What Might Have Been

WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN: PART 21- All Good Things Must Come To An End ------------------------------------------------------------------

For the next couple of weeks of November things were uneventful for the most part. Actually, things were going pretty well aside from the usual teasing from kids at school, not that this was anything new to me. As far as home was concerned, the issue regarding me wearing diapers seemed to be settled and nearly everyone in my immediate family, including my grandparents, was aware of it now. Only my sister Julie would have yet to find out when she came home from college for Thanksgiving.

Thanks to the punishment that Tom and his friends received from the vice principal they were not to talk to John and me, nor to even be near us. This didn't stop the rest of the students from poking fun at us for being in diapers and stinking of pee and poop most of the time. John took it all in stride and he didn't seem to care what people said to him. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it when people called attention to his being in his version of diapers. He even called himself names like "Stinky Butt" and "Shit Butt", walking down the hallway with his shirt up and letting the waistbands of his underwear show. If he had the opportunity to do it he would probably walk through the halls without any pants on at all and showing off his two dozen-plus briefs to everyone and not bat an eye.

Never before had I been happier with any one friend than with John. It didn't even matter to me anymore that Kurt and Justin had severed their ties with me. John was so much more fun. Every weekend we got together and enjoyed sitting around in shit-filled diapers the whole time and jacking off. We wrote stories and drew pictures and had lots of fun with the instant camera at John's house. We must have had over a dozen pictures of each of us donning our diapers, and thanks to C.J., there were several pictures taken of John and me together. I also had photocopies and reprints of the dozens of pictures that C.J. had taken of John in his multiple underpants. I shared with John the few pictures Rena managed to get of me in my diapers. We each had a growing scrapbook of memoirs of our mutual interests in shit-filled underwear and diapers. We each felt we had the perfect friendship in spite of what everyone else at school thought about us. We didn't need any of those assholes.

This is not to say that everything was rosy at this point, but overall I felt pretty good about myself and my friendship with John. There were still some issues I had to work out. I didn't handle the teasing from other kids as well as John. In spite of the pleasures it brought to me to wear diapers at home, I just didn't feel that I should wear them at school. Of course it was too late for that now since virtually everyone knew about it now. I tried to follow John's lead and figure that I had nothing to lose at this point, but it wasn't that easy. This was the one issue that I still had to work out with myself and my desire to wear diapers.

The day was Monday, the week of Thanksgiving. I was in the middle of doing an English exercise when one of the office aids delivered a note to Mrs. Tucker, my English teacher. She called me to the front.

"What the hell?" I thought to myself. I knew I had done nothing wrong, so why was I being called to the office? Mrs. Tucker wrote the time on the slip and told me I could finish the assignment tonight and turn it in tomorrow.

Nervously I walked down the hall to the principal's office. My diapers were wet and poopy. I felt the slimy filth of my wastes clinging to my butt as I made my way into the office.

I handed the note to the receptionist, who recorded the time I arrived on the slip.

"Mr. Jordan will be right with you," the receptionist said.

"Th-th-thanks," I uttered. The receptionist could see that I was about to jump out of my skin, being that I was so nervous and pale.

"Are you okay?" she asked me, seeing that I was shaking and even hyperventilating.

"No, I'm not," I said, almost crying.

"Can I call the nurse for you?" she asked me.

"I dunno," I said. "I don't know what I did! I don't know why I'm in trouble. I didn't do anything."

"You're here to see Mr. Jordan, right?" she asked me.

"Uh yeah, why?"

"He's the school counselor, sir, not a vice principal."

I didn't even know the school had anybody like this.

"He's not the principal?" I said naively. I had only been at this school for a few months and I didn't know the names of all the administrative or specialist staff members.

"No, he's not, so you're not in trouble," the receptionist assured me. Boy, was this a relief! I felt chills running through my body as my adrenaline rush peaked and then went down. I was sweating and still shaking as I recovered from my anxiety.

A few minutes later a bearded man in a cardigan sweater appeared.

"Mr. Danny Crossman," he said.

"Yes, that's me," I replied.

"Mr. Jordan," he introduced himself. His demeanor was warmer than I could ever expect from a vice principal or even most teachers. He directed me into his office and gently shut his door. His office was warm and inviting with soft lighting, carpet and wood-panel walls. There were some plants, although they were fake plastic and covered in dust. The walls had pleasant pictures and motivational posters. This was in stark contrast to the cold, intimidating environment in the principal's office where the floor was hard tile, the walls were painted cinderblock, and bright fluorescent lighting. The only thing on the walls there were a clock and a few posters to remind you of who was in charge and why you were probably there.

Mr. Jordan could see that I was still very shaken and he told me to just breathe deeply and relax.

"You're not in trouble, Mr. Crossman," he told me. "Did you think I was one of the principals?"

"Yeah, I did," I said. "Sorry."

"Ahh, it's all right," he said. "You're new here and a lot of kids in your grade don't know who I am or that I'm even here until they talk to me."

"So, uhh, what am I here for?" I asked Mr. Jordan. He got right down to business and told me that all of my teachers had reported that students in their classes had been causing disruptions because of the fact that I wear diapers. He also mentioned that he had observed the activity that had been going on around me at lunchtime. Because of this, he wanted to talk to me and help me to deal with this matter. After seeing that I was calmed down he asked me some non-probing questions and got me comfortable enough to where I would take the lead and tell him about how I felt about wearing diapers in school. He assured me that everything we discussed would remain in strict confidence.

I didn't go into a lot of details, but I did tell Mr. Jordan that I have always had the desire to wear diapers which resulted from difficult potty training, and only recently did events that occurred at home come to a head and it was decided that the only way to resolve the issue was for me to wear diapers full time, including school.

I hesitated several times and said, "I can't believe I'm talking to anyone about all of this."

"It's okay, Danny," Mr. Jordan assured me. "Remember, none of the things that you tell me, leaves this room."

"But, somebody is going to know, right?" I said.

"If necessary, other adults may have to know, but if you're concerned about your classmates or your teachers finding out, no."

"So, then what's going to happen?" I asked. "I can't wear diapers to school?"

"You have to understand that what you are doing is very unusual," Mr. Jordan stated. "It's not normal for a boy your age to wear diapers. Because of this, it's creating a big problem for all of your teachers, and they have to make sure they deliver their lessons to their students. We can't have everybody's parents complaining that their children aren't learning anything because the teacher has to spend so much time controlling the classroom behavior."

"So, no more diapers, right?" I said.

"I didn't say that, Danny. I just want you to understand why this is so important for me to talk to you about this."

As our talk continued, it seemed that Mr. Jordan was concerned that my coming to school in diapers was a form of parental abuse as most of his questions seemed to be related to this area. I didn't want him to turn my parents in since I didn't think they were doing anything wrong by having me wear diapers. I knew it would mean being made fun of at school, but I rationalized this by telling myself, just as John did, that I had nothing to lose at this point. His concern then turned to the fact that I exhibited such low self-esteem.

Mr. Jordan asked me some more questions and he gave me a few minutes to tell him some other things about my background. He felt pretty confident that I had a good home life, which I did, but added that perhaps the issue regarding me wearing diapers could be handled in such a way that I didn't need to be wearing them to school.

I voluntarily mentioned to Mr. Jordan my recently formed friendship with John and how I befriended him after I observed the extreme extent to which he wore his underpants and used them like a diaper. Mr. Jordan nodded at this, although he didn't acknowledge that he had spoken to John. Given John's behavior, I had a feeling that John had also been in here to talk to Mr. Jordan about his extreme diaper/underwear shitting fetish. As Mr. Jordan had to remain committed to his vow of confidentiality, I knew he wouldn't answer any questions I had concerning any such discussions with John. I decided to tell John after school about my discussion with Mr. Jordan, hoping that John would tell me about any experiences he may have had talking to Mr. Jordan.

I was told that I would have an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Babbitt, who was the school psychiatrist. I felt better after talking to Mr. Jordan. I shook his hand as I left the office and returned to class for all of five minutes before the bell rang.

During lunch I told John about my visit with Mr. Jordan and my upcoming visit with Dr. Babbitt. He told me that he had visited with Mr. Jordan a few times during the school year and had also been evaluated by Dr. Babbitt.

I noticed that John appeared rather glum-looking. As I told John that I noticed his mood, he told me that there was more to his past that he didn't want to tell me until after school. I asked him what brought him to where he wanted to tell me this.

"I'll explain it all after school," John said.

