Disclaimer:

First of all, let me apologise for the delay in presenting this next chapter. My email site was being upgraded and I haven't been able to access it since. So I'm reverting back to an older email service which now seems to be much more stable. Unfortunately, if you've written to the fiberia account, I have no way of accessing it at present. So please write to me at this indabox account.

Chapter 51 is the next chapter in an ongoing story about Stephen Gately from Boyzone and Eloy de Jong, formerly of Caught in the Act. I have no contact, with either gentleman or group, so these chapters exist within the imagination of the author's mind, combined with public events that happened during this time.

Cheers,

Musicfan

A few days later, the group flew to Las Vegas, all having a great time on the flight there. The attendants were tolerant of their antics, which was a good thing, considering the silly way they acted. When they disembarked from the plane, the sun had just set, the desert air beginning to chill. They were relieved after the heat from New York and set about checking into their hotel on the Las Vegas strip. The group was amazed at the gaudy nature of the city, but fascinated at the same time. It was a far cry from anything they had ever seen in either England or Ireland, and they were like kids in a store, gawking from one sight to the next.

Ronan had suggested that they pull out all the stops and book themselves in a nice hotel. When they had stopped by a travel agent in New York, the woman there had suggested Caesars Palace as the place to stay. Ronan took her at her word and made sure they all had nice rooms near each other when he booked their trip. Stephen knew it was worth it when he saw the girls' faces as they stepped out of the limousine at the entrance to the hotel. He grinned at Ronan who was watching his wife walk around the lobby with delight as they headed over to the registration desk. It didn't take them long to get their room keys and after declining the services of a bellhop, the clerk pointed out the direction to the elevators, wishing them a pleasant stay.

"Have you ever heard such noise?" Lisa asked, looking at the rest of them as they walked past the entrance to the casino on their way to the elevators. The cacophony of bells, music and the clanging of the slot machines echoed off the marble interior of the lobby. "I think Disney would be quieter!" They laughed as they entered the lift for their floor, nodding to other people who entered it with them. Everyone else had gotten off at various floors before they found themselves on the top floor. Keith whistled softly as the doors closed behind them. It was fairly obvious to all of them how opulent the hotel was, and how exclusive the floor they were on seemed to be. A gentleman came from behind a desk, smiling politely and offering to lead them to their suites.

"Hello, and welcome to Caesar's Palace. My name is David, and I will be your concierge this evening. If you would kindly follow me, Mr. Keating, Mr. Duffy," he said softly while indicating the way. "I also can show you to your suite, Mr. Gately and Mr. Delves." Stephen had to look away because the look on everyone's faces was priceless. Seeing Alex's look of pure lust as he followed the man down the hallway had him in hysterics, and he didn't want to be the one to make them look any more out of place than they all felt already.

Silently, they followed the concierge down the hall, each of them marveling at something that grabbed their attention, whether it was the elaborate friezes above in the ceiling, the paintings which lined the walls, or just the general atmosphere of understated wealth, it wasn't anything any of them were used to experiencing.

At the first door, the concierge opened the double doors with a flourish and indicated the rooms within with a smile. "Mr. Gately and Mr. Delves?" Stephen stepped forward with a nod, trying to make it look like he came to places like this every day. He was grateful that the concierge didn't seem to think that their casual clothing was anything out of place as the man handed him and Alex their room keys, gesturing inside.

"Thank you," Stephen said with a smile. "We'll see the rest of you later, yeah?" They all nodded, unable to voice anything and he and Alex entered their room, carrying their baggage with them.

"Holy shit," Alex said after the door had closed behind them. Stephen could only echo his words as they looked around the rooms appointed to them. Rooms as in plural, since they were in a small entry hall that had other rooms leading off to either side. In front of them was a small living room with a massive television and stereo, as well as a rather large table off to one side for entertaining. Alex dropped his bag and walked across the room to look out the window. "Wow."

"What?" Stephen asked, putting his own bag down before joining Alex at the window. They looked out onto a complex of Roman grottos, replete with waterfalls and gardens. They could also see off in the distance the stretch of desert. Stephen turned back to the room and shook his head. "And this is the smaller of the suites, you know."

"It is?" Alex asked in amazement. "What the hell was Ronan thinking?"

"He figured we might as well enjoy ourselves," Stephen said absently, poking around the room before opening up a door and seeing where it led. One room opened to a large gilded bathroom with a shower and separate Jacuzzi tub. Stephen stared at the tub for a long moment, drawn back to the last time he had been in a room with one before turning away with a small sigh and checking out the other room. It was a large bedroom with two queen beds, a television and chairs by the large window. "Not too bad," he said, happy it wasn't so big that they were going to rattle around in it together.

Alex joined him and they explored the closets and amenities before hearing a knock on their door. Alex opened it to reveal a grinning Ronan, who entered and closed the door behind him.

