This is sort of a late revision of the first two parts. A friend of mine helped me a lot. I am working on the third part now. Thanks folks.
I must say that you must be of legal age in your country to read it and that you must not be offended by gay sex, love between men and such things.
You may reach me for any comments at sirakskitnik@eudoramial.com
Thanks. Hope you like it.
The small flickering candle was trying hard to lighten up the surrounding gloom but all it could was gasp in black smoke and flare up again with a yellow light that hurt the eyes.
That didn't seem to bother her, though, her hands twitching up and down in a fast steady rhythm at the top of a piece of knitting. The sweater was growing bigger and bigger like the thoughts in her head that wouldn't leave her alone and sent shudders over her delicate frame.
"Why isn't he home yet? It's almost midnight! Yes, they work him hard at the office but there must be something else..." He had called maybe but she wouldn't know. They'd cut the power first thing in the morning and the phone had gone dead...
... Oh, she'd had her fair share of fond dreams! Marry a young and handsome boy, have children, a nice home and all that. She never imagined she'd marry an army officer, move from one small garrison town to another and then, twenty years later, get a divorce. Demobbed! ...And her son, her son would turn out to be g...GAY! God, would she ever get used to it? Used to this! No... hardly. She could perhaps manage somehow to live with it, but accept it as something natural -- that she couldn't! Dave had never come out to her -- might she be wrong about him she wondered sometimes, with a sort of unbelieving hope. Were mothers ever wrong about their sons?... What had changed him so? Where had he gone, the charming, smiling boy she knew?
"Hey, you!" The boy, slumped in a far end seat, did not respond. "Dammit! There's another one of them young morons who think public transport's the best place to get stoned!
"Hey, lad, I'm talking to you! You still alive?!"
"Gotta call in the cops," the driver said to himself, not too sure about it. "Nah, they'd drag me to the police station with him, ruin all me plans for the night!"
"Cummon, wake up!" this time he almost yelled in the boy's face.
Today was different! No, not really, he had trouble concentrating, that's all. Hated the sight of those computers and the rest of the office shit! Couldn't wait for the day to end, rush upstairs and talk with Him!... "Funny, though! You meet someone -- hook up on the Net that is -- and then, not long after, without even knowing what you're doing, you start thinking about him as if he were a real person, not just a nick. God knows if that picture of his is real, for that matter. Could be anyone at the other end of the line. Could be... Wonder what his soft skin feels like -- hey, you don't know it's soft, now do you!..." He had a hard-on already.
"Dave?... Hey, Dave! Listen up, everybody, our IT expert here, David, must've fallen in love! You get the message, head-over-heals!"
"Huh... oh, yes, Boss, what? Love?"
"Yes, dummy, love! Cummon, what's her name this time? Margaret, Denise, or someone new?"
"BOSS!"
"Okay, I don't care who she is. Just watch it for me, will you! I need you here, not there. OK?... Oh, almost forgot, have you got her pic? Ha-ha-ha!"
He felt his entire face turn a deep red. And that silly dick of his slumped back in its usual place in his pants.
"Ahm... no... I... I'll be okay, Boss."
"You better be! See what you've got to show for yourself by the end of the week."
"Yes, Boss."
Not again! They could all read him like a book. It was quite obvious that he was there body but not soul! Couldn't get his mind off that boy. God, was he cute! Although, cute wasn't the right word. He was handsome -- as handsome does! Wondered what his voice would be like. Pity he lived such a hell of a distance away. Otherwise, he would've asked him on a date without a second thought. Or would he?...
In that cyberworld of his, at night, he was different. The way he really was. And he was spared that silly talk about girls! He could really open up, be himself, without the scare of so many faces sneering behind his back, tongues wagging, dripping with unctuous malice: 'Did you hear that...' -- 'No, you don't say!' -- 'But he is, had it in strict confidence from...' -- 'What, a fag?!'... The cool void of cyberspace was safe; hiding in the dark, he was his own master and he could choose his own time to shine!
Out there, in 'the real world'... His father knew and would have none of it, but he at least kept silent about it. His mother, did she know? She cared for him and that's what really worried him...
His fingers were dancing a feverish dance over the keyboard; his mind was swimming away into virtual reality again.
"Hey, Dave, wanna come grab a cup of coffee?"
"Huh, yeah, why not."