"Okay, I said. This wasn't sounding good and I could hardly stand the suspense that would remain with me until John finally had the chance to tell me what was on his mind. I asked him if he could come over to my house after school and we could discuss it there. John agreed to do this. For the rest of the day I thought about what the big news that John had to tell me was.

After school John came over to my house with me as we had agreed upon. Since Rena was home she stripped me of my overripe diapers first thing and thoroughly cleaned me up, putting me into a clean and much thicker set of diapers. John watched Rena perform every step of my diaper change. He even assisted her with putting in the diaper pins. Rena then asked John if he wanted to be diapered, too.

"Sure," he said, opting to enjoy wearing some real diapers instead of his underwear. "I'm gonna be here awhile anyway." With this, Rena pulled off the massive multitude of his poop-filled and pee-soaked underpants and replaced them with a set of diapers that she layered on him as thickly as mine. After Rena left our room John called his Mom at work to let her know where he was. He also asked her if he could stay for dinner. After asking my Mom if he could stay for dinner and getting my Mom's approval, John told his mother that he would call her when he was ready to go home. With this bit of business done, John and I returned to my bedroom. Rena had gone upstairs and my Mom went over to the store to help my Dad. John was glad to see that we had the whole downstairs to ourselves now.

John asked me to close the door to my room, which I did. John then sat on one end of my bed while I sat on the other. At long last I would find out what he was wanting to tell me.

"We're moving," John said to me. He gave me a moment to absorb this information. It hit me like a brick. My exhilarated feelings about our solid friendship were suddenly shattered and my bubble had burst. It seemed that in only two months of friendship we were inseparable and would remain best friends for the rest of our lives.

"What?" I said once I had a moment to think about John's doleful announcement.

"Yeah, I didn't even find out until this morning," John said somberly.

"When are you moving?" I asked him.

"After Thanksgiving," he said. I was hoping it would be longer than this. "The thrift shop is closing the day before. It's already sold, merchandise and all. My Dad had to accept a quick and cheap offer."

"So I take it you won't be living around here anymore," I said.

"No, we're moving to Oregon," he said glumly. "I don't even know where, other than that it will be on the coast, a long ways from here."

"Shit," I said as I put my arm around John, wanting to cry. "Why all the sudden are you just moving? Why did your Dad have to sell his store so fast?"

"We found out that my asshole father, my real father, is in Boise and he's looking for us."

I could hear the anger in John's voice as he mentioned his real father. John then recounted in more detail the horrible things his dad did to him and what John did to keep his dad from molesting him. He told me again about how he would have C.J. pin his underwear on for him to keep his dad from "grabbing the goods", as John euphemized it. He also explained that by making himself dirty and soiled with shit that this would make him less desirable to his father, which pissed him off.

John then digressed some more from the topic about him moving and he told me that C.J.'s involvement with his multi-layered underwear led him and C.J. to engage in incestuous activity with each other, which, after awhile, gave C.J. another excuse to pin John's underwear on after making sure he had on so many pairs that he, in turn, could do nothing with his genitals except to keep his sexual feelings contained within his own shit-filled underwear.

"We both feel guilty about what we did before and we try not to talk about it," John said. "I think my guilt over having my first sexual experience with a girl being my sister is what turned me off from girls and why I think I'm gay."

I didn't know what to make of John's sexual orientation at this point. It all seemed so highly convoluted with so many different influences contributing to it, some good and some bad. Everything about his sexuality could be traced back to his use of multiple underpants and pooping in it. It made me glad I wasn't a sex therapist who had to try straightening it all out for John.

"I still let C.J. clean my shitty stinky ass up and put all my undies on for me," John continued. He began rubbing himself while he talked about C.J. "She enjoys it, too, putting pair after pair, after pair, after pair, after pair, after pair, after pair, after pair, and so on, on her little brother's butt, until she's got three or four dozen pairs of underwear on me, knowing I will have to shit in them and fill up my underwear with poop, since I can't get them off because she's pinned the top six pairs or so to my shirt. She always tells me about how big and thick and white my underwear looks to her and how much I smell of poop, saying that this is how she thinks all boys should be treated. Then, she will stick her ass in my face, showing off the fact that she has jeans on and I don't. She'll threaten to fart in my face, just to tease me, but then tell me that girls are clean and don't fart. Once in awhile she will surprise me. She does it because she likes to do this to me, and she knows that I like it. I'm a fucking weirdo to like this shit so much, but goddammit, I enjoy it more than anything else."

I had to admit that John was starting to go off the deep end at this point. I began to understand the extremity to which he carried his underwear/diaper fetish. And to think I was obsessed with a fetish for shitty diapers. My case was quite mild compared to John; his was borderline dysfunctional, as evidenced by his admission to frequently masturbating in shit-filled underpants in front of C.J.

John then began masturbating vigorously. He asked me to sit on him and stick my diapered butt in his face while he lay down on my bed and jerked himself off. He recited the things that C.J. often told him while he jacked off. A few minutes later he came, and he kept rubbing himself until he completely exhausted himself. I got up off of him and let him cool down and regain his breath. After he rested he apologized to me.

"Sorry that I got so excited there," John said. "I can't help it that all I can ever think about is pooping in my underwear and getting off on it. As you probably know by now, my sexuality is totally fucked up. I do this in front of C.J. all the time and she tells me what she sees when I go around in my thick underwear and what she thinks about it. I just had a lot of tension to get out after finding out about moving."

"It's okay," I said to John, again putting my arm around him. "You can be sure that this is something I will never, ever tell anyone."

"Thanks," John said as he wiped a tear from his eye. We then got back to talking about the move. John told me how they found out his real dad had moved to Boise and was on the lookout for John and his family.

"Can't you get a restraining order against him?" I suggested.

"My Dad would rather just get us the fuck away from him," John said. "He's tired of dealing with the cops since they can't seem to do anything."

John and I talked about past experiences with each other, having only covered the last two months. It seemed that we had been friends longer than this, and of course I wished it would last forever. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end.

WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN: PART 22- Last Day at John's House -------------------------------------------------------

Finding out about John's sudden announcement that he was moving left me feeling very bummed out, to say the least. As I had another appointment with Mr. Jordan on Tuesday, I talked to him about this matter briefly before he escorted me to Dr. Babbitt's office. Dr. Babbitt asked me a series of questions and had me answer some tests and perform some mental exercises, one of which included reassembling a puzzle that consisted of blocks divided diagonally with a red triangle on one side and a white triangle on the other. I didn't really understand the purpose of all this, but I went along with it. It was better than my usual schoolwork. Dr. Babbitt asked me some more questions about my diaper fetish. I didn't feel as comfortable with him as I did with Mr. Jordan. Dr. Babbitt's approach was more objective and clinical in nature. After he wrote some notes on his clipboard he excused me from his office and I returned to class.

After school I had told my Mom about John and why he was moving. My Mom understood why I was so upset about this, seeing that I had so much fun with John and that we shared an unusual interest and needed each other's support. My Mom felt especially bad about John when she learned of John's abusive past and hoped that he would find a friend like me wherever he was going. She also acknowledged that she wasn't surprised to learn of John's history of abuse, of which I didn't give my Mom the full details.

"Maybe you and John can write letters back and forth," my Mom suggested. I agreed it was a good idea, but it was no substitute for having John's thickly covered butt right in front of me while he was wearing several dozen pairs of underwear and shitting in it while I did the same thing in my diapers. I felt that I needed his close friendship more than ever and things just wouldn't be the same without him. He was a one-of-a-kind as far as I was concerned.

Wednesday passed uneventfully for the most part. School was only half a day and everyone was excited about the upcoming four days off from school. I wish I had more to be excited about, though. John had to go home after school and get his stuff packed for moving. I decided to go over there with him and help him. It would be our last chance to spend any time with each other.

I followed John into his house with him. As I looked around the house a number of nonessential items had been packed and stuffed into boxes. C.J. was busy packing up stuff in the kitchen when we got home.

"How are you boys?" she asked.

"Okay, I guess," I said. "I'm gonna miss you guys."

"I know," C.J. said, trying to console me while giving me a hug. "I'm going to miss you, too, Danny. You're a lot of fun, and you're just like John. I hope he'll find someone like him to be friends with."

John didn't waste any time to get his pants off so that he could get his underwear changed. I went into his room with him and saw that some of his belongings had already been boxed up. John still had his underwear in his drawers and he explained that his underwear drawers would be loaded into the U-Haul truck with his underwear in them.

"No point packing it into boxes first," John said. "I'd need a lot of boxes, for one thing," he added with a proud look on his face.

