Hello! This is my first try at submitting a story. I hope that you like it. Please send me an email and let me know what you think. Please email at: thumper1561@hotmail.com
Legal Stuff This story is fiction and is not intended to imply anything about the true sexuality of the celebrities mentioned or any personal knowledge about their private lives.
I do not know the true sexuality of any members of Nsync. If you are not at least 18 years old, or are offended by homosexual material, then, this story isn't for you. And what are you doing here in the first place!
'Whispering Your Name' Music & Lyrics by Jules Shearer, Vocal Recording by Allison Moyet
Chapter Three (Justin) Whispering Your Name
'If it's just a little fling, a simple thing I'll try not to pretend If it's just for jealousy, he's using me That might be hard to mend
Oh, what else can I do But to try to give him more than he got from you But when he wakes up suddenly And he says your name to me I'll just hope it's force of habit and I pray
But he keeps whispering your name He keeps on whispering your name Like he's just waiting...
Oh, tell me what is better When nothing's wrong, oh He just stands there Like he's just waiting'
It is a beautiful sunny morning in New York. The hotel coffee shop is mostly empty as Justin stands in the doorway. It is early, too early for anyone in the group to be up and around. JC had disappeared but Justin figured he was working on his music. He usually did when they fought. He freezes when he sees, sitting in a booth away from the windows, JC and Joey. Justin begins to breathe heavily. They both look wonderful to him. He stands helplessly, unable to move, like he's just waiting.
Justin remembered the first time he met Joey. At that club in Orlando where Chris had brought them to discuss forming a group. He remembered how Joey lit up the room with his energy and his looks. He remembered how Joey sat next to him all night and frequently put his arm around him. Later when he was used to Joey's flirting, he would realize that he had gotten the 'treatment'. He joked about it with the others but Joey's flirting had always hurt him more than he had ever let on. He had wanted Joey in the group immediately but JC had been strangely resistant. Chris agreed with him however and Joey was in. Justin had never been sure if he and Joey would ever get together. He had fallen head over heels for the big Italian but he was never sure where he stood.
Justin had figured out he was gay early on. He liked girls but had no sexual interest in them. He was still a virgin and wanted Joey to be the first and last guy he was ever with.
Those early days had been the best. There hadn't been much money around but they had a great time together. Every day was an adventure. Their first trip to Europe, their first fans, first autographs, the travel. It had all seemed to be a fantasy come true. They all hung out together and Justin was with Joey constantly. Justin first came out to JC who was totally supportive of his lifestyle but negative about his feelings for Joey. Justin knew Joey had 'issues' but he was desperately in love with him and didn't listen to his friend. Justin finally came out to Joey when they were in South Africa. He told him that he was in love with him. Joey seemed stunned and unsure about what to do but Justin overpowered him. The setting was perfect. The beautiful beach and ocean and glamorous hotel all but screamed romance. Justin pulled Joey into his bed and made love to him. He let Joey inside him and at that moment Justin found love. The two became inseparable.
Nothing had been the same after that. Justin and Joey decided to tell their bandmates about the relationship but agreed to keep it quiet for the sake of their careers. Lance and Chris took it in stride but JC had looked sick. Justin was puzzled by JC's reaction. He knew that JC wasn't Joey's biggest fan but he thought he would be more supportive. In the beginning, it was perfect but Justin soon discovered that his loving Joey wasn't enough to keep him faithful. Joey was fooling around with both men and women. He promised Justin that he was being safe but Justin worried anyway. Still, he always forgave Joey. After all, Joey always came back. He knew Joey loved him and was sure that in time they would be able to settle down together and Joey would be satisfied. His bigger concern was JC. Justin discovered some of what was going on when he accidentally caught JC on his knees giving a club bouncer a blow job after a gig. Justin had been hurt when JC deliberately turned away to finish off the guy. When Justin tried to talk to him about being gay, JC shut him out. Justin couldn't understand why JC hadn't told him he was gay after sharing so many personal things with him. That hurt didn't stop him from caring though and he was worried about JC's wild lifestyle. He was sure that JC was exposing himself to all kinds of dangers. Justin couldn't understand why JC was behaving the way he was. But Joey understood.
