Disclaimer- this story involves the love of two males so if this offends u then don't read. This story is totally fiction and not meant to reflect on anyone. And all the usual stuff applies lol.
Author's Note- Hey you guys this is my first attempt at a gay themed story, so bare with me and send feed back, tell me if I suck or if I'm any good, this will be a short story with about 12 maybe more chapters, so I hope u guys enjoy.
When Nothing Goes Right
Chapter 5
The rest of the week I had become silent. I didn't talk much during my sessions with Mrs. Daniels and avoided Zander whenever I could because I still helped his dad out with working on the house.
"Why have you been so glum the past few days." Mr. Daniels asked me with a smile. "You barely talk to me anymore. I'm beginning to think that you find me boring."
"I'm fine." I said putting a smile on my face to convince him.
"You don't seem fine to me. I know you talk to my wife about everything, but you know I'll be able to lend you an ear without the whole professional setting whenever you want." He told me
"Thanks....but trust me, everything's fine." I said to him, making it a point to widen my smile.
He looked at me for awhile thinking like he wanted to say something more, but then just let it drop. Instead he changed the subject and soon got caught up in the work we were doing.
After awhile Mr. Daniels suggested that I take a break. I walked downstairs about to head into the kitchen, when I hear the doorbell ring. I figured someone would get it as I passed the front door and went into the kitchen, but a few seconds later the doorbell rang again and still no one was coming for the door. For the third time the doorbell rang and this time someone shouted down the stairs.
"Can someone please answer the goddamn door!" Mr. Daniels yelled impatiently.
After a few more seconds, I figured that I'd open it because apparently I was the only one who was around to do it. I walked to the door to unlocked and opened it.
"Oh...um.....hi." Angie said sort of surprised to see me there.
"H-hello, I, um, guess you're here to see Zander. He's probably in his room." I said opening the door wider to so she could get inside.
"Not to sound rude or anything, but what exactly are you doing here?" she asked curiously.
"It's a long story, but basically I'm getting help from Zander's mom while helping out his dad with housework." I said walking into the kitchen to grab a soda from the fridge. "You want a soda?"
"Wow, Zander never said anything about that." She said confused, taking the soda I offered her. "Thanks."
"I guess he wouldn't, he doesn't really like it that I'm here. I've been trying to apologize to him. I mean I feel like shit for what happened." I said to her.
"Oh really.....well hey don't worry about Zander, he'll come around. He's a little stubborn at times, but if anything he still owes you an apology for that rumor he started about you. I'm sorry he put you through that." She said sympathetically.
"It's okay, I'm over it. I just can't believe I let my anger get the best of me. I'm usually able to keep it under control and to myself, but I guess I just cracked. That's sort of the reason why I'm here getting help from his mom, she's my shrink now. Apparently 'keeping my feelings in to myself is not a healthy thing to do'." I said to her, mimicking a professional voice.
Angie sort of just looked at me a little awkward, and suddenly I felt really uncomfortable.
"What?" I asked her not being able to take her staring at me anymore.
"Oh sorry, I was just thinking that this is the most I've ever heard you say. Didn't think you were capable of speaking so much." She said snapping out of it and laughing.
I started to blush. "Yeah I'm just used to keeping to myself, but Mrs. Daniels thinks that I need to put myself out there and really try to make friends. She says that it will help me."
"Really? You know I was just telling Zander before this whole mess happened that all you need were a few friends. In fact he was going to apologize to you that day when you hit him."
"He was?" I said stricken. Now I felt even worst. "No wonder he refused to be friends with me."
"Hey don't worry about it, if you want I could be your friend." She said looking at me.
"I'm sure your best friend Zander would love that." I said sarcastically.
"Oh, don't worry about him; he'll come around like I said." She said waving him off.
"Well I guess this whole friend thing is worth a try. Just give me time to adjust though because I'm not used to it yet.
"No problem. We'll take it slow. So tell me about yourself, like what you like to do." She said getting comfortable at the kitchen table as I did too.
I talked to her and surprisingly I felt comfortable around her and we talked all kinds of things about me, about her. We we're joking and laughing, Angie just sort of knew how to make you feel welcome and I liked that about her. I found out that she was actually the one who put in that good word with me to the principal that saved me from being expelled.
"What the hell is going here?" Zander shrieked "Angie, what are you doing?"
"Oh nothing, me and Skyler are just getting to know each other that's all. You know he's actually pretty funny." She said rolling her eyes at him but still laughing at the last joke we shared.
"Stop it! You do know what he did to me right, and you're making friends with him?" Zander said getting angrier.
"Zander, you know you deserved getting hit and you know as well as I know that he didn't mean for you to fall down the stairs like that."
"Yeah I really didn't mean to do that....." I cut in but was cut off.
"Stay out of this, asshole." Zander snapped, shutting me up instantly and I felt myself turning red.