"Yeah, you would," I said as I watched him strip off his plastic pants and two dozen pairs of wet underwear, the maximum amount he could wear with his big pants to fit over them. He removed the last few pairs and revealed the huge clod of poop that had been wedged between his butt and his undies for the last few hours. As his poop was hard and solid, it hadn't spread around all over his butt like it usually did, so he didn't even take time to clean himself up. He left the residual layer of poop on his behind and then proceeded to "diaper" himself up. While he was busy putting on his briefs he told me to take my pants off.

"You're gonna be here awhile anyway," he said. With this I removed my pants and tossed them aside, leaving me in just my diapers. I was only wet so far. John spent several minutes putting more and more underwear on. Judging by the thickness of his underwear and the size of the pairs he had to use on top of the stack he had on over three dozen pairs. The most I had seen him wearing was 50 pairs. I asked him how many he was planning to put on.

"I dunno," he said. "How about let's have a contest and see who can put the most underwear on," John suggested excitedly. I agreed, being that this would probably be the last time John and I would have the chance to have this kind of fun with each other. Of course this meant taking off my diapers, which were only wet, and replacing them with John's underwear. I was only diapered for school anyway, meaning that my diapers were thinner than normal so that they could accommodate my pants.

I pulled down my plastic pants and then unpinned my diapers and let them drop to the floor. I figured while my diapers were off I might as well get them washed and dried so that they would be ready by the time I was ready to go back home. For now I set my diapers aside and began putting on underwear, taking it straight out of John's drawer.

"How many have you put on so far?" I asked him.

"Forty," he said. He also told me how many of each size he had used, so I followed his guidelines and began putting on the same amount. Several of the pairs were dingy and stained beyond hope of ever being mostly white ever again, but it didn't matter. It felt funny going back to putting on multiple pairs of underwear after being in real diapers for over a month now. I came to appreciate the unique qualities of multiple underpants that I had missed with wearing diapers, especially the fly fronts and the wide array of varying waistband stripe patterns.

Once I had caught up with John and had on the same amount of underwear that was contained in John's thick stack, we began the contest. At forty pairs mine were already fitting tightly and my stomach felt constricted. I had put on a dozen size 12's and 14's each, and then I had on sixteen size 16's. Since John's waist was smaller than mine he could go to 50 pairs, using size 18 briefs that his Mom had brought home from the store recently. I also dipped into the size 18 supply he had and began putting these on. I managed to reach 50 pairs, but this was as far as I could go. They were so stretched out and they couldn't go up over the huge mass of underwear I had on. John was still going, shooting for and eventually attaining 60 pairs!

"There, 60 pairs!" he announced. "That's a new record!"

"Looks like you won," I said. "I could barely put on fifty."

John acknowledged that he had an advantage over me by having a smaller waistline than I did. One thing for sure was that fifty pairs of underwear was awfully damn thick, to say nothing of sixty pairs. John's butt was sticking out more than I had ever seen it before. Since most of the underwear had a second layer in the seat, the underwear on his butt was over a hundred layers thick! He sat on the bed and I could see a solid, dense wall of underpants layered atop one another in his crotch. I had an immense hard-on that was being pressed up against my waist ever so tightly. Just walking around-- which was very hard to do at this point-- generated enough friction between my body and my briefs to stimulate my penis. I felt I could bring myself to ejaculation if I walked around enough. Between this and the sight of John's padded butt I couldn't resist the urge to elicit an ejaculation. I asked John if I could rub my front up against his behind, explaining that I was about to come any minute. He said his underwear was doing the same thing to him. He got up on his hands and knees and bent over, allowing me to use his butt clad in five dozen pairs of underwear as a surface for me to rub against as well as for its visual appeal. At the same time I reached around John's waist and rubbed the front of his underwear. I couldn't feel his hard-on underneath all that underwear.

It didn't take me long for both John and me to lose our cum loads. John rolled on his back and lay on his bed after he came, keeping his sixty pairs of underwear on. After I creamed my relatively paltry four-dozen plus pairs of underpants I had to remove it and take the pressure off of my waist and my genitals. I realized that I had gone beyond a comfortable limit.

After I had a chance to recover from such an intense masturbation I put thirty pairs of underwear back on, half of what John kept on himself for the rest of the afternoon. I put my plastic pants on and then picked up my diapers to carry them out to the washing machine. John went ahead of me and waddled in his enormous stack of undies.

C.J. was still busy individually wrapping each glass in newspaper when she saw us come out to the kitchen. She noticed that John had on more underwear than he usually wore.

"Going for another record, I see, now that Mom picked up some bigger underwear to fit over that butt of yours," C.J. remarked.

"Sixty pairs!" John said as he turned his rear end to C.J. to show off the magnitude of the thickness of his underwear. C.J. pulled back his plastic pants and ran her hand over the waistbands, seeing that many of them didn't come up high enough to fit over the pairs that rose up higher on his back, which were somewhere in the 30-40 pair range.

"Looks like you'll have to go to men's sizes now," C.J. remarked, citing the fact that with the size 18 pairs, John had reached the upper limit on boys' underwear sizes, at least externally. He had a ways to go on the inside, however.

"Well, Mom will have to start buying them since we won't have the thrift store anymore," John said.

"Mom said she would get you some real diapers after this, anyway," C.J. said. C.J. then noticed that I had on briefs and not diapers when she saw the multitude of waistband showing through my plastic pants as well as the fly front.

"Did you go back to underwear like John again?" C.J. asked me.

"Just for today, since I didn't have any extra diapers with me," I explained. "In fact, I'm putting these in the wash so I'll have clean diapers to wear home." With this, I took my diapers out to the washing machine and then I returned to the kitchen. John and I helped C.J. wrap the glasses and some of the other dishes and then pack them. Thinking about the fact that tomorrow was Thanksgiving, it occurred to me that this wasn't an ideal time to be packing dishes. I asked C.J. how they were going to have Thanksgiving dinner.

"We're going to a restaurant," C.J. explained. "With this move coming up all the sudden, there's just too much going on for us to have dinner here."

"We're going to my grandparents' house," I said.

John and I finished helping C.J. pack the dishes. We then went to John's room where I helped him pack all his stuff. He had several books and magazines as well as toys. When we got to his collection of diaper- related materials such as drawings and stories, we both sat on the bed and looked through all of them to reminisce on the last few months of our lives, perhaps the happiest days of our lives in spite of what we dealt with at school. During that time I loaded my underpants and the entire seat filled up with shit. My crotch and balls were blissfully coated in filth, it felt so good, enough to elicit an erection again. John, too, enjoyed a good dump in his underwear. He got up on his hands and knees and stuck his butt in my face. He on so much underwear that I had no idea that he was taking a shit in them. I couldn't even smell it. He said he had farted, but his sixty pairs of underwear muted it to complete silence.

After having read to each other some passages from our own many underwear/diaper shitting stories, we jacked each other off again. I had shot most of my cum from just awhile ago, but it still felt good as John's hand rubbed the front of my underpants until I couldn't withstand the stimulation any longer. After we enjoyed ourselves for a few minutes more we went back to packing things up. We still weren't ready to put away John's collection just yet and caught ourselves thumbing through the pages again in spite of having just exhausted ourselves of erotic energy.

In just a short amount of time, John had amassed a good collection of stories and artwork as well as a thick scrapbook full of diaper ad clippings from magazines and a big photo album of him in his "diapers." I imagined what we would have in a couple years from now if only John weren't moving away.

"If only John weren't moving away," I repeated those words through my mind. It was enough to make me shed a couple tears. I felt a great pang of sadness as John and I took one last look at his collection together before he packed it all away. At least he and I had the same things in each other's collections by making copies of each other's work or having duplicate diaper ad clippings. We only had crudely discernible photocopies of each other's photographs, but they were good enough to help us remember what each of us looked like wearing what we loved to wear and use. Our collections would be a lifelong reminder of these wonderful times we had together.

WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN: PART 23- Julie's Reaction -----------------------------------------------

After John and I had spent most of the afternoon together, Mom called and said she would come pick me up. By then my diapers were washed and dried. C.J. wanted to diaper me one last time, so I let her do the work. She took me into the bathroom and stripped off the thirty pairs of underpants I had on. As I felt my underpants thinning down, I watched the pile of wet briefs grow bigger and bigger, with several badly soiled pairs to top of the heap of piss-soaked undies. C.J. gave my butt and my balls plenty of attention as she dutifully cleaned off the layer of filthy poop, as if she were immune to the smell from having cleaned her brother's butt the same way for so many years. Naked below my waist, C.J. then escorted me into John's bedroom and had me lie on his bed. She had taken with her my diapers, which were still warm from being in the dryer. She then stuck the diapers underneath my butt and spread them out. I set myself down on the pile of cloth and anticipated their tight wrap around me once C.J. got them on. She fulfilled my anticipation and pulled the diapers up over my balls and my hard dick as tightly as she could. She waved bye-bye to my penis before she engulfed it in the thick diapers. She made sure my belly- button was covered by the high diapers, pointing out that even John's underpants didn't go as high as my diapers did.

