This is story that I came up with to express the confusion in gay youth, or just youth for that matter. True or not doesn't really matter because it is more an expression of feelings. I will say that I'm mixing in some of my experiences, along with other peoples. Hope you guys like this :) If any of my story strikes you as close to home, well that's my goal.
"When You're a Kid" Part 1
When you're really young everything always seems to fall right into place. The world is crystal clear like a glass of water. You see through it, or so you think. Fact is that the water in the glass skews your vision a little bit. Nothing is really as perfect as it seems. For me my teen years were about learning that lesson.
By the time I was 14 I knew all about sex. They taught you in school boys do girls, you should wait until you are mature and then you must use protection, that's that, everything you need to know. Sure they said some stuff about the "different" people, about as much as you heard was the fact that they were "different" and "at high risk". Hey that's all I needed to know. Anyways I had already figured it all out before that. I knew that I masturbated and that was normal. I knew that I sometimes thought about girls and sometimes about boys. I wasn't really concerned enough about it to pursue either type, it didn't matter because sex always seemed to find me.
When I was 14 I had short brown hair and blue eyes. Reason I didn't have to look far for partners to experiment with, I suppose was the fact that I had a slim, toned body. I was 5'6 and had a cute boyish face. I was the typical 14 year old boy, about 1 and a half years into puberty. I had no hair under my arms or on my body besides the patch of hair just above the privates. I was in love with sports and the outdoors. Friends came naturally to me and I surrounded myself with them, although I was only very close to a select few.
The 9th grade is a great place to learn about your sexuality, if you are hetero that is. The dating game begins way earlier but this is where sex comes into play. 14 yearolds can be quite sex crazed, but not me, no I was easily excited true but I found that my hand took care of this quite easily. So I didn't really chase the girls around, and the majority of my friends were of the same sex. Being an athlete alot of my friends were athletes and good looking too. I found myself thinking sexually more of my male friends than any of the girls they were always talking about. I played along though and talked about how gorgeous this girl was and how I'd like to go out with that pretty one over there. I actually felt that girls were a waste of time.
My masturbation fantasies became more about guys then girls, and the homoerotic fantasies became more satisfying. Still my first time was with a girl. She decided she liked me and asked me out, so I obliged her. Hey what did I know? Maybe I would like it! Well it was kind of a flop of a relationship, but we had sex. It was quite awkward, more a tangled couple of bodies than real sex. After awhile the relationship ended and I began to wonder what I really wanted.
I can't believe it. I'm pissed off. My brother Alex and his friend Tim want to have the basement again. It's my turn to have the basement, they slept there last night. The basement is the best spot to have a sleepover because it has two couches and a TV. My friend Sean is over here for the night too and I'd like the basement for the both of us.
"Come on Alex, you guys got to sleep down here last night." I say. I come up with an easy solution because it IS my turn. "Alex you guys can stay down here and watch the movie but Sean and I get the couches to sleep on. Tim can have my bed to sleep in and you sleep in your's." Not ideal for my brother but he agrees to it.
"Ok Ryan, but you're lucky we don't beat your ass and take over this joint," says Alex. He could do it too. He's a junior in highschool, a football player. 6'1, 180 lbs and he packs a mean punch. He only beats me up when I'm annoying him though so it's all good. Alot of people say I am like a smaller version of him except for the fact that he has brown eyes and mine are blue.
Tim laughs at my brothers comment and tries to look mean and threatening. He's a football player too but he's a kicker. He is about the nicest guy you will ever meet. Easy going and helpful. I talk to him and my brother alot if I have any problems in school or whatever. Tim is 5'10, and about 160 lbs. He's got blond hair and blue eyes. His hair is not long but not really short either. It's kind of curly too. Tim is a senior and 18 while my brother is 17 and a junior.
My friend Sean is sitting back letting me do the talking. He's the quiet type. Maybe that's why I like him, who knows. He's 5'8 and 140 lbs. He's got longer brown hair, cut at about his ears. Brown eyes too. I met him when we played for the same soccer team a few years back. Then he was in my class in school too. We kind of hit it off and have been buds ever since.
I pop the movie in the vcr and let her play. It's 2 hour action flick. By the time it's over Sean is asleep in one couch and I'm falling asleep in the other. Tim and my brother decide it's time for bed, my brother turns off the TV and heads upstairs. The only light on is a nightlight that dimly lights the room.
"Hey Tim rewind that tape and hit the power on the VCR please, I'm goin to bed I'm beat. You can crash in my little brothers room." Alex calls behind him.
"Ok, no prob" replys Tim softly. He presses the rewind button and watches my brother head upstairs.
I'm kind of between dream and reality because of the lame movie we got but I can still tell that Tim's looking at me in the semi-darkness. I just pretend to be asleep, that's my usual response when someone is looking at me when they think I'm asleep. I've seen Tim look at me sleeping before, so it's no big deal. I think it's because he's an only child and he always wanted a sibling. I guess I'm sort of like a younger brother to him, or I could be wrong.
