Thanks everyone who has written me, your kind words have not gone unnoticed. I was requested to have a happy ending, so I did, I had a happy ending. So on the with the disclamer, no I don't know them, don't plan on saying their sexual orientations are what I believe, so don't believe this is God's honest truth. If you do, then you have more problems than you let yourself believe.
If your too young to read this, or are offended by this, what are you doing here in the first place, besides little ones, this web should be restricted, if not...tell your mommies....on with the story...for your enjoyment, and for the last time..here is part four, the last part of "while you loved me"...now I can finish the other one.
Part Four
Two months later*
Nick tumbled out of bed and hit the alarm clock, it was 9:00AM time to get up the clock said. Nick just layed there for awhile, wondering when Justin was going to wake up beside him, wondering when he was going to feel Justin's arm on him, begging him to make the pain stop, the first thing he always done in the morning. He waited for the sun to shine upon the angel's face that always occupied the bed beside him, he waited for the angel to complain that it was "hot" meaning the sun was on his face. His angel couldn't see, so when he felt heat, he knew it was day, and the sun was out. Nick pulled himself out of bed and decided to make coffee, a big pot, Justin enjoyed having coffee in the morning, he reminded himself he needed to pick up his and Justin's tuxes from the cleaners today. He sat down at the table, a quiet moment, a moment to remember the happiest day of his life, and the week that followed. He and Justin went on a honeymoon, for about a week, just to enjoy themselves and eachother. The pain seemed to subside for a week, and aside from the wheelchair, Justin was Justin again.
Nick smelled the coffee, and realized it was almost done, and walked over to the counter, he went to get two cups down, and it hit him......he only needed one. He looked at the table and saw the flowers in the middle, and no place mats, he remembered he took them off, if he was only going to have one, he wasn't going to have any. The tears stung his eyes, as he started to get angry again, he grabbed the cup of coffee, and threw it against the wall, walking out of the kitchen. For a month now he had been living in denial, comforting everyone else, and never realizing that he was really gone. He walked into the living room, he had bought a new couch, and put the old one upstairs, in ....his...room. Up on the mantle was three picture frames, on the far right was their wedding picture, and on the far right, was a picture from their honey moon, and in the middle was Nick's wedding present from Justin. He picked it up, and ran his fingers over the image of Justin, and cursed himself for thinking then, he had so much more time with him. Even though Justin was diognosed with a brain tumor, Nick thought that Justin would survive anyway, because to him no one important died, celebrities don't die, twenty-year olds don't die, Justin Timberlake couldn't die.
Nick put so much blame on himself for Justin's death, for not knowing that he was going to die, not believing he was going to die. For a month now he lived believing Justin was simply asleep upstairs, or in the shower, or simiply not home....not dead. He thought that he wasn't really going to die, that this was some cruel joke, someone was paying him back for all the pranks he pulled as a kid, and they got him good. They could stop now, someone can jump out and say "jokes up", but no one did....they won't, he's dead. Justin died in the living room a two and a half weeks after their honeymoon, no one died after their honeymoon, Nick told himself, they lived forever, and had a house, and kids, and loved eachother.....till death did them part...and it does...it parts...your heart.
Nick and Justin were home alone at the time, Nick was trying to explain to Justin who he was, and what was going on, then all of the sudden Justin just looked at Nick and said "I love you Nick, I always have, and always will. Tell my mom I love her, and hug her once a day, she doesn't have me to do it anymore. Make sure she's okay, don't let anything happen while I'm gone. Tell Johnathon that I love him too, and that he is a talented little boy, and I do think of him as my "real" little brother. Show him how to grow up like you, let him be like you. Please, please tell Steven about me, let him know me, I don't know if he's old enough to remember me forever. Tell my dad that he was the best father in the world, I'm always his little boy, and tell him that he will have a grandson one day named Randall, just not from me. Tell the guys a simple thank you for being my friends, and my brothers, and sometimes my fathers. Tell Josh something for me, tell him that he IS the most talented person I've ever known, tell him to pursue what he wants, that I want him to. Tell Lance to hurry up and ask some girl out, he needs the company, and deserves the love. Tell Chris to suck up his pride and apologize to Dani, he loves her and she loves him, and they belong together. Tell Joey that he should pursue his acting career, there's only one Joesph Fatone, and there will never be anyone more perfect for acting than him, tell them all that I love them dearly. Thank Lou Pearlman for me, for letting me be in a group, then kick him in the ass for what he did to us. Oh, and upstairs is a song I wrote for my two little brothers, make sure they get it.
