Disclaimer- this story involves the love of two males so if this offends u then don't read. This story is totally fiction and not meant to reflect on anyone. And all the usual stuff applies lol.
Author's Note- Hey you guys this is my first attempt at a gay themed story, so bare with me and send feed back, tell me if I suck or if I'm any good, this will be a short story with about 12 maybe more chapters, so I hope u guys enjoy.
When Nothing Goes Right
Chapter 7
"What are you doing here?" he asked me.
"I...um...I'm sorry, I was just...." I was really stuttering around my words not knowing what to say to save myself from the situation I was in.
Zander zoomed into the room and snatched the notebook from my hands.
"This is personal. You had no right." He said very close to tears.
It was weird seeing him react this way because I thought for sure he was going to scream or tell me off. He just held the notebook to his chest looking down the whole time. I was feeling a little awkward and I sort of forgot the reason why I was here in the first place.
We sort of stayed in silence, not looking at each other. I was waiting for Zander to come to his senses and throw me out of his room...but, he didn't. I suddenly couldn't take the awkwardness anymore so I decided to glance up at him. I was shocked to see him looking the same way I felt. I finally seemed to find my voice.
"Um, can we talk?" I asked cautiously.
Zander looked up at me and nodded. "Sure."
He sat down still clutching the notebook. We were both sitting on the bed and suddenly my mind was going to different places, but I forced myself to stay focused on the subject at hand.
"Look, I know how we started sucked, and I know things are awkward between us because of how I feel for you. But if we're ever going to move past all that then you can't keep avoiding me or Angie for that matter." I said to him. He stayed quiet and looked down to his feet, so I went on.
"You don't even know how much just your friendship would mean to me. I'm not asking you to be with me. I don't think I would even know what to do in a relationship, I'm barely learning what it's like to have friends." I said breaking to see if he was going to say anything, but there was silence with Zander still looking down.
"That's all I want from you is for you to give me a chance. Just like Angie and your parents did for me. Please!" I begged not knowing what else to say. He still hadn't moved at all.
"Please say something, Zander. Talk to me." I said taking his words from my dreams.
He took a deep breath and looked up at me. We both stared at each other and there was just this connection that struck us. There was longing in both of our eyes. We both seemed to be lost in thought just staring at each other like nothing mattered any more. I didn't even realize that we were moving closer to each other until our lips touched and I closed my eyes as we continued to kiss. Zander opened his mouth and I didn't know if what I was doing was right but my tongue seemed to have a mind of it's own while it slipped into his mouth, exploring. Our kiss deepened as he leaned back and I leaned over him not breaking the kiss. It was better then my dreams that's for sure. Suddenly, Zander broke the kiss as if something clicked into his mind of what he was doing.
"No, Stop." He said and I quickly jumped off of him, stepping away from the bed.
"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." I said to him. "God I never do anything right."
"No, this is why. It's not you......I can't trust myself around you. What you told me that night about me being all you think about. It's the same for me."
I suddenly felt this rush when I heard him say those words. It was like my dreams were finally becoming a reality.
"R-really?" I asked eagerly.
He looked at me for a while. "Yes, really. But it doesn't change the way I feel about the whole thing. I don't want to fall in love and I just really can't allow this to happen."
It hurt me to hear him say that, but I tried hard not to let it show on my face, but I wasn't too sure if that was working.
"Well we can just be friends." I tried again.
"I can't...at least not now." He said.
"Please...." I started.
"Just stop, okay." He interrupted me. "I just...I need time."
I didn't know what to say as I just stared at him longingly while he pleaded me with his eyes, a tear rolling down from them.
"Okay" I said as I continued to back out of his room.
"I'm sorry about the notebook....umm bye." I said before leaving to close the door behind me.
"Skyler, wait..." he said before I had completely closed the door. I opened it and leaned my head inside.
"Huh?" I said to him with a little hope.
"Look, just forget about me ok. I have problems, I'm an asshole, a bitch, whatever. All I think about is myself most of the time. I'm stubborn. I'm not a great person. I mean look how I've treated you so far. How exactly can you be in love with someone like me? You deserve better, someone who would treat you right and give you what you need. Trust me in this okay?" Zander said sadly, holding back a lot of emotion.
I stared at him awhile taking in everything he said. I knew he was probably right, but I didn't care, it didn't matter to me. For some reason my heart was just set.
"All that stuff doesn't matter to me. I look at you and all I see is perfection. Sure you have your problems, but doesn't everybody, I do. Sure things went wrong with us in the beginning, but that was the past, I'm over it and you should be too. One thing I learned a long time ago is that nothing ever really goes right in life. I just take things as they come. So you think you're not good enough for me, but the way I see it is, your perfect to me." I said before I closed the door to leave him in tears.
