With Love

With Love

By

Retta Michaels

Chapter 5

Author's Notes:

The subject matter in this chapter is going to be stronger than you've probably ever read on this site. Please read it and keep it in your minds, because if there ever comes a time out here in the free world you need to use it to survive, you'll have knowledge which will keep you alive.

If you think I'm not serious, rethink your position and think about what the people who go without power during natural disasters do in order to survive and how they stay alive during those times. I can almost bet you they use some of these tactics.

When a prison rocks, it's a matter of survival because power and water become bargaining tools used by administrations to regain control. A convict's job is to be prepared and to be on alert so they're still healthy at the end of it. Things a normal person wouldn't ever have to do are done. The overall object is called survival...you'll be amazed at what you'd do when it becomes necessary.

I hope I don't offend with this chapter, but I do hope you'll overcome that offense and pay mind, because you never know when you'll need these tips.

Chapter 5

Although we were amateurs when it came to making love, I learned one facet which has stayed with me my entire life. It's always hard to get out of bed and leave someone after really romantic passion. This time, it was harder because I had Francisco in my arms and I didn't want our lovemaking to end.

A pounding on the door by some inconsiderate motherfucker ended all that. The rec period was open and they apparently thought more of their stomache and buying something to fill it then they did about our quiet solitude.

Francisco looked at me and said, "Boom, we're going to have to get out of bed. Just promise me we'll continue as soon as lockdown is called."

I muttered some curses and got out of bed. I didn't want to leave him, but even he was agreeing we needed to be social with these people. I was so content laying there, If they'd have found my starved to death skeletal remains laying in his arms, at least they'd still see the smile on my face.

I went over and said, "Watch your eyes", and turned on the light. The problem with the light in the cell was they painted the cells a bright white and had an 80 watt florescent bulb to shine in it. The white compounded the light and it was like turning on sudden daylight in a dark room...overwhelming.

Francisco threw me my boxers and said, "Babe, that needs to be covered because if you walk out like that, everyone will want to have what I've got."

I smiled and said, "They don't get it. It's all yours."

He smiled and said, "Thank you."

I turned and smiled at him and said, "It's me who should be thanking you. You've given me so much and demanded so little."

He said, "You're that easy to love."

I nodded and said, "You are too."

I grabbed a pair of Gold's Gym sweatpants and put on a tank which matched. In this outfit, I knew I looked good and seeing Francisco's eyes watching my form told me he appreciated it.

He smiled when he saw me returning the look and said, "Boom, just promise me we're back in that bed just as soon as they call lockdown."

I said, "Well horndog, we didn't have to even leave it!"

He smiled and said, "You'll thank me in the morning when the whole wing just heard you cum...if you don't walk out now! Because you know as well as I, they'll all never let you live it down."

I chuckled and said, "Well, I'm about to open the door, so be prepared for the heckling."

He said, "You let me get some shower stuff ready and I'll go there!"

I said, "Well, wonderboy, you better move that ass!"

He turned and smiled at me and said, "O.k., start yelling to get it opened and by then, I'll have at least a towel on. He grabbed a towel, and I started yelling for an opened door."

The door popped open and I swear about 50 guys stood there and started clapping. The guard on the p.a., said, "Chambers to the sallyport." From the voice, I knew it was a cool one by the name of Page. He was crazier than hell. His nights on were a running monologue of a perfect stand up comedian. He had everyone in stitches and it kept the mood in the housing unit light.

I made it to the stairs, and Page said, "Chambers, how come when I call you down here, I never get told you're cumming like that!"

Everyone started laughing and he said, "The next time you want privacy, and want to keep it private, tell your celly to give you a gag first."

He said, "My job is to ignore people in this place. I tell you folks it's damned hard when we have SOME individual in this place that's screaming at the top of his lungs he's cumming. Oh don't get shy now Chambers! We all know you're a screamer!"

My face was red and I went to the sallyport and Page popped the door. I was in the sallyport alone and Page pulled himself off the microphone and came over to the drop box. He said, "Chambers, I'm going to rib you, but don't take it personally. I've got to give you some shit because if I don't then everyone else will think I'm ignoring it on purpose. Once they think that, I get walked on."

I said, "Page, all I can say is when my celly comes out, please don't go too bad on him!"

He laughed and said, "I won't, but you best believe I'm going to ask when the wedding is going to be and whether it's going to be a double cockring ceremony."

I laughed and said, "I'll forwarn him he's going to get a little flak and to not be too embarrassed."

Page said, "I'll call him down and tell him I'm cool with it. Hell, if I was in this place, I'd be celled up with a few of these guys and you best believe I'd not stay celibate!"

I laughed and said, "Well, I've already got the best. So, you'd be settling for second best."

Page said, "Chambers, it's amazing, but I know you're right. Anyone who could change you for the better has to be damned good."

I said, "He's the miracle worker alright."

I said, "I'm going back in."

Just then, the alarms started going off and he said, "Holy shit, get locked down bud, I've got to get out the riot guns. Don't make me shoot your ass with the bean bags."

I took off running and said, "Francisco, out of the shower now!"

I ran and grabbed his shower supplies and Francisco with soaped down body began slipping and sliding his way across the slick concrete floor.

I said, "Francisco, on my back, I'll get you there! The war's started."

When I got to the top of the stairs, I had to drop Francisco as one of the newbies came running at me with a shank. Fortunately Francisco saw him and knew he was coming. He yelled, and I saw the guy from about 10 feet away. I dropped Francisco, and when the guy got to me, I dropped down and took his knees out. He fell forward over me and lashed out with the shank. I got caught in my ass. It stung like a motherfucker, but it wasn't lethal. Francisco being right behind me pulled the guy on over my back and took his towel and blinded the guy with it. By this time, I was already turned back around, and had the guy thrown into a cell. I slammed the door and figured he could explain to the goons why he locked down in a cell that wasn't his. His problem with me would be dealt with later.

Francisco said, "Boom, you o.k.?"

I yelled, "Go get ice!" I didn't mean to scream so loud, but the pain, burning, and stinging were enough to make the worst migraine seem like it was a baby compared to this feeling I had going on within me.

