With Love

With Hope

By

Retta Michaels

Disclaimer:

Notes From Retta:

The next chapter is rough. Yes, it's true, but for a couple who never argues, the argument was something which is scarring. As you read it, please note when someone argues with a lover, at times the only thing which keeps them in the conversation is love.

A huge part of the argument took place because he was trying to push me away. Think of that while you read it and you'll see what I mean.

Chapter 2

The phone rang around four thirty. I answered it and it was Kevin, "I'll be home around ten after five, would you have my suit laid out so I can get ready to go to dinner?"

"You didn't pack it?"

"No" It was like, he was wondering how I could answer such a stupid question.

"Oh, well, I'll lay it out. I figured if you were leaving me forever you would have packed it. Maybe you wanted me to bury you in it."

"Rhett, let's have an evening where you're not ripping out my jugular, o.k?"

"Kev, maybe this isn't a good idea. The wounds are still fresh and the only fucking thing I'm still thinking of is you left me. Excuse me all to hell for having feelings."

"O.k, you do have feelings Rhett and I apologize. I realize I'm going to catch shit for a while. That's the way you deal with things."

"Kev, I'm not going to argue on the phone. I'll get off here now."

"Rhett, don't hang up."

"Kev, I'll have your suit laid out, but maybe I should call and cancel the reservations. It's too fucking long of a walk for me to walk home."

"Rhett, please."

"Kevin, I'm not going to hide my feelings under Jerry's ass while you fuck him. And, I'm sure as hell not going to keep my mouth shut about hiding feelings. How about you just go to dinner and I'll make something here for me. But, Kevin, take my mom to dinner. I have no real desire to have people telling me you were out with someone else. I'll get off the phone now."

He hung up and I went upstairs to get his suit out of the closet. While I was in the bedroom, I noticed he didn't take a lot of things. Maybe he counted on coming back. Maybe he thought I'd take him back, I don't know. But, the thought of him discounting me telling him to get gone really irked me."

I'd no sooner laid his suit out on the guest bed when the phone rang. I want to my bedroom and answered the candlestick phone. "Hello"

"Rhett"

"Yes mom"

"Kevin just told me you're using chainsaws again. Do you want this to work?"

"Mom, I want it to work, but I have feelings. He's totally discounting them."

"Rhett, save all those feelings for the counselor. Tonight, if it kills you and you have to give an Oscar winning performance, act like nothing is wrong. You've got to bend a little. He realizes he's fucked up."

"Mom, me burying my feelings isn't possible because if I do, you'll be burying me in about two weeks."

"Rhett don't talk like that."

"Let's see. I buried my feelings when Tony blew his head off. I buried my feelings when Michael Ray used the front door as a turnstile. I buried my feelings when Chad saw to it I had a nice stay in prison while he looted everything he could. And then, I buried my feelings in prison. The answer I've come up to the question of "When is it going to be my turn?" is that I've stopped burying my feelings."

"Maybe it's not a good time for you to go to dinner with him."

"That's what I'm saying mom, and you and he have me acting like a fucking ostrich sticking my head in the sand and pretending I'm not hurt. Well, that's not going to happen. I'm pissed."

"You have every right to be. He needs to know you've got to deal with the denial, anger, and acceptance. You're not ready for the acceptance. I can see that now. I'll have a talk with Kevin."

"Thanks mom."

"I love you two. Both of you are like sons to me and I've grown to love him on his terms too."

"I know."

"Well, I'll talk with him."

"Good bye, tell him I have his suit laid out."

"Get your suit on too. Maybe putting on the suit will change your mind."

"I'll look pretty classy cooking a pot of spaghetti in it."

"You did get that from your dad. When he was upset, and it was out of his control, he'd cook."

"It's us Italian guys mama."

"Well, you're half German too."

"I know, I'll drink beer with the spaghetti."

"Don't you dare."

"What, spaghetti is too classy for beer?"

"No, don't put your ass into a bottle to numb the feelings."

"Mom, sometimes you panic over little shit."

"Well, little shit becomes big shit and you should realize that in this situation. You keep the course and things will work out."

"Mom, I love you. Good bye."

When I hung up, a part of me said to go to dinner with him and another part said not to. Not going to do things with him led us to being in this situation, but I think Kevin needs to know I'm not the good time fella that will just jump into the sack with him."