It hurt to see him so emotional, but I had no idea what to do. I walked down the stairs in pain of what I just leaned. All of me was just begging to run over to him and hold him in my arms to make him feel better, but I just couldn't.
I was so lost in thought that when I left through the front doors I completely walked into a body, knocking us both down as we tripped with me falling on top of a complete stranger.
"What the hell?" he said caught off guard.
"Oh god, I'm sorry." I said looking at a face I definitely didn't recognize but really pleasing to the eye.
Hazel eyes stared back at me for a second before he smiled.
"Not a problem." He said winking, "Believe me." He added after we both stood up.
I temporarily forgot about my problems as I took in the guy in front of me. The rest of him was just as pleasing to the eye as his face was. He had light brown hair that reached down to his big, broad shoulders. He looked like he lifted weights religiously, because he was really buff, way more muscle than I had. His clothes clung tight to his body, leaving nothing to the imagination. He seemed to scream sex.
When I finally realized that I was checking him out, I returned my gaze to his face to see him doing the same to me. When he had seen that I had caught him he didn't even seem bothered by it as he gave me another wink. I started to feel really uncomfortable and self conscious.
"Kyle." He stated, reaching his hand out to introduce himself.
"Oh...um...Skyler." I said shyly taking his hand.
"Skyler? That's an interesting name." he said staring unblinkingly at me. "So, Sky why you so nervous." He said with this smirk on his face.
"I...um...I" I stuttered not knowing what to say.
"Kyle come on you're already late. Get a move on. Hi Sky." Mrs. Daniels waved to me and gave an impatient look to Kyle.
Kyle seemed to be ignoring her as he grabbed a pen from his pocket and wrote his number on the back of my hand. To say I was shocked was definitely an understatement.
"Just in case you ever wanna hang out." He winked at me before turning towards Mrs. Daniels and walking with her to her office.
I must have stood there for a good 5 minutes before I came to my senses and walked to my car.
"So tell me Kyle. How have things been going with the new meds? You've been on them for about two months now, is that right." Mrs. Daniels asked, sitting at her desk flipping through Kyle's paper work.
"So is that guy a patient of yours?" Kyle asked completely ignoring the conversation she was trying to have.
"You are here for your check up, not for discussing other 'possible' patients. Please stay on topic." Mrs. Daniels said impatiently.
"He's really hot, do you think he's gay?" Kyle said continuing with his own conversation.
"Kyle we are not discussing Skyler, we are trying to discuss you." She said getting frustrated.
"Skyler...the name fits him. You know it doesn't matter if he's gay or straight. I bet I can have him. I can get pretty much any guy I want." He said cockily.
"KYLE!!! Please focus here. Besides that boy has gone through enough and he doesn't need a guy like you complicating it even more." She snapped.
"Ouch Doc, come on. That hurts." He said mocking hurt and then smiling at her. "So do you mind if we stop wasting time here. I kind of have some place to be."
Mrs. Daniels just gave him a pointed look before she shook her head at him and began the session.
Meanwhile up in the house, Zander still had tears running down his face. The words that Skyler had gave him made him feel great but at the same time made him hate his life. He didn't know what to do. His heart told him to go for Skyler, to let himself love again. His heart missed that feeling of being loved and it ached for no one but Skyler.
His head though told him not to trust his heart even though he wanted to. His head was being logical and told him that if he allowed himself to fall in love again all that would result would be him getting hurt like always. But should he trust his head. It had been his head that told him to treat Skyler like shit, it had been his head that got him on thin ice with Angie. His head got him in so much trouble. He didn't know what to do anymore. Choosing to ignore both his head and his heart, where did that leave him?
He decided to touch basis with Angela to get back on good graces with her again. He picked up the phone and dialed her number.
"Buddy, you better have a good explanation as to why you've been ignoring me this whole time." She said answering the phone on the first ring.
"I'm an idiot, I know sorry isn't enough because I say it all the time, but I am. God I really fucked up." Zander said still crying.
"Oh no, what happened, what's going on Zander, don't cry." She said trying to comfort him.
"I screw up everything; nothing goes right with me Angie. I deserve to be alone." He said trying to wipe his tears with his free hand.
"Zander shut up. You're never alone. No matter how much you screw up with me, you'll always have me. I would never abandon you. But you have to let people in." she said soothingly.
"Now you just sound like my mom." Zander said with a laugh as he sniffled a little.
"Well it's true. You know Skyler isn't such a bad friend, maybe you should at least try...."
"Can we not talk about him please... at least for now?" Zander asked a little sadly.
"Sure sweetie, but just know that the subject isn't dropped forever." She said firmly.