He was fully naked and ran to the cell and got the trash can. He ran down to the ice machine and was filling it by the time I got limped by Moose's cell. Moose having already locked in was looking through the door and said, "Boom, it's about a 3 inch gash. You're losing blood bud, but get him to ice you in, and sew you and you'll do fine. No vein's hit."

I said, "Thanks Moose"

He said, "If Francisco doesn't know how to sew, tell him I'll yell instructions. At least that will keep you alive until the goons are gone."

He paused and said, "You got plenty of grub?"

I said, "I keep at least 5 days back up at all times."

He said, "Take a look out at the yard, there's about 300 motherfuckers all fighting. The power's going to be down on this one, so get things cooked up you'll need cooked."

I went into the cell and started getting all my hidden artillary out of the hiding spots and opened the window. By this time, I saw the goons arriving and I could already see teargas canisters flying. We had about an hour of electricity left, so I had to get to cooking.

Francisco came in and said, "Boom get laid down and I'll get you fixed up. Just as soon as we get back out, that motherfucker is mine." He was pissed and the sound of his voice had me seeing a side of him I hoped I'd never see again. The animal within was raging and I didn't like it."

I said, "Babe, we have to cook, there's not time for sewing yet. They're going to cut the power and we'll have about an hour before that's done. When it happens, they won't turn it back on until every cell has been turned over and every weapon has been found. Take the muriatic acid and pour it over that comet in the bucket over those shanks and get them out of here. Cover your face with a wet towel. It'll get rid of the fingerprints on them and then just slosh them around in it. I don't care what you do, but get them out on the walk in a hurry before they start into the wing. AND, don't spill any on yourself because it will eat your skin off!"

Francisco started pouring the acid over the comet and the cell was instantly filled with fumes. I had a towel over my face and the fans running at the window. The skycams might catch the smoke, but the goons sure wouldn't catch the shanks.

Francisco had sloshed the shanks and was out on the walk dumping the whole thing over the edge...I sure hoped that no one was under it when it splashed. The kid would catch a hell of a case if there was."

He came back in and said, "Are we done out here!"

I said, "Go get the can rinsed out and get more ice. We'll need it for the sew up and possibly to drink. It looks bad out there."

I had looked out the window and the place was rocking worse than any I'd ever seen a prison rock. I could see bodies littering the yard and probably one hundred and fifty guys still fighting. The tear gas canisters were smoking and the goons were still attempting to achieve their initial battle formation. They were fully decked out in riot gear and had their shields up. The good thing was they were slow and I could still see their guns being offloaded from the truck."

Moose yelled, "You got your canned goods in yet bud?"

I said, "It's about hot enough, but not yet."

He said, "Get them in because I'd say we've got about 45 minutes of power. How's your ass doing?"

I said, "It stings like hell, but my adrenaline is keeping my mind off it."

He said, "It will that...it will that... When that tear gas gets up here, get your window shut and have your fans blowing out under the doors. Use the air vents up near the ceiling to pull air into your cell and out the door. It should keep your cell clear of getting dosed too bad."

Francisco came up to me and said, "Boom, this is going to sting like a motherfucker, but stay just like you are."

I didn't know what he did, but the sting hit and all of a sudden I felt like yesterdays breakfast was coming back up my throat. The stinging subsided and the throb began to replace it. I let out with a "OH GOD DAMNED!" and he said, "Babe, I've got it closed and I'm putting it together with packing tape. That should seal it up until we can get it sewed. I don't want it open any more than it's been."

I don't know where he got the packing tape, and I didn't know where he came up with the idea, but let me say this. All these years later, you can barely tell there's a scar there. The shit worked wonders.

I continued to look out the window and saw the formation of the goons was in place. They brought in the water cannon truck and Moose said, "We've got about half an hour bud before they hit the power. You all locked in?"

I said, The door's shut and Francisco has packing tape over my ass."

Moose said, "You've got yourself a damned smart little convict in there with you bud. I never thought of that, but I bet it works. GET YOUR CANS IN THE WATER BOOM!"

I turned around and pulled put both stingers in the trash can and began heating them. There were 8 cans of soup in the bottom and every ramen soup we had in the place on top of them. Francisco poured the water from the hot pot over them and then took a photo album out and opened it out and took the celophane off one of the pages. It was enough to put a good seal over the works. He looked at me and said, "I think we've got that done, what else needs to be done?"

I said, "Take a bottle of shampoo and get the sink filled with water. Squeeze the shampoo out on the walk and start pouring water out under the door. Clog the toilet and start flushing like hell. We want this motherfucker flooded and the water running out."

He looked at me and said, "What for?"

I said, "When the Goons come in, amnesty isn't going to mean a thing. They're going to rush this place and everyone is going to be beat up. That slick floor out there is going to keep them from getting too much traction before they run in on us."

He said, "I've got to get the laundry out from under the bed as well as those cases of soda."

I said, "Ice the soda down in the toilet when you're done flooding and the combination of the water and ice will super chill it. Then take that table salt and pour it over the whole mix. It should keep it for as long as this takes, if it's a big block of ice."

Francisco looked at me and said, "How long is this going to take?"

I said, "Babe, it's going to take at least 3 days minimum and from what I see out there, it's going to be more like a week."

He said, "Do we have enough food cooked?"

I said, "We'll make it, but some of these idiots in here should have had a war chest prepared. I bet you no old timer is going to do without though. I'd rather us be eatting cold food than no food."

The can goods were boiling, and Moose yelled, "They're moving! IT's going to be real fast now."

Francisco had thrown the stuff from under the bunk on his bunk and had the footlockers up there too. He took a towel, stuffed it into the toilet, and began flooding with the toilet. I could hear Moose's toilet flushing too and knew he was doing likewise. I hobbled over to the cell door and saw water and bubbles flowing out from under Brick's cell, so I knew they'd be safe. A lot of newbies caught onto what we were doing and suddenly all the toilets were flushing.

I got out the batteries for the boom box and had them all up in front of it. I'd just opened a package when the cell went dark.

I said, "Francisco, get the water swept out and fill the sink with water. We have about 5 minutes before the water goes too. Fill any container that will hold water with the water out of the toilet and get the towel out of the toilet and the sodas iced in."

