With Love

"With Love"

Chapter Six

By

Retta Michaels

Author's Notes:

Stick a fork in it, it's doun...intentional misspelling and a private joke between Kevin and I. Done spelled Do U in...

After this, there will be a prologue chapter. It will give updates to the characters in this story.

Now to the disclaimer.

If you are under the age of 18, don't read this. If you do, learn from this story. Prison isn't fun and don't do what it takes to get there.

If you are in a country, or locale, which doesn't authorize you to read erotica, then please do what you need to in order to be free to do so. Sometimes governments and religions fail to realize boys can love boys and girls can love girls. Just because they're not enlightened doesn't mean you have to stay in the dark...move and get yourself to someplace better.

Chapter 6

After we were through, the wing was deathly quiet. Usually, there's someone who wants to be stupid and stand up at their door and scream to a buddy across the wing. Tonight, everyone was quiet. It was my hope they were sitting back and thinking about how they were going the live the next few days without power or water.

With the lidocaine in my system, and the afterglow of good loving has subsided, I was drowsy as hell. Francisco saw I was nodding off, and said, "Boom, you sleep down here. I'll sleep up there. That way, if you have to jump down, it won't bust open those stitches."

I said, "Babe, I really appreciate it. I'd rather be in the bunk with you."

He said, "We have the rest of our lives, it's not going to kill us to be apart when it matters."

I said, "O.k., but I don't like it."

About 3 a.m., we heard a helicopter land out in the yard. I heard it and came up out of the bunk with a start. The unfamiliar sound and the wondering who it could be had my stomache in knots. All I knew was the goons hadn't struck yet, and rather than be unprepared, I wanted to have every advantage of being ready.

Francisco was up and sitting on his footlocker. I said, "Babe, don't you ever sleep?"

He said, "Boom, for some time, I've never slept more than a couple hours a night. I don't know why, but for me, that's enough. Usually, I take this time to write letters to my mom, but she's not there anymore. I don't know what I'm going to do."

I said, "Sweetheart, if you write to my mom, she'll write you back. I can't count the number of people who aren't related to me that call my mom 'Mom'."

He smiled and said, "Well, she did welcome me to the family and did tell me to write to her, so I'll start writting her letters."

I said, "Hon, don't strain your eyes, and use my lamp up there when you write. Until this is over, don't write...o.k.? I don't want you hurting your eyes."

He and I talked and about 10 minutes later, I heard the wing door pop. I looked at Francisco and he went over to the wall and spread eagle. I was headed there, but looked out the cell door. The sight I saw was blowing my ass away. The governor was standing there and the superintendant was there too. Our door got popped as did Moose's and Brick's. I opened it and the super said, "You guys, come on down here. I'm taking every one of you to the Major's hut. You'll be lucky if you stay in this motherfucker when I'm through with you."

I looked at Moose and he cracked a small smile. Francisco looked at me and said, "Sir, you want us naked, or clothed?"

The super said, "I need your asses down here now!"

I trucked on down and felt Francisco behind me. Brick and his celly came out and I heard Moose 's celly come down the steps. Moose hadn't come down yet, and when he did, he had his portfolio with him and slammed his door loud. He went over to our door and slammed it even louder."

He said, "That's just in case someone wants to search it while we're not there."

We got together, and the super said, "Am I going to have a problem with you all, or do I need a guard and shackles."

I said, "I've got a stab wound, so you can count on me not putting up a fuss."

The super said, "Where've you been stabbed?"

I said, "My ass sir."

He looked at me like I was lying and started to smile and I showed him the bandage.

The look of shock was on his face and then he said, "Richard, I thought you weren't going to fight."

I said, "Sir, whomever it was came at me and I took out his legs. He fell over me and stabbed me on his way down. Francisco helped me to the cell and got me treated."

He nodded to Francisco and turned to the governor and said, "You call this kid's mom and assure her he's o.k. because I'm sure your office will be fielding calls from her...and Lord help them if she doesn't speak with you."

The governor started to say something and the super said, "No, John, this kid's mom speaks to me like she's your mom. Believe me, she'll know if you're shucking and jiving her."

The governor smiled and said, "Richard's your name?"

I said, "Yes."

He said, "I'll call her and let her know you're o.k., and this wasn't your doin'."

I said, "Thanks sir."