"I look forward to when John starts wearing real diapers like you do," C.J. commented. She smiled as she starting inserting the pins into my diapers.

"I'll miss snapping his waistbands, but pinning up his diapers will be just as fun," C.J. remarked. She finished pinning my diapers on and then she topped them off with my plastic pants. I stayed in just my diapers until my Mom showed up. Before I put my pants on, I gave John a final hug goodbye. C.J. also gave me a hug and said she would miss me.

"I'll miss you, too," I said to her. In the back of my mind I was thinking about how I wish C.J. has been my sister. I almost asked her to stick her jeans-clad ass in my face and threaten me with a fart, but I didn't want to reveal that I knew about this. I wanted her to do it since I could never imagine wanting Rena to do this to me.

"It's been lots of fun," I said.

"That it has," C.J. agreed.

"Write me when you get moved in," I told John, trying my damnedest to refrain from breaking into tears.

"I will," he promised me. "We'll stay in touch. We'll always be friends, no matter what the distance."

My Mom came to the door and said goodbye to John and C.J., wishing them a safe move.

"Get your pants on, son," my Mom told me, seeing that I was still in just my diapers and my shirt. I went to John's room and put my pants on. I took one more look at John and said goodbye to him. I then walked out the door and heard it closing behind me.

The weather had turned since we had gotten out of school. The sky was clear and the sun was shining then; it was in the mid forties. As I walked to the car I noticed that the sky had become overcast. A cold wind blew across my face and pelted it with light rain droplets, or perhaps it was snow, indications of the great storm that was coming.

"Well, hopefully you'll get your old friends back," my Mom said. "I must say that you burned your bridges with them."

"I know," I said sullenly. "I wish John weren't moving. It's gonna spoil my Thanksgiving."

"Oh, don't let it do that," my Mom said, trying to make me feel better. "You'll have a nice, big meal at Grandma and Grandpa's house and then play games. At least try to have fun."

"I'll try my best," I said. I then decided to change the subject and shift my mind to other concerns, mainly my sister Julie's safety in getting home from college. She went to the University of Idaho in the town of Moscow, over 300 miles from Boise. The highway between Moscow and Boise passed through several steep and winding mountain passes and was narrow in some places. With logging trucks and RVs going through this, the only corridor that connected northern and southern Idaho, it was a dangerous trek for anyone.

As we got about a mile from home, the storm had picked up in intensity; it was definitely snow, the same snow that Julie was probably stuck driving in.

"Is Julie home yet?" I asked my Mom.

"No, but she should make it, now that's she's gotten through the mountains. She called from Horseshoe Bend (a small town about 20 miles north of Boise) and said the snow was really starting to come down once they got to Cascade. I know she doesn't like driving in snow."

After we got home I asked Mom if I should keep my pants on or take them off.

"Leave them on until Julie gets settled in," my Mom said. "Her nerves will be rattled enough just from the drive home."

"She'll have to eventually know that I wear diapers," I said to Mom.

"I know, but you know how Julie is. We don't want to surprise her too much at once."

I wanted to take my pants off since I was used to being in just my diapers and liked the fact that everyone could see that I was wearing them. But Mom was right, and I didn't really want to deal with Julie's initial reaction to finding out that I wear diapers. Unlike Rena, who liked to tease me about wearing diapers and put them on me, Julie would not take to it as well. She was always disgusted by my pooping accidents from my earlier boyhood, and the fact that I had worn several briefs together like a diaper for handling such accidents.

It was starting to get dark outside. Julie was expected any minute. She was running late and we were getting worried. Fortunately she showed up when she did. I had forgotten that a friend had ridden home with her and she had to drop her friend off at her house in Boise.

I never thought I would miss my sister, but it was good to see her when she came in the door. I even hugged her, which I could never recall the last time I did. She took a few minutes to get settled in and relaxed before going back out to her car to get her stuff. Her stuff included a large bag full of laundry.

About a half hour later I asked Mom if I should go ahead and let Julie know about my wearing diapers.

"Not yet," my Mom advised. "Wait until bedtime," she said. That was four hours from now. I really didn't like having pants on anymore and I was missing having on my much thicker diapers that were very much prohibitive for wearing pants.

Julie then decided to do her laundry. She hauled the big garbage bag of her dirty clothes out to the laundry room. When she opened up the washing machine she made the big discovery on her own that somebody was now wearing diapers.

"Mom!" Julie hollered from the laundry room. She then came out from the laundry room and came into the kitchen, where my Mom was busy making Jell-o for tomorrow's feast. Julie was holding one of my diapers up in front of her.

"Whose diapers are these?" she asked. Mom then turned to me, and without even having to say my name, Julie knew that they were my diapers.

"Danny's wearing diapers?" Julie asked, sounding surprised. Rena came into the kitchen to see what was going on now that Julie had discovered my diapers.

"Yes, dear, he's in diapers now," my Mom replied.

"What for?" Julie asked.

"I'll explain later," my Mom said.

"I'll tell her!" Rena said.

"Not now, Rena," my Mom said.

"Well, guess you don't need these now!" Rena said as she came up behind me and pulled on my pants. She quickly reached around my waist and unfastened the snap. The pressure exerted on the zipper caused my pants to slip off. Rena then pulled them down, exposing to Julie the diapers that I had on.

"I don't believe it!" Julie said. "Why is Danny wearing diapers?" Julie asked.

"Finish your laundry, dear, and I'll explain it after I get back," my Mom said as she was headed out the back door. "I need to go help your father close up."

Since the cat was out of the bag on my diapers, I decided to leave my pants off and go around in my diapers like I always did. Rena could see that my diapers were not of sufficient thickness, so while Julie resumed her laundry, Rena took me into my room and added more diapers to the set I already had on.

Rena noticed that my diapers were clean for the most part and I had only wet in them once.

"Did you just put these on awhile ago?" Rena asked me. I explained to her what I had done at John's house this afternoon, including mentioning that C.J. diapered me shortly before Mom came to pick me up.

"Well, in that case, I'll just leave these diapers on you and add some more diapers on top of them," Rena said with a smile. "C.J. sure did a good job diapering you, that's for sure."

Within minutes Rena had me back up to the usual level of eight diapers and lots of pins in each side. No doubt Julie would be shocked when she saw that I was much more heavily diapered than when she saw me before.

I decided to stay in my room and wait until Mom came home since I didn't want to have to explain to Julie why I was wearing diapers. I could hear Rena telling Julie about my friend John.

"That's disgusting!" I heard Julie through my bedroom door. "He's twelve years old and he shits himself like an overgrown baby!"

At this point I had to step in and stand up for myself, so I left my room and went out to the living room. Julie took one long look at me and noting that I was very well diapered.

"You're disgusting, Danny," she said, turning her head away from me. "At least be decent and get some pants on."

"Well, Julie, if you took a look at how thick his diapers are, you'll see that he can't wear any pants."

"My brother is wearing diapers, unbelievable," Julie said.

"Well, you do remember when I had accidents, and I wore all that underwear, you remember that?" I said to Julie.

"Yes, and I thought it was pretty sick that you did that." Julie said. "I got diarrhea, too, but you didn't see me putting on all my underwear, did you?"

"Well, no, I didn't," I said.

"You're twelve years old, Danny," Julie said.

"Closer to thirteen," I said, referring to my birthday that was coming up in three months.

"And he'll still be wearing diapers then, too," Rena said.

"So, do you like sitting in your filth, Danny?" Julie said. "I just can't imagine doing that."

"It's a boy's thing," Rena said. "Trust me, I'd never do it, either."

"Whatever it is, I'd suggest you get some help," Julie advised me. She then told me to get my diapers out of the washing machine and into the dryer since she refused to touch them.

"But they're washed," I said.

"I don't care, I'm not touching anything you've shit and pissed in," Julie said. "Remember how I hated having to move your underwear out of the washing machine? That's why, because you pooped in it all the time."

Julie then looked at me in disgust as she watched me stick my diaper-clad butt towards her while I bent over to reach down into the washing machine to pull out my diapers and then transfer them to the dryer.