He started filling containers and put them on the floor under the sink. I said, "Babe, take off all your clothes except for your boxers and be ready to hug a wall when they rush us. If we're doing that, they won't be too bad on us. Get the water swept out of the cell and get the laundry under the crack as a seal for the water coming back in. It will stay out if everyone runs out of water and stops flushing. For the most part, our job's about done except for riding it out."

I got out every bowl we had and began putting ramen soups into them. I poured the chilis over them and mixed them in. We had about 16 good meals. I then mixed up a huge bowl of the instant oatmeal and poured the water from the soups into it. We had enough to easily last a week without even having to get into the corned beef, and the cans of tuna I had on hand.

I looked over and Francisco was down on his hands and knees pushing water out of the cell with a rolled up towel. I said, "Babe, it will work better if you stand up and start slinging that thing around. He looked at me and I went over and make the towel into a huge ferris wheel spin. When it touched the water, it propelled it out of the cell. The air pressure off the fan motion made the pressure in the cell change and it pushed the water out. He looked at me and said, "I'm damned glad I'm in this with someone who knows what they're doing."

I said, "Convicts aren't dumb. We've had to do this probably a few thousands of times over the years. Information gets handed from one to another of what works, and we listen...believe me, we listen! It's the ones out there that are going to be starving to death in the next few days that will be listening too when it's all over. Now, fill everything you can with water babe because we're going to really be needing it. The sounds of those dumbfucks wretching in a few days because they don't have any water and are drinking out of the toilets they were stupidly been shitting in is going to be something you'll never forget."

Francisco looked at me and said, "We should tell them!"

I said, "Francisco, you go stand up and yell out that door and I can guarantee you one thing, not a motherfucker in here will argue with you. Most of the newbies won't even listen to you. They'll think you've gone insane and just hope you shut up. I can bet you they'd listen to you in about 4 or 5 days though when they've already fouled themselves to near death."

He said, "Boom, Where are we going to go to the bathroom since the toilet's being used as a deep freeze?"

I said, "Francisco, you're going to hold a chili can under my ass when I go and I'm going to do the same for you."

When you piss, you'll use the can from those pototo chips and pour it out the window tomorrow night. It will make a good urinal and the lid will seal it until we can pour it out. It's not going to smell too good in here, but for the most part, it's not going to be as bad as it would be in the newbies cells. The bad part comes when they do the clean out with the firehoses."

I got the batteries into the boom box, and then looked back out the window. There were some people still fighting over on the handball courts, but the old timers out on the yard were already heading down to the hole where they'd be processed in.

I said, "I'm glad Brick's got that guard in there with him. At least he know's what he's working with in there and it will keep him sane. Hopefully, he'll see some good time out of keeping the motherfucker alive.

Just then, I began to hear the gunfire of the bean bag rifles. The yard speakers went from a single continuous wailing siren to a voice telling everyone standing to lay on the ground. I heard Moose yell over, they just shot Bobby Tell in the back of his head! He's gone dude. His brains just came out his eyes!

I said, "Moose, get away from the window. You don't need to see them die tonight. This isn't ours anymore."

Moose said, "I can't believe Bobby didn't get himself out of the way sooner. He must've been out in the bloodlust too far."

I said, "Moose, Bobby had his options. He put himself off into the killzone."

Moose said, "Boom, I've been there. It's a helluva spot. At least Bobby don't have to worry about that no more."

I said, "Me too Moose, but you and I don't have to worry about that no more either. Now, get away from the window."

Moose yelled through the vent, "Boom, you all battened down over there!"

I said, "Our batting ain't under the door yet, but we're almost there."

He said, "Boom, I'm glad you wasn't out on that field tonight. With newbies stabbing you, who would've known who could've killed you?"

I said, "Moose, I'm glad I'm not out there either. At least our amnesty is going to be safe when this is done. Brick should see some good time out of this deal, so the timing couldn't be any better for him."

Moose said, "I can't believe they put a guard undercover on us."

I said, "Moose, who knows how many time's it's happened before."

(If you've never heard of a bean bag gun, I'll explain it to you. It's a shotgun that shoots beanbags. The beanbag when shot out of the barrel splays open and slows down the tragectory of the bag. When it hits a person, it will hit like a baseball bat and sting like a motherfucker. If hit in the head, it can knock a person out and even kill them. Most of the time, a guard shooting at someone with one, will aim at their body or the legs to take a person down. Some guards make it a sport of aiming high deliberately. No one gets blamed for aiming wrong and "accidentally" killing an inmate...after all, no one aims perfect all the time.)

Francisco had the water mostly out of the cell and I said, "Babe, take all the towels and roll them all up like a huge honey bun. That sort of roll, will soak up the water better and will stay put under the cell door. He did and I said, "We need to get the footlockers back down and have all the contraband out of here. If you have contraband, get it out the window. By the time the goons come, ANY contraband will be enough to get you a charge."

He said, "Boom, when I'm done, you go through mine and I'll go through yours to double make sure. I don't want anything I might think isn't to get me caught up."

I said, "O.k., but we need to have everything perfect for the rush of when they come through the door. It's most likely going to be at 4 a.m. when most of these people are asleep. Until this is over, we need to sleep in our own bunks. We don't need to be having them write us up for that."

We policed the cell and it took about an hour. The lights from the emergency lighting were enough to see in our cell as it shined directly into Moose's and our cells.

Moose yelled over and said, "Take a look outside dude!"

I went to look out the window and saw a sight which I hated to see. Fat Cat's body was getting carted out on the dead cart. The dead cart is probably the same cart I used to haul my possessions in the other day. Tonight, they were using it to pick up the dead and haul them to the morgue. From past experience, I knew the morgue was in the kitchen where they had the meat for the institution. They just stacked them in there and let them freeze.

I said, "Moose, I told the Cat to let his army fight at chow. I guess he didn't listen."

Moose said, "Boom, the thing about the Cat was he never learned to fight too good himself. He always counted on everyone else fighting for him. You and I can hold up, but it just killed him."

I said, "Moose, never in the times I've been through these things have I seen people I've known going down. I'm glad we stayed out of this one bud."