Zander took a deep breath. "I know, Angie.... Thanks."
"Thanks for what?" Angie asked.
"For being there for me when I don't deserve you as a friend." Zander stated.
"I'm not going anywhere okay. So just stop with that." She said smiling through the phone. "Listen, I'll have to talk to you later okay. Mom's calling."
"Okay, sure. Bye Angie."
"Bye, don't feel down okay, just know that the next time you decide to avoid me, I'll kick your ass."
"I know." Zander smiled as they hung up.
I didn't know if I made any progress with Zander. Even though now I knew how he felt about me, it still didn't change the fact that he still didn't want to be around me. I did all I could, the ball was in his court now. It was up to him and I was starting to except that we would never be close as friends and definitely not as lovers.
I glanced down at my hand and remembered the guy I had met leaving Zander's house. I didn't know what to make of him. He seemed a little forward, but he also seemed interested in being my friend, I think. I mean why else would he give me his number. Mrs. Daniels said it would be good for me to make some friends and this guy was definitely interesting.
I stared at the phone and thought about dialing the number printed on the back of my hand. The phone suddenly started to ring so I reached over to pick it up.
"Is this Skyler?" A male voice asked on the other line.
"Um...yeah." I said suspiciously.
I rarely got phone calls because so far Angie was my only friend. So for a guy to be asking for me was sort of weird.
"Hey, I was thinking about you. Thought maybe we could hangout. Maybe go to a party." The voice said.
"Um...I don't mean to sound rude or anything but who are you and how did you get my number."
"Oh yeah sorry about that, well I got your number out of Dr. Daniels black book when she wasn't looking. I figured you probably wouldn't call me cause you seem very shy." He said sounding very sure of himself.
"Oh, you're that guy I knocked over. I'm so sorry about that, I'm such a klutz sometimes." I said
"It's Kyle, and its ok, don't worry about it. So how about it.?" He said impatiently.
"How about what?" I asked confused.
"The party, man." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I don't...it's just I don't really know you." I said awkward.
"We'll get to know each other then."
"Can I think about it?" I asked, feeling like it was the safest answer to give him.
"You know you're gonna come, but yeah, it's next weekend so just give me a call. You got my number and I got yours, just in case you forget to call me back. He said.
"Yeah, ok...I'll talk to you later." I said put off.
"Yeah sure, I WILL see you later." He said hanging up the phone like he had the final word.
"O-kay?!" I said to myself.
"I don't know about this, I mean you don't even know him." Angie said after I had told her everything from Zander to the phone call I had gotten that weekend.
"Well I could get to know him at the party I guess. He's interested in getting to know me, which is more than what I can say for your best friend." I said eyeing Zander walking down to his locker.
"Hey, just give him time okay, I know him. He'll come around. Don't give up on him."
"Yeah, maybe." I said giving him one last look.
"I can't believe how stupid this all is. I mean you both have feelings for each other. Look, I'll talk to him okay." Angie said
"Do what you want, it probably won't do any good. Just don't mention that I told you about what he feels for me, that's probably something personal that I should have kept to myself. I don't want him embarrassed." I told her.
"Just like when he kissed you in the crowded hall, right?"
"I'm over that, trust me." I said to her smiling.
"Okay well I'll see you later, Sky." Angie said as she started to walk over to Zander.
"Okay see ya." I said to her.
Zander was at his locker when he saw Angie coming towards him.
"Hey, you feeling better?" she asked.
"Yeah a little." He said to her closing his locker.
"So listen, I know the subject of Skyler is touchy for you 'for reasons unknown' but...." Angie started.
"Shit, he told you didn't he?" Zander asked turning red from embarrassment.
"Well I am his ONLY friend, but that's not the point." Angie said rolling her eyes. "Look, this is all stupid. You both like each other so why not at least attempt friendship? I don't see the harm in that."
"It's complicated..." Zander tried to say.
"Just stop ok, I know you. Eventually you'll come around to your senses with Skyler, but the only reason I'm pushing you now is because it may be too late by then." Angie said.
"What are you talking about?" Zander asked confused, as they started walking down the hall.
"He met some guy named Ken or something like that at your place the other day. He's thinking about getting to know him and from what I can tell this guy seems to have the hots for him even though Skyler doesn't seem to realize it." Angie blurted out really fast, like running water blasting from a broken dam.
"What do you mean he met someone at my place? Who the hell is Ken?" Zander said getting upset by this information without even realizing it.
"I think he's one of your mom's patients. Sky said something about him being a big guy with long hair and hazel eyes." Angie said recalling the info.
"Wait that sounds like.... No it can't be...." He said stopping in his tracks in the middle of the hall. "You mean Kyle?"
