Where Can We Go From Here - CHAPTER 28**
CHAPTER 28 -
**
Brian met Leighanne at their shared house. It was a Sunday. He needed to talk to her before going back to Florida with the boys. They were already planning on working on their fourth album as soon as Kevin got back from his honeymoon. And Brian from his.
"I'm so glad you are here!" - Leighanne was saying.
"Yes, baby. I think we need to talk about our wedding. Its more than in time. We need several days to get everything perfect. We need the license, your dress, the arrangements, the buffet..." - Brian began smiley.
"Oh, God! I can't believe we are gonna be together forever, Brian!" - Leighanne exclaimed sitting on his lap.
And she really couldn't. How could she be so lucky? Brian was her ticket in the lottery. And this marriage was her prize. She loved seeing her pics in sites and magazines, she loved being contacted for filming. She loved being someone.
"Yes... I'm going back to Florida tomorrow, and you can start things up. I know women love to take care of this part!" - Brian sighed heavily and she giggled.
"Ok, honey. I want the best dress and best church too! Everything has got to be perfect, as we deserve of course. I was thinking of a black rolls royce to drive me there. And then all the glamour of the party and outfits..." - Leighanne began to dream.
Brian looked at her and kept a deep sigh from coming up. Leighanne just cared too much about looks and, as his grandma liked to say, keeping up with the Joneses. Why did this all have to matter? Oh, if they were getting married let her have it her way then. He couldn't complain. Maybe Brian would never know the real way Leighanne LOVE$$$$$$$$ him.
"Everything you want, darling. If you need Kevin's wife opinion..."
"Oh, Kristin just likes it simple. She doesn't have a good taste for the fancy things I want in my wedding."
Brian sighed.
"Anything that pleases you, baby. You know we can afford." - Brian smiled and tightened his hands around her waist.
Leighanne grinned.
"We are gonna be so happy, darling! Our life will be perfect! I can't wait to talk to mom and ask her to help me with the details."
"Oh, your mom will love to do that." - Brian said.
"Awww!" - Leighanne nuzzled on Brian's nose and they kissed softly. - "I love you baby."
"I love you too." - Brian said a little too fast.
On Monday afternoon Brian and Nick were back with each other.
"Hey! So, how went the weekend with family?" - Nick asked in front of Howie and AJ.
"Oh, it was great. I really miss them a lot..." - Brian wondered whether or not he should tell Nick about his visit to Leighanne. 'No', he thought. It was for better that he didn't say a thing.
"Thats cool, I missed my old man too, and my mom and sisters and Aaron as well!" - Nick laughed.
AJ and Howie weren't really paying attention to them. Nick's eyes were shinning. He was almost screaming through his eyes he wanted to be alone with him. He wanted to touch, to hug him... he wanted to tell Brian he loved him.
Brian heard his silent screams and smiled. God... he loved Nick... just so much! He couldn't even think of what he was gonna do to him. He knew he had to tell him, but right now he didn't have the guts. He'd have to grow some balls before telling the person he loved he would be marrying someone else. Someone that he knew Nick didn't like much.
"Er, Frack...! Come on here, I wanna show you something." - Brian winked to Nick and the other fellas didn't even look at them.
Nick grinned and followed Brian to his room.
Once they were in Brian locked the door and Nick could finally melt into his arms. They hugged for several minutes in silence. Nick nuzzled on Brian's neck to breath his scent. The more minutes passed by the more Brian tightened his arms around Nick. He had to be strong not to cry. He had to deny the blood in his veins not to break down.
"Huhhhm..." - Nick sighed.
Brian tried to let go of their embrace but Nick protested.
"Please don't! Hold me, Brian! I missed you... I can no longer live without you."
Brian held him with more strength and smoothed his hair, his neck, his face...
"I love you so much, Nick!" - Brian exclaimed kissing his cheek.
Nick finally loosened their hug and smiled.
"I love you too, Brian. Why are looking at me so weirdly?" - Nick said running first the palm and later that soft part of his hands over Brian's face.
"I just missed you too."
They smiled and kissed softly. A simple kiss could tell so much...! They pulled apart and stared at each other. Their eyes were a mirror through which they could see themselves.
"Don't worry, Brian... I'm no longer afraid. I know we are gonna be together. I love you with all my heart, my life belongs to you... For this reason I can't see a future without you. I'm confident. I trust you."
Brian hid his head on Nick's chest.
The blond smiled and lifted Brian chin.
No more words were said before their lips met again. The soft nibbling became passionate and soon their tongues were touching, sliding in and out of each other's mouths. Their embrace tightened again and they used their tongues to explore everything inside the warm and wet mouths. They brushed their tongues together, licking the tip of them slowly to taste the sweetness of each other.
That was one of those moments when the world could just stop spinning. It would have been worth it.
Five days later Kevin came back from his honeymoon. He was with Kristin at a hotel in Miami while the other fellows were sharing an apartment. They all got together at this apartment to welcome Kevin back. During hours they talked about their trip and all the things they saw and did.