Moose said, "I'm glad you're still here too."

Francisco said, "Babe, it's time I start sewing your ass. If I don't, it could get infected and I want to do it while we still have some ice."

I said, "Moose, I'll chat later. Francisco's going to sew up my ass."

Moose yelled over, "Francisco, if you need help, I'll talk you through it."

Francisco said, "Moose, I've got it. He'll be amazed at how pretty his ass will look all sewn up!"

Moose busted out laughing and said, "Well, while you're sewing it, throw a few extra stitches in to make it tighter!" He then really began to laugh.

I chuckled and Francisco said, "Boom, I've got several things here I need to do so we officially don't have contraband in the cell. One of them is this lidocaine here and the other is that betadine. There's peroxide over there. It'll help with numbing and the surgery from being infected. You do your best to hold that lighter over that blade so we can have it germ free."

I said, "Francisco, it doesn't need cut again!"

He said, "Boom, the blade needs to be germ free so even when I cut the thread, it doesn't infect it. I'm not taking any chances on losing you after I got you."

I hugged him and kissed him and said, "Let's get this done, so I can just hold you."

He said, "Lay down there and I'll start to take off the packing tape. I'll be using plastic surgeon stitches, so the scars going to be really tight."

I said, "What the fuck, you know the difference between the stitches?"

He said, "Boom, there was a time I really wanted to go college for that. We didn't even begin to have the money for me to go to college, but it was nice to dream about."

When he pulled off the packing tape, it felt like he was ripping open the wound again. I gritted my teeth and tears came to my eyes, but I knew he was being as gentle as he could. I think him being gentle probably drug out the pain and made it more than if he'd just taken hold of it and yanked it off."

When the tape was off, he swabbed the area with alcohol pads and then began to pull the wound open. He said, "Boom, it's not deep, it's just long."

I said, "Well, do what you think's best, and I'll live with it."

He handed me the lidocaine and said, "Dip those q-tips in it and then hand them to me. I'll numb it from the inside. Tell me if you start to feel faint."

I did as he asked and he said, "That's enough, now you'll feel pressure as I'm putting in the betadine, and then you'll feel the stitches, but you shouldn't feel the pain. The stitches are going to be every 32nd of an inch, so there will be a lot of them."

I said, "Ninety six stitches? Jeezus!"

He said, "Boom, your ass is probably one of the most infection prone areas on your body. You'll be sitting on that toilet over there and be exposing yourself to all sorts of germs. I'm not messing around about this. You get the best I can give you."

I said, "Babe, I love you...forgive me if I'm being a baby."

He said, "Boom, you're not being a baby. You're being human. If I wanted a machine, you'd be getting C batteries and really be keeping me happy!"

I started chuckling and said, "HMmmmmmmmmm!"

He started chuckling and I heard Moose start laughing and knew he heard the joke."

When Moose stopped laughing he said, "Guys, you know what I'm giving you all as a wedding present!"

I started chuckling again and Moose said, "Francisco, you're one funny dude. You can take a serious situation and have people laughing their asses off...in this case, Boom's ass off...the surgery and the scalpel are in your hands doctor."

I began to feel the pressure of the stitches going in, but nothing more than that. Occasionally, Francisco would have me hold the cigarette lighter for him so he could see what he was doing, but the kid had talent for sewing in the dark.

When he was done, he had me coat another q-tip with lidocaine and then some with betadine. He put a 4x4 over the work and then used another strip of packing tape to cover it all. He then said, "Boom, I'm going to pour the salt over those pants and some of this peroxide over them too. It's a helluva gash in them, and they're probably ruined."

I said, "Oh don't worry, that little motherfucker over there will be buying me a new pair of pants and probably will be buying you a whole new wardrobe when this is over."

Moose said, "Boom, let me handle the situation so it doesn't look like you're strong arming him. If anyone asks any questions due to complaints, then the kid will end up with charges. It's his call of whether he wants to go that route."

I said, "Moose, I just don't want what he did to be ignored. It was bullshit because I've never had dealings with him."

Moose said, "You know why he did it. You're the toughest motherfucker in here. If he took you out, he'd be seen as being the toughest. Unfortunately, you know and I know it doesn't quite work that way...not in the arena out there."

A lot of times, I refer to prison being a motherfucker. For me, it is and was. A lot of people refer to it as being an arena or forum in gladiator terms. It has a way of being like that...the strongest survive and the weak fall.

Tonight, a lot of good people fell and the whole prison would shake and quake from the fall out of it. A lot of people would vie to gain position and be seen as the toughest. Everyone knew that and just by me saying I was stepping down from fighting didn't mean people wouldn't still try. They wanted the spot and the only ways I could give it up was to either fall fighting and lose, or die fighting. The option wasn't going to be that I'd just say to someone, I'm done fighting, leave me alone.....Not in this world."

When Francisco was done, he said, "Boom, let me lay under you and let's make out. That way, the pressure won't be on your ass and it'll take your mind off of it."

I smiled and said, "Babe, if you wanted to make out, you should have just said so."

He laughed and said, "Well, I really want to watch t.v., but your old ass would just want to watch the Golden Girls."

Moose busted out laughing and said, "Hey, I happen to like the old girls."

Francisco said, "You and Boom's age range, Moose. Need I say anything more!"

Moose said, "Boom, get that kid underneath you and tickle the hell out of him!"

By this time, Francisco was laying under me and said, "Don't you dare, I know where your scar is and I might need to sew a sign on that says Holland Tunnel with an arrow pointing."

I said, "oooh, that'd make you a little dutch boy then wouldn't it!"

Moose laughed and said, "Guys, I have to pay attention to my other half, I can't be laughing my ass off listening to you. Have a good evening. I'll yell over if I see any good shit."

I said, "Francisco, one moment, I'm going to put something on the boombox." I went over and put on a KennyG tape and then came back over.

He said, "You're going to get romantic?"

I said, "Hell, you numbed the pain, so I could lose my cherry without even feeling it!"

Francisco laughed and said, "Boom, not tonight, with all the tear gas, you'd have a piece of ass that really brought tears to my eyes."