"Yeah that's his name." Angie said suddenly remembering.
"No, no, no. He can't go out with Kyle. That's just going to end in a big mess, I know that for sure." Zander said as they started walking again.
"What do you mean?" Angie asked concerned.
"Kyle is a little wild, he has problems. This is really bad trust me. Skyler is going to get hurt. You need to stop him." Zander commanded her.
"Hey, I don't know anything about this guy, Zander if you know something about this guy you need to tell him yourself." Angie said seriously.
"You know I can't do that." Zander said exasperated.
"If you care about him like I know you do, you will. I'm not doing your dirty work for you Zan." Angie said walking away from him.
"Oh my god, you're evil you know that?" Zander said to the still walking Angie, who only turned around and smiled as she finished walking to her class.
Zander was waiting on the steps to his front door. He was going over in his head what he was going to say to Skyler when he finished his session with Zander's mom.
He had to go about this the right way. Kyle was bad news and Skyler had to be warned. Zander had a history Kyle, a bad one too, and he vowed never to even let his worst enemy be involved with a guy like Kyle. He knew maybe he was exaggerating, but Kyle really didn't need to be involved with someone like Skyler. Sky was too good for Kyle; Sky was too good for him too.
Yes he definitely needed to make Skyler hear him out on this. He just didn't know how to face him after the last time they were together. He had to figure that out soon though because he heard the footsteps coming up from the path that led to the side of the house where his mom's office was located there.
When Skyler came around to the front, Zander stood up off the front steps quickly.
"Don't worry I'm leaving." I said to Zander when I saw him jump off the steps when he saw me, looking nervous too.
"Skyler,....can we talk for sec?" he seemed to ask me carefully.
I looked at him and my hopes were suddenly lifted as I wondered if he was finally caving in.
"What about?" I asked him.
He took that as his cue to walk a little closer to me causing my heart to beat faster the closer he got to me until he was right in front of me.
"You need to stay away from Kyle." He said very sternly to me.
Huh? So not what I was expecting.
"Excuse me?" I said to him, giving him an annoyed expression.
"You can't get involved with a guy like Kyle..."
"Wait, wait, wait. So let me get this straight. You have a problem with me making friends with Kyle? What is with you? Why don't you like me having friends?" I asked getting pissed.
"No, it's not like that at all. I'm just trying to warn you....." Zander tried.
"Warn me? Every time I make a friend you try to stop it. You don't want to be my friend, ok I get that! That's fine, but then you go as far as to tell me I can't be friends with Angie and now Kyle. That's really not cool man." I told him, my voice rising a little.
I turned around to start walking away, my heart beating fast with anger and disappointment. I didn't get too far before I felt a hand grab my shoulder to turn me around.
"Fuck, will you just listen to..."Zander said getting frustrated, letting go of my arm.
"No, I'm fed up okay. If I want to be friends with Kyle then it's none of your business, you're not going to stop me." I said finally trying to stand up for myself, towering over him to get him to back off of me.
Zander still wasn't scared of me and he didn't back up one bit. I was really trying to scare him, using my height and muscles as a threat. I didn't want to hurt him, I just wanted him to back down, but he stood his ground.
"He's bad Skyler. I'm trying to tell...." He started before I cut him off again.
"Why do you care so much, last time I checked you were not my friend, so just drop it." I snapped at him and he got quiet. His eyes looked hurt at what I had said as he looked down, and backed down, putting just a little distance between us.
I stared at him trying to calm myself down and we both didn't say anything for a while before my cell phone rang. Zander looked up at me a little curious as I answered the phone.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey Sky, it's Kyle. Just wanted to know if you thought about going to that party." he asked.
"I thought you were gonna give me the week to decide." I asked confused.
"I am, but just checking in to see if you've come to your senses yet, that you won't have more fun with anyone but me." He said with this cocky attitude.
"I...I..." I stuttered at first, but then I took a look at Zander who was eyeing me strangely. I suddenly gave a smile still looking at Zander as he watched me talk on the phone. "Sure Kyle, I'd love to go to that party with you."
As soon as I said that, a big frown came across Zander's face as he turned and walked into his house, slamming the door shut.
I really had to admit that sort of felt good as I smiled to myself.
So I know this one was really a long time coming, I've been going through a lot of stuff lately which affected and conflicted with my writing time. Just to let you know that I'm currently working on chapter 10, so when I finish it, I'll type up chapter 8 and post it, I always like to be 2 chapters ahead when I'm writing. I really hope I'm not losing readers at this point. Things are gonna get a little more interesting in the next few chapters so stay tuned. Feedback is much appreciated you can send at adsherrill@msn.com
Dean