I went upstairs and took my shower. I went in to the bedroom and left the bedroom door open as I stood in the nude. Decisions...decisions...decisions...well, the first thing, with white pants on, I can't freeball, so pick some boxer-briefs on so there'd be no line under the white dress pants. I got out a pair of white socks and then went to the closet for my wingtips.

I looked up and pulled out my navy button down with the white buttons and then reached over to get the white with blue stripe silk tie. I grabbed Kevin's leather tie and took it in to lay with his suit.

I put on my pants and and then my undershirt. I got the button down on and realized I'd forgotten cologne. So, I pulled off the shirt and went down to get the cologne from the downstairs bathroom. I got Kev's cologne and took it up with me too.

I went back to my bedroom and sprayed myself with the cologne. Then proceeded to get dressed. When I needed to put on my belt, I took Kevin's to his room so he'd have it handy.

By this time, I was irked at myself. I was hauling all his things to the guest bedroom and realized I would've been dressed before he got home so he could've dressed in the master bedroom. "Oh well, he'll get the point" is exactly what I thought.

I pulled my jacket out of the closet and then decided I wasn't wearing it. I'd carry it, but I wasn't wearing it. Mental note to self: Put walking shoes in the Navigator while he's in the shower in case I need to walk home thirty miles. No, mental note: Take cell phone to call for ride. I ain't no fool!

I went downstairs and went to the living room, Oprah was on tivo. As soon as I saw who was on it, lust went into action within me."Nate Berkus, what a hunk. Man, oh man, that man's eyes are enough to just build desire. It's such a shame about his lover. To lose someone and never have them come back, man oh man, I think I have it rough. At least I get to bitch at Kevin. Give thanks for blessings Rhett, get over yourself."

I continued to watch Nate and lusted the whole time....well, not really because somewhere in there, I made a mental note to buy some paint for the bathroom.

The NEWS came on and I vaguely watched it. The story about Rebecka Wyrde on again. Poor woman, I really hope they get whomever it was that hit and killed her husband. A pleasant weekend turned into hell over a flat tire. (Her husband Chip got hit and killed while he was changing a tire. The driver never stopped and no clues have come out as to whom it was. The poor woman saw her husband die right in front of her and lost him forever.) I sure hope nothing like that happens to us. We really don't know how long we have someone. Enjoy them while you can Rhett and do what you can to have them enjoy you.

Well, by this time, my mood had changed. Kevin came in the door and I said, "I'm in the living room."

"Wow, you look good. You smell good too."

"Kev, let's hug."

"Are you sure."

"Since our phone call, I've seen two things on television where people have lost someone they loved and never got to say goodbye, yeah, I'm sure."

He came over and hugged me. The clinging of us to each other told me he needed it as much as me.

"Kevin, I love you and I don't want us to go out without you knowing it. As hurt as I am, I still want you to know I've got hope."

"Rhett, your mom is a woman who can grab me by the ear verbally and sling my ass around a room. She said a few things to me after we got off the phone that really has me seeing it from your side. I'm sorry and I'm going to do everything I can to make it up to you. I'll have patience and I'll be your sounding board and I'll also be your target to whack at with a sledge hammer if you need. I realize I created the problem and I'll be here no matter what happens."

"Kevin, I love you. One thing I want you to do is move back into the master bedroom. We can hold each other and we can be intimate without sex. There's no sense of us going through this sleeping alone. All I ask is you lose his number. O.k.?"

"It's already deleted from all my phones. We do need to talk about him, but I'll wait until you're ready."

"Kev, if you're going to tell me about your conquest of another man while you were supposed to be in this relationship staying faithful, I'm not going to be your buddy. I don't need to hear about you knocking off a piece of strange."

"Forget I said anything for now. Your mom said you were still in the anger stage, but she did advise me to tell you everything I was feeling."

"Kev, just not now."

"O.k."

"Kev, go get your shower and get dressed. I'll feed Gyp and get her situated with Animal Planet on the television."

"Maybe she wants to watch Nick with the cartoons."

"I'll ask her, if she says "Nick", I'll switch it."

He went upstairs and I opened Gravy Train. Gyp ate like she hadn't eaten in a month. I don't know how she does it, but she can eat her hearts desire and never gain a pound. Oh well, I'm not worrying about what I'm eating tonight."