Moose laughed and said, "I'm really not trying to listen guys, but my head happened to be over here in the corner."

I said, "That's o.k. Moose, what's your head doing in the corner?"

Moose said, "Well if you really must know...Spank that ass! Spank that ass!"

Both Francisco and I busted out laughing and said, "Moose, we don't really want to know."

Moose kept going and soon I heard, "Oh Fuck me daddy, fuck me!"

I laughed and Francisco looked at me and said, "Honey, are you too sore to make love?"

I said, "Honey, I don't know if having my legs in the air will bust open the stitches or not."

He said, "Boom, I want you to make love to me."

I said, "One second, I never got a chance to ask Moose how to go about doing it."

I went to the corner of the cell and said, "Moose, I need your help dude."

He said, "Oh oh oh oh!"

I said, "Francisco, hold on a second as Moose is in the oh's."

Francisco laughed and said, "Well, that's right before the ah's and the screaming of the 'I'm cumming!' if he's like you!"

I laughed and said, "Oh, you are so lucky Page didn't get a chance to embarrass you out there because he was sure planning on doing so!"

Francisco said, "Well, I would have rather been embarrassed than to be where we are now hon."

I said, "Me too, babe...well, not that I mean I wanted you to be embarrassed, but the other part."

He came over and gave me a hug and we looked out the window. I saw the dead cart out on the yard picking up bodies. I was counting and Francisco said, "Seventy two. That's a fucking lot of people. When do you think they'll start in with the goon squad?"

I said, "Well, the yard is under control. They still have to get control of any wings that are still rocking. Not everyone goes and gets locked down all the time, and they still fight in the houses. The goons are probably in those wings right now shooting up the place."

Francisco said, "Boom, have you ever been shot with one of those bags?"

I said, "Babe, it stings like a motherfucker. I wasn't actually shot, but I was...do you know what I mean?"

He said, "Boom, that was clear as mud...try it again."

I smiled and said, "O.k., at the walls, we had a situation once where the guards were popping those guns like the friggin' 4th of July. One aimed in my direction, I think more to get my attention than to actually shoot me, and he shot. The bag ricocheted off the floor twice like a rock skips across a pond. When it hit me, it hit me under my left nipple. When that son of a bitch hit, it was like I'd been punched by the most powerful motherfucker out on the yard. It doubled me over and my lunch instantly belched out of me. I wore a bruise the size of Montana there for a good six weeks. That's why when Bobby got hit in the back of his head, his brains came out his eyeballs. It's like getting hit with a baseball bat."

Just as I said that, I remembered a flashback of what I did. I said, "Francisco, I'm feeling sick."

He said, "Boom, maybe it's too much lidocaine, eat something."

I said, "No babe, I need to tell you what I did to get in here."

Francisco said, "Boom, it doesn't matter. The person I'm in here with isn't the person who did whatever you did...so, don't worry about it."

I said, "No, if we're going to be in this together for life, you'll always wonder and I want you to know the truth from me. Would you sit down for a moment so I can talk."

He sat down on his bunk and I sat with my elbows on my knees on the footlocker. He held my hands and said, "Boom, if this is going to be hard for you, look me in the eyes and know I'll love you no matter what you say."

I looked at him and instantly tears came to my eyes. I said, "Francisco, when I was a kid, I was real quick with the temper and a real jealous asshole. I had a girl friend once who went out with someone else rather than tell me she wanted to break up. As stupid as it sounds now, I thought I loved her. I know it wasn't love now, but back then, I really thought she was the perfect girl for me.

Well, someone told me she was out with this kid named Rob Schneider. Well, to put it bluntly, Rob was a kid who was a real horses ass. He was rich and he tried to grind everyone under his heel all of our lives. Just the same, something inside me snapped and I decided Rob needed an ass whooping. Being insecure, I went to the park where they were sitting together, and I called Rob out. I had a baseball bat."

Francisco said, "oh Boom..."

I said, "Babe, I beat Rob with that baseball bat and then ran like a pussy."

The next day, the sheriff came to the house and my mom let him in. He didn't ask me if I did it, he just told me I had to come with him. My mom put up a fight, and he ended up telling my mom what I did. That was the hardest thing ever. My mom believed in me and was willing to fight for me and when she heard what I did, she looked at me like I was a total stranger to her."

"The extent of Rob's injuries weren't known as he was laying in the hospital in a coma. All they knew at the time was he could possibly die. The sheriff told me if he died, I'd be charged with murder."

"I didn't want him to die, Francisco, I just wanted him to let me have my girlfriend."

All the pain and emotions I held in through the years came upon me and I started crying. I cried for my mama. I cried for Rob. And, I cried for my youth spent in a jail. At that moment, I was just overcome with all the guilt I'd never allowed myself to feel all these years. I'd locked it inside and had hidden it away in some little box and had put it away in the back of my mind. Now, it was opened and the person I loved the most knew, and as much as I felt right now, I knew if Francisco didn't want a thing to do with me, I'd have to somehow deal with it."

I looked at Francisco and said, "Babe, I don't want to lose you over this. I really want you to know I'll never do anything like that to you."

He looked at me and said, "Boom, I love you. If you thought that was enough to drive me away; it wasn't. I understand how you felt and I understand how you feel now letting it all out. You're afraid I'll think you're a monster and you're afraid I'll stop loving the man I know now. You're a different person now Boom, and live your life from this day on. You've told me and that's what matters to you, but I didn't have to hear it to still love you."

He looked at me and said, "Boom, the sergeant knows about my case. I'll tell you what happened and then you'll know once and for all what happened."

I said, "Francisco, you don't have to tell me."

He said, "No, Boom, you have to know. I don't want you wondering if there's something I didn't tell you. You see, they had my mom in a nursing home which didn't treat the patients right. Hell, four people had died there in three months. I went to see my mom one day, and she had burns on her feet and ankles. Not one burn, but both her legs were one solid burn from nearly the knees down. They'd put her on a seat and were going to give her a whirlpool bath. They lifted her up and the person put her feet and ankles in the water without checking the temperature of the water. It was nearly 180 degree. I know this because someone else did the same thing to an old man and they left him in the seat up over the whirlpool while they went to get his clothes. As he sat there, the lift lost hydraulic pressure and slowly immersed him into the scalding water. When the person got back, he was dead."

