What I See

Disclaimer

If you are under 18 or not of legal age in your country, please do not read on. If you couldn't accept themes of homosexuality and the like, please don't read on. This is a story concerning gay males having intimate relationships and is considered FOR ADULTS ONLY due to its sexual theme and contents. BUT if you really like this stuff, please don't tell others.

Everything in this story is purely FICTIONAL. Or in simpler terms, it's not true!!! Even if this story involves NSYNC, a real, successful American singing group, and a fictitious character, all that happens in here is fictional... again, it's not true. If there are instances that it is similar to what happened in the real world, it doesn't mean that it's really true. I don't know anything about their sexuality, as far as the I and the world know, they're straight as an arrow so I dunno if they're gay (but I do have my speculations) or not but I wrote this out of freedom of speech and my love for these guys and slash fiction. I don't own or know NSYNC personally. AGAIN, it's NOT TRUE!!! but don't we all hope that it's true... hehehehe...

First Words

Hi guys. This is my 3rd work here in the boyband section of the Nifty Archives. I dunno why I called it "What I See" but I just ran out of ideas for a title and thought of something simple. So the title, What I See was born giggle. I dunno if I can manage my 3 stories at the same time but Crossed Paths is in its "season break" and Reformation is still there. But I'll really try my best to update all my stories. Remember, I love feedbacks.

Mail me at my NEW Addie at yr_ry_@hotmail.com

What I See Chapter 21

"We're gonna go out!" Ken exclaimed as he barged in my room waking me up in my fitful slumber. I was a little disoriented first not knowing where I was and wondering why Ken was here. Then, it hit me like a truck. I was in California with Ken.

"Kenny..." I started to protest.

"No no no hun." He interrupted me. "We are gonna go out and I'll do whatever it takes to put a smile on that cute face! Even if I have to haul your queer ass off that bed, I'll do it." He said to me and I knew that he meant business and he's very much capable of doing it -- from experience. "You know that sadness isn't allowed in my fabulous home! So we're gonna drown that away and charge ourselves with some joy." He smiled as he pulled me off the bed.

I just rolled my eyes but I relented. I wasn't really in the mood to do anything after my conversation with JC awhile ago. Was it still awhile ago because I kinda lost it after that. I looked at the watch and it read 8:00pm. Yeah, it was just a while ago. "I don't have anything to wear." I whined trying to convince him that it's not a good idea for me to go out.

"You're talking to the biggest clothes whore in the country. Come on, I'm gonna dress you up. This is gonna be like the old days!" Ken said as he held my hand and dragged me to his room. Once inside his room (which was stunning), he opened a door beside the bathroom. It was his closet. And it was a big big closet. "Let's see." I heard him say as he got lost in his closet leaving me in the room.

I could hear him make comments as he looked at different clothes in it. I just waited for him on the bed trying to think how on earth I would move on after everything. Move on. That's what everyone was trying to tell me for the past weeks and I didn't listen. Maybe it's the fact that it's my first serious relationship ever. Even when I was in college with Ken, we only had flings there and there and had loads of fun but we never had serious relationships -- except the relationship between us that didn't really last. He has a short attention span and I'm scared of this feeling. It just dawned to me that I had no relationships before because I hated to be rejected. Look at me now, rejected by Mr. Popstar.

"How about this Kylie?" He asked as carrying a white tanktop with the word 'sexy' on it and a pair of leather pants that seemed to be a little bit small on me. I immediately forced myself to smile a little bit to hide away my self-pity.

"I never wore..." I started.

"Hush hush! You'll wear this and you'll look better than those sleazy popstars." He said. What's the point of asking me then? "Come on now. Bath time!" He shouted and ran to the bathroom adjointed to his room. Again, I just rolled my eyes and followed him to the bathroom.

Ken and I always share baths. We are that comfortable with each other. It is very seldom for us not to take a bath together when we are in the same place. I dunno how this started but we are just so used to do it already. I removed all the clothes I was wearing until I was naked. Ken was showering already. He's singing 'Boys' on top of his lungs.

I walked beside him until the water from the showerhead hit my face. It was a little bit warm but it's very relaxing. I think I like this temperature. It eased all the soreness of my body from the plane ride and the emotional stress as well. "You are so thin." Ken commented as he massaged his hair with shampoo.