I went into the living room and flipped channels to the Animal Planet. An alligator was eating a gazelle. What a fucking horror story to a little dog. So, I flipped to Nick, of course Sponge-Bob-athon! A cocker spaniel loves water, so she'll be enthralled.

It didn't seem long and Kevin was downstairs again looking like a God. How he does it, I'll never know because I know he takes a full twenty minutes in the shower scrubbing everything twice...and sometimes longer. He acts like a little kid still in water. He's the only adult who has bathtub toys. Ships getting sunk by rubber ducks with little voices, "Oh no! You sank my battleship!"

He said, "You ready?"

"Yup, Gyp's watching Sponge Bob tonight. An alligator was eating a gazelle on Animal Planet."

"They should rate that DX"

"DX?"

"Not fit for little dogs and children to watch."

"Let's go get our own steaks."

We got in the truck and he said, "Your mom suggested Pear Tree restaurant over at Bevier. I got reservations."

"Kev, do you want to go to the Pear Tree?"

"I don't care where we go, all I want to do is be with you and talk."

"O.k, well I had hoped for Rustic Oak, but I think neutral territory is what's best."

"Rhett, I don't care where we go either. I was hoping for The Old Spaghetti Factory in St. Louis, but your mom suggested Pear Tree, so I went with it."

"Let's go to Spaghetti factory, all I expect is a beer."

"What!"

"Kevin, when my mom asks where we went, I'm going to tell her I got my spaghetti and drank a beer with it."

"Am I missing something?"

"Yeah, I was planning on staying home and making spaghetti, and she told me my dad cooked Italian when he was upset. She then reminded me I was half German and I told her I'd drink a beer with it to celebrate my heritage. She told me I had better not as she didn't want me drowning my sorrows in a bottle."

"Well, that's good in theory, but one beer?"

"My mom knows how bad I was into my drinking before I went to prison, so she was afraid."

"Well, from what I hear, she has a right to be worried about that."

"Yeah, but Kevin, one beer isn't anything. It's not like I'm going out to get shitfaced. If I was binge drinking, then it'd be different. Then, I'd expect you to call me on it or she."

"I will, believe me."

"O.k., well go get dressed."

"Rhett, I want you to drive us down. I want to sit and talk."

"O.k."

"Rhett, you know I love you don't you?"

"Yes babe, I believe that, that's why it's so hard."

We left and filled up at the gas station down the street from us. As we headed out of town, I saw Jerry's truck sitting at a biker bar. Kevin looked and I instantly got angry. "We can stop if you want to."

"No, that's o.k."

"Well, I'd really like to beat his ass, but the way I feel, it'd probably end in murder."

"Rhett, don't joke around about that."

"Stick up for him all you want Kev, but it fucking takes two to tango."

"It was me, alright Rhett."

"You came onto him, or what?"

"Rhett, do you want to hear all that shit?"

"Kevin, kind of morbidly, I do primarily I want to know your involvement in this and his. Did you come onto him? Or, did he come onto you? There's no 50/50. One did or the other, or is it like things supposedly happened in prison, you accidentally tripped and your dick went in his mouth."

"Rhett, I don't want to answer this."

"O.k., then I take it that you're guilty as hell and came onto him. Well, thank you much."

We drove for another fifteen minutes and I must admit tears were rolling down my cheeks. I didn't look at him, so I don't know what he was doing. What I know is I was sitting there thinking the worst.

"Kevin, you want to rake my ass for throwing chainsaws at you to my mom, did you tell her everything?"

"No."

"Oh, that would be like playing her too. She's standing up for you to me. She doesn't even know. That's fucked up. If you can't tell me the truth, then at least let her know."

"If I did Rhett, she'd tell you to dump me and you would."

"Probably. Maybe that's what needs done anyway, I don't know. We used to communicate and now we don't. We used to believe in putting the other first and now we don't. Now it's two separate lives and two separate paths and all I can see is they're heading apart over the horizon. To be quite honest it's killing me inside."

"Rhett, there's been a whole lot of things going on in my head ever since you cut back on the days at work. So, I need to go back to that."

"Am I going to get the whole story here? Or are you going to take me up to what happened because if I'm only getting part of the story Kevin, can it."