The super walked us out and we got halfway across the yard when he began to speak. He said, "Guys, that's the only way I could get you out of here to make it look good without your cells being shook down. John there is my best friend for life and as soon as he heard what happened here, he hauled ass in. Let me tell you that whomever is responsible for this is going to have a hell of a hard time not seeing the rest of his life in here."

I said, "Sir, he's already saw the rest of his life in here. He died."

The super said, "Who was it, and why did this happen?"

Moose said, "The who of it was Fat Cat. The why, well, would it matter? Someone pissed him off and he went to war, but it wasn't all his army that was fighting tonight. There were a lot of people who were out there fighting, but you can rest assured with the amnesty, us guys weren't even outside."

The super said, "You got stabbed in the wing Richard?"

I said, "Well, yeah, but don't worry, I'll take care of it."

The super said, "Richard, don't do anything and just let me know who it is."

I started to decline the offer when Brick's celly said, "Superintendant, these guys know I'm not one of them."

The super stopped and looked at him and said, "How the hell did that happen?"

I said, "Sir, tonight after supper, Venito caused some problems. Francisco put him down and I finished the problem. They took me to medical to prepare me for lock up and I guess someone viewed the skycam and saw Venito started it. Well, the guard there said something which alerted me to someone being in our house. I put two and two together and realized the only people who would warrant observation in the house would be Me, Moose, Brick, or Fat Cat. Well, I hadn't known Francisco long and as soon as I got back to the cell, I told Brick to go do something sexual for his celly. For me to speak that openly in the middle of the wing, Brick had to know it was important. I know I went up to the cell and demanded to have sex with Francisco. If it had turned out to be Francisco, sir, the war tonight would have been light compared to how violated I felt. I was deciding which guards I'd kill first. Then, Francisco was going to have sex with me, and Brick yelled up my package was in his cell. That told me the guard was Brick's celly."

I turned to Brick's celly and said, "Now, if Brick doesn't come back to the cell with you, it's going to look suspicious as hell. I will guarantee the rest of us will protect your ass, but super, you've got to get Brick some good time on that table. Brick's a helluva nice guy and he doesn't need to be known as a snitch lover."

The super turned to the guard and said, "Do you think you can go back in?"

The guard said, "Sir, if they keep my cover and offer protection, it won't look too suspicious as to them protecting me as Brick and I are supposed to be lovers."

The super said, "How far will you allow your cover to go before you can't do it?"

The guard said, "I'll do what I need. We still haven't gotten what I really want to find out."

I looked at the guard and said, "What the hell information are you wanting to find out that's worth your life?"

The guard said, "Well, first of all, call me Jared...that's my real name. The information we are looking for is to see how much information gets carried out of the prison and how the drugs get brought in."

I looked at him and said, "Whew...you don't want much and the pipeline isn't going to stop once you know. You need to realize the guards around here only make so much money. When someone out there offers them at least three times that much to play the part of mule, there's always going to be someone who takes the offer. The thing about it is the ones who don't take the offer know too and after they see the one start making the money, they all hop on board. It's not a question of what guard is doing it, but which guards are doing it. It's a whole fucking syndicate."

The super said, "How do we stop it?"

I looked at the super and said, "Sir, there's only a few ways to stop it and you can't get any of them done. The first one is you can have all the guards live with us and never go home. Or, you can strip search the guards coming in, or you can have the guards all wear different clothes and not be allowed to bring in lunches from home. They have to eat here and they have to undergo body cavity searches. Not a one of those things is legal, so you can't get it stopped."

The super said, "So, you're saying all the drugs come from guards?"

I said, "Oh hell no, some comes in from visits, and some comes in from inmate workers who are allowed outside the fences. You can strip search the inmates coming in, but you probably won't find anything without a body cavity search. The inmate's visitors on the other hand would have you sued to oblivion if you stripped them."

He said, "We have them authorize us to consent in order to see inmates."

I said, "Sir, just make one move towards my mom to take her clothes off and I bet you'll see a writ before she pops a button. Then, I bet she has you sued on behalf of all the other visitors who did strip."

He said, "So, you're telling me drugs aren't going to stop in here. Is that it?"

I said, "Sir, there was a time I was strung out on heroin so bad I was popping $50 a day. That in here is a kings ransom, but I was able to get the cash in here and I was able to get the drugs. I didn't bother anyone, I just stayed in the zone. Now, I'd not touch a thing because Francisco means that much, but if he leaves, then I'll probably need the pain numbed."