His co-workers! What the hell! As if he gave a damn... He hit Ctrl-Alt-Del to lock the screen and joined them to indulge in some 'male bonding'.
"Cummon, boy, wake up! I don't want any trouble, you hear me!"
"Ohm... Oh..."
"Easy now, everything's okay. Just get up and go home to get some real sleep, okay?" - "Phew, thank God he's only asleep!"
David slowly opened his eyes and was back on earth, the bus diver's face looming over his, looking really worried.
"Oh, I'm sorry Sir, I must've fallen asleep," he tried to calm down the driver, who was almost smiling with relief now.
"Boy, you scared the shit out of me! Don't do this again, will ya! This here ain't a sleeper, you know. I was ready to call in the cops!"
"No need, man!" Dave managed a grin, "Next time just shake me harder... And thanks, really!" he said still smiling as he jumped off the bus.
The driver watched him turn into a dark alley and thought that maybe, after all, he should have called in the police. But then, too much trouble, and anyway, he'd seen far worse characters get away with more than just falling asleep in the bus...
... She looked up from her knitting. She'd sensed him before she even heard the front door, then his steps in the hallway.
"Dave?"
"Hi, Mom! You still awake?"
"Was worried about you..."
"Oh, you know how it is..."
"You could've called on the phone."
"Hum..."
"What? One of your bad moods again?"
"Oh, cummon, Mom, stop it! Why start all over again? We've talked about this a thousand times and it's brought us nowhere! Just drop it, okay?"
"I was worried, that's all..."
"Yes, I know that! Good night."
"David, don't be so rude. Please, David..."
She knew he wasn't a bad boy. He just couldn't help himself acting like that. She wanted to help but didn't know how. She could tell he needed love. Sex? But if he was really... G... He had to do some... She shuddered again. Blew out the candle and slowly put her knitting away. The apartment was quiet; only the clock was ticking somewhere in the dark. She felt scared.
In the darkness, she found her way to her bedroom. No light was coming from under his door as she went past it. She thought she heard a whisper -- a sob? Her heart flinched but she knew she could not help -- he would not let her!
"Oh, Lord, in the name of Thy Son Jesus Christ," David was kneeling on the floor beside his bed, "please give me strength! I know, I deserve no mercy, but please, Lord, hear thy servant's prayer. Help me in this. I know that I've been bad... that I'm gay... But I do need your help! Do not forsake me, oh, Lord! Please hear me! Please!" he clenched his teeth to suppress a whimper as tears welled up in his eyes. "Thank you, Lord. Amen."
In his bed, he tried to go to sleep but his eyes would not obey. That face... he could still see that face. Those eyes, the mouth, the blond hair that fell over the forehead. He wanted it all in real -- now! Wanted to see for himself that it wasn't just a silly joke. Wanted to kiss him gently on the lips and...
"Excuse me, I could use one of your cigarettes, if you've got any."
"I'm sorry, I don't smoke."
"Ah, should've thought so! Just look at you! Some piece of college crap! A reg'lar bigot to be sure -- clean-cut but rotten inside. Deadwood!"
"Wow! What about you then! Just look at You!... Yeah, I might be a regular chick-cruiser on campus, scoring my A's by playing in the college football team and all that. But who are you to speak to me like that! You don't even know me!"
"Okay, okay, just cool it! Sorry, man, my name's ... I like to hang out here, haven't seen you before. My turf, I guess. Didn't expect any strangers."
"I'm David. Yeah, never been here before. Anyway, nice meeting you... Got to go now."
"Hey, wait, what's the rush! Today's Saturday, remember?... Don't go... please!" he gazed at David with hope.
"I'm not from town. Just passing. Came with the train this morning. You know, see what Varna's like, the Nation's Summertime Capital!" These eyes, so beautiful!... No, he mustn't let himself go!
"You can come stay at my place if you want. You're not catching the train back, are you?" the guy said with a mild mock... "Okay, I know we've only just met, but... I like you," he'd almost cut himself short, realising what he was about to say, but it was too late.
What? David couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Did he really hear that guy say he liked him?!
"I like you too," David blurted out before he could think twice.
The other's face lit up relieved.
"You coming?"
"Look, man, I don't want to disturb you or anything..."
"You won't! I live alone... Besides, I can show you the town... Did you say you'd never been here before?"
"Well, once, just passing..."
"So? Come along then!"