The VCR stops rewinding and Tim hits the power button. He begins to head up the stairs but stops in the doorway. Then he turns around and comes back in the room standing between the TV and my couch. I'm still pretending to be asleep but I'm thinking "what the hell?" and I am awake. The way I'm laying with my blanket is such that my lower torso is uncovered by the blanket, most of the blanket is lying on the floor. I'm wearing a T-shirt and some shiny soccer shorts that I like. No boxers under them because they are kind of like silk boxers themselves. I have to resist the urge to move as he's looking at me, I feel sort of like a deer in the headlights, not sure what to do.
Tim approaches me slowly and taps me on the shoulder, and whispers "Ryan?". He awaits a reaction to him saying my name. He looks at Sean to see if he is moving, which he must not have been. Sean is a notoriously sound sleeper, Tim knows this. He also knows that I am rather tough to wake up myself. I would normally respond to his saying my name but for some reason I just pretend to be asleep. I sort of feel afraid to move.
"Ryan?" he says, nudging my shoulder a bit more. I still give him no reaction.
I have my eyes closed but I can feel Tim on my left. I wish he'd just let me go to sleep, maybe I should have answerred him. What does he want anyways?
Suddenly I feel Tim's hand on my stomach just above the waist band on my soccer shorts. I almost cringed when he touched me but I managed to stay still. Now my minds racing. Tim is slowly pulling my T-shirt up and away from the waist band of my soccer shorts. I feel the cold air touch my belly as he pulls the T-shirt up about 6 inches.
At this point Tim stops and pauses for a moment. I open my eyes slightly and see him looking down at where my shorts end about 5 inches from my knee. The shorts are a pretty high cut. Now I know what he's thinking. He's looking for the easiest route to my cock.
Tim places his hand near my knee and slowly slides his hand up, up, up. His hand enters under my shorts and Tim gets on his knees to angle his hand in deeper. I feel his hand slide along my inner thigh and farthur into my groin area. He stops and looks at my face for some sort of sign that I'm awake. I give him none, I'm almost paralyzed, I'm a little afraid. I'm also becoming a little aroused.
Tim begins feeling around in my shorts and I can feel his fingers going through my pubic hair. He moves his probing fingers a bit lower and finds my cock which is now semi-hard. His warm hand fondles my cock but there's not much room to jack me off in so he just uses his finger tips to manipulate the foreskin of my uncut penis until I have a massive erection.
Tim withdraws his hand through the way he came, the left leg of my shorts. Now he works his fingers under the elastic band of my shorts and pulls them away from my body and then down. He only pulls them down about 3 inches to reveal half my 5.5 inch hard on. I can feel the back of my shorts stretching on my back and wanting to go down but I'm lying on them so they won't move. I don't think this would wake me up if I was really asleep, I'm glad I'm awake even though is alot for a 14 year old boy to take in.
Now Tim is using his left hand to pull my shorts further down and away from my body so he can get his right hand in and have enough space to properly masturbate me. He gently raps his right hand's fingers around my cock. He closes his fist around it and slowly moves it up and down. He begins to increase the speed of his hand's up and down motion. My god it feels good. He is really gripping it tight and it rubs the tip of my cock as it slides up and down.
Tim stops moving his hand and pulls down on my cock, pulling back the foreskin. He's still pulling my shorts open with his left hand. He puts his face down to my cock and takes the tip into his mouth. It's really warm and he moves his tongue around the tip and underneath. He does this for a bit and it's driving me wild. I am fighting the urge to squirm for fear that he might stop. The feeling is intense and I'm close to cumming. Tim takes his mouth away from my cock and replaces it with his right hand once again. My cock is spasming a little so Tim picks up the pace realizing that I am going to cum. I can't take anymore and my cock begins to spasm and I moan slightly. If Tim thinks that I might be awake or waking up he doesn't show it. He quickly puts his head down to my crotch again and kept masturbating me quickly. I am watching him do this now. His hand is gliding up and down my shaft at a furious pace. My butt flexes and my cock twitches. The first shot of cum hits Tim in the face and quickly he puts his lips over my cock to catch the rest of the load. My cock continues to shoot, pumping load after load into his mouth. I am moaning slightly. After the fifth massive spasm my cock starts to go into little spasms. Tim continues swirling his tongue around the tip and lapping up all the cum he can get.
After a good 30 seconds I am soft and he replaces my cock close to it's original position and let's my shorts elastic band return to it's normal position as well. After that I watch him through half closed eyes put a finger to his face and scrape up the cum I shot there. He licks his finger and heads upstairs. To masturbate no doubt. I may follow him but I'm tired and wondering what exactly just happened, and what to do about it.
End