"Stop being such a bitch.' She said to Zander, suddenly turning on her attitude.
"Umm, I think I better go back to work." I said standing up and excusing myself from the kitchen.
I went up the stairs leaving them alone to talk. Hopefully Angie wouldn't change her mind about being friends with me, but I didn't expect her to pick me over Zander so I didn't get my hopes up.
"What the hell is wrong with you Zander? What he did was an accident. All he wants to do is make some friends." Angie said angrily.
"Well he can make friends, just not with mine." Zander said stubbornly.
"You know what? I'm tired of your shit...."
"MY shit....?" Zander started, getting mad.
"DO NOT interrupt me, you're gonna listen to what I have to say." She said and Zander shut up immediately. "You are being SUCH a snobbish brat. You are so full of yourself, all you ever think about is you. That's not a good friend to have. I'm gonna be friends with Skyler whether you like it or not. What you SHOULD be worried about is whether or not I still want to be friends with YOU, because as of right now you and me aren't looking to good."
"Fine, if that's what you want, dump me like everyone else. Go on and bone your boyfriend. Make all your wild fantasies with him come true."
Angie slapped him hard across the face. Zander put his hand to his face, he was all red and his eyes were watering but he was holding back his angry tears.
"Don't ever speak to me like that again. I'm not gonna feel sorry for you if that's what you want. I'm gonna tell you this though. You think that everyone else is messed up when it comes to you and that it's not your fault that they leave you; your friendships and relationships. You always think it's their problem. But you know what I just realized? They aren't the problem...... YOU ARE!" Angie said then walked out the kitchen and out the front door leaving Zander still standing there with his hand on his face, still stunned and letting her words sink in.
"So tell me why the thought of relationships don't appeal to you?" Mrs. Daniels said to me in another session.
It was my last session before I would be going back to school. We had decided that once school started on Monday, I would be going to see her once a week.
"It's not that they don't appeal to me, it's just that ......I don't see girls in that type of way.....yet." I said feeling a little uncomfortable with this subject.
"Oh?" She said sort of surprised.
"No.... I mean, like.... I guess I'm a late bloomer......or I haven't found the right one yet." I said getting really nervous to the direction this conversation was heading.
"Tell me something, just humor me okay? What do you think about guys? Do you find that you can see yourself in any intimate way with them?" she asked curiously
".....oh......um......I.....NO!!" I said stumbling over my words. My breathing had started to grow faster as I grew from a little, too totally uncomfortable.
"Hey, hey....calm down. It's not a problem to me 'if' you're attracted to boys. I won't judge you. I mean my only son is gay. It's not a bad thing. You can talk to me about anything, TRUST me." She said trying to be encouraging.
"Look, I'm not gay. Like I said before, I'm just a late bloomer." I said trying to end this discussion.
"So you're not even the least bit attracted to any boy." She said being persistent.
"Noo, I'm not attracted to boys ...I'm not......at least I don't think I am...." I was stammering again.
She gave me this look like she knew I was trying to convince myself of something that wasn't true. I looked back at her and just gave in.
"Okay....I've been having these dreams." I said looking down at my hands. My heart was beating really fast, scared of the information I was about to admit too.
"And what are these dreams about?" she asked, her face showing no emotion, making it easier for me to talk without feeling embarrassed.
I laid back on the couch that I was sitting up on. "They're always different, sometimes they're innocent dreams, sometimes they end up with me in a big mess that I have to clean up. But they always have him in it. He's the only person, male or female, that I've ever dreamed about." I said blushing.
"And who is he? What's his name?" she asked.
"Just some guy from school." I said nervously
"You don't know him?" She asked.
"Well not exactly. He doesn't like me very much, but I want him to like me. Maybe become friends you know." I said looking up at her.
She smiled at me and then nodded her head. She ended the session and I went to work with Mr. Daniels.
That night, I stayed up thinking about my dreams. I couldn't tell Mrs. Daniels that my dreams were about her son, but it was true. Every night since that day he kissed me in that crowded hall, I had dreams about him. At first they pissed me off because I was so pissed at him. Then, after the accident at school, I began to accept them, sometimes even looking forward to them.
In my dreams when Zander looked at me it made me feel great. I could feel love radiating in those eyes. In my dreams Zander loved me and it was great to feel that kind of love from someone. While I was in the dream it didn't matter that he was a guy, but it did worry me when I woke up.
Am I really gay? I mean I don't find girls attractive, but I also don't find guys attractive either, well just Zander. I'm very attracted to him and only him, so does this fact make me gay?
I'd have sexual dreams about him as well as just regular, normal dreams where we would just spend time together doing different things as a couple. I always had this certain feeling of completion in these dreams. I guess that's the reason why it means so much to me for him to accept my apology.