"And why do you wear so many diapers?" Julie asked me, undoubtedly noticing their extreme thickness as I bent over even farther to load the dryer.

"I like them really thick," I said. "Just be glad that I have so many diapers on my butt so that you'll be further separated from what's in them."

"You are so disgusting, Danny!" Julie said. "Don't you think so?"

"No, not really," I said to Julie. "I just like to wear diapers, what's wrong with that?"

"What you're doing is not normal for anyone your age," Julie said in a critical tone of voice. "Wearing diapers, good God!" I then left the laundry room and returned to my bedroom and waited until Mom and Dad got home. Julie's cold reception of finding out that I was wearing diapers went about as I expected, and nothing I said about it would change her mind.

After Mom got home she and Julie had a talk while I sat there and listened. Julie couldn't understand the reasons why John and I liked to wear diapers, or for John, several pairs of underpants, and pee and especially poop in them until they were so full of shit. Julie was so grossed out by hearing this, so I got some pleasure from seeing her wince. Mom allowed me to explain that my desire to wear diapers came from my difficult potty training and my frequent poop accidents and how they were handled with the use of excessive underpants. Julie still wasn't able to understand or accept this behavior, but she knew there wasn't much she could do about it at this point. For the rest of the evening she tried to ignore the fact that I wore diapers, but my lily- white diapered butt that stood out ever so conspicuously made it impossible for Julie not to acknowledge her brother's strange behavior.

Mom didn't tell Julie that Rena often handled my diaper changes. Mom had likewise advised Rena not to mention this since Julie was having a hard enough time as it was to accept this aberrant behavior of her brother. Because of this, Mom took care of my diaper change before I went to bed that night. I went around for another couple hours or so in my freshly changed diapers before I went to bed. During this time I watched TV and played some Atari games until the news came on before relinquishing the TV to my parents. Rena joined me in playing games. Julie looked at me every now and then, showing her lack of accepting the fact that I was wearing diapers.

"What do you think of this, Rena?" Julie asked Rena while pointing to me sitting there in diapers. "What do you think of Danny wearing diapers?"

"I think he looks cute in them," Rena said as she leaned back and looked at my diapered butt while I concentrated on playing my game. "I also think it's funny that Danny has to go to the bathroom in diapers from now on."

"I think it's gross," Julie said. "Doesn't that just disgust you? Sitting there in your own filth all day?"

"Oh, come on, Julie," Rena said. "It isn't any different than him being in his underwear, which we're all used to seeing anyway."

"It's not the diapers themselves that bothers me," Julie said. "It's the fact that he's using them. How many twelve-year-olds do you know who wear diapers?"

"There was a kid in my fourth grade class who wore diapers," Rena said. Granted, the kid would have only been nine or ten, but still. I asked Rena what she knew about him.

"He always smelled like pee and poop and kids made fun of him," Rena said. "His diapers always showed, no matter what he did to try to hide them. He was always pulling up on his pants and telling kids to knock it off," Rena answered. I wish I knew who this kid was. It sounded like he was in need of a friend at the time. At least by her saying "he" I knew that she was referring to a boy.

"Is that what you want kids doing to you at school?" Julie asked me.

"They already do, and they make fun of me for everything else, anyway," I said. Julie then left at that point. She didn't say another word to me before I went to bed that night.

WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN: PART 24- Thanksgiving -------------------------------------------

Thanksgiving Day had arrived. Every year I woke up on Thanksgiving morning I remembered the years before when I would wake up on a Thursday morning for the first time since summer and not have to worry about going to school. I thought about the big feast we would be enjoying at my Grandparents' house later that day. My pleasant thoughts were tainted somewhat by knowing that John was leaving after today and that I would be without any friends at that point.

For the second time since I began wearing diapers full time I wet my diapers in my sleep. I figured that this came from the fact that I drank three cans of soda last night while watching TV and playing Atari games with Rena. I wasn't sure if or when to tell Mom that I was beginning to wet at night more often now. I figured if I told her this she would blame it on my full-time diaper wearing and take away my diapers. I decided to keep quiet about it for now.

I looked outside my window. It must have snowed all night! About six to eight inches of snow had accumulated on my windowsill. I continued to lie in my bed and entertain my morning wood through my diapers, which was brought on by thinking back to all the things that John and me did together. Soon I was jacking off in my soaked diapers as I envisioned John showing me his butt clad in five dozen pairs of underwear, leaving me to guess if he had pooped in them or not, no way to tell when he has even half that much underwear on. I also thought about C.J. farting in my face. God, how I would miss him, and C.J. I usually didn't have this good of an orgasm in the morning, but with fresh thoughts of John on my mind it was easy to bring myself to such high arousal after waking up.

I then got out of bed and went out to the living room to sit by the heater. After I got myself warmed up I went over to the TV to watch "The Price is Right." Instead there was a parade on TV, so that spoiled my plans to watch my favorite game show that I could only watch during the summer, Christmas break and spring break otherwise.

After this I went into the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. Mom was busy preparing a couple dishes to take over to my grandparents' house. She looked at my diapers and she could see that they were wet. She decided that this was as good of time as any to change me. After I finished my hot chocolate she took me into my room and took my wet diapers off.

"Only wet this time, I see," Mom said. After she cleaned me up she sent me to the bathroom to take my shower, advising me to conserve the hot water for Julie and Dad. Dad was busy shoveling snow in the driveway and would take his shower when he finished. Julie hadn't even gotten out of bed, let alone showered yet. I walked from my bedroom and through the kitchen on my way to the bathroom totally naked. Rena laughed as she stared at my naked butt.

"His butt looks cute when it's not covered in poop," Rena commented.

I came out of the shower a few minutes later, having nothing to wear as I walked back to my bedroom. At least this time Rena didn't see me as she had gone outside to play in the snow. Mom came into my bedroom and diapered me again, though not as heavily since I would need to put my pants on later, before going to my grandparents' house.

"When are we leaving for Grandma and Grandpa's house?" I asked my Mom.

"We'll be leaving in about an hour," Mom said. I thought this sounded early.

"It's going to take us awhile to get to your grandparents' house with the way the roads are," Mom explained. I asked her if I could have my pants so I could go play in the snow with Rena.

"No, because then you'll get your pants wet, and they're the only pants you have," Mom said. I even offered to help Dad shovel the snow, but Dad had finished up by this time and was in the shower now. I was stuck inside the house, unable to play in the snow because all I had to wear were my diapers. Meanwhile, Rena was busy in the front yard making a snowman. When she came back in the house to warm up, she teased me about being unable to join her in playing in the snow outside.

"Danny's got no pants on, Danny's got no pants on," Rena repeated as she prepared a cup of hot chocolate for herself. "You can't play out-si-ide, you can't play out-si-ide."

"Be quiet, Rena," I said to her.

"Well, brother, that's what you get for getting put in diapers," she said.

Julie woke up at about 9:45 that morning. Having gotten out of the shower a few minutes ago, I felt chilled, especially since I had no pants on. I was keeping myself warm by the heater again and enjoying a second cup of hot chocolate while reading the daily newspaper comics. I was also going through the mountain of department store ads for all their big sales to look for pictures of boys modeling underwear. I was lying on the floor with my diapered rear end sticking up. I could tell that this caught Julie's attention as she went past me. She went into the shower after Dad left the bathroom.

At about 10:30 we were ready to leave. Mom gave me my pants after she started up the car to warm it up. Mom also grabbed a plastic grocery bag and stuffed several diapers, wipes and other supplies into it so that I would have diapers available to me for changing at my grandparents' house. She also brought along another plastic bag to put my dirty diapers in.

We all piled into the car and left for my grandparents' house in the town of Caldwell, about 25 miles from Boise. It normally took a little over a half hour to get there, but my Dad estimated it would take at least an hour with the way the roads were.

As we slowly made our way through the blinding snowstorm, Julie kept herself occupied with a copy of People magazine and her Walkman. I could tell she was listening to "Synchronicity" by the Police. At least she was leaving me alone. Rena and I kept to ourselves for the most part during the seemingly eternally long drive. I was too fascinated by the heavy snowstorm to preoccupy myself with anything else, so I watched the road ahead the whole time Dad was driving. I had wet my diapers during that time while Rena complained that she needed to go to the bathroom.

"We'll be there shortly," Mom assured Rena. How nice it was to wear diapers, I thought. What seemed odd was the fact that I had wet my diapers and not even realized the need to go until I sensed the familiar sensation of warm piss splashing down to my balls and soaking into the front of my diaper. The feeling gave me a hard-on.