Francisco looked at me and said, "Boom, I'll probably go home before you and I'd hope you could live on hope for the amount of time it took for us to get you out. Now, don't be telling me that shit and have me worried."

The super smiled and I said, "Francisco, I love you."

The super went over to Francisco and said, "Kid, you're damned good. I can see why he loves you. You call him on the carpet in a heartbeat and he loves you for it."

Moose said, "We going to stand out here all night? I imagine they're all staring out those windows and I don't feel real comfortable having them seeing us get affectionate with the super."

The super nodded and said, "You're right, I should have had you in the Major's hut."

We double stepped to the major's hut and when we got in there, we saw a bunch of faces who all looked familiar. The super turned to us and said, "Who you see in here is in the same boat as you all are. They've been given amnesty one way or another. It's not up to you to judge them, and it's not up to them to dare say a word about you. Richard, I need to see you in this office."

I went into the office and he said, "Richard, I'm going to level with you on one thing. This afternoon, I heard rumors of what was going to happen. I came to your cell to ask you what you knew and I saw you two asleep. I decided to cover you up, and that's when you woke."

The first thing I want to know is if you can prepare a report on the drug situation. The second thing I'm going to level with you on, is this...the person I just introduced to you is my lover. You should know because I'm asking him to do some favors for your bunch out there. He might, or he might not, but Richard...if he does do you a favor, it's going to be on the quiet because he doesn't want us out publicly and he doesn't want the world he did a bunch of favors for gay inmates."

I nodded my head dumbly. I was still confused. He's telling me that he and the governor is gay , or is he referring to someone else? I don't know. I was going along with what the man wanted because it might get my ass out of here sooner.

He said, "Richard, the guards hauling drugs in here. Are they hauling in hard drugs, or pot?"

I said, "Sir, pot can be gotten through the usual channels of the inmate workers. The stuff which comes in from the guards is heroin, meth, crack, and pills. None of them mess with cocaine anymore as crack is so prevailant."

He said, "How much does this stuff go for?"

I said, "Well, I told you I paid $50 a pop for my heroin. That money was wired street to street which means I had a person out on the street who wired the money to the person out there. The person who wired it for me, wired $300 a week. I usually got a kick of the seventh day."

He said, "If I test you now for drugs, are you going to be clean?"

I said, "Sir, I've been clean since before I left the walls. All of my deals were behind the walls, but that doesn't mean I've been blind here."

He nodded and said, "Jared out there is a partial find of mine. I want him to have a big bust so he can get a real high profile name for himself in the system. If he can get a high profile name as being one that will go the limit to get busts...and he can get a real good bust, then he'll be a contender for either my position or one like it when I'm ready to retire. You got me?"

I said, "Sir, I'm not going to make the deals for him and then have the rug suddenly pulled out from under me with me left holding a fucking case. And, I'm not letting anyone out there do the same thing. If that's your thought, I'll end this conversation now."

He said, "No Richard, it's not that at all."

I said, "O.k., here's the next deal breaker. If anyone who is gay and gets amnesty in our wing is approached by him, I'll pull that person out of the deal. If I've got to, I'll jeopardize your guard. I don't give a fuck about some of those people out there, but someone who's only trying to get by and is willing to fall in love in here isn't going to be set up by me or anyone I know."

He said, "Richard, I agree totally."

I said, "Every other motherfucker out there, well, they're free game to me. I won't push the shit, and I won't have anyone out there push it either. Our hands don't touch it at all. I'll simply point the finger in the right direction and what deals get made get made. I'll be the intermediary for those guys out there so they're not seen or heard giving information to him. I'll tell Brick, and Brick passes along the information."

He said, "That's good. The less seen, the better."

I said, "Now, here's the deal I want. Brick gets out of here the soonest as he's the one who is celling with him. When the kid disappears, Brick goes home. The parole deal out there is one year max...not 5 years, but one. That's long enough for readjustment and it's long enough to let the state know he's legit.

The deal I want for Moose and his celly are they go home within two weeks together. They're into making love with each other, so their paroles are they can see each other out there and they'll do two years on paper. They will be allowed to get out 2 months after the kid and Brick.