Zander and I were lying down on a couch together. His head on my chest and my arm around him, holding him close to me. His eyes were closed and I was staring down at him, once again feeling great to be with him. I hugged him to me tighter. I loved the way he smelled.
"I love you, you know that?" Zander said with his eyes still closed.
"Yeah I know. I love you too." I said. "Promise me something?" Zander opened his eyes to look at me.
"What is it?" he asked me.
"Promise me that you'll never leave me. That you'll always be here so that I'm never alone again."
Zander just looked up at me for a second before he turned over on his stomach, on top of me, and leaned up to kiss me.
"You'll always have me as long as you never hurt me." He said to me seriously.
"I would never hurt you, you know that." I said almost hurt that he would even think that I would hurt him.
He stayed quiet for awhile, just staring into my eyes, taking my breath away as I stared back into his blue ones. He always could put butterflies in my stomach with just a look.
"I trust you Sky," he said lying back down with his head on my chest, as I ran my hand through his hair.
We stayed like that for awhile, just enjoying each other's company
"You have to talk to me, Sky." He said to me after a few minutes.
"What? I asked confused.
Zander suddenly sat up and looked at me his dreamy look became very serious.
"TALK TO ME!" he yelled, "YOU HAVE TO TALK TO ME."
"Zander, I don't understand....." I said sitting up too.
He kissed me again. A very passionate kiss like he was showing me how much he loved me
"Just talk to me and you'll understand." He said after he broke the kiss.
I suddenly sat up in my bed. A disappointing feeling came over me as I realized I was dreaming again. I could still feel Zander's lips on mine, still hear his voice, 'talk to me' he said.
I laid back down on my pillow trying to make sense of my dream. It was a nice dream but it confused me in the end. After a while I got out of bed and put my clothes on. It was still night time, so I sneaked down the stairs to get my keys. My mom had given them back to me because I would be going to school the next day.
I left the house and got into the car, sat down and gripped the steering wheel thinking about what I was doing. This is stupid, I thought to myself. I thought about just going back into the house, but when I closed my eyes I could still picture him looking at me with his voice still ringing in my ears 'talk to me'. I opened my eyes determined. I was going to talk to Zander.....right now. I just HAD to get him to stop hating me.
Zander woke up to his parents screaming at each other. As big as this his house was and he just had to have his bedroom down the hall from them. He couldn't take this anymore. He had been getting stressed more and more. He was dealing with a lot of things; his parents were always fighting, the doctors were worried that there could be something wrong with his brain after that fall down the stairs but didn't know what to look for, the guy he seemed to hate had been coming to his house non-stop ever since he got back for the hospital and what made matters worst was the fact that his parents loved the bastard who had put him in the hospital in the first place. How did that happen?
The biggest thing he was stressed about though was Angie. He was losing her and didn't know how to deal with that. He knew that she was right. He did have problems, but just couldn't deal with Angie picking Skyler over him. It gave him another reason to hate him.
He couldn't have his house to himself anymore; it was like every time he turned around Skyler was there. He hated how he would always help his dad out after he himself had refused to help his dad out, it made Zander look bad. He hated how his mom would treat him like a second son, always trying to keep him over for dinner, he always refused, but it was still annoying that she kept doing it. He hated how Skyler would always try to talk to him and would not take the hint and just give up. He hated how bad felt every time he had to put Skyler down, that look on his face always cause Zander pain. He hated how good his voice sounded when he could hear the conversations between him and his dad, he also hated that when Skyler would laugh it brought a smile to his face unconsciously. He hated the fact that he couldn't take his eyes off the guy, how good he looked when Skyler was sweating, or how great his body looked that one time when he was shirtless because his shirt had gotten ready dirty and his mom was washing it for him. He hated that he was attracted to him.
Angie was right; he really didn't have a good reason to hate him. He knew the whole accident was a mistake. The problem was that he was scared. He was scared of the feelings that he was starting to develop for Skyler. He had a big crush on him ever since Angie had pointed him out two years ago. Angie had wanted to date him and secretly he wanted Skyler too. He had kept it to himself at the time because he didn't want to hurt Angie's feelings.
Skyler had been in many of his fantasies before they had met in that crowded hallway. He actually did enjoy that kiss he gave Skyler to embarrass him. He had a wet dream that very night. He didn't know why he kept treating Skyler so bad, but it sort of had to do with that promise he made to himself to never get hurt again. He didn't even know if Skyler was gay or not because he never dated and never talked. He seemed soo mysterious and that gave him more sex appeal in Zander's eyes. Zander just had too much pride to back off now and say that he was wrong. So he wouldn't be changing his attitude towards him, he had made up his mind.
His parents arguing broke him out of his thoughts. He got out of bed and went down to the kitchen. Oh his way down the stairs he heard someone knocking at the door. When he had looked at his alarm clock earlier it was around one in the morning. He was curious at who would come here this late and went to open the door.