"Rhett, you know you can be a real bitch."

"Well Kevin, I'll take that as you're stepping off my fan club bus."

"Rhett fuck you. You always act like shit doesn't bother you, but underneath it does."

"Kevin, where in the hell did that come from?"

"Well, at work, you are a high pressure motherfucker. When the wind is blowing 50 miles an hour, you expect the guys to be up in on those catwalks and putting up signs. Do you realize how many guys hate you for that?"

"Kevin, let's see. I give them a total of 7 signs a week to put up. If they wait until Thursday and Friday to put them up, then who's fucking fault is that? It takes 3 hours to put up one of those signs Kevin, I know. I've been up there and heights scare the shit out of me."

"They aren't you Rhett."

"They get paid $14 an hour which is good money here . There's not even a factory here in town that pays that much starting off. If they can't handle the gas, I'll tell them not to eat the beans."

"Rhett, after a freezing rain storm, those ladders are slick. You expect them to strap on and climb them."

"Kevin, let's see. At 2 pm the ladders are melted off. If they climb them then, they can get 5 signs done a week. Now, if they bring me 5 completed signs, I'm happy. If they bring me 2, I'm pissed and I have a right to be. That's 40 fucking hours Kevin and 2 signs! Jesus God, that's lost profit for those signs."

"You always cut it down to dollars and cents real fast. How much has our relationship cost you?"

"Let's see. Mentally, I'm a basket case. Emotionally, I'm a fucking toaster....charged up and burned inside out. Physically, I'm doing o.k., so everyone thinks I'm o.k....so, they can pile shit on me. Relationship wise, I'm a 1 out of a hundred because I apparently can't keep a man happy long enough to stay. Should I go on? Because dollars and cents Kevin doesn't even compare to what it's cost me."

"O.k., that wasn't fair."

"What's it cost you?"

"It's cost me one man I loved and it's cost me another I thought I could love. It's cost me respect of my workers and it's cost me respect from those whom I respect."

"Damn the luck, you picked a losing horse."

"You want the truth Kevin, or you want me to power wash it like you want to do to me."

"Try me with the truth."

"O.k., I will and just as soon as I do, I'm going to pull over and you're going to tell me the truth of what happened and if you don't, I'm throwing you out, driving back home and your shit will be on the curb. Deal?"

"Rhett, don't be this way."

"Kevin, why don't I save the gas and turn around now."

As he was quiet, I hit the brakes and drove through the median to the other two lanes of traffic. Steam was hissing off the brakes and I could give a shit less.Let them warp all to hell.

"When I get home, I'll dial the phone and hand it to mom. You can tell her the whole story while I pack your shit."

"Rhett, you're not touching my shit."

"Kevin, believe me, if you want to play the legal card, I'll give you an eviction notice. You want it?"

"Rhett, all because I won't tell you what happened with him, you're going to end a relationship."

"Yup, because you've kept enough from me. I'm not going to play 20 fucking questions and pull it out of you. I'm going to ask for the whole ball of wax. Days, dates, times, and number of times. And Kevin, when I get home, I'm going to do you another favor. I'm going to pick up the phone and I'm going to call the sheriff over there and I'm going to let them know the password to his grow farm."

"What!"

"Yeah, your lover boy didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"That he has a grow farm up on the top of Crenshaw Quarrey hill."

"What?"

"Shall I drive you there? Because I will and when we get to the gate, I'll type in Kevin into the number pad and I'll be allowed to enter. I suppose you don't know about that either."

"Who told you this shit?"

"Kevin, first of all, it's true. I've been there, drove up there, and checked it out. It's approximately four acres big. The plants are spaced about every five feet. The way I see it, he harvests once a week and has approximately 120 plants each harvest."

"Rhett, who told you this shit?"

"Kevin, it doesn't matter my source. What matters is it's true. It's on his land and I have a private detective shooting photos of everyone that comes on or off the place."

"Since when?"

"Why? Are you worried about something Kevin? Because if you are worried about it, let me tell you that you're going to go down too."

"Rhett, first of all, I don't believe you. Second of all, he's losing money. Third of all, I've lent him money."

"Oh really? I certainly hope it was out of your own account because if I find out money out of our account is supporting a pot farm, I'll have your balls on the fire in a heartbeat."