The deal I want for Francisco is he gets to go to his mom's memorial service and he gets to go home six months from now. You know and I know he's harmless to society and it's a totally bogus crime he's in here on. Francisco is allowed to go home to my town, and he's to be given one year of unsupervised parole.

As far as me, I don't really care. I'd like to think I'd be able to be out in a year, but after Francisco is gone, my heart will have left the building. As long as he's safe, I don't care. If you do get me a deal, I would like to have the ability to see Francisco, and be able to only do a year or so of parole...with real lenient guidelines."

He smiled and said, "Richard, your mom's not going to go for that shit. Just as soon as Francisco gets out, she's going to be ringing the phone so much it's going to give me nightmares and when I wake up, the phone will be ringing. She'll probably have an army of people all calling until I answer the damned thing. Then, she'll have my office down here staked out and will have a huge photo of you in it sitting and staring at me every day. So, I'm not going to go through that."

I laughed and said, "Well, at least you've not gotten to the loudspeakers or the bi-planes flying over!"

He laughed and said, "Your mom is too much like mine. I love mine, but man she can come out fighting."

I said, "Well, maybe I should tell my mom to network and contact your mom for backup!"

He said, "Don't you dare! My mom doesn't have enough to do with her spare time now and she'd gladly take up the cause."

I laughed and said, "Do we have a deal?"

He said, "Richard, we're going back out there and when I get on that helicoptor, I'm going to shoot John the deal. He has a softer and more sentimental side to him than me. So, I think he'll tell me to do what I want and to get the paperwork to him...and Richard, if he does this, it will be commuted sentences for everyone. The case which will be brought to light will be Francisco's. It's the one which will pull at every heart string in this state. The only thing people won't see is the other names on the paperwork which gets rammed through. The deal I'm making will be everyone has to ride this out until late November or early December. I want it to hit the press before Christmas...a regular 'feel good' story which will quickly get pushed out of the press by all the other Christmas festivities. Then, the release will be in February with absolutely no press."

I looked at him and said, "It's October now, so you're telling me this is to run another month and then next February, I'll be out!"

He nodded and I said, "Super, you just made me weak in the knees. You're not going to bullshit me on this are you?"

He said, "Richard, absolutely not. Get the deals made and protect him and don't let him die and I'll keep my word."

I said, "Sir, one other question. If your guard has sex with Brick voluntarily, and things build between them, are you going to stand in the way?"

He said, "Richard, Jared is gay. If he falls for Brick, then I support it totally. I'll even do what I can to see Jared is able to spend time with Brick out on the streets."

I said, "O.k., I've got to go talk to everyone and get their approval, but I think the timing's right on this. People will see me out hustling and think I'm taking up slack after the place rocked. They won't know any different."

The super said, "Richard, get word to the guard in your house named Page. He's my brother in law and use the word "nanny goat" when you refer to a guard who's hauling drugs in. Try to get word to him on that shift the guard had drugs on him that day. Then, I can have the guard met by drug dogs at the front gate. If they have any scent on them, they're going to ride the fence and not be allowed back in."

He said, "Richard, one month from today, I'm changing procedure with the guards. I'm going to install a plexiglass partition with a drug dog on the other side of it. The dog will sniff each guard on the way in. If the dog goes off, then that's probability cause. I can then strip the guard and find the goods. No matter what, they won't be allowed in the fences. Be forwarned drugs are going to be damned expensive in there because I'm going to stop that pipeline."

He smiled and said, "Richard, I might be giving too much away, but I want John and I to be able to see you and Francisco out there and be able to pull strings for you two. If you need help, I want to help you. I think your relationship will work, and I think it'd be nice to be a beneficial part of it. Be thinking of a business or venture you want to go in which will give you instant clout in your community. We'll get it going. The only deal I want on that is when John runs for any more offices, you'll be out there in our corner pulling for him."

I said, "Sir, you can count on it."

He said, "Richard, good luck."

I said, "Sir, you tell John he's got someone worth keeping."

We stepped out into the lobby and said, "Sir, can all of us use that office so I can speak to everyone?"

He pointed towards it and said, "Knock yourself out...and Richard, I want your ass looked at by medical."