Thank my fans for loving me, for being me, that no matter what mood I was in they made me smile, they are me, they made me, and tell the little ones I'm sorry they have to be faced with death at such a young age......my sweet Nicky, don't ever forget me, I wrote a song for you too, in return for yours....I love you..."
Nick remembered that Justin shut his eyes after that, and left the pain behind...and everyone else. It took him forever to get all that out, Nick remembers, and he could never forget the words on the tape he found in his room, Justin's sweet voice, singing a song just for him. He didn't know he could cry so much, he didn't listen to the song until he got home from the funeral, because he didn't remember it. That's when he remembered the boys' song, and ran and got the tape, to listen to it before he gave it to them.
I was never alive Till the day I was blessed with you When I held you late at night I know what I was put here to do I turn off the world And listen to you sigh And I will sing my angel's lullaby
No one's forever near But the one you can always call Right now all you know to fear Are the shadows on your wall I'm here Close enough To kiss the tears you cry I will sing my angel's lullaby
Someone tell me How to stop the years from racing Is there a secret someone knows I'll never catch all the memories I'm chasin' But I know I have to let go
So when the world feels cold You feel that all of your strength is gone There maybe one tiny voice Your reason to carry on And when I'm not close enough To kiss the tears you cry You will sing this angel's lullaby Let this be our angel's lullaby
Nick couldn't figure out how he wrote these things, or when he recorded them, but he did, and that's all that matters. He can still remember how Johnathon ran to him after he heard the song, crying uncontrallaby, screaming why couldn't his brother sing it to him himself? Why did God take him now, "I'm just a little boy, I need a big brother, " he said. That's when Nick realized what he had to do, Justin wanted him to do it, "you have me Jon, I'll be your brother." Johnathon looked at Nick, and smiled, he looked so much like Justin, it almost hurt Nick, but it made him happy, Justin still was here, he didn't leave.
Nick visited Justin's grave often, and today on his way to the cleaners he decided that he might stop by, but thought better of it, he needed time to think right now, get his head back on straight. He needed to find a way to move on, but didn't know where to find it, so he decided that he can't move on when he's mourning, so he decided this was his time for himself, for awhile, he needed to be alone. After he arrived home, Nick went to the backyard, the one that Justin fell in love with when he walked through the house when they bought it. He sat down on the swing, thinking simply about Justin, and about his life..now. Nick knew soon he had to go back out on the road, and they had to record the rest of the album first..and tomorrow, he had to go back. He knew it would do him good to get back into things, he had been so out of it for a month, he was glad that things seemed to be getting better. Nick got up and went back inside, he had an idea for the album.
*five years later
"Randy, get back in here, don't give me that look, your sister is eating her cereal, what' wrong with yours?" Nick questioned his son.
"I hate this cerel" he said in his two year-old broken english.
"Why?, it's cereal Randy, it all tastes the same"
"I want APPLEJAK" he screamed.
"Fine, I'll be back honey, gotta run to the store, he's in one of his cereal cravings again." Nick yelled at his wife in the other room.
"Just like his father isn't he..."she said quietly walking into the room.
"Yeap, just like dad." he answered walking out the door.
Nick quickly went to the store and came back, they didn't have much time before everyone got here for Katie's birthday, she was one year old today, spoiled rotten, and daddy's little girl. Randy was daddy's little boy, the apple of his eye, he just seemed to act like his father too much. Randy was concieved by request of Nick after he got married to his wife, telling her the promise he made so long ago. Randall Scott was born two years ago, surprisingly on January 31st. Katie Jean was born on July 4th a year ago today, this one was Nick's. Nick still carries a picture of Justin in his wallet, and always will, still has the pictures in his wife's and his' bedroom, she doesn't mind, as long as he doesn't put up the wedding picture, their kids might get suspicious, he agreed and put it in a box in the attic, simply titled "justin". Nick was happy with his life now, he was happy before, but now he was happy again, he loved his wife dearly, and his children just as much. He still visits Justin's grave periodically, and his parents, they are "officially and unofficially" the kids' other grandparents.
Even though Randy's last name was Timberlake and Katie's was Carter, no one minded to have them both as grandchildren. One day he'll explain to Randy, Katie, and the other son on the way, about Justin, about what a beatiful person he was, and why he was so important to him. His wife didn't mind this all very much, she understood, because she once lost the one man she ever loved, so she knew what he was going through. Nick sang his children to sleep with Justin's song, everynight, and then tucked them in, and walked to his bedroom. Tonight it was a little later than usual, they had a big party everybody was here, the rest of Nsync, Backstreet, and their parents. Nick climbed into bed and rolled over to face his wife. Their lips brushed and she quietly whispered "I love you Nick" before she fell asleep, as Nick quietly answered, "I love you too Britney."
THE END