"I know." I told him. "I just can't eat well. Everything seems to remind me of JC and when that happens, I lose my appetite." I told him. I grabbed the soap and started to apply it to my body.

"Kylie, I know that you're feeling shitty right now. I wanna say that I feel what you feel but I can't because I never felt it. You know me. I'm not the person who wants serious relationships. But don't lose hope. You're not me and you will certainly find someone that will make an honest man out of you." He said as he massaged my hair with shampoo. It's certainly relaxing.

"I miss this." I said as I lean against him. "Just you and me and not a care in the world."

"I know babe." He said as he enveloped me in a tight embrace. From an outsider, I know that the two of us seemed to be lovers but like I said, we tried it and it didn't work out. We compliment each other but we are totally opposite. I guess that we are just so comfortable with each other already that these kinds of gestures are normal for us even if we are just friends.

After a few more minutes, we were done with our shower. "Where are we really going?" I asked as I took the towel that he offered me.

"There's this bar that's totally divine. I was there a few days back and I really enjoyed myself. And I think you're gonna enjoy there as well." He told me as he dried himself with a towel. I just nodded. I was not really sure if I was ready to go out since I was feeling a little bit down. Well, who wouldn't?

I always thought that JC and I would last forever even if we have little arguments and fights because I thought that it was normal for couples to have those. I never imagined that it would end up like this -- the two of us breaking up. Like they said, maybe it was not really meant to be but why do I get the feeling that we are meant to be. I love him to death but the question is does he still love me? The last time we talked, which was a few hours ago reaffirmed my worry, he sounded that he didn't love me anymore. The spark was gone.

"Hey hey!" Ken flicked his fingers in front of my face waking me up from my little daydream. "Stop doing that." He told me.

"What?" I said defensively.

"You're thinking about him." I was about to protest but he spoke further. "You look like you are not in your body and you look like Pookie just died. And I know you like a book hun." Ken told me truthfully.

"Ken, it's tough. I love him." I answered him.

"I know you love him but like I said you should try to move on. I'm not saying that you should forget him but just try. I had my share of unrequited infatuations so I know that feeling even if it's not as deep as your love with JC." Ken said as he gave me a hug once again. "I'm here for you and we're gonna erase the existence of JC in your system for a few hours, okay? I think that will do wonders for you." He said with a wink. I could imagine him setting me up already with loads of guys. "Now, go dress up so I'll see my magnificent creation." He told me.

I put on the clothes that he has picked up. Like I said, this wasn't my cup of tea at this time of my life. Maybe when I was in college, I can still wear this kind of clothes but at this age, I just thought that it's way past my prime to wear this kind of stuff.

It was a little bit loose but that's given already considering that I lost a lot of weight and Ken was really more muscular than me. I bet that this would really look better in Ken. "Amazing. You still take me breath away." Ken commented when he saw me. I couldn't help not to blush. Geez, he still has this effect on me.

"Stop it Ken." I warned him.

"Kylie, you're a gorgeous man so don't think that you're not." He told me. I just rolled my eyes. "We will just style up that hair and then we are ready to go and part-y!" He said. Again, he grabbed my hand and we walked back to the bathroom. We were in front of the mirror with the two of us looking at ourselves. "Let's see." Ken rummaged through the countless hair products that were neatly arranged on the counter. "Now, face me." Ken said as he turned me around. I have no idea what he was doing but he was doing all sorts of things with my hair. I couldn't see it because I was facing away the mirror. I'll just have to trust Ken's judgement on this.

After a few more minutes, he stopped twiddling with my hair. "All done?" I inquired.

"See it for yourself." He told me. I turned around to inspect what Ken has done. I was surprised. It was great! It looked like there were no hair products that were used on my hair. It looked so natural. "Like it?" He placed his head on my shoulder.

"I love it." I answered with a grin.

"You look like a popstar yourself." He commented. Well, he was right. I could imagine the NSYNC guys to be wearing this kind of stuff. But for me?

"Kenny, I'm not comfortable with what I'm wearing. The pants are too tight." I whined.

"Kyle, you look hot. You look beautiful. And the tight pants accentuates your crotch and ass." He told me with a grin.

"I don't know why I let you do this." I said out of exasperation.