"Okay... You sure I won't be in the way, though?"
"Hey, I told you! You won't!" he gave David a hand and pulled him up from the bench.
That moment, when they first touched, seemed like the end of all time. They felt the warmth of each other's hand, their eyes met and lingered. A pair of brown eyes drinking deep of a pair of deep blue ponds -- deeper and deeper. A pair of blue melting into a pair of brown, taking in all their soft sadness. They stood there, still holding hands, not knowing where they were.
The guy leaned forward and kissed David on the lips...
Someone opened the window and a gust of cold morning air broke into the room.
"David, wake up!"
He slowly opened his eyes, thinking it was... What... What was his name? -- No chance! Just another dream; another day at work...
"Joseph, it's for you."
"Hey, Michael, how are you?... Yeah, I'm okay."
"Wanna come to my place tonight?"
"No, don't feel like it. Won't go out at all. Kind'a sleepy..."
"Got a surprise for you... Please?"
"Look, Michie... I'm really tired!"
"We could go to a disco -- dance your ass off and then sleep real well!"
"No way! You know I hate those places. The same old crowd!"
"What's come over you now? Is there..."
"No, there's no one. I still love you."
"Okay then, will call you tomorrow."
"Okay, bye."
Having sex with Michael today was the last thing Joseph wanted. He wanted sex alright, but not with Michael. There was no hurry either. He vaguely remembered that chat last night on the Net. Hm, did he say 7 inches? Sounded nice, real nice! After all, why not? It was just sex, wasn't it? Nothing else. That guy lived at the other end of the country, there could be nothing between them -- just 'a little' sex at weekends. Surely Michael meant more than that to him! It's just that sometimes he needed something different. Having someone else on the side wasn't a crime now, was it? Besides, he always used a condom!
His town was by the sea, one of the biggest in the country. He hated it most of the time, except for the summer season. The place was crawling with tourists -- plenty of fish, he thought with a naughty smile. Then again, it was all too much sometimes! He was aware of course of his great looks -- boy, was he a charmer! -- he could have anyone he fancied. On a bad day, he'd ask himself if the risk was worth it, but still, he could not stop. The thrill of kissing, undressing, reaching down for that hidden treasure -- he couldn't resist all that, not that he tried very hard either... The touch of a hard pulsating cock, the feel of it splitting him open was...NICE!... And all the difference, the variety there was: big, small, smooth, hairy; some of them full straight, some curved up, some curled down on one side, big balls hanging heavily between strong thighs, or small ones, so small they almost disappeared at the base of the shaft making it even thicker! ... Wearing all the latest in young fashion, clean-shaven, not a spot on his face, not a single hair between the sides of his open shirtfront, he was the perfect twink. Should he invite that capital guy? Hell, why not! After all, it was just a game, wasn't it!
The electrons in the network didn't care what information they carried. Back and forth, to and fro, one-to-one, many-to-many -- soul-to-soul? Did anyone care, for that matter, that behind the endless gibberish of naughts and ones was a young man desperately waiting for a small hiccup from his sound speakers: "User is on-line," bringing the happy news that another young man had showed up out there, at the other end of miles of cable and wiring, behind another keyboard!
IT: User is On-Line
He hardly waited for the message to disappear, before he sent his first: --
"Hi, Joseph," trying not to sound too excited.
"brb"
"? OK, I am here..."
<2 minutes -- 3 -- 5>
"re"
":) happy to c u!"
...
"How was your day today?"
"I'm OK. Too much work, though."
"Sorry to hear that."
"Do you like porn videos?"
"Haven't got a player :("
"What? U're tellin me u never watched one?!?"
"Nope."
"Well, do smth bout it!"
"I've got very few gay friends. In fact, I only know a few guys who are..."
"No b/f?"
"No."
"I have, but we fight too much, and sex is boring."
"Boring?"
"Yeah!"
"So, all u want is meat then? Like me! :)"
"Depends... :) Hey, why don't you come visit with me this weekend! See each other, what?"
"You mean come to Varna? To see you?"
"Yeah, why not! Here's my phone # 953/507 103. Call me, OK?"
"Well, I... I don't know what to say.."
"Say thanks :)) Gotta go now."
"Well, thanks."
"And don't be shy, OK? Think about it, but say yes :) Bye now."
"Oh....."
IT: Can't establish direct connection to user. Send through server?