The merry-go-round went on for a few years. Their success became greater and greater. America fell to the boys charm and upbeat dance-pop. Flush with money and fame, the great salves of celebrities' pain, they partied at clubs and dreamed of greater things. Who knows how long it might have gone on but for one night. Justin was at home playing with the dog when Joey came in. He was serious. He told Justin that Kelly, his 'good friend' was pregnant and he was the father. Justin sat stunned with the dog between his legs. He couldn't think, couldn't even breathe really. He had to get out. He grabbed his keys off the counter and ran. He heard Joey calling after him but he had to get away.
Wild, dark thoughts ran through his brain. He had lost Joey forever. This baby would always be between them. Joey would always have an obligation to someone else. His fantasy world had crashed and he had nowhere to turn. He was approaching a bridge. Wihtout really thinking it through, he turned the wheel sharply and tried to run himself off the bridge into the river. Everything went black and he thought his suffering was over but when he regained consciousness he was in great pain. The truck had survived the impact on the rail and not gone over. He could taste blood in his mouth and felt damp. He managed to get the truck started and drove to JC's house. He didn't want to see his parents. JC let him in and let him cry himself to sleep. Then a doctor came and there was medication. He was vaguely aware of fights going on around him but he couldn't do anything but sit and stare at the TV. Every night Justin slept in JC's bed and JC cuddled him the way Joey used to. Justin refused to talk about the nightmares that haunted his sleep. JC respected his privacy and worked quietly to get his friend back. He played old MMC videos from the days before NSYNC. He put on the Home Shopping Channel and got Justin to shop for shoes. He did stupid impressions and played games and stood on his head and gradually, Justin's depression began to lift.
There was a new album to record and a tour to plan. Their careers couldn't be stopped just because of a personal crisis. It was arranged that Joey not be in the studio at the same time as JC or Justin. Meanwhile, little Brianna Fatone was born and Justin was forced to confront the reality of his lost love again. He refused to see Joey or the baby. It would just be too painful. Justin felt that something that should have been his had been taken away. He knew it was physically impossible but he wanted to be the one to give Joey children. They had talked about adopting or surrogate motherhood before the world came crashing down around them. Justin thought about quitting but JC talked him out of it.
Tour rehearsals were the beginning of the end. Justin, though a pro, had always been a terror during rehearsals. Filled with self-doubt and expecting the worst, he got tense and irritable, and the only one who could calm him was Joey. Joey had a trick of coming up behind him and wrapping him in his arms and whispering to him. The tension would just flow out of his body until he was relaxed and ready to move on. After a couple of days, it was clear JC wasn't capable of doing the same thing. His own perfectionism drove Justin further into self-doubt and chronic sniping. Joey stood silently as Justin's rages and mood swings escalated. Justin knew he was being considered a 'problem' but he really didn't care. He was the one they were coming to see after all. Everyone was feeling the tension when the stage malfunctioned and Joey's leg was trapped. A bolt shot through it and cut him to the bone. Justin ran to Joey's side and held him in his arms until the ambulance arrived. He followed Joey into the ambulance and held his hand all the way to the hospital. He saw JC watching as the doors shut.
At the hospital, Justin was turned away at the emergency room door so Joey could get treatment. Joey's parents and Kelly arrived and told Justin he wasn't needed. Justin saw Brianna for the first time in Joey's dad's arms. She looked just like Joey. He teared up and walked away, convinced that Joey didn't need him anymore. JC was waiting and started arguing even though Justin looked crushed. JC couldn't stop tearing into him and telling him that Joey was gone forever and he better accept it and shape up. It was only the first in a continuing series. Justin could feel JC was pushing him away but he didn't know how to stop him. When Joey had returned and the tour began in earnest, Justin performed professionally and gave the audience his best. Still, anyone could see that the loose camaraderie of the bands' early days was gone. A stiffness and discomfort pervaded everything they did.
In bed with JC, although the lovemaking had stopped, Justin found himself dreaming of Joey again. He would dream about being with Joey and Brianna on a picnic and they would be laughing and playing. He would always wake up when Joey leaned over to kiss him.
Now he stands in the door of the coffee shop and his future seems to hang in the balance. Both Joey and JC stand up and look at him. Like he's just waiting.
To be Continued..Or Not???????
Well, there is Chapter Three. Tell me what you thought of it. Good or Bad. Would you like a Chapter Four to wrap things up or just leave as is? Let me know! THANKS!!!
My email is thumper1561@hotmail.com