"Yve's in shock," he crowed, rubbing his hands together. "This is going to be perfect!" He looked around their room to see what it looked like. "This isn't too bad, actually. I think I overdid it with the other rooms, though."

"How, may one ask, can you overdo this?" Alex asked dryly as he pointed to a naked cherub sitting on a pedestal near the doorway. Stephen laughed in response as he sat down on the sofa.

"Check out my suite later, once Yvonne's recovered from the shock," Ronan said with a laugh as he made his way to sit down next to Stephen. "What do you think, Steo? Think we can pull this one off?"

"Absolutely," Stephen affirmed, nodding his head. Ronan grinning and threw an arm around Stephen's shoulders, hugging him lightly. "This will be perfect."

A little while later, Yvonne showed up to look around their suite and then dragged Alex and Stephen back to her and Ronan's suite to show them around. It was much more opulent than the one they had, and the luxurious setting they were all in amazed them. Everyone agreed to dress up for dinner and to find a nice place to go. The others went back to their own suites to freshen up and Stephen dragged his bag into the bedroom to unpack. He had several nice outfits to wear that he had brought with him, and he started the shower in the bathroom so he could hang the clothes there and get the wrinkles out. Alex joined him, hanging his own clothes on a hook there before saying he might as well as not waste the water and that he was going to take a shower. Stephen went to the main room where he turned on the television and flipped through the dials for a while. Once Alex was finished, he took his own leisurely shower, taking his time washing up.

When he came out of the bathroom, Alex told him that Keith had called to tell them what time to meet before heading downstairs, and that they had reservations at a restaurant the concierge, David, had recommended. Alex also told him that his mobile had been ringing while he was in the shower, and that it had taken all of his will power not to answer it. Stephen laughed as he crossed the room and picked up his mobile. He was glad that he had the international service so he could switch modes depending on what area of the world he was in. It made him feel better to know that his family could reach him if they needed to, especially where he was on the road so much. He checked his messages and started to brush his hair as he got ready to dress. He paused in the act as he heard Eloy's voice on one of the messages. Eloy didn't say much other than to hope he was having a good time and that he would be hard to reach himself over the next few days as his group went on a fast paced tour through Asia. Stephen replayed the message again, just wanting to hear Eloy's voice again. He stifled a sigh as he shut off the mobile, feeling like Eloy was even farther away than ever. He knew Alex was watching him, so he made an effort not to appear down as he put down the phone.

"Anyone interesting?" Alex asked, watching him from across the room.

"They're all interesting, if they're calling me," Stephen said noncommittally as he rubbed the towel over his head to dry it off. "Just the usual."

"Mmmm, I see," Alex said as he turned away and went to get their clothes out of the bathroom. He laid Stephen's dress pants and shirt out on the bed before putting his own on, primping at the mirror to make sure everything was right. Stephen shook his head ruefully, knowing it was going to be hard to keep anything from Alex with the two of them spending so much time together.

However, apparently Alex knew when to hold off, because he didn't say another word as they got ready for dinner. Stephen was grateful for the respite. They left their suite, meeting up with the others and went out for a night on the town. Their first stop was the the MGM Grand Hotel, which was the Wolfgang Puck restaurant. They felt quite posh walking past the queue and getting seated right away. People turned and stared at the well-dressed group and they all managed to stay somewhat dignified as they followed the maitre'd through the entrance and to their table. The concierge had told them that it was a very good restaurant and that this was the best out of them all in the area. David had said that he had connections, so he was able to get them a late dinner reservation. They were appreciative of his efforts, and had an enjoyable meal together at the restaurant. Their waiter was quite attentive, making sure that their every need was met and they had a nice leisurely dinner together. After their meal, they decided to wander around the shops in the hotel before heading onto the casino floor for a little fun. Stephen especially had a wonderful time. He loved the bright lights and all the action of the casino, wanting to play each of the games, though his cautious nature wouldn't allow him to drop too much money at any one game.

The group split up as the girls wanted to play the slot machines while Ronan and Stephen were interested in the blackjack tables. Both Ronan and Stephen had a grand time enjoying the attentions of the waitresses who were serving drinks as they played, but they had agreed ahead of time to stop once they had spent what they were going to spend and they left the table to find the others.

When they finally met up, Alex had left them for the lure of a nightclub and both women were sitting down at a table with their drinks watching the people go by. Keith had wandered over to a craps table and they could hear him shouting as he shook the dice and tossed them, hoping for a win. The excited squeal coming from one end told them the result as Keith took a bow. Ronan eventually wandered over to see how he was doing, and after a while persuaded him to leave the table and come back to the rest of the group.

By this time the rest of them were dragging, having had the long flight and equally long night out together. They agreed that there would be another night that they could go out and decided to head back to their hotel.