We all went into the office and I shut the door. I said, "Guys, the deal is this. We help Jared get his deals done in this manner. You all can get info on who's buying and who's selling, but that information comes to me who then takes it to Brick. Jared, Brick gives you the info in the cell and no other place. We aren't to touch the shit, and we're not going to do anything more than be information mediaries."

I turned to Jared and said, "Jared, in return for the next part of the deal, you have one month to get all the information you can possibly use. You better be up at the crack of dawn and run the shit until it can't be ran anymore. If there's a guard acting as mule, get the info to me and I'll get the name out of here. Absolutely not do you go on rumor or innuendo. I want the facts because this information is going to fuck up lives. I won't have it on my head that I ever messed with anyone who didn't deserve it."

I looked at everyone seriously and said, "Now, here's the deal. In return for what I just spoke about, we're out of here in February. Jared, just as soon as you leave, Brick's gone too. The rest of us are out in February. The transactions and everything stop either at the end of November, or the beginning of December."

I said, "Francisco, your case is going to be the key to this whole deal. It's going to be publicized and played for the press as the system fucked you raw. In the paperwork of them getting you out, the paperwork for the rest of us is going to be put in front of the governor to sign. That will play out right before Christmas so it can be dismissed quickly by the press."

Francisco looked at me and said, "So, you mean we'll all be released in February for working on this for the next month?"

I said, "Yes, and all that is required is to keep your ears open and your mouths shut about Jared."

Moose said, "O.k., what about my boy and I. Can we get out of here together and go home to live together?"

I said, "Moose, your sentence and his are going to be commuted which means no parole. When we leave, we leave free. No nooses hanging over our heads and no parole officers to hatchet us. When we all leave, we're on our own merits."

Moose said, "February, man, that's going to take some getting used to. It's be 27 years since I've been out there."

I said, "Moose, I completely understand. They've got cell phones now, and computers. The world is a changed place and it's strange to me. When I was out there last, CD's were the new thing and video tape players were what everyone wanted. Hell, not many people even had a microwave! And the Delorean was the hottest car out there!"

We laughed and Francisco said, "Damn hon, you really are old!"

I hugged him and said, "O.k., now we've got to vote. Is it a deal, or do I tell the super we're not doing it?"

Moose said, "Boom, I trust you already told him yes for us all and that you're only in here to fuck with us."

I said, "No, Moose, I told him I wanted to ask you all so I'd have your word completely we were in."

I said, "Now, let's vote and let's get the fuck out of here. Anyone who's not in, hold up your hand and I won't hold it against you."

Jared held up his hand and said, "Guys, you all are taking a huge risk for me. I can't let you do it."

I said, "Jared, we're willing to take the risk because there's something in it for us. We don't know you, but we're willing to gamble on you in order to be free. Freedom might not mean much to you, but to us in here, it means everything. It means Francisco can go to his mom's memorial service. It means Moose and his guy can have a chance of love together without a guard looking over their shoulders and someone in the cell listening to them spank each other. It means when Francisco and I make love, I can get just as loud as I want and shake the headboards through the wall without everyone knowing our business. It means Brick over there can get to know you on a level that might mean each of you will find the love you two deserve. It means my mom can go to sleep at night and not say a prayer of thanks I've not been killed and that I won't get killed tomorrow. She can actually rest and know life is going to be good for me."

Jared looked at us and said, "Guys, I'm really sorry I'm putting you through all this. If you want to stand behind me, I really appreciate it." He turned to Brick and said, "Babe, if you'll have me, I'll do everything I can to build a relationship with you. You were ready to lay down your life tonight for me and you were ready to keep me clothed and fed when you really didn't even know me. For those things, I know you're a great person inside and I want to get to know that person."

Brick teared up and said, "Jared, I want you so bad it's pitiful."

Jared turned to us and said, "I'm in. One thing I want us to do right now is to make it a point of telling each other our doubts and our hopes. I want you all to be super close with me in the next month so I know you're completely on board with me through it all. I don't want you all hurt over this and most of all, I want your friendships. I want us to stay in touch and for us to get out of here and have phone calls which keeps us all in touch."

We all walked out of the room and I looked at the super. I nodded my head and he smiled. He said, "Let's get you back to your cells. The squad has just gotten through with your wing, and you'll find your cells a mess, but the power will be back on in each wing which has been turned over. There won't be any rec and there won't be any dining hall privledges until we get a full handle on it...and probably for several more days, but I want you all to know you're going to be watched closely and protected from afar. Take a look at all these guys in this room. If you have problems, you look towards them. They'll help you, or they'll find themselves unemployed."

