Disclaimer: I don't know Westlife blah blah blah, it's only fiction.
A short introduction to not make you too confused: It's a series, and the first five parts are songfics (it's really another series called All you Want; What makes a Man is the sequel. i just called the whole thing for What makes a man here...), and in this part the lyrics are taken from 'What is love all About', by Ice, a Norwegian band.
If you've read anything I've posted here before, such as Sexual healing-series (sorry I haven't posted that one in a while, I've just had too many other projects to work on... soooorry!!), I shoudl say that this one is a bit different; a little more emotional and angsty,and not that much of sex (though there are parts of that!).
If you have any coms (comments, complaints or compliments(???)), drop an email of to zeldium@yahoo.no, and if you would want to read more (for some weird reason) drop into my site; http://move.to/shian4ever.
I guess that's enough rambling, or what?
Zelda
(pairing here: Mark/Shane. Don't want to spoil the whole thing by rambling the rest right away...shuts up now...)
What is love all About?
'It all happened so suddenly I wasn't even prepared To lose the one I loved the most I feel so alone and betrayed'
Shane closed the door to the room, and leaned to it. Sadly he closed his eyes, feeling the tears burning behind them. He couldn't seem to fight them anymore, and they were rolling down his cheeks, like big glass beads that didn't seem to want to end now that they were finally free.
He whimpered, and collapsed down to the floor, sliding his back to the door, whimpering again as he hit the floor.
"Rock bottom..." he said silently to himself, and cupped his face, as he felt a new barrier of emotion break down, and let the pain break free.
'My soul has been undressed Make it as a dream to fall When love let's you down You're not completely on your own'
He had been such a mess the last weeks, since he found out about Mark and Kian.
Nothing happened between him and Mark, and he had never really seen any hope for it after what had happened between him and Mark, but it still hurt... it hurt so bad, even there had never been a 'them'... maybe that was why it had been so painful? There had been such a big chance for them, when Mark told him about his feelings, but then Shane screwed it up...
He was so mad at himself for never done anything about it. He had the chance all along, to tell Mark that he didn't mean what he had said that night... but he was too proud to do it... and he led him right into Kian's arms...
'What is love all about, when now it seems so hard to tell? What is love all about? I feel that I have reached to end What is love all about, when now it seems so hard to tell? What is love all about? I feel that I have reached to end'
Shane rose up and dried away the tears with the palm of his hand.
He always promised himself that he would never cry, just because of the sight of Mark with Kian. But every time he saw them, something happened inside of him, somewhere deep, deep inside...
It was a weird feeling, so hard to describe... it was like an arrow shooting through his chest, and hitting the most vulnerable part of him; his heart, his soul.
He just wanted Mark so badly, and knowing that he had wrecked every thing, just by that word, 'repulsive', made him feel sick...
He hated the word... repulsive... it didn't mean much, but still it had been so destructing, and ruined everything for him.
Shane went to his bed, and lay down. He felt like such a failure...
He turned onto his back, and stared up in the ceiling.
He started humming, and found a sound that suited his mood, then started singing...
"It's over and done, but the heart ache lives on inside. And who is the one you're clinging to, instead of me tonight? And where are you now, now that it's over? Tears on my pillow, wherever you go. I cry thee a river, that leads to an ocean. You never see me fall apart, in the words of a broken heart..."
Bryan just stepped into the room, as he heard Shane's singing, and realized that he hadn't noticed him, as he continued on the chorus...
"It's just emotions, taking me over. I'm caught up in sorrow, lost in the song. But if you don't come back, come home to me, darling... don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight. And don't you know there's nobody left to kiss good night...?"
Bryan hadn't notice Shane's tears before he rose up in the bed, and dried them away. Shane had still not noticed Bryan, just standing some feet's away from him.
"What's the matter?" Bryan asked.
Shane startled and stared at him. "Nothing..." he said hastily, and rose up from the bed to go to the bathroom, didn't want Bryan to see him like this.
But Bryan stopped him. "Nothing? Is that why you're crying? Is that why you're singing a Destiny's Child-song about loneliness?"
'My soul has been undressed Make it as a dream to fail When love let's you down You're not completely on your own, all alone...'
"Just leave me alone..." Shane said. Before he broke down in tears again.
Bryan felt bad as he saw Shane in tears like this. He took his arms around him, and pulled him close. "Shane, What's the matter?"
"I just feel so lonely..." Shane sobbed to him.
"Wanna talk about it?" Bryan asked and looked at him.
Shane looked up at him. He was a bit unsure. It could be nice to talk about it, but what would the reaction be? "Do you want to hear about it?"
Bryan nodded. "If you want to tell me, I'd be happy to listen."
Shane just leaned to Bryan's embrace.
'What is love all about, when now it seems so hard to tell? What is love all about? I feel that I have reached to end What is love all about, when now it seems so hard to tell? What is love all about? I feel that I have reached to end'
Copyright Zelda