"What about Alex?" Lisa asked, looking around to see what nightclub he might have went off to.

"Alex is a grown lad, he can find his way back home," Stephen said dryly. He knew that the last thing Alex would want is the group of them trouping around looking for him. Lisa looked at him pensively for a moment before smiling in acknowledgement and nodding. Together they made their way out of the casino and caught a taxicab back to their hotel for the night. They were all pretty subdued as they made their way into the hotel and up to their floor, the late hour finally catching up with them.

At the door to his suite, Stephen bid everyone goodnight and headed into the room, closing the door with a sigh. While he had had a lot of fun, he found that he was getting a headache from the noise of the slot machines that were constantly ringing in the background. It was a blessed relief to be in the relative quiet of the suite by himself. He pulled off his jacket and tie, loosening his shirt and wandered around, slowly hanging up his clothes as he disrobed. He was more than ready for bed by the time he finished and paused at the bar to get a bottle of water before heading off to bed.

He stopped when he saw his mobile on the table and considered leaving a message for Eloy. He started to turn away but moved back and picked the mobile up. Dialing in the number he knew by heart, he calculated the time difference and realised that it was already the next morning there.

When the machine picked up, Stephen decided to leave a message for the next time Eloy checked it.

"Hey, E. Sorry I missed you. I was in the shower earlier, but I wanted to leave you a message in case you haven't left yet for your road trip. We're here in Las Vegas now, and so far it's been absolutely incredible. I wish you could be here to share it with me. I have this incredible Jacuzzi tub and no one I want to share it with here." Stephen paused for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. "In case you do get this, have a wonderful tour. I hope it goes well for you and that you don't tire yourself out too much. Take care of yourself and get enough rest. I know how bad the time change can be. Anyhow, I better go, it's late here. Talk to you soon." He quietly powered down the mobile, wanting to say so much more and forcing himself not to. It wouldn't do to start up things again where they were both constantly frustrated. Despite what Alex had told him, he knew that he was doing the best thing possible for them all.

He put the mobile in the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed and crawled under the covers after shutting off the light. He lay in the dark, staring up at the ceiling as he imagined a life where he and Eloy could be free to spend time together without worries. He thought back to the evening just passed, as well as the past week in New York, wondering what it would have been like to have Eloy by his side to plan Keith's proposal rather than Alex. The idea of a future like he imagined seemed to be an impossible dream, and he closed his eyes as he felt tears forming. He swore softly, knowing that there was no use in crying, but he felt so trapped by the circumstances he found himself that he wanted to cry out in anger at the role he had to play. It just didn't seem fair that he couldn't live his life the way he wanted. There were too many people who depended on him to hold his secret, even when they urged him otherwise.

He rolled over to his side, wrapping his arms around himself as he lay there in the dark. He willed his tears away, feeling there was no need for them. He had made his decision and he was going to stand by it. There was no place for a personal relationship of the kind he wanted in his life, and he was just going to have to accept it as a fact. His body didn't obey his resolution and he could feel the wetness of his tears flowing down his cheeks. Deep down inside, he knew that no matter how many times he told himself, that he wasn't going to be satisfied with anything but a continuation of his relationship with Eloy. He loved him too much to turn away without regrets.

He ended up crying himself to sleep, glad that Alex hadn't come back to the hotel room. He knew he wouldn't have been able to hold it back from him. He rolled over so that he was facing away from the door, and slowly drifted off to sleep, his arms clutching empty air while he imagined Eloy there beside him.

#

It wasn't for several days that Eloy was able to check his messages at home. By that time he was in Jakarta after a long day of promotion. He had decided to check his messages just to see if anyone had called and had had to replay Stephen's message a couple of times, because he was just so tired, he kept on losing focus. Though Stephen's comment about having a Jacuzzi in his room and no one to share it got his attention quickly enough. The other messages were from friends wishing him luck on his trip, and he quickly skipped past them, all other messages being an anticlimax after Stephen's message.

He hung up the receiver with a sigh, leaning back against the headboard. At times he felt like things were just impossible, then Stephen would leave a message that made him realise that it wasn't. He knew that it was as equally hard on Stephen, if not more so. Their decision hadn't been made at all lightly, and he knew it was only a matter of time until it broke. They couldn't live like this, in denial of what they had. He knew that Stephen was in a constant fear of him turning away from him, but he knew that such wasn't going to be the case. There was no way he could turn away from the incredible love he had for Stephen, and that whatever it would take, he would be patient. He also knew how impossible it was for either of them to contemplate a serious relationship with them both heading off in different directions the way they were.

A knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts, and he got up to open the door. Lee came in, complaining that he had no hot water in his room, and wanted to use Eloy's shower. Eloy told him he could, and sat back on the bed again while Lee went in to use the bathroom. He got lost in his thoughts again, not noticing when the water got shut off, or when Lee came out with a towel wrapped around his narrow waist. It wasn't until he felt motion on the bed as Lee sat down beside him that he was pulled out of his reverie and he looked over at his friend.

"E, you look like you're a long way from here," Lee said, looking at his friend closely. He knew that Eloy had been distracted a lot lately, but he had acted like it was totally out of it when Lee had entered the room earlier, and hadn't even noticed when he had come out of the shower.

"Do I?" Eloy asked vaguely, not noticing Lee's penetrating look. "I was just thinking of something, is all."

"That something wouldn't be that man you're interested in, would it?" Lee asked, tossing caution to the wind. He knew that Eloy didn't have anyone to talk to about things going on in his life, and E had certainly been there for him when he was going through his own problems earlier this year. He felt he owed it to his friend to lend him a shoulder if he needed it.

Eloy turned to look at him after he asked his question. "Why would you say that?"

"Let's see, we've been going non stop for... how long has it been now? When was the last time you got to spend any time with your friend?" Lee stared at him a moment, nodding as he saw Eloy drop his gaze. "It's not the most ideal environment to have a relationship, E. It can be a lonely place, keeping yourself apart on the road. I just want you to know that if you need someone to lend an ear, that I'm here for you."

Eloy sighed, knowing that Lee had read him correctly. "You know how it can be. It doesn't help he has his own career that is keeping him busy, either. I think if it were just me, we could work around the problems. But with two schedules going in different directions..." Eloy looked up from where he was toying with a pulled thread on the duvet. "Sometimes it feels impossible."

"If you're meant to have a relationship, it will happen. If not, then perhaps maybe you should take the obstacles as a sign that it isn't supposed to happen," Lee ventured softly. Eloy looked at him, stricken by the echo of the same thought that had been going through his own mind. "The question is, how long can you go on being patient?"

Eloy thought about the question that had been plaguing him. Spoken by someone else, it was one he couldn't avoid. "As long as I have to," he said, knowing in his heart that what he said was true.

Lee smiled at him then. "Well then, don't dwell on it, then. You know that the two of you being together isn't going to happen in the nearby future. Don't let it eat at you, then. Just accept it, and when the time is right, you'll know."

Eloy returned his smile. "When did you get to be so wise about love?" Lee laughed at his question, shrugging his answer. Happy he had gotten Eloy to think about it, he again offered to be a listening ear if Eloy needed it, and then announced that he was going to get dressed and then drag Eloy downstairs for dinner. He told Eloy he had better be ready, and he wasn't going to allow for him getting lost in thought about things. Eloy laughingly agreed, getting off the bed to take a shower as Lee went into the room next door to change.

He felt strangely good about their conversation. Though it was nothing in particular that Lee said, it just helped him get things back into perspective. He thought about telling his friend about what had been going on, but didn't want to burden him with stuff like that. Lee had his own worries.

He was ready to go when Lee knocked on the door again, just finishing adding some gel to his hair. He opened the door and stepped outside, patting his pocket to make sure that his key was there. Though one of their security would be able to let him in if he forgot. Patrick was his constant shadow on this tour, and he knew that the other man was watching out for him.

"All set?" Lee asked. Eloy nodded, falling into step next to his friend as they made their way downstairs to the dining room of the lavish hotel. After so many weeks on tour together, they tended to gravitate into groups of two, with Ben and Bas off on their own for most of the time. Eloy and Lee didn't mind, as they were happy enough being out with the fans. Ben was more often joining them than not, but Bas tended to get very insular on tour, hiding away in his room. Eloy didn't see the point in that, because the whole point of getting out there on tour was to be seen by people. He really enjoyed meeting all their fans, no matter where they went, and his remarkable memory for languages also extended to names and faces, and fans were always shocked when he could talk to them, remembering their names from the last trip. He knew he often got looks of amazement from his band mates when he did this, and he also knew how much it meant to the fans he did call out by name.

They spent a nice evening in the hotel restaurant, moving out to the lobby afterwards to chat with the fans that had respected their privacy during dinner. By the time they went back up to their rooms for the night, Eloy felt back on track with what was going on in his life, and he made the resolution that he was going to keep on going the way he had been. Lee was right. Eventually, it would work out. And being halfway around the world from Stephen right now wasn't something he had any control over. No use in dwelling on it at all.

He let himself into his room and went to bed, knowing they had an early start coming up the next morning. Briefly, he considered ringing Stephen, but knew that it would be just more of their constant phone tag of messages. He decided to let things be, at least for now.

As he lay back in his bed, arms behind his head, he stared up at the ceiling for a long moment replaying Stephen's message in his head. With a smile as he thought of their last encounter in a Jacuzzi, he rolled over and drifted off to sleep.