"I made a report on my mom's legs and nothing got done. The fucking state only said, 'We'll investigate your reports and will get back to you.'"

"Well, I decided then and there I was getting my mama out of there. I waited until dark and then I went to the nursing home. I snuck in and I took her out a fire escape. The people at the nursing home found her missing and reported it to the authorities. The next day, I admitted my mom into another nursing home."

"The problem with everything is I didn't make a police report and I never notified the nursing home. I figured she was my mom, I could take her. Well, my mom was under state's care, so the state had to approve it. When I took her, it's considered kidnapping. That's why I'm in here. The reason the sergeant is so up in arms is the person responsible for scalding my mom's legs is his sister. She lost her job and didn't get a single charge one, Boom. My mom lost her legs."

He started crying and said, "Boom, if I had to do it over again, I would...I would....I would..."

I hugged him to me as he cried. I felt so sorry for him. He cried for a long long time and finally, when his sobbing stopped, I said, "Baby, I'm so sorry. I wish I would have known you then. I would have been in here with you, or I would have taken the case."

He said, "Boom, we're in here together now and that's what matters. I'm looking at it that I had to be here in order to meet you. It might not be fair, but fate had to have it this way for us to be together. So, when you think of that guy, you think about it having to be this way. I know you're sorry you did it honey, and all I ask is if you ever get to that point again with your anger, you speak to me and let me know your feelings. I promise I won't cheat on you, and I promise to always love you and listen."

He looked at me and then kissed me. He said, "Boom, I don't care that you are afraid of hurting me while we're making love, but I need to have you make love to me now...not when Moose is ready and not when your dick gets smaller. The time's right and we'll figure it out ourselves."

I looked at him and said, "Baby, are you sure?"

He said, "Boom, get that lotion out and let's work on stretching my ass out. I figure if we put a finger in and out, we should get it lubricated enough to put your dick in."

I said, "Babe, my dick is sure a lot bigger than a finger."

He smiled and said, "Well, then put three or four in until you're doing sign language and can call home, but I need your dick in me and I'm not going to do without it."

I laughed and he said, "Boom, I want you to know the love I feel for you at this moment gets better and better as I get to know you. At our ages, I'm not settling for less than the next 70 years together. By then, you'll be a hundred and something, and I'll decide if I want to get rid of your old ass and trade you in on a younger model. Hell, I'll be in my early 90's and maybe an 80 year old will look good to me. So, you better play your cards right fella."

I laughed and said, "Oh, if that's the way it's going to be, then maybe when you dump me, I'll find someone my own age then! You know they'll have most of their teeth gone, and we'll be bumping gums."

He said, "Boom, that's gross."

I sucked my lips over my teeth and said, "Come here sonny, and let grandpa give you some gums."

I kissed him and he said, "Boom, am I missing something or did your old ass develope some lips because they sure seem fuller."

I began to laugh and he started to laugh and I said, "I can't win with you."

He smiled and said, "You won with me when you got me. Now, I'm here to make you remember that."

I said, "Babe, you're right. I'm the winner and I'll never let you forget it."

I said, "Lay back because I want us on that bed together."

He lay back and I said, "Lift your legs babe, I'm pulling those boxers off."

He lifted his legs and I peeled them off. He looked so fucking good there in nothing it was amazing. Some people do nothing but go out to buy clothes thinking the "clothes make the man", let me tell you, this man doesn't need the clothes.

I lay down on top of him and said, "Babe, I just want to kiss you and then we'll work up to it. I don't want you to ever think I'm going to lay down and just immediately be ready to shove it in. That'd be like having Thanksgiving and only eatting the turkey. Well, I've been on starvation rations and I'm not holding back from tasting everything on you.

He smiled and said, "Boom, you sure are a sweet talker."

I smiled and said, "Honey, what else can I say...you've discovered a candy heart under all the dust!"

He was about to say something and I shushed him with my mouth. Apparently, I found the way to shush the kid... I chuckled at the thought and He said, "What's funny?"

I said, "Oh nothing, I just found out the way to keep you quiet."

He started to make a comment and I kissed him again. I leaned back and said, "Yeah, it works pretty good. I'll have to remember that...I can't get a word in edgewise, but who gives a fuck when the benefits are this."

He said, "Boom, you can have a word in edgewise anytime you want."

I said, "Hon, I don't like talking with my tongue in someone else's mouth!"

I kissed him again and he chuckled. I leaned back and squirted some lotion on my hand and he said, "You think you have me all figured out."

I said, "Nope. Who in the hell can figure out what's going to happen next? I'm just along for the ride to see where the destination is..."

He said, "Well, let's see... I would say it's going to be a graveyard because that's how long I'm staying."

I said, "Babe, do you think they'll let us share a casket because I sure want to spend eternity with you."

He said, "Boom, let's make a deal."

I said, "Hon, you're too fucking young to remember the show! And, I'm not picking the door."

He said, "What?"

I said, "See, I told you you were too young."

He laughed and said, "Ohhh yeah, go ahead, tell me how young I am, you old coot!"

I said, "I knew it'd backfire on my ass, I just didn't know how it'd happen."

I said, "It just crossed my mind, you aren't even old enough to remember disco either."

He said, "I am too. I saw re-runs."

I said, "Hon, disco was something that had to be experienced by being there. It's like watching a concert on t.v., you just don't feel everything that was happening."

He said, "Well, I'm not an old codger, but I'll have to have you teach me to dance to it."

I said, "Oh....well, we'll dance in the cell because I'm not going to dance out in the wing."

He said, "No, I was thinking about out on the streets. We'll go to gay bars."

I said, "Hon, maybe some day, but the thought of someone other than you running their hands all over this body just doesn't appeal to me. If I go someplace like that with you, will they do that?"

He said, "Boom, I can't guarantee they won't. As fine as your body is, I know I'd do it."

I said, "Babe, you're welcome to any day, but I'd want everyone to know I'm already taken and to leave me the hell alone."

He said, "Boom, we could get wedding rings and wear them. That would tell others we're taken."

