Disclaimer:
This story is partially true and is loosely based on my life. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. If you are interested in reading a real love story and not just a graphic sex story, then this is the story for you. This is my first attempt at writing, so suggestions will be greatly appreciated. I will enjoy hearing from each of you and will answer all emails. Please let me know what you think of if you feel that I should continue.
Note: To all of my faithful readers and fans. Thank you for the all of the kind emails that you sent me, encouraging me to continue writing. I'd especially like to thank my boy, Clayton, for all of the editing. This is only the first part of chapter 8. 8b will be uploaded in about a week.
Email me at Khaymanrice@aol.com
Chapter 8a
The damned phone ringing and the light shining brightly through the bedroom windows caused me to wake, squinting my eyes and wanting to cover my aching head. "Damn, my head hurt!" I thought to myself. As I turned over, I looked straight in to Keni's eyes. He was sitting in his computer chair, staring at me. We locked eyes for a few minutes then I ask him if he was going to answer the phone. His eyes slowly moved from me to the phone on his night stand then back to me. I guess he wasn't going to answer it. I reaching over and picked up the receiver.
"Hello?" I asked hoarsely into the phone. My head was killing me and he was still staring at me, making me more and more nervous by the moment. "Oh, hey, Mom." I said, barely loud enough to hear. I looked at the clock on the nightstand and why was she calling so early. "How is everything?" She'd said that everything was great, that she and dad were having a good time and that she wanted to know how the party went last night. "Everything was great. Everybody had a good time." I looked at Keni and he was still looking at me. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him now that I was more acutely aware that he was watching me. I hated lying to my mom but I had to get off of the phone and face the music with Keni. "Mom, I don't feel well; can I call you back a little later?" I asked her. Wrong thing to say! She really began to worry. It took all that I had to ease her mind, that I'd be alright and that she and dad should just have a good time. "It's only a stomach ache; I'll be fine. All I really need is some more sleep." I told her. She'd asked about Keni and I told her that he was still asleep. "I'll call you later, Mom. You have a nice weekend. Bye". Boy, that was hard as hell.
I reached over and hung up the phone. I turned back to Keni. "What's wrong, man?" I asked him.
"Why are you in my bed?" He asked with a expressionless look plastered on his face.
"I don't know, man. I came in last night to talk to you after everybody left and you were asleep. I guess I just wanted to be with you." I sat there quietly for a moment. Both of us looking at each other. "I know I fucked up big time and you probably don't wanna forgive me for what I put you through, but you are my brother, man. You are a part of me, and I love you so much and don't wanna do anything to damage our relationship. I mean, I know you were hurt when you left my room last night and so was I." I paused a minute, again letting it sink in, then said, "Please try and understand! I don't know how it happened. It fucked me up, too. I know I wasn't being honest with you about what's going on between Nick and me, but it wasn't like an easy thing to admit to myself, much less you, or anyone else that I'm gay or bi or whatever."
For the longest moment, we looked at each other. Our eyes locked. My bruh and I have been close all of our lives, but for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything to say. I was speechless and seemingly, so was he for what seemed like an eternity.
Finally, not being able to stand it, I finally spoke. "Come on, man. Say something, anything. Just talk to me, Keni, please?"
Raising both hands in the air, indicating his frustration. "What do you want me to say, Z?' He said. "Say that I'm happy about what you're doing? Whatever I say, is it gonna make you to change your mind? I mean, come on. This shit's not you. You know and I know it. You like girls. I've seen you with them. Hell, we've swapped and shared them and I saw how you were digging that shit, but now you trying to tell me that you prefer to suck dick? Come on, you gotta come better than that. Be for real."
"I'm being for real, Keni. It's not as simple as you're making it out to be." I said. I had to calm myself. I know he wasn't trying to be mean or anything. "Like I told you, I don't know how the hell it happened or why it's happening to me. All I know is that it's happened and I'm just as confused about it as you. All I can tell you is that I dig him. I dig him a helluva lot." The tears began to run down my face and I couldn't stop my voice from shaking.
"Well, maybe you're just confused or experimenting or something. From what I know about homosexuality, it just doesn't happen overnight. Does it?"
I shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. I know what you're saying, but maybe it's been in me all along. Hell, I don't know. All I know is that it's happened and I'm not ashamed about it."
We sat quietly again for a moment. He was in deep thought, then he said, "Let me ask you a question. You and dude done anything yet?"
"Yeah." I answered, feeling a little better.
"A little or a lot?" He asked, looking like he was about to be ill or cry. I'm not sure which.
"A lot. A whole lot."
"And you really like dat shit?" He asked. An unbelievable expression was plastered on his face.
"Actually, yeah, I did. I mean, it was odd at first, but it turned out to be ok. More intense than anything I ever felt before."
"Well, I'll take your word for it." He said, then took a deep breath and asked, "Did he talk you into it or was it your idea?"
"It was pretty much a mutual thing. He did me and I did him. He sucked me; I sucked him." I answered freely, more freely than I would have imagined.
"GEEZ!" He sorta yelled out, looking faint. "I didn't really need to know all of that." He sat up and thought on it for a few minutes. I sat paralyzed, looking at him. I don't know why I so wanted him to accept me now. All of a sudden, he burst out laughing. The more I looked at him, the more he laughed. I started to get pissed, then he held up his hand. "Don't get mad, man. I'm not laughing at you, just the situation."
I sorta had to laugh and then the next thing I know, we were both laughing.
"Listen, Z. You're my bruh and in spite of the fact that you wanna slob on some dudes dick, I still love you. I gotta be honest with you. I can't say that I understand it or that I'm happy about it, but, you know, it's your life, and if you're happy and feel that this is your calling, then, hey, what can I say? I'm cool with it, but you gotta know that if this shit gets out, it's not gonna be that easy for you and dude. Hold it!" He said, as if he just had an epiphany. "Suppose dudes begin hitting on me and shit, thinking I'm you? What am I gonna do?"
"Keni, stop making this about you. It's about me. Chill out." I said.
"But we're twins and mirror-image twins at that. We look exactly alike, Z. Dudes can easily mistake me for you."
"Yeah, but that's not gonna happen. I'm not gonna go out and do things to call attention to myself like that. I have more respect for myself. So does Nick. I am into only one dude and that's Nick. No one else, so don't worry. He's it for me."
"You sure?" He asked.
"Yeah, I am. 100% sure."
"Whew! I'm glad to hear that. I would hate the thought of having to fight guys to protect your honor."
"Fuck you!" I yelled at him, grabbing his head and putting him in a headlock. We wrestled around on his bed, playing like old times. I wound up putting him in the full nelson, making him beg me to let him up.
"Now, who has to defend whose honor?" I asked him, gradually applying more pressure.
"I give! I give!" He screamed. "You da man," he kept saying. We both laughed.
I rolled over on my side and let him up. He rolled over onto his side, facing me. Both of us propped up on our elbows. We were breathing hard from all the horse playing.
"Zuri, you sure this is something you wanna do? I mean, you sure you won't change your mind about it?"
"Keni, come on. Being who I am is not something I just turn on or off whenever I want. It's who I am, man. It's not gonna change. Like I said earlier, I know you're kind of disappointed and hurt, but I gotta be me. I've accepted it already, I suppose. I don't wanna hurt you or want you to feel bad because of it. What you think of me matters a whole lot and I want you to be ok with it."
"Yeah, OK! I can deal with it." He thought for a moment. "What about Mouse? How long has he known? What does he think about it?"
"Oh, he's definitely cool with it. He's known for a while."
"How does he know and why would you tell him and not me. I'm your bruh, man." He looked a little upset the more he thought about it more.
"Well, it wasn't my intention for him to find out. He just kinda sorta caught us in the act when we stayed at his house last weekend."
He raised up on the bed and looked wide-eyed at me. "He caught you two sucking each other's dicks?"
"No, boy!" I yelled at him laughing. "You so stupid. We weren't sucking each other's dicks. Nick was just kissing me and Mouse sorta walked in on us. We didn't even know that he saw us until the next morning when he confronted us about it."
"Oh." He answered, not knowing really what to say.
"Besides, we'd already sucked each other off earlier anyway." I said that just to see his reaction. I couldn't believe I so freely said it.