"The money came out of my own account and it was $300 to get tickets to a ball game."

"Well honey, you got fucked in more ways than one. You see the police don't do a fucking thing in these parts unless they're handed the case on a silver platter. Just as soon as you started hanging out with him, I started doing some checking on him. Yeah, back in July and you want to know what I found?"

"What, I see you're dying to tell me."

"Which part? The part that if he told you he was a virgin that was a lie and he's been with 3 other men in the past year, or the fact that he changed his security code to 5-3-8-4-6 back in April. So, you got something to tell me? Because it looks suspicious as hell that you suddenly hung around him in July and he did that in April."

"Rhett, I swear the man and I started hanging around each other in July. It was the night of that ball game downtown."

"So, is it going to roll out? Just because I've got the goods on him and let you know it?"

"Who else knows?"

"Which part?"

"All of it."

"Well, lets see. I hired the private detective on July the 20th. That's when I wrote the check. I spoke with the guy on the 18th and he found out that Jerry was in prison in Illinois for cultivation in the early 90's. Since then, he's taken aerial photos and he's gotten ground photos. He's gotten photos of Jerry harvesting and he's got photos of him dropping it off at a house on Short Street. He owns his own house, and there is an account in Luxembourg, the Bahamas, Switzerland, and the Cayman Islands has a mobile account which wires him funds to the banks and from them."

"Who else knows about this?"

"Besides John and Matt? The highway patrol and the feds, why you writing a novel? If so, you need to sit at the keyboard more often."

"Rhett, what do you know?"

"I'm telling you everything Kevin, just wait and see. Because when I'm done talking you're going to talk believe me."

"Rhett, you're being a bitch about this."

"Kevin, I'm being a downright vindictive cunt is what I'm being, but who's keeping score? You? Jerry? The man who sells it for him? The banks? Puh-leaze tell me Kevin exactly how blind I've been so I can jack you in your jaw."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Kevin, you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas. The man I love suddenly starts playing around with a known pot grower and suddenly my business could be on the line. How seriously do you think I took it? I took it very seriously. Now, I'm going to ask you a question. How involved are you?"

"Rhett, you have me so suspicious of you right now, I don't want to talk to you."

"Oooh bad answer. Because Kevin, right now I love you and in a few moments, I'm going to pull out my cell phone and say, put all the photos together and email them to the right people telling them you accidentally left some out."

"Rhett, don't do this to me."

"Kevin, you thought not one second about doing it to me, remember I'm the stupid bitch that doesn't know a thing. I'm the one that doesn't know you rented a motel room in February and the night before Valentine's day you spent it with him. So, how long has it been going on Kevin?"

"How the fuck did you get that information?"

"Lets see. I have a friend who happens to be the Governor who happens to be able to pull terrorist information and phone records for anyone. He can also pull motel records and he can also pull records from G.M.'s north star satellite tracking and tell exactly where a vehicle went, where it goes, and whether a passenger seat is ridden in when it's being driven. That information goes from the truck and it gets given to a giant data base. Follow that up with ATM photos which must be kept for 3 years and you have a clear depiction of who's in the vehicle when the dumbass is too lazy to walk up and keep your face out of it. So, you ready to talk yet Kevin?"

"You think you're playing hard ball Rhett, but you don't know who you're fucking with."

"Let's see, it's not Kansas City mafia, and it's not Chicago and St. Louis's doesn't count because they're in Chicago's hip pocket, so who am I fucking with? A wannabe? Who are you fucking with Kevin? Because I can tell you. You're fucking with Gerald Ray Williams, age 38, last known address is his house and his known street name is Jerry, aka Jerry the rat in prison because he was known for selling everyone out, and he's known to his banker as Jerkev. So, you think you're going to get any of that money? Well you're not, he shows you a bank book and you believe him. That bank account that you know about has a back door which rolls over into Luxembourg. Jerry the rat is going to fucking disappear and Kevin's going to be in an awful foul mood when it happens because the police are going to be knocking on his door."

"Rhett, what do you know you're not telling me."

"Kevin, watch this..."

I pulled out my cellphone and called the number of John.

John answered, "Rhett?"

"Yeah, I have me and Kevin on speaker phone. Kevin's not in a talkative mood. He's failing to save his own ass by telling me what's going on."