They couldn't help but feeling wonderful with their happiness. The couple seemed to be shinning. Nick was extremely happy, he knew what they were feeling. He glanced at Brian. He knew what it felt like to be with your true love. Your soul mate.
Brian caught him staring and moved to sit beside him. As they kept talking and laughing, enjoying the details of Kevin and Kristin's honeymoon trip, Brian and Nick's hands secretly met behind their backs, and as they loved to do they let their fingers intertwine and brush softly together. They kept playing with their fingertips, touching slightly, forcefully sometimes. Sharing this bond. Showing this affection. Living this love.
During the next couple of weeks Brian talked to Leighanne through the phone. During the weekends he would fly to where she was and they talked about the last details. Everything was practically ready by August 26th.
At the same time everything was almost done with Leighanne and her family, and Brian and his family, his friends didn't know a thing. Brian knew he had to tell them. He knew he had to talk to Kevin, and thats what he was doing right now.
Brian asked to talk to him and Kevin set up an hour when Kristin wouldn't be home, so that they could talk calmly at his hotel room.
"So, Brian... I've been wondering, you wanna talk to me about your wedding, right?"
Brian looked amazed at him.
"How do you know it?"
"Oh, cousin... come on! The month is almost on its end, I was already asking myself whether or not you had given up this wedding. You haven't talked much about it. Unless of course you plan on marrying her at the end of next month."
"Not really." - Brian said. - "I was thinking about the beginning. The very beginning."
"Next week? Oh, my God! Thats gonna be awesome!"
"Yes! Leighanne and I decided for September second. Its a Friday."
"Oh, cousin! This is so great! First me and now you getting married! I can't wait to talk about this with the guys."
"Kevin... thats what I wanted to talk about. I'm gonna tell you everything, give you all the details for the wedding and stuff. I want you to help me out with the arrangements, ok?"
"Sure, Brian!" - Kevin made gestures.
"And the next thing is... Well, I really want you to tell Howie and AJ the news. I want them to know and get ready for next Friday. Now about Nick... I would really appreciate if neither of you said anything to him. I want to tell Nick personally. Just please, make sure none of you make any remarks in front of him. Just... just take him to the wedding in the right day. Or night... Yeah, thats it. Just take him with you. Don't tell him where he is going."
Kevin gave him a funny look.
"Why that, cuz?"
"Erm... I, I want to surprise Nick.. I wanna ask him right there to be my best man. Thats why I don't want him to know anything. I'll tell him about the wedding, but please don't even mention it in front of him!"
Kevin opened a huge smile.
"Of course, Brian! Whatever you want. I'll tell the guys and make sure neither AJ nor Howie will open their big mouths and let the cat out of the bag."
Brian giggled.
"Thanks, cousin." - Brian smiled and kept a thoughtful face.
"What? What is it?"
"What is it like to be a married man?" - Brian asked smiling.
"Oh!" - Kevin laughed loud, so proud and happy for his cousin. - "Its wonderful man. Really! Waking up everyday holding in your arms the person you love!" - Kevin shook his head dreamily.
'Waking up everyday holding Nick...' - Brian thought and smiled.
"Then doing everything together, laughing together, just doing the silliest and normal things we do daily. But its all different. Imagine, Brian! Looking at that smile always close to you... having that touch and arms always ready and open for you..." - Kevin sighed happily.
Brian was almost crying in happiness. For some minutes he really allowed himself to believe he was marrying Nick. Yeah, Nick! Why not? Waking up everyday with those blue eyes matching his own. Doing everything together, laughing, the way they always do! And having always those arms opened for him to melt into. And that touch... so soft, so good... That touch that could make the world around flee. That love that could make his heart beat faster and his eyes shine. Yes, he could picture heaven. But this was real life, heaven came for those whom pass away. And he was alive.
"God, Kevin..." - Brian sighed. - "Is it that good?"
"Yes. When you love the person, when you are sure about it, its heaven." - he said warmly as if reading his thoughts.
Brian smiled and felt that bitter taste with his taste buds. Perfection was so close... yet so far! Was it really fair? Would Nick ever forgive him? Brian knew he still had time to change his mind. But would he? Nah... he was the good country boy. He had been taught fine by the rules of God and church to preserve the union of the family.
So, guess it was a mistake. Falling in love with Nick. For the rest of his life loving a person he could not have. Because Nick was a part of his soul and he kept his heart. But maybe now it wasn't the time to think about this anymore. It was good while it lasted. At least in real world it had to end someday.
"I'm sure you are ready for this, Brian. What about a bachelor's party?" - Kevin teased raising his eyebrows. He knew Brian would never agree with such thing.
"No! No way, Kevin... I don't want one. Leighanne would kill me if so." - Brian shook his head and Kevin giggled. - "Besides theres is Nick. You know how I want everything to be a secret."
"Oh, ok. Forget what I said. Now please go on and tell me the details you and Leigh prepared!"
"Sure... I'll tell ya everything Kevin. This wedding is gonna be 'da bomb'." - Brian joked.
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