He laid back on his back and stared up at the ceiling, shaking his head side to side. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
"I'm sorry, K. I couldn't resist that." I said laughing. "I just wanted to see how you react to sex between two guys.
"Uh huh, well, keep that shit to yourself." He looked at me and said. "So, let me ask you another question? You through with girls, then? I mean, do you or your boy wanna ever hit with girls again?"
"Well, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that at all, Keni. I probably would and probably so would Nick, but what I'm saying is that there's no one I wanna be with other than Nick right now. He's it for me. Honestly! I can't think of anyone else I would wanna be with. I know it sounds strange and probably you don't understand it, but it's how I feel. I never felt about anyone like I do about him and frankly, I don't see my feelings changing any time soon. I know he feels the same way."
"You sure dude feels that same way?"
"Yeah, I know he does. Trust me." We gazed into each other eyes, being as serious as we've ever been about anything.
"What about Stace?"
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. She knows or at least I think she does, but then again, maybe not. She could have been just talking." I said.
"Did you tell her?"
"Hell no! She just made a comment last night at the party about my wanting someone with a little more testosterone than she has."
"Really!" He said with a surprised look on his face, laughing. "Why would she say that?'
"Well, she corned me in the kitchen last night and tried to get me to take her upstairs and fuck her. She was practically beggin' for the schlong." I said, grabbing at it.
"Oh yeah?" He said, smiling.
"Yep, and when I turned her down, she flipped."
"What you say to her?"
"I just told her something to the effect that she'd been drinking too much and that she should just go back out with everybody and have a good time. I guess she doesn't take rejection well. So, after she flipped, I told her to leave and asked Calli to make sure that she got home safely. What I wanted to do was punch her in the fuckin' face."
"Nah, I'm glad you didn't do that. Does Stace know about what she said?"
"Yeah, she just probably chalked it up to her being drunk."
He sat up on the bed and put his face in his hands. He looked back over at me. "I'm sorry about how I acted last night. I guess I need to apologize to Nick, too."
"Yeah you do, man, but I guess this whole thing is more my fault. I should've been honest with you when you kept asking what was up, but I was scared that if I told you the truth that you would turn your back on me.
"I guess I kinda didn't wanna face it. I did think something was going on, but wasn't sure of what it was."
"Yeah, well^Å" I said.
"Hey, you gonna tell mom and dad? He asked.
"I don't know. I've been thinking about it. What do you think?"
"I don't know. I think they'd be ok with it, but it's your decision."
"Yeah." I answered.
I was getting hungry from all the talking we were doing. "Hey, let go get something to eat. I'm starved." I said, getting off the bed. He followed me.
As we walked by my bedroom door, I heard my celly go off. I smiled and he quickly noticed. "I guess your boys missing you, huh?" He said smiling, as he walked on downstairs. I went into the room to get the phone.
"Hello?" I said, after checking the caller ID on my celly. It was Mouse. A little excitement left me but I was just as happy to hear from him.
"Yo, dude! Wassup?" He said. "How are things?"
"Pretty good. Much better than I expected after last night."
"You two talked?" He asked, referring to Keni and me.
"Yeah. We talked a lot this morning about what happened last night and about the situation with Nick and me."
"Oh yeah? What did he have to say about it? Is he cool?"
"Actually, Mouse, I didn't give Keni enough credit. We, umm, talked a lot this morning and I tried to explain to him what was up. He seems to be pretty cool about it. He told me that he was a little concerned about whether or not I'm doing the right thing with my life or not, but I kinda got him convinced that this isn't just some fly-by-night thing. That it's real.
"Cool!" He said. "K was off the hook last night. I thought he was gonna stroke out."
"Yeah, me too. I said. He was just upset that I hadn't told him about what's really going on and that he was more upset about the fact that you knew before he did. I told him how you found out and then he kinda chilled.
"Well, you know I got your back, Zuri. I'm there for you, through thick and thin.
"Yeah, I know. Thanks for that, man. You know how much that means to me. I'm there for you, too. "
"Oh, no doubt."
"You know, while we were talking this morning, he started joking around about dick sucking and shit. He was asking me about how we did it. Like did we me make sucking and slurping sounds or did we groan like normal people. He had me rolling. I couldn't believe how open I was with him about it. It was so cool." I said, laughing.