"Kevin, first of all, I'll tell you one thing, that's a dumb damn move."

"John, this isn't any of your business."

"Kevin, do you realize what we know?"

"John, I have a good clue of what you know"

"Kevin, right now your truck is being tracked and we know exactly where you are. Right now, we've got highway patrol and DEA sitting down the street from your friends house. We've got a FBI pull on the accounts and we have enough information to put your ass in federal prison for the rest of your life. Rhett has made a deal to keep your ass out of it but you just don't want to make any arrangements to do that. Now, my suggestion is to make it happen by the time Rhett makes it back to town because he's got instructions if things are good to take you to the grow site and torch the field...if they're good. If they're not, then he's do drive you to Jerry's house and you're going to go to jail with him. I do believe your plans of making that flight on Friday are over."

"What happens if I think about taking Rhett hostage?"

"With what Kevin? The gun you thought you had in your console? That's been confiscated and that's a federal charge. It has your fingerprints on it. It's a lovely piece of evidence. My suggestion is you make Rhett comfortable enough to call us back and tell us all is well. He knows the code to tell us and if it's anything else, you have no idea how bad it will be for you. Did I mention the charges against you in prison could be brought back into effect? Did I mention that as a warden of this state, I can suggest solitary confinement for any inmate I see fit? I'll get off the phone now Kevin. By the way, this phone call was recorded. Rhett, good bye."

I drove on in silence. Tears streamed down my face. Every nightmare I had for him was coming true. He'd chosen Jerry over me and I knew it. If I got him back, it'd be by default on his feelings for Jerry."

"Don't sit over there and cry all fucking night."

"Don't tell me what to do you piece of shit. You could have told me the truth. You could have told me this was going on and what you were involved in. You knew our resources we had at our disposal and you chose to gamble it all away."

"Rhett, is this truck wired?"

"Take your chances Kevin, I'm not telling you anymore. You know I'm telling you the truth and yet, you choose to play the game. You've lost and there's only one out."

"Rhett, I've thrown us away and I know I can't get you back. You know how unfaithful I've been to you and still you give me a chance?"

"Kevin, I love you. Believe it, or not, I still believe we can make it work."

"What happens if I go for these deals?"

"Kevin, you become a confidential informant. You were undercover and Jerry falls alone. Your blood stream hasn't tested positive for any drugs and any infectious diseases...yet. When that happens, you've killed me too."

"Rhett, I do love you."

"Kevin, I know you do, there's not many choices left here."

"Rhett, if they know where the truck is, then what do they know?"

"Kevin, while the truck is in gear it records the conversations within it. When it's in park, it turns into the biggest homing signal in the state. Only the President's car has more clearance."

"How do you rate so fucking high?"

"Because the Governor is using his clearance on this truck. He believes in us and he's guilty by proxy if word gets out. He's been to our house a lot Kevin and did you notice how they suddenly don't come around as often?"

"Rhett, this is fucked up."

"Kevin, it's fucked up that you put him before me."

"I loved him."

"Well, til prison do you part then."

"Rhett, I'm scared God damn it."

"Kevin, I can't make it any clearer to you than this. We're on this side of Frankford, when we get back home, we're going to the quarrey, or we're going to Jerry's. It's that easy."

"Rhett make the phone call."

"No, not until I get answers."

"Rhett, please make that phone call."

"Kevin, if I do, it will only be after I get answers."

"Rhett, pull over up here and we'll talk. This truck doesn't record when it's in park, right?"

"No, it becons out the homing signal they believe you've ran if it's in park. They get a chopper in the air and they find the truck..They get the tracking dogs and they come to find you."

"How long do I have if we talk?"

"It depends where the chopper is."

"Would you say I have a half an hour?"

"Kevin, I don't know. What I can say is if you talk, you have more of a chance than if you don't."

"Rhett, I don't want to say anything and have it recorded. I owe Jerry that much."

"Kevin, I don't owe him a fucking thing and I will sure as shit testify on what I know. His ass is down just the same."

"Rhett, do me a favor and forget what you know."

"Kevin, make it worth it to me. You're not offering shit to me except a brown paper bag full of shit."