I said, "Hon, the wedding ring thing would be good for even every day use. I'd want everyone to know you've got my heart around your little finger."

I kissed him again and it was because the feelings I had for him were overpowering everything conversation could say. He apparently agreed because he was into the kiss as much as me.

The lotion on my hand was being rubbed in between his legs. It made things slick and feeling his tiny pucker rubbing against my hand was awesome in feeling. I began to rub my middle finger against it and then rubbed around it. He pushed against me and I probed a little with my finger. He pushed against my finger again and I rubbed around his hole again.

I pulled back from kissing and said, "Babe, when we start this, I want you to tell me if it hurts at all. I don't want you laying there thinking it has to hurt in order for it to be love. It's not going to hurt if I can help it at all."

He nodded and suddenly through the vent I heard. "Francisco, when he pushes in, you push out like you're taking a huge shit. That will loosen up your ass ring to allow him in. If you don't, it will hurt a lot more than it needs to."

Francisco smiled and said, "Moose, thanks bud."

I chuckled because I was intending on asking Moose to give me advice in confidentiality. Now, he's just blaring it out for everyone to hear.

I poured more lotion on my hand and then Moose yelled back, "Boom, if you're using plain baby lotion on him, take some cocoa butter and put it in with it. He'll have zits all over that pretty ass the way you're going!"

I said, "Moose, thanks bud, but I was going to use spit because I want to taste it as sweet as it looks."

Moose said, "Well that works too, but I've never tried it with a hog leg as big as yours."

I said, "Moose, do you have a boom box over there?"

Moose caught the hint and said, "Oh, I sure do...I've got just the song for you bud."

It was silent for a second and then the silence of the whole wing was suddenly interrupted with Donna Summer's Love To Love You. I started laughing and said, "He'll have the whole wing laughing their asses off in a moment."

I went over and got the cocoa butter and opened it. I took a dollup and rubbed it on my fingers. I leaned back over Francisco and said, "Here, this will keep the zits at bay and give you the softest ass ever."

Francisco smiled and said, "Well, o.k., but I thought I already had that!"

I smiled and said, "Yeah, but the milage it's about to get on it from me, it's going to get wore out."

He laughed and said, "Well, remind me to drag a bucket behind me then."

I laughed and said, "Well, that will be hard my kind sir because I'll have it drug behind me."

He laughed and said, "We'll be nothing but a couple of bucket draggers then."

I started massaging the cocoa butter in and then started to insert a fingertip. Francisco pushed out and it definitely made things smoother as my finger was suddenly allowed to go in knuckle deep."

Francisco's eyes got big and he said, "Ooh, that was a surprise!"

I said, "Did it hurt?"

He said, "No, it was just a surprise. I wasn't expecting it."

I said, "Well, it just opened up and let me in."

He smiled and said, "It wants you babe."

I kissed him and said, "I want it."

I began to massage around it again and then pushed inward again. He did the same and my finger went in. Rather than pull out, I started to push in and out to get the lotion/cocoa butter combination lubing the inward passage. His eyes squinted and said, "Boom, pull out for a moment."

I did and he said, "It makes me feel like I've got to take a big dump."

I said, "Well, let me move my finger around and I'll see if it does that everywhere."

We started up again and when my finger went in, as I pushed in and out, I turned my finger around. Francisco's eyes lit up and he said, "Boom, right there! It feels really good there!"

I pushed deeper and then he said, "Boom, put another finger in. I want you in me soon. This feels so good, I'll blow a nut before you're in."

I said, "Babe, whenever you feel like you need to, let me know and we'll ride out as many orgasms as you can handle."

He smiled and said, "Well, whatever you're touching in there will definitely have me cumming."

I pushed in again and then added my index finger in. The sensations he felt must've been good because he was laying back with a smile on his face and nodding his head. I spread my fingers a little and then rubbed the direction he said it felt good. I felt a bump in there and touched it. He moaned and said, "That's it...that's it!"

I said, "There's a bump in there." I touched it again and he moaned. I did again and he moaned again."

I said, "It must feel good."

He said, "Put another finger in and put some more cocoa butter on it."

I did and put a bigger dollop of cocoa butter on. I added my ring finger and started sliding them in and spreading my fingers some when I pulled out. After a few moments, I began touching the spot and Francisco said, "Boom, I'm about to cum."

I continued to focus on the spot and reached over and put my mouth over the head of his dick. It was already leaking pre-cum like a faucet and the taste of it was wonderful.

I sucked gently on the head and then began to bob up and down with the thrusts of my fingers. When I touched the bump, I made sure I was sucking on the head of his cock. Then I'd go on down and pull off as I pulled my fingers out.

Francisco started to really moan and suddenly he was thrusting up into my mouth. He let out a small scream and I felt the jets of his love shooting towards the back of my throat. I plunged down and then rubbed the bump within him. It seemed the jets turned into a gush. He let out a strangled scream that sounded like a real animal. And then collapsed back onto the bunk.

His ass suddenly relaxed and I took the opportunity to add lotion and get a fourth finger in. I had them all nearly up to the palm of my hand when he came back around. His moans were back again and he said, "Boom, it's stretched enough. Lube yourself up and put it in me."

Now, here's where the dilemma happens. A man isn't born with enough hands. I had one hand stretching him out and had one hand that was supposed to lube my cock. Where I was going to get the hand to put pour the lotion, I don't know, so, I just stuck the head of my cock in the cocoa butter jar and wormed it around in it. The amount of cocoa butter that came out of the jar on my cock probably could have lubed the whole wing, but I figured if it helped him to not hurt, it was about enough.

Here's another dilemma. My finger is only so long. My dick on the other hand is way longer. I was wondering to myself, do I just lube up the first 5 or 6 inches, or do I lube the whole thing. I didn't want him to think I was going for gangbusters, but I didn't want to be unprepared. So, I lubed the whole thing.

When I was prepared, I kept my fingers in and when I pulled them out, I put the head to his hole and gently pushed. He smiled and said, "Go easy, but it feels good."

The position wasn't the best in the world. We were on a bunk bed that even in good circumstances a person can't sit totally upright. I'm trying to do that, and achieve penetration. The most I could get in was about three inches. I could tell by the look on Francisco's face, that wasn't keeping him satisfied.