"Coz you love me." He replied. "And deep inside you love what you are wearing." I raised my eyebrow after he spoke. I love what I'm wearing? "Don't give me the I'm-too-old-for-this-shit routine. I know you Kylie." He pointed at me.

"Yeah yeah yeah." I sighed.

"That's the spirit." He told me. "Go wear your shoes and I'll follow you in a sec. I do have to make myself pretty as well." He said. I walked to my room to get my pair of shoes and at the same time thinking about what Ken told me. I walked to the mirror in the room and looked at myself. The shirt was a little bit loose but one could still see that I was toned. The tight pants did really emphasize on my butt and crotch. Jeez, I looked like a guy with a hardon. I have to say that what Ken did was amazing. I could never picture myself to be wearing this but I was seeing it at that moment. It was real.

I walked to my shoes and wore it. I guess it was okay since they were just sneakers and they'll look fine with what I'm wearing. I also took my cellphone and wallet coz I know we're gonna spend some money.

When I returned to his room, Ken was tieing his shoes. He styled his hair that looked like bedhair so it was going at all directions but it was done tastefully. "Nice hair." I commented. He just smiled.

"Come on. Let's go." He told me after he grabbed his wallet and keys. The two of us walked to his car and we were off to God-knows-where bar. As usual, he was driving at a very fast pace but I was adjusted to it already, which was a good thing.

I pulled out my cellphone to call my brother. I pressed the number of the house and waited for him to answer. "Hello." Someone answered.

"Kyle here." I answered. "Everything okay there?" I asked. I have no idea why but I just couldn't feel at ease being away from my home. And maybe Pookie as well. Or also the curiosity that Josh would have called me.

"Everything is cool. Pookie had her dinner already and she's here watching the TV with me." Paul answered.

"Great. Any calls? Anything for me?" I asked.

"Well, Dee was here a few minutes ago and we raided your food here." He laughed at that. I just rolled my eyes because it was so typical of my two siblings to have done that. "Hmmm, calls? JC and Justin called." He told me nonchalantly.

"What did they want?" I pried.

"I don't know. Well, the two of them said that they just wanted to talk to you but JC seemed a little more adamant." He replied. I have no concrete idea why those two called me but my mind was playing scenarios already in my mind.

"What did you tell them?" I said.

"I told them that you're away right now to build yourself once again." Paul answered. "Do you have anything to share to me?" He inquired.

"I called JC earlier and I think we're really broken up." I told him sadly.

"Now now. No more of that. I want you to just forget everything for the night, okay?" Paul told me. "He doesn't deserve you."

"Okay okay." I sighed.

"Ken taking you out?" He asked and I affirmed him. "That's great! I guess I picked the right guy to take your mind off things. Thank him for me for bringing you back to the world of the normal people." He told me. I just laughed dryly and hung up.

"Everything fine?" Ken asked looking at me.

"Ken! The road!" I shrieked. He looked at the road. "Everything's fine but JC and Justin called me." I told him.

"Will you call them?" He questioned.

"I think I'll call Justin. I can't talk to JC at the moment." I answered and looked for Justin's entry in the phonebook of my cellphone. I dialed his number.

"This is Justin's phone. I'm unavailable right now so just leave your message and I'll just call you back." Justin's pre-recorded voice answered.

"Hey Jus! Kyle here. I heard from Paul that you called earlier. Just call me in my cell, okay? Talk to you later and good luck in your concert." I said and hung up. "Voicemail." I told Ken who just nodded.

"So tell me about this Justin guy." Ken just said out of the blue.

"What's to say?" I asked back.

"Ooh. Defensive. There IS something." Ken told me with his shit-eating grin. I hated him for that because he just knew me so well.

"We had a little thing before JC and I hooked up." I answered. "But I don't have feelings for him so we didn't have something."

"But he's still interested in you." Ken asked.

I sighed. "Yes." I told him blandly.

"You are one fucked up guy!" Ken laughed. "I can't believe that you have two of the hottest guys in the world."

"Correction, one." I told him sadly. Ken was just silent after that.

After a few minutes, we slowed down to a stop. "We're here." He told me. I looked at the scenery. I looked at my right saw this club. Faith. I guessed that it was the one. There was a long line already waiting until they're ushered inside. And yeah, it's a gay club seeing drags and straight looking ones outside.