"Rhett, we met last year in December. It was when I was at Zales buying you your Christmas present. We spoke and he complimented me on the lovely lady being really special. I told him I was the lucky guy and that you were a lucky guy too. The next time we saw each other was when you were down there performing that drag show. He saw me and came over to speak. When he saw you on the stage, he told me I needed a real man. I started to say something and then he started to tell me everything he knew about our company and the background check he'd ran on you and I. That scared the shit out of me.

He then told me he wanted to see me. In January, I took that trip to St. Louis. It wasn't a trip to St. Louis at all. That's the first time we met. Surprisingly, I found him attractive even though he was blackmailing me. So, in February, we met at that motel and that's when we had sex for the first time. He gave me head and I fucked him. That was it all the way up until the other night. We'd meet once a month and that's what we would do. Most of the time it was at his house.

The nights I sad I went to ball games with him, we did go to ball games except he gave me head while I was driving.

In September, we had that problem with Jim and he started that insubordination at work. Rhett, that was because you are too hard to work for and expected too much. We had 17 signs bent all to hell over between Columbia and Moberly and you wanted them all down and new one's up in a week."

"Kevin, I sent three crews over there. One to remove bolts and to drop signs. The next was to put up new signs. The last was to scrap the old signs. How fucking hard is that? A sawzall and a cutting torch gets rid of the mess and we've got new signs up. Hell, we have over fifty new signs in inventory, all it entails is overtime, a crane to lift them and a few hours to put them up. Seventeen signs isn't shit."

"Rhett, the mud and the water in those ditches was nearly waist high. I was there, you weren't."

"Kevin, you know what? You never bothered to tell me this and this isn't what I need to hear."

"Well, you were a bitch to those crews and they didn't forget it. They came back and they told the other crews. So, they took a sit out on you."

"Well, you pointed the finger at Jim, should more have been fired?"

"Yeah, the CEO of the company."

"No, because I own it. If the COO didn't tell me, I can roll it onto his irresponsible ass. That's what you're paid to do Kevin. If you didn't do it, then so be it. He still lost his job."

"Rhett, see where I go with this. It's either black or white with you."

"Kevin, you are NOT telling me what I want to hear. I'm going to pull in here at New London and park in front of the sheriff's office. That way if you want to get ignorant, they know where you are."

"Rhett, park over here and let me talk. Damn, you owe me more than that."

"Do I Kevin? You just told me the last nine months were a lie. What else?"

"Rhett, I learned about Jerry's business in March when he bought a grow house in town. He felt comfortable enough to show it to me then. What I saw was nothing but profits. I thought if we ever got down, we could use it to get back up. There's over six hundred dollars profit in every plant."

"Kevin, you know my stance on that and you know I would have told you to get fucked."

"Rhett, in this time since I've been working, the company has been in your name. I don't feel a part of it. You are ultimately the boss and I'm nothing but an employee to you."

"Yeah and that sucks. I want it the other way but about the time I feel comfortable in signing papers, you go and fuck around."

"When were you going to sign papers to me?"

"You were getting them for Christmas Kevin, but you're not now."

"Well, then I'm resigning from the company."

"Kevin, you are laid off. And, after tonight, if you don't talk, you'll probably be in jail. I need to hear more from you than what you've said."

"Do you realize you're holding my balls to the grindstone on this?"

"Yeah, and really, I'm not feeling much pain except you ripping my heart out, so if it's your balls, then consider it about 2 feet lower than where it's hitting me. Now talk to me Kevin."

"Rhett, the only money between Jerry and I is the money he borrowed from me for the ball tickets. He spoke about the other, but I didn't take him seriously. If there's any signatures on anything, they're forged."

"Kevin, what have you done and what haven't you done in all this?"

"He showed me the grow field and he made it a token of his love for me to put my name as the code for the gate. In regards to the field, I didn't go out in it, and I didn't touch a thing except drive up there with him and look at it and make out with him."

"What did you do up there making out?"

"I told you he always gave me head while we were in a vehicle."

"Did you fuck him?"

"No"

"O.k, because there are photos of you up there. They do show you in the truck and you do appear to be telling the truth on that one."

"Who's the guy because he was trespassing in order to take the photos?"

"Kev, does it matter? For all I know, he could be DEA. What did you do the other night that made it so special you decided to get fucked?"

"Rhett, after being your lackey for a month, I decided I'd had enough and I was going to leave you this week. I told him I wanted to build it with him and showed him my feelings for him by bottoming."