We literally went over the river and through the woods to get to my grandparents' house, that is, if you count driving by the Caldwell Municipal Park as "the woods." Julie had since then taken off her headphones and set her magazine down as we were nearing my grandparents' house.

"Do Grandma and Grandpa know Danny wears diapers?" Julie asked my Mom.

"Yes, they know," my Mom said.

"How did they find out? What did they say? What do they think of it? Are they going to let us come over?"

"Yes, Julie, everything's fine, so will you stop worrying about what Grandma and Grandpa will think?"

"What did they say when they found out?" Julie asked.

"They found out on my birthday. I tried to get Danny to not wear diapers for just that one day, but no-o-o, he had to poop his pants so he could get his diapers back, which he did. Grandma and Grandpa really weren't all that surprised since they knew about all of Danny's accidents."

"I just hope they're not embarrassed about it," Julie said, being the worrywart that she is.

"If anything, I'm the one who should be embarrassed," my Mom said. "At least it gives me something to talk about with Bonnie when she tells me how hard Josh and Jake are being with potty training," my Mom added, referring to one of her friends whose twin boys were just about to turn three and were still in diapers. Big deal, I was four years old before I was potty trained, and who's to say that potty training means no more diapers? I'm living proof of the contrary.

We finally arrived at my grandparents' house. They were glad to see that we arrived safely. I walked in and smelled the aroma of turkey and rolls and other food that Grandma had been busy making for us. Rena headed straight for the bathroom. As for me, I wet my diapers again just as I settled down and waited for the food to be served.

While waiting for the dinner to start I went to my grandma's photo albums and thumbed through them. Grandma had more pictures of me in my diapers when I was little than my Mom did, so every time we came over to their house I would always look at pictures of me in diapers. Every time I looked at them for as long as I could remember it always gave me a hard-on to look at the huge, bulky thick cloth diapers that my Mom used on me. Disposable diapers were available then, and they were a fairly new concept then, but my Mom came from the old school of parenting.

About twenty minutes later the food was out on the table and dinner was ready to eat. After Grandpa said the blessing we sat down and enjoyed a big meal of turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, buttered rolls and lots of other fine food. I went back for seconds and filled my plate again with equal portions of what I had the first time around. I stuffed myself and I couldn't eat another bite after that.

After I put away two helpings of my Grandma's most excellent cooking I sat in my Grandpa's easy chair and thumbed through his copies of National Geographic. I hoped that reading the magazines would take my mind off of John, but I couldn't shut it out of my mind that he was going to be gone tomorrow. It didn't help that there was an article in National Geographic about Astoria, Oregon.

Then the tryptophan from the turkey kicked in and I started feeling sleepy. This, compounded by the depressed feelings that I was having over John's leaving, made me too tired to even want to stay awake. I needed a nap, so I went into the guest bedroom and lay down on the bed. Mom promised to come wake me for dessert if I hadn't already awakened by the time it was ready.

I had only slept for about forty-five minutes or so. I lay down on the bed, fully dressed. I didn't pull back the covers. When I woke up I felt a cool draft brushing over my legs. I then quickly realized that someone had taken off my pants while I was asleep! All I had on were my diapers and my shirt and socks. I really must have been out of it for someone to have taken my pants off of me while I was asleep. I figured it had to have been Rena. Julie would have never done this.

I got up from the bed and looked around the room to see if my pants had been stashed somewhere. They weren't on the floor or under the bed. I looked in the closets and in the drawers, nothing! I felt silly being in my grandparents' house without any pants on. I decided to wait until Mom came to the room to tell me that dessert was ready.

While I was sitting there I felt a huge bowel movement about to emerge. It was going to be wet and runny, calling for some good diapering to catch it. Being that I was only diapered enough to still allow for my pants, I didn't feel as secure in the diapers I had on. Instantly the poop came out and filled my diapers from the top of my butt crack all the way to my dick. At the same time I had to pee, so I also wet in the diapers. After I finished eliminating my wastes I lay back down on the bed after checking to make sure my diapers weren't leaking onto the impeccably clean bedspread that was on the guest bed.

About ten minutes later my Mom knocked on the door and slowly opened the door.

"You awake, Danny?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I said.

"Dessert's ready," Mom announced. She then left.

"Wait, Mom? Mom!" I called for her. She came back in the room. Mom looked at me sitting up on the bed wearing just my diapers, which was nothing unusual now for my Mom to see. She must have figured I took my pants off before taking my nap since she didn't question the fact that I didn't have them on.

"Where are my pants?" I asked my Mom.

"I dunno," my Mom said. "You took them off, obviously."

"Actually, I didn't," I said. "Rena must have come in here and took them off while I was sleeping."

Mom sighed, agreeing that Rena was probably the culprit.

"Can you find out what she did with them?" I asked Mom.

"In a minute," my Mom said as she took a whiff of the air and detected the foul state of my diapers. "You need to be changed anyway, so there's no point putting your pants back on now. I'll go get your diapers."

Mom came back into the room a few minutes later with some clean diapers. She also brought a towel from the bathroom for me to sit on while Mom took off my diapers in order to protect the bedspread.

"I told Rena to get your pants," my Mom said as she pulled off my plastic pants.

"Thanks," I replied. Rena came to the room and tossed my pants to me.

"Very funny, Rena, very funny," I said to Rena.

"I figured you'd sleep more comfortably without your pants," Rena said. I knew damn well this wasn't her intent. She just wanted to make me go around in just my diapers at my grandparents' house.

"Since you didn't wake me while you took them off, I was sleeping just fine," I replied. Rena then left the room and ignored my comment. Mom cleaned me up and diapered me in clean diapers. I then put my pants off before I left the room and joined the others in eating some of grandma's apple and pumpkin pie.

Julie had brought over the Trivial Pursuit game from home, so she, Rena and I gathered around the table and started a game. Twenty minutes later I unloaded another big load into my diapers. This one was messy and I could even feel the gooey poop leak into my pants. Julie then smelled it and complained about the odor as well as the fact that I was wearing diapers in the first place.

"Danny, go get your diaper changed," Julie said, expressing her obvious objections to my wearing diapers. Rena then started giggling.

"I'll be okay for awhile," I said. Julie then continued the game for a few minutes. After we went around a couple more times, Julie complained again, plugging her nose.

"Danny, get your diaper changed!" Julie insisted while holding her hand to her mouth as if to puke. "I can't stand the way you smell!"

Julie then got up and went to Mom to tell her that I stank and needed to be changed. Mom asked me if I needed to be changed again and I told her yes.

"Do you have the runs?" Mom asked me. I told her that I did. With this, she took me back into the guest bedroom. She told me to take my pants off and then sit down on the towel on the bed. She then brought out a stack that was over twice as thick as the diapers I had on now.

"Are you going to put all those diapers on me?" I asked my Mom as I eyed the big stack.

"Yes, I think it would be best for now since you have the runs," my Mom said. "You'll need the extra protection."

"But what about my pants?" I asked, knowing that my pants would not fit over the big bunch of diapers that was about to get pinned up around me.

"I'm afraid you'll have to do without them," Mom answered plainly. "Since you have the runs and I'll have to change you more often, your pants will just be a nuisance anyway. Besides, your diaper leaked and your pants need to be washed. That's why I'm putting additional diapers on you."

With no further ado my Mom unpinned the dirty diapers and pulled them off of me. She wiped my bottom clean and then powdered me up before applying the bulky bunch of diapers. They were neatly and tightly pinned up as Mom was very adept at doing. She put my plastic pants on and then took my pants with her along with the dirty diapers to take them to the washing machine.

Hesitantly I emerged from the guest bedroom and came up the hallway, making my appearance in just my diapers before everyone in the front room. Rena laughed and was obviously satisfied to see that I would be going around in just my very thick diapers as she had intended to make me do after I got up from my nap. Everyone else, including my grandparents, understood the reason I had no pants on after my Mom explained.

Julie was embarrassed to see me in my diapers as I expected.

"Aww, Danny, get some pants on!" Julie insisted. "I can't believe it, you're at your Grandma and Grandpa's house and you're indecent!"

"Julie, it's okay," Mom assured her. "His pants got dirty, and I diapered him extra thick since he has the runs, so he can't wear them anyway."

Julie just sighed and then rolled her eyes as I took my seat.

"Is it my turn?" I asked as I picked up the dice.

"Yes," Julie groaned.

"I go around like this all the time," I told Julie.

"He's right," Rena said. "Every day after he gets home from school, it's pants off and diapers on. Lots of diapers on, too, more than what he has on now. I'd get used to it when you come home for Christmas," Rena advised Julie.