"We're gonna take forever til we get in." I groaned as we stepped out of the car.

"No we are not." He just answered me and after everything was locked, we walked hand by hand to this Club Faith. I hoped that Ken would really do his magic and he could take away the pain and sadness that I was feeling at that moment.

Ken just walked in front of the line and smiled at the bouncer. "Hey there!" Ken greeted.

"Hi Ken! Back again huh?" He asked. "Ooooh and with a hot guy too!" He added that made me blush. "Aaw, ain't that the cutest blush?" He smiled at me. He was pretty big and I couldn't pinpoint that this guy was gay. He was too muscular for it.

"You think we can enter without you know?" Ken said as he eyed the long line.

"Anything for you Ken." He answered. "And your hot date." He looked at me and ushered us in. I could hear a few complains from the guys in the line and I felt a little bad for them but I knew that I wouldn't like falling in line as well.

"I can't believe that you have the bouncer at your fingers already. And it's your second time here!" I exclaimed. Ken just grinned. The club was already filled with people and the music was blaring. I think it was Spinning Around by Kylie Minogue.

"Let's go buy drinks." He said as we walked to the bar.

"Kenny we can't! We're driving." I complained.

"I'll just drink a little but you must be dead drunk later hun!" He told me. Oh dear, this is gonna be a long night.

-------------------- End of Chapter

Hey there guys and gals! Finally, here's chapter 21. I know that there's nothing much happening in this chapter but the next one will surely have something exciting. I'm not spilling anything yet but I already have something in my mind. :-)

Thanks to ALL of you who have taken the time and MAILED me! I truly appreciate it very much. It's really nice to know if there are people who are actually reading what I write. A big big shout out to Danny and Chris!

PLEASE!!!! Send me feedbacks... I'm a feedback addict! I so love those feedbacks. Short, long, good or bad, or just whatever... drop me a line okay? I also have most of the IM programs out there and I'm usually on, hopefully you can catch me.

AIM : pseud0ry Yahoo! : yr_ry MSN : yr_ry_@hotmail.com ICQ : 156360427

Also, I'm usually in the boyband chatroom.

email address: yr_ry_@hotmail.com

EMAIL me.

A big 'HI' to the people in the Nifty Boyband Chatroom and CRAZY!!! They are so nice, especially Wes, Dru, Bernie, CJ, Duckie, Strat, Clive, Jayson... and the list goes on. Wanna say hi to my friend Byron who have helped me with his support and his friendship! Stay strong in your relationship! Finally, a big big 'thank you' to David who maintains the Nifty archives, without him, we won't be reading any of the best slash fics in the world!

Also, here are my suggestions of other cool stories in the archive that influenced me in my craft.

NSYNC Stories.

• Jamie's Romance (Justin)

• Love Thru Chat (JC/Justin, Lance)

• Josh and Just (JC/Justin)

• Lance in Shining Armour (Lance)

• My New Life (Lance)

• Justin's Dark Angel (Justin)

• My Surprise Romance (Lance)

• Life with Justin (Justin)

• JC's Hitchhiker (JC)

• Jimmy Needs Assistance (Lance)

• Lance, JC and an Astral Fan (Lance/JC)

• Lance's Search (Lance/JC)

• Like the Rain (Justin)

• JC Dreams (JC)

• My Soulmate JC (JC)

• Sans Vous, Je Suis Rien (Justin)

• Chance Meeting (Justin)

• Needing You (Lance/Eminem)

• Thieves (Lance)

• Blind Revolution (Justin)

• Rebound (Justin)

• Designs on You (Justin)

Backstreet Stories.

• Because I Love You (Brian/Nick)

• Double Take (Brian/Nick)

• Bad Boy B-Rok (Brian)

• Heir to the Darkness (Brian/Nick)

• Kevin and Dustin (Kevin)

• French Kiss Me (Brian)

• Millennium Love (Brian)

• Forever (Kevin)

• Get Another Boyfriend (Kevin)

• Heir to the Darkness (Nick/Brian)

• Insecurities (Nick)

• On the Streets (Kevin)

• Brian and Tommy (Brian)

Crossover Stories.

• Brian and Justin (Brian/Justin)

• The One (Brian/Justin)

• Living (Almost all of NSYNC, BSB and 98') --> found in www.matthewtime.com