"I need to talk to you." I said to Zander, still trying to keep my confidence up
Zander just stared at me for awhile like he was confused as to why I was there, before he gave me that usual cold look with his eyes.
"What the hell do you think you're doing here? It's late! God I can't even get rid of you at night. Do me a favor and just leave me the hell alone, asshole." Zander said about to close the door on me.
"No, please just hear me out." I said blocking the door and then stepping in past him.
Zander looked at me like I lost my mind, which I probably had. I didn't even know what I was doing at this point.
"You have a lot of nerve. You already stole my best friend from me, what else do want from me you piece of shit?" He said getting really angry; he was looking really stressed at the same time too.
"Look I'm sorry about what happened. I shouldn't have hit you...." I started.
"Damn right you shouldn't have." He interrupted me.
"But you didn't have to kiss me like that in front of everyone." I said getting frustrated with his attitude.
"Yeah, whatever, you can leave now." He said opening the door.
I walked to the door about to give up but then I looked at him and thought better of it. I didn't want to give up too soon.
"No, not yet." I said closing the door for him and stepping down into the little sitting area; he gave me a weird look and crossed his arm following me. "Listen, I really don't want you to hate me. You might have noticed that I don't really have friends. I was hoping that maybe you and me could.... I mean your mom thinks it's a good idea for me to make friends, so you know....."
"Well you can get that idea out of your head right now. Listen loser, and try to understand this time... I....DON'T.....LIKE.....YOU. Who would want to be friends with some creep like you? No one likes you, you're soo worthless and that's just the way it's gonna stay. God you're soo annoying." He was ranting.
His words once again stung me and had me fighting back emotions.
"Shut the fuck up. I'm not worthless. Why the hell do you hate me soo much. Why can't we just forget all this crap that happened between us and start over? If Angie could give me a chance, why can't you?" I said really trying to hold my emotions together.
"Why are you trying so hard? I said I don't like you." Zander was getting even more frustrated as he stressed each word he said to me.
"It's just....it would really mean a lot to me if you just gave a chance man." I said pleading
"Why? Why the fuck should I give you a chance?"
"Because........" I said starting to feel uncomfortable and Zander noticed it.
"WHY?" He shouted at me, taking advantage of my uneasiness.
Without thinking from frustration, I grabbed him, pulling him into me, as I placed my lips on top of his. I closed my eyes getting lost in the feeling of his lips on mine, expecting him to push me off at any minute, but he didn't. I opened my eyes and broke the kiss, only to find that his eyes were closed too. He had this sort of dreaming look on his face until he realized we weren't kissing anymore and he snapped his eyes open, his face reddening from embarrassment. It was clear to see that he defiantly wasn't expecting that. The thing was he didn't seem mad, he was hard to read though, his face was just neutral, and I took that as sigh to just be honest with him, so I did.
"Why?...Because you're all I can think about, I dream about you all the freakin' time. And I never had feelings like these for anybody but you. That's why, are you happy now? I think I'm in love with you. There I said it." I had said this all at one really fast but softly to him.
Zander was just quiet. There was definitely no more anger in his eyes. And for a brief moment I think I could actually see that look he only gave me in my dreams, but then he just started looking more stressed.
"No....." Was all he could say before we both looked up as we heard screaming upstairs.
His parents seemed to be fighting. I looked over to Zander and he was looking pissed again, he became very red and if possible even more stressed. He put a hand to his head and let a groan that turned into a scream as he shouted.
"SHUT UP!!!!!" The arguing upstairs stopped immediately.
I gazed back to Zander and saw that he wasn't looking to well. He had gotten sort of pale still looking more stressed. He closed his eyes, pressing the palm of his hand to his forehead. He started to sway a little before he fell over. I saw him falling and tried to catch him but ended up falling with him knocking a lamp over in the process. Three of us fell to the floor; the lamp falling to pieces with a loud crash, Zander was out cold, and I was on top of him scared about what just happened.
"Zander, Zander?" I said taking my weight off of him, trying to shake him awake, as I heard footsteps running down the stairs.
"Wake up Zander." I said trying to shake him more.
"What's going on down here?" Mr. Daniels said.
"Oh my god! Zander? Baby? What did you do to my baby......get away from him." Mrs. Daniels screamed.
"No...no.... I didn't do this. I....I... know this looks bad......I swear I didn't touch him...." I said stuttering nervously.
"GET OUT!!!" She screamed at me hitting at my shoulder.
I ran out the house and into my car. This is just GREAT!!! Nothing ever goes right with this guy.
Ok so here's the latest chapter, don't forget to tell me what you think about it. I love feedback and you can see it to at adsherrill@msn.com , I hope you're enjoying the story so far. The next chapter should be up soon so look out for it.
DEAN