We resumed the game and I moved my game piece. Julie read me the question and I got it right. While we were playing Grandpa took a picture of us. My bare leg and my diapers would be plainly visible from underneath the table in the picture. Grandpa then joined us in the middle of the game. I messed my diapers some more during the game, but I didn't get changed until just before we left. Mom took the diapers that had been washed and dried and put them on me. Again, she diapered me thickly enough to keep my pants off, seeing that I still had the runs.

The snow started to pick up after having tapered off for most of the day. The short afternoon daylight was beginning to fade as the gray-white sky turned to light bluish tints and then to increasingly darker shades of blue. It was time for us to go back home. It was a cold walk to the car parked out on the side of the street, while wearing just my diapers.

The drive home seemed even longer than the drive coming over. Everyone was tired and stuffed from eating lots of food. Julie complained about my diaper odors and she even opened her window a crack.

"It's getting cold in here," Rena complained.

"I'd rather freeze than smell Danny's dirty diapers!" Julie said. After Mom told her to put her window up Julie finally did, forcing her to endure the stench of my soiled diapers until we finally got back home.

WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN: PART 25- Old Friends Never Die ----------------------------------------------------

The harsh reality of John's departure early Friday morning struck me harder than I was prepared for. I woke up the day after Thanksgiving thinking about him, wishing he were there in my bed with me with his padded-up butt pressed up against me. I closed my eyes and envisioned the sight of his underpants stacked so heavily over his butt. As I reminisced about our countless, albeit short-lived fun times together, I jacked off in my wet and soiled diapers before I got out of bed.

I went out to the living room and sat in front of the heater. After I was warmed up I went to the kitchen and made a cup of hot chocolate. I had the house to myself that morning since Rena went with Julie to go shopping at all the big after-Thanksgiving sales. They had already left by the time I was up.

I needed to have my diapers changed, and since Rena wasn't around to do it I called Mom to ask her if she could come over from the store to change me.

"I'll be over as soon as I can," my Mom said. "Things are a little busy right now."

A few minutes after I called my Mom I saw a big U-Haul truck pull up in front of the house. I looked out the front window and saw John, C.J. and his Mom come piling out of it. I had a faint hope that perhaps they were going to tell me that they changed their mind and decided to stay, but I knew this wasn't the case. It was just a fleeting thought.

John rang the doorbell and I opened the door to let him and the others in.

"Hello," I said to him as I greeted him in just my diapers.

"Hi," John said. I could tell from the look on his face that he was feeling just as melancholy as I was on having to move away.

"Just thought we'd stop by to see you before we take off for Portland," John said. "It's over 400 miles away, my Mom says, and we'll be on the road all day, especially if it's snowing all the way there."

"Where's your Dad?" I asked John.

"He's staying behind to get things closed up at the shop before he hands over the keys to the new owner."

"What's going in the new store?" I asked John.

"A furniture store," John replied glumly. "I'm gonna miss that place so much."

"I know what you mean," I said. "What did you guys to with all the underwear?"

"We threw it out," John said. "I only took the white pairs that fit me, so we threw the rest of it out. Another secondhand store bought up the rest of the inventory."

John and I talked for a couple minutes more before his mother told him that they should get going. I gave John a big bug. I could feel his thick underpants underneath his jeans while I had my arms around him. He took advantage of the situation as well and put his hands on my diapers.

"I promise to write as soon as we get settled in," John told me as he and I released our embrace.

"Thanks, I'll look forward to hearing from you," I said as I wiped away a tear. C.J. gave me a hug, as did John's mother.

"Goodbye," I said to them one last time as they trudged out into the snow-covered driveway, leaving behind them what would likely be their very last footprints within the state of Idaho. I went back to the front window and watched them climb into the truck. John was sitting on the passenger's side facing me. I waved goodbye to him and he reciprocated just as the truck took off. I watched the orange truck fade into the white blur of the snowfall as they headed down the street.

"He's gone," I thought to myself. I felt so isolated and so empty now. I knew I couldn't make any new friends with any of the people that I went to school with since I had an unpopular reputation, only exacerbated by the fact that I wore diapers now. I had no choice but to go out and make amends with the friends that I had before I abandoned them in favor of John. Hopefully Mom would let me have my pants when she came over to change my diapers.

When Mom finally showed up after 11:00 that morning she saw that I was feeling upset. She joined me on the couch and held me to comfort me.

"I have no friends now," I sobbed, trying to remain as composed as I could.

"Let it out, son," my Mom said. "There's no reason that you can't cry over something like this."

After Mom gave me a few minutes to let my feelings out I asked her if she had time to talk.

"Sure," my Mom said. "Donna came in at 11:00 so she can cover for me. What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, now that John's gone and I don't have any friends who wear diapers-- or friends period, for that matter-- do you still want me to wear diapers?"

"I think at this point, son, after what I put you through to help you think about what you were doing, I want to leave that decision up to you."

"Well, I'd like to wear them still, if I can," I asked my Mom humbly.

"That's fine," my Mom said. "We're all used to it now, so there's no reason we should expect you to change just because you don't have John here to enjoy it with you."

"What about school?" I asked. "I'm not sure if I want to wear diapers to school without at least having John there."

"You've already burned your bridge on that one," my Mom said. "Even if you showed up Monday morning wearing underwear, nobody will ever forget that you've worn diapers."

I felt I had nothing more to lose at this point and I hated everyone else at school anyway, so after thinking about it I told my Mom that I would continue wearing diapers to school and put up with the teasing like I have grown accustomed to. Mom agreed that if this was what I wanted to do, this was fine and she would continue to change my diapers in the morning until I felt like handling my own diaper changes.

"Is Julie getting any better about me wearing diapers?" I asked my Mom.

"I had a talk with her last night and told her why you wear them. I think she'll come to accept it eventually, but just give her time. She's only going to be here through tomorrow before she has to head back to school. By Christmas I think she will have adjusted."

I figured that now was as good of time as any to tell my Mom about having wet the bed occasionally.

"Umm, Mom, there's something else I need to tell you," I said. Mom waited patiently as I prepared to make my big revelation.

"Ever since I started wearing diapers, I've wet the bed a couple times." There, I said it. It was a relief to get it out in the open, but I was still feeling anxious, as I didn't know what my Mom would say to this.

"How often does it happen?" Mom asked me.

"Just a couple times so far," I said. "It may have to do with the fact that I'm wearing diapers."

"Then you may want to reconsider your choice to wear them. After awhile it may no longer be a choice."

"Well, I like to wear diapers, I can't help it," I told my Mom.

"Are you happy with the fact that you like to wear diapers?" Mom asked me.

"For the most part," I said. "But at times I feel guilty."

"Well, just don't drink a lot of fluids at night and see how things go for the time being," my Mom advised me. At this point she led me into my room to change my diapers. During the diaper change I asked my Mom if I could have my pants so I could visit Justin. Mom agreed and decided that this was a good idea since she knew I was in need of getting some old friends back.

After Mom changed my diapers I put my pants on as well as my shoes. I then put on my coat and left the house. The heavy snow had already erased most of the tracks John and his family had left in the driveway just a short while ago. The disappearance of their footprints seemed strangely symbolic to me by the way I was feeling.

I ventured out into the falling snow and made my way to Justin's house. It was cold and the snow was hitting me in the face, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get to Justin's house and hope that he would welcome me back.

I approached his house and hesitated before walking up to the front door. I nervously pressed the doorbell and waited for someone to answer. Justin's mother appeared at the door, her hair in curlers.

"Well, hello, Danny!" she said. "I take it you would like to talk to Justin."

"Yeah, that's what I came over for," I said sullenly.

"Well, come in, we're not heating the whole neighborhood," his mother said as she didn't like me standing there with the door open.

I looked around the front room. Gina, Lori and Kathy greeted me as did Christopher. He was running around in his underwear as usual. It was no surprise that they were brown-stained in the back. I thought he should start wearing his underwear in multiples, too.

"Nice diapers, Danny," Lori said as she could tell from the bulge in my pants. Upon taking my coat off, the three girls could see that my diapers stuck out above my pants. In the meantime, Justin's Mom went down the hall to let him know that I was here. Justin came out of his room a couple minutes later.

"Hi," I said to him nervously. He greeted me back. I felt so awkward and I didn't know what to say.

"Uhh, you wanna talk?" I asked him.

"Let's go out back," he said. I figured as long as he wasn't asking me to leave then things were going okay. I followed Justin to the back yard where we sat on the porch for cover from the snow.

It took a little while to break the ice. I asked Justin what he had been doing since I had been hanging around with John.