"Oh, shit. For real?" He was laughing as hard as I was.
"Yep. Oh and by the way, tell your girl Mona thanks for the help and all she did to help out. She's a keeper, dude. Make sure you tell her that I said that I owe her big time."
"Will do. She called already once this morning, asking about you. She likes you a lot. You know she has a brother that swings your way. I didn't know that about him til last night. His name is Quinn. You know him?" I asked.
"How in the hell would I know him?" I asked.
"I don't know. I thought your kind had to register or some shit to keep up with all the brothers on the down low." He said, laughing his ass off.
"Oh Fuck You!" I yelled at him, laughing too. He was cracking up.
My phone beeped. "Mouse, hold on. I got a beep." I said.
I looked at the caller ID and a smile spread across my face. I'd been waiting to hear from him all morning.
"Hey, boy! Wassup?" I said, smiling.
"Wassup! Boy, you're in a good mood. I hope I'm the reason for it." He said, chuckling.
"You know it. I'm happy to hear from you. And, I got a chance to talk with Keni this morning about our situation. We talked about everything."
"Oh yeah? What did he say?"
"Well, at first, it was really awkward. He just stared at me, saying nothing. Then, we both started talking. I kept tryin' to explain our situation. The more we talked, the more comfortable we became. He loosened up and actually listened. At first, he couldn't understand it and thought I was just going through some sorta phase. Then, he was sorta thinking that maybe it was something that you talked me into doing."
"Talked you into?" He interrupted. I couldn't tell that he was starting to get upset at the statement, his Italian accent thickening.
"Hold on! Hold on!" I said. "Chill out! He was just looking for excuses, something or someone to blame. We talked a lot about it and I think I got him convinced that it's something that just happened and that we both really like each other a lot."
"And he's cool with it?"
"Yep. He even said that he owed you an apology."
"Get out! For real? He said that?" He asked overly excited for some reason.
"Yep!" I beamed. I remembered that I had Mouse on the other end. "Shit! Hold on. Mouse is on the other line. Let me get him off."
I clicked back over. "Mouse, Nick is on the other line. Let me call you back."
"Cool!" He said. "Talk with you later."
"OK, buddy! Thanks for everything." I said before I clicked back over.
"I'm back." He started right up as soon as I clicked back over.
"I was so worried last night when I left. I think I got about an hour or two worth of sleep. I really had to fight the urge to come back over. Dennis talked me out of it." He said.
"Really? He seemed really cool about it."
"Yeah, I know. He's wise beyond his years. Can you believe he actually started giving me advice on how to handle my relationship with you. And actually, it was some good advice."
"How so?" I asked, becoming curious.
"Well, he just told me how to handle you and to make sure that no one ever interferes with us, to be there for each other no matter what. I couldn't believe he was saying all of that, considering that he just found out that his older brother was in a relationship with another guy."
Before I could I could say anything, Keni came to my room door and asked if I was talking to Nick.
"Yeah, why?" I asked.
"Invite him over later on." He said. "I wanna talk with him."
I looked at him sorta dumbfounded. I couldn't believe that he wanted me to ask my boyfriend over. This whole situation was getting stranger and stranger by the moment.
"About what?" I asked, staring at him.
"Just do it." He said.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, why not? Might as well get it over with." He said before walking away from the door and heading back downstairs, telling me that food was ready and to come on.
"Guess what?"
"What?" He asked.
"Keni wants you to come over and talk today.
"Talk! About what?"
"I'm not really sure. He didn't say. I think he wants to apologize about last night and about how he's been acting for the last few weeks. You wanna come?"
"Yeah, sure, I guess. What time?"
"Ummm. Let's say about 1:00 O'clock."
"Cool! I'll be there."
"Nick?" I said sincerely.
"Yeah, buddy."
" Love you a lot, man. A lot."
"Same here, Z. I think we're gonna be alright."
"I kinda feel that same. I'll talk with you around 1."
"OK, cool.!" I said before ending the call. I fell back on my bed, thinking about how my life had changed in the last few weeks. As I laid back, I looked over onto my dresser and saw Nick's gift. A bright smile appeared on my face.