"So, you get paid an extra fifty grand a year by me and you can't cut it. So, instead of telling me, you go bottom for a guy. That's real faithful Kevin, that's disgusting."

"Rhett, I'm sorry."

"Kevin, what else and I need to talk fast here because I'm putting the truck into park."

"Rhett, his phone number is off my cell phone. It's out of my email addresses and all my emails have been destroyed. I told him I was done with him and I want to build it with you. He cussed me like a dog and he threatened me. I told him to do what he needed to do because quite frankly, if I can't have you, I don't want to live."

"Kevin, I'll make that phone call now."

I dialled the Governor's number and told him, "The cat said Meow I'll take him to the grow field."

I put the truck into gear and we drove to the grow field. At the gate, I pushed in the code and noticed there was already fingerprint dust on it. When we got up to the grow field, there were five five gallon cans of kerosene up there. I told Kevin, "Kevin, you go around that way and start at the inside of it and pour a line down the middle. I'll do it over here."

I took a can and began to pour it towards the back. It took most of a can to make it to the back. I then took it over to meet Kevin's line. I lay the plastic jug on it's side so when the flame got to it, it would catch it on fire and burn any fingerprints I left on it.

I then walked back through the field and got another can and did it over again. This time as I walked down the middle, I did a zig-zag pattern so I could cover a broader path. Kevin saw what I was doing and started sloshing it everywhere. I told him to make sure the line connected or it wouldn't get burned. He then told me he had to go back over his line on the outside as he hadn't done it right. On the last can, I took it up the outer left of the field. And when I got to the back, I took it over to connect my three lines. I only hoped Kevin had done his sides as well as I did."

"Kevin, lay your cans so they are ignited by the kerosene. They'll burn away your fingerprints."

He looked at me and I could tell he'd been crying. It confused me because Jerry obviously meant something to him. I went over and layed them down like I had and then took a lighter and lit the paths. They caught and soon the whole field was burning.

"What now?"

"Well, we drive home and we have supper and wait."

"What are we going to eat? you didn't cook anything."

"Kevin, you will be amazed at the meal we're going to have. You just got out of prison for the second time dude."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, let's see. Jerry's accounts just got took and he's now under investigation. His phone was tapped so when he made that threat to you, he got a blackmail charge. Doing that to an confidential informant is serious shit. Put trafficking on him and cultivation charges on him and then racketeering, and you have a real strong case. Now, also combine that with the phone call he made to his guy down at the labor local in St. Louis and you've got conspiracy. But, that phone call wasn't to the labor local. It was to the highway patrol. They intercepted the phone call."

"So, you're telling me I'm out of it?"

"Yeah, but you're into it deep with me."

"Rhett, I love you."

"Kevin, you keep saying that and I'm sure you'll have me believing it again some day."

The local rural fire department got the phone call about 20 minutes after we got home. We heard it on the police scanner when we were met by everyone who worked for us, my family, John and Matt. There were a few people who took Kevin to the computer room and talked with him a few moments. They told Kevin he'd need to testify in case the case ever went to trial but the evidence was overwhelming to the point they didn't foresee that happening.

Kevin and I still have a rough row to hoe, but at least we have that vermin out of our lives and not hanging over our heads.

How are things going to go? Well, I do believe Kevin loved Jerry. I do believe he had feelings he shouldn't have. Those are going to be resolved in counseling.

It's rough because I've heard how big of a bitch I am all too often. It doesn't make it any easier, but I do realize there are problems which I have to resolve within the company. I'll update you on what else has transpired this week in the next chapter

Copyright Notice - Copyright © November 2007 by RettaMichaels

The author, RettaMichaels copyrights this story and retain all rights. This work may not be changed or duplicated in any form, media, - known or unknown - without the authors' expressed permission. All applicable copyright laws apply.

Disclaimer: All individuals depicted are fictional, and any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental

From My Keyboard To Your Heart Rhett

Here is a list of stories I've written and where to find them:

With Love - Nifty - Beginnings Section Rural Love - Author Heading - DeweyWriter.com Write Me A Love Story - Author Heading - DeweyWriter.com To Love Him - Author Heading - DeweyWriter.com Military Zone - Nifty - Military Section Evan - Nifty - Beginnings Section