He said, "Boom, put my legs up over your shoulders and lean up over me and kiss me. I can take it."

I tried, but trying to do it while my cock's still inside him wasn't happening. The toss up of achieving good penetration was going to be I'd have to pull out.

I did and got reposition. As soon as I put the head of my cock back to his pucker, I could tell it saw it had opportunity to go on strike and it did. I looked down into his eyes and said, "Babe, push out."

He said, "O.k."

He did and I pushed. Well, the two in conjunction together wasn't the best idea. I sunk deeper than I intended and the look on his face was pure agony. The tone of voice and the loudness of which he yelled, "Pull it out! Pull it out! Pull it out!" I'm sure woke the dead out on the yard. I know Moose started laughing and said, "Easy fella's I think the people over in the next house might've not heard you."

Francisco laughed and I kissed him and apologized. He said, "Boom, it's our first time. We'll learn, but damn, that thing's huge! Just go slower and I'll try not to scream so loud."

I put the head back at his pucker and then leaned over and kissed him. He nodded his head and I could tell he pushed out. The head went in and I slammed on the brakes. I gave him time to adjust and then began to push in and pull out. He nodded his head and I pushed in more. When he nodded his head, I had nearly 2/3 of it in. I began to push in and out, but the heat of his body enveloping me was nearly enough to push me over the threshold. It was so fucking tight it was incredible. I went slower and caught an idea to push in a little more than I was pulling out. Soon, he said, "Babe, I'm about full."

I said, "Babe, you're about full because it's about all in."

The look on his face was such that he couldn't believe it himself. He said, "Boom, call me Lucy, but I only thought I had about half of it in me!"

I said, "Well, babalu babe, I love you!"

He gave me a look and said, "Tell me that's some more of that shit you should have saved for the senior center."

I laughed and said, "I'd tell you you had a smart ass, but all I can say now is it's a tight ass."

He smiled and said, "Boom, I love you."

I said, "I love you too."

I began to thrust again and then started to move my hips in a figure 8. I guess he approved because he was nearly breaking my neck with the scissor lock he had with his ankles. I bottomed out and I could tell he felt my pubic bush against his ass. He said, "Hold it right there. I want to feel you all the way in."

I did and he said, "Man, I never thought I'd get it all in me, but I did and it feels awesome."

I said, "Babe, we've only started, When we get to going, it's going to be truly awesome to me too."

He looked at me and said, "Oh, I'm sorry Boom. Go ahead and start because I want you to feel what I am."

I started again and within a few strokes, I could tell I was back to being 100% with no softness. This time when we were bottoming out, I began to kiss him harder and he began to rub my nipples. The sensations were to the point I was nearly losing it. He pulled away from my mouth and started kissing my neck and then grabbed my nipples. The feeling went like a rocket from good to awesome to awesome to suddenly just feeling like I was pouring my nuts out through the head of my dick. The flashes of light were going off and I was in the disco again.

I slammed into him and unloaded and froze. I lay across him and he was panting like he was running a race. I began to recover and realized his panting might be from me crushing him. I did my best to pull off him and he said, "NO, stay where you are. I love the feeling of you in me."

I said, "O.k., but it's going to shrink up and probably pull out."

He said, "Boom that thing is nearly 8 inches long soft. Even if it shrinks, I think it will stay in."

I smiled and said, "Am I crushing you? You were panting and I was thinking I might be too heavy for you."

He said, "Oh, No Boom. I was recovering from cumming myself."

I said, "When did you jack it? Your hands were all over me!"

He said, "Boom, I didn't have to. You jack hammered whatever it was inside me until I just came without doing anything."

I looked down between us and my chest was covered as his was with his cum. I reached down and scooped up some with my finger and licked it off. Call me a leach, but the kid's come tasted like the filling from a creme filled bismarck. I told him, and he said, "Boom, do you realize you have enough cocoa butter on your hands that anything is going to taste tropical!"

I smiled and said, "Oh."

He said, "That's o.k., babe, I'm happy you used that much."

I said, "Well, I've got to clean you up, and we don't have much water."

He said, "Boom, just wipe me off with a towel because I'm sure I'm going to want to do that again later."

Interestingly, I pulled out and got the towel. I cleaned him up and dabbed around his ass. I looked at it, and it looked puffy, but not like I thought it would.

We lay back on the bed and I lay behind him. Kenny G was still playing and I said, "Babe, I love you."

He said, "Boom, I love you too. Man, that was the best ever. Promise we'll do that until the days that we're old and even when we get to the nursing home, we'll fill the hearts of everyone with jealousy that we've got it so bad for each other....With Love."

Author's Note:

For everyone who's read this, I never actually was in a prison that "rocked" (rioted).

I used it because it was a fear we always had in there. The stories would come down from old convict to new and everyone listened. Everyone took in what they could use and do to make themself be able to ride out the time.

I thought about using real inmate's names who died in there as inmate's names in this story as a sort of memorial. Kevin told me it wouldn't be cool and to save those people's names for our memories and just never forget them. Believe me, that list is entirely too long.

Those of you who've never been to prison, I can't describe the atmosphere. It's tense and it's like walking on eggshells. One gets used to it, but when a fight or war does break out, then the feeling goes up to hyper level.

One inmate I will mention in this spread is Tiny. Tiny took a stabbing over me in order to be assured I would go home. He was stabbed nine times with an icepick shank. When we talked later, he said he didn't feel the first seven times of being stabbed. He said it felt like he was getting punched. Due to the health problems of recovering, Tiny had two strokes and a heart attack. He got out of prison early due to the health complications, but I know that personally I'll never be able to thank him enough. The stabbing was intended for me. It takes a helluva friend to take a stabbing to make sure the friend is able to go out on the streets healthy. He did that for me. Tiny, wherever you are, know I love you.

This is Chapter 5....well, duh! But, I've got a lot I want to get into the next chapters. I want the final chapter to be where they both get home and then do a follow up. As you should know, this story is a whole lot auto biographical. I'd love to fill you in on what's going on with us.

Until then,

From my keyboard to your heart,

Retta

"With Love"