"Not much," Justin said. "Haven't had any real friends lately," he lamented.

"What about Kurt?"

"Shit, forget about Kurt!" Justin said. "He hangs around with Nick and Loren, and neither of them like me."

"What have you and John been up to?" Justin asked me.

"We had sleepovers and did most of the things you and I always did," I said, obviously omitting the activities that involved pissing, shitting and jacking off in our underwear/diapers. Justin didn't have much to say since he hadn't been friends with anybody else. I felt sorry for him and I felt guilty about shunning him in favor of John.

"So why did you come over to talk to me?" Justin asked.

"Well, John's moving. In fact, he left this morning, so I don't have any friends right now, either."

I then paused for a moment and looked at Justin as I thought about what I was going to say, then, with nervous, broken speech, I told Justin why I came over.

I'm here to see if you want to be friends again," I asked Justin. Justin only hesitated for a couple seconds and then he extended his hand. We shook hands and thus renewed our friendship.

"Welcome back," I said to him. "Maybe you can come over to my house."

"I'll ask my Mom," Justin said as he and I went back into the house. His Mom gave him permission to go over to my house with me. While we walked over there Justin asked me if I was still wearing diapers.

"Yeah, of course I am," I said as I lifted my shirt and let him see the thick white fabric sticking up above my pants. "Didn't you notice?"

"Nah, I don't look at guys in those places much," Justin said. I had a feeling he did, just like all other twelve-year-old hormone- laden, sexually curious boys. He didn't want to admit it, and that was fine. Justin did, however, ask me why I liked to wear them. I told him about my experiences with late toilet training and the poop accidents that I continued to have for several years after that. I mentioned getting put into several pairs of underpants and getting teased by Rena and Julie for it. I explained how these experiences all culminated into the diaper fetish that I now exhibited. Justin listened and asked a couple questions this time.

Justin also revealed to me that he used to wet the bed and was put into diapers every night until he was eight years old. He also told me that it was a very unpleasant and painful experience for him since he was always spanked in front of everyone for wetting his bed. I didn't press for any further discussion on this as I could tell that Justin wasn't comfortable with it.

"Don't tell anybody that, you got that?" Justin said, emphasizing his point. I fully agreed to maintain my silence especially as I didn't want to jeopardize our newly re-established friendship.

I figured these experiences would have led Justin to having a diaper fetish and I hoped he would want to try wearing one when we had a sleepover. Perhaps I could test his feelings on wearing diapers. Justin and I returned to my house and we went into my room. For now I showed Justin the pictures of John and me, as well as the drawings and stories that John and I produced. Justin didn't respond to these with much enthusiasm.

"I still think you're weird for liking to wear diapers and drawing pictures and stuff," Justin said.

"I don't expect you to understand why I like to wear diapers, I just do," I told him. "Just as long as I can wear my diapers around you during sleepovers."

"That's fine," Justin said.

"Can I wear them around at your house, too?" I asked him.

"As long as you don't mind my sisters teasing you," Justin said.

"You know, I kind of like it when I get that kind of attention from your sisters for wearing diapers," I confessed to Justin. "Let them tease me, I'm used to it from my own sisters."

"You're not just weird, you're really weird," Justin amended his previous comments. I think he was just happy that I was his friend again. Justin and I then decided to play Atari games and then play in the snow later on. I decided that it was best to just leave my diaper interests out of my friendship with Justin altogether

I concluded that Justin simply did not share my feelings for diapers, although he accepted the fact that I liked to wear them and he assured me that he would not let this difference interfere with our friendship. Still, I'd miss doing all the things that I did with John.

John sent me a letter after he got settled in. No matter how many times I read it, it brings fond memories of him to mind. All around the border he drew alternating pairs of underwear with the front (fkly front) and the rear (double seat) with varying stripes and patterns in red, blue and black on the waistbands. Here's what he wrote in the letter:

Friday, December 9, 1983

Hey Danny!

Well, we're moved in now. I got everything unpacked and put away in my room, including my diaper drawers, which used to be my underwear drawers. More on that later. Dad got the shop closed and he came up here about a week after we got here. We live in Hillsboro, which is a suburb of Portland. It's really beautiful here. There's lots of trees and hills and you can see the city skyline and Mt. Hood in the distance. It isn't as cold and snowy here as it is there, lots of rain, though. I wish you were here.

Mom got rid of all my underwear and now I'm wearing real diapers just like you do. I still miss some of the things that I liked about my underwear, such as the waistbands and the fly fronts, but I love how much thicker and softer my diapers are! The crotch is wider, and like my underwear, you can wear several diapers at a time, too. C.J. uses lots of pins in my diapers! She wishes I had been wearing diapers all this time since she thinks putting diapers on me is lots more fun.

I've met a couple of friends here, and they wear diapers, too. They only wear disposable diapers and they don't go around in just their diapers all day like I do, just at bedtime, but they feel a lot better about wearing diapers after they found out that I wear them, too. I hope you have found some more friends, too.

Well, I have lots of homework to do, but I will be sure to write again. Please write me back when you can!

Your friend (in REAL diapers) forever,

John

John and I continued to write back and forth over the next year or so, but then eventually we ran out of things to talk about and the letter writing eventually died out and I never heard from John again. Wherever he is today, I hope he is happy and healthy and enjoying life. He will always live in my heart and in the best of my childhood memories.

Most of all, I came to the conclusion that there are some things in life that are more important than sharing the pleasure of wearing diapers with another. I learned that your real friends are those who, in spite of separation and having a significant personality difference or two, are people who will come back to you and accept you for who you are.

I also got Justin's little brother, Christopher, to wear multiple underpants. I enlisted the help of Justin's sister Lori, whom I always had a crush on and enjoyed having her see me in my diapers. As far as Justin and the rest of his family was concerned, it was Lori's idea to make Christopher wear multiple pairs of underwear. She didn't go easy on him, either, so I was impressed to see him padded up in over 30 pairs of underwear every time I was there. I helped Christopher to accept and enjoy his "diapers" in ways that I felt were appropriate for his age. I shared stories and drawings with him and told him how great it was to be a boy, because girls don't get to or want to wear lots of underwear or poop in it. I knew that he'd be jacking off in his diapers or underwear, too, once he got to be a little older.

I also got Lori to stick her jeans-clad ass in my face and threaten to fart whenever Justin wasn't around. No surprise that on nights that their family was having sour cream enchiladas, that she made good on her "threat". She started doing the same thing to Christopher, but he didn't appreciate her doing this. Again, someday, he probably would.

Kurt, likewise, also asked me for my friendship again after his two friends Nick and Loren each moved away just before Christmas. Loren moved to live with his mom in Texas, and Nick went back to North Dakota, which was where he had lived before his dad's job as a radio advertising sales representative, brought him here. Kurt never understood my desire for diapers, either, but, in the true spirit of friendship, he didn't let this stand between us.

Julie was more at ease about the fact that I was wearing diapers when she returned for Christmas. Eventually the rest of my family learned of my diaper-wearing, including my relatives from Seattle who came to visit over Christmas. While my aunt and uncle were slow to accept it as was my cousin John, my cousin Connie joined Rena in her amusement over seeing me in diapers all the time. Connie even got to change me a couple times during her visit.

As for me, I continued wearing diapers full time, including to school. After school and on weekends I never wore pants over my diapers except whenever I left the house. I never used a toilet again. My nighttime wetting began to increase in frequency and eventually I was waking up in wet diapers seven days a week. I also started wetting in the daytime without having any bladder control. Likewise, my bowel control yielded to my constant state of being diapered. I began diapering myself after my fifteenth birthday at the suggestion of my mother. I was starting to look less like a boy and more like an adult by the time I reached that age. In spite of my Mom's and Dad's objections to allowing this to happen to me, they always told me that it was my decision to either continue wearing diapers, or try to toilet train myself again. The day I left for college, I took my diapers with me. Likewise, I had diapers on beneath my graduation gown on the day I picked up my high school diploma.

*** THE END***

----------------------------------------------------------------------- Questions and/or comments are welcome at yobrepaid@hotmail.com .

I am also on Skype at Deeker80. Sorry, but I'm not on Facebook.

Please also visit my Deviant Art page: http://undiesboy.deviantart.com/

You are also invited to participate in my polls at the following:

http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/523527 (Pre-Teen/Teen Diaper Boy Survey-6 parts)

http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/557794 (Survey for Girls With Diaper- Wearing Brothers-10 parts)

http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/559494 Survey For Wearers of Multiple Pairs of White Underwear (Preteen Boyhood)