't Josh.

"Um, can I talk to JC?" I asked politely.

"Can I know who's on the line?" The person asked me once more.

"It's Kyle." I replied. His voice is so familiar but I can't just place who the owner of the voice was.

"Oh." He uttered. "Um, he's not here right now. I'll just tell him you called him." That's weird. JC told me that he was on the bus going to California and that's just 30 minutes ago, more or less. Then, it hit me. This someone that I was talking with was Justin. Justin Timberlake.

"Oh, I see. Thanks Justin. I'll just phone him later." I said to him trying to hide my little anger because I know that JC is available but he doesn't want to give him the phone. "How are you, Justin?" I asked him trying to reach out to Justin once more. I dunno why I still try to be friends with him even if he shut me off a couple of times already.

"I'm just fine." He answered in his usual snotty way.

"I heard that you broke your relationship with Britney." I told him.

He didn't answer for a few seconds. "Yeah, I did. It was going nowhere so I broke it off."

"I know that there's a girl, er, guy out there for you." I tried to be optimistic with the situation. "You're a very handsome and amazing guy. You'll be with someone again soon."

"I hope so." This is the first time Justin showed a glimpse of his vulnerable side. When he said that, it was so small and so sad. "Hey Kyle, I have to go somewhere. Talk to you next time." And he ended the call. He didn't even let me say goodbye. I guess I hit a sore spot in him. I think that he's just sad that he has no one and the last time he dated someone -- me -- he got dumped. But I do hope that he's gonna be happy.

-------------------- End of Chapter

You've just read the 14th installment of my series. I hope that you liked what you read here. I also want to apologize for the delay of my stories coz I'm trying to manage to write 3 different series so it's a tedious process, plus, the heat here in the Philippines really induces a serious writer's block for me! ~smiles~ Anyway, the next installment is being written at the moment and it would be a little fun compared to this chapter.

Did you watch Star Wars Episode 2? Well, I am totally having this major crush with Hayden Christensen! ~sigh~ He's one major hottie in my list -- along with JC of course. ~smile~ Anyway, I'm gaining interest in Hayden's persona and I want to include him in my series. Maybe, Justin's love interest? What can you say about that???

Thanks to ALL of you who have taken the time and MAILED me! I truly appreciate it very much. A big, big shout to my Danish pals, Chris and Danny, I hope you always be in love forever coz you compliment each other perfectly. You two are made for each other! :-)

PLEASE!!!! Send me feedbacks... I'm a feedback addict! I so love those feedbacks. Short, long, good or bad, or just whatever... drop me a line okay? I also have most of the IM programs out there and I'm usually on, hopefully you can catch me.

AIM : pseud0ry Yahoo! : yr_ry MSN : yr_ry_@hotmail.com ICQ : 156360427

Also, I'm usually in the boyband chatroom.

NEW Addie is: yr_ry_@hotmail.com

EMAIL me.

A big 'HI' to the people in the Nifty Boyband Chatroom and CRAZY!!! They are so nice, especially Wes, Dru, CJ, Duckie, Strat, Clive, Jayson... and the list goes on. Wanna say hi to my friend Byron who have helped me with his support and his friendship! Stay strong in your relationship! Finally, a big big 'thank you' to David who maintains the Nifty archives, without him, we won't be reading any of the best slash fics in the world!

UPDATED. Also, here are my suggestions of other cool stories in the archive that influenced me in my craft.

NSYNC Stories.

• Jamie's Romance (Justin)

• JC's Hitchhiker (JC)

• Josh and Just (JC/Justin)

• Lance in Shining Armour (Lance)

• My New Life (Lance)

• Justin's Dark Angel (Justin)

• My Surprise Romance (Lance)

• JC Dreams (JC)

• My Soulmate JC (JC)

• Love Thru Chat (JC/Justin, Lance)

• Life with Justin (Justin)

• Jimmy Needs Assistance (Lance)

• Lance, JC and an Astral Fan (Lance/JC)

• Lance's Search (Lance/JC)

• Like the Rain (Justin)

• Time Stood Still (Justin)

• Sans Vous, Je Suis Rien (Justin)

• Chance Meeting (Justin)

• Needing You (Lance/Eminem)

• Justin and Redemption (Justin)

Backstreet Stories.

• Because I Love You (Brian/Nick)

• Double Take (Brian, Nick)

• Bad Boy B-Rok (Brian)

• Heir to the Darkness (Brian/Nick)

• Kevin and Dustin (Kevin)

• French Kiss Me (Brian)

• Millennium Love (Brian)

• Forever (Kevin)

• Get Another Boyfriend (Kevin)

• Heir to the Darkness (Nick/Brian)

• Insecurities (Nick)

• On the Streets (Kevin)

• Brian and Tommy (Brian)

Crossover Stories.

• Brian and Justin (Brian/Justin)

• The One (Brian/Justin)

• Mother Knows Best (Justin/Nick)

• Living (Almost all of NSYNC, BSB and 98') --> found in www.matthewtime.com