I looked around the room and all the familiar faces I'd seen were looking back at us. I said, "Moose, the answer to the question of if it's been done before is...it definitely looks like it."

Moose smiled and said, "Damn, there's a lot of them."

We were all walked back to the housing unit and when we got to the cell, the firehoses were just being rolled out. I made a point of being really loud about our displeasure of having everything overturned, and being plenty pissed. In actuality, I wasn't bothered one bit. I now had hope and didn't give a shit about these trivial games.

I looked at Moose and said, "Moose, you get to that kid that sliced me and you put the scares into him, but don't get yourself in a mess. Now, between you and I, Francisco has asked for a moment of the kid's time in a locked cell. I'm giving that to him if Francisco wants it still."

I looked at Francisco and he said, "Boom, for public appearances, I have to do it, but I really don't want to do it anymore. My only focus now is to get through these next few months."

I said, "Babe, you've got to get ready for your mom's memorial service. And, we've got to get this cell ready for a hose out."

Francisco said, "O.k., how do we go about it?"

I said, "Well, babe, here's how it happens. Everything which is in the desk compartment goes up on my bunk. The footlockers and everything goes up there. The mattresses are stripped and all the clothes go out to where they are washed by the hoses. The mattresses go on top of everything else as they've got that waterproof covering. They'll do one cell at a time, and when it comes our turn, they'll pull everything we want out onto the walk. We're going to only put the things which are plastic and can get wet out there as the water's going to be coming out of here about an inch deep."

We heard the hose kick on and the first cell begin the wash down. It took about 20 minutes for each cell and we were on the top walk. If they didn't take any breaks, it would take about 9 or 10 hours to get to us.

I looked at Francisco and said, "Babe, we've got to talk about something else."

He looked at me and said, "What?"

I said, "You're for real about being in this for life, aren't you?"

He said, "Boom, yes, I am completely."

I said, "Good, the super and I talked in confidense and he wants me to tell you he and the governor are lovers."

Francisco looked at me with shock in his eyes and said, "O.k., I'm supposing something else is going to be said here because that's just creepy...him coming out to you."

I said, "Babe, he told me to tell you for us to put our heads together to think of a way we can get a business started which gives us clout in our community. Whatever we decide, he and the governor will put the funds up for us to make it a reality."

Francisco looked at me and said, "Boom, that's huge! You mean anything?"

I said, "Babe, he wants us to be a pillar of the community so when the governor runs for any future public office, he'll be able to have our support. The way it goes in our state, whomever was the governor, usually runs for state senator. So, I'd say they're thinking of that possibility."

Francisco said, "Boom, there are a lot of different things which I can immediately think of which come to mind. Real estate is one. Another is media...either television, radio, or advertising of some sort. Newspapers are about dead, so I'd not go there. Another route we could go is into banking. With commuted sentences, we'll be able to have ownership in one."

I said, "Babe, you're familiar with all this, so I'm going to let you decide. It's entirely up to you. But, if you want to go back to college to be a surgeon, then just say the word and I'll support you on it if you wish."

He looked at me and said, "Boom, here's what I want. I want a business which both of us can work in it together and we can be together day and night. I enjoy your company and I want to be around you a lot. For me to be in college and then to be a surgeon, both of those will take me away from you and not have us together as much as I'd like."

I said, "Babe, it doesn't have to be decided now, all I want you to know is the offer's been made."

He smiled and said, "Boom, the way I am, if I have a decision to make, I like to get it decided and then get onto getting it accomplished. I've not been one to take options and then weigh each out. I think too much time's wasted by doing that. For me, making the decision and finding everything out about it is where I find results."

He looked at me and said, "Boom, you may not realize it, but in our state, the billboards along the highway are pretty much a mom and pop business. There's not much organization and there's not much to offer along our highways. If we could get into that business, we'd have a means to advertise for them and get more of a message across than we could ever do going door to door and knocking."

I said, "Babe, that's a good idea, but how much do billboards cost?"

He said, "I don't know, but I figure if we rent them out for $300 a month, then in ten years, we've gotten $36 grand from one. If one costs $10 grand to put up, then we've made $20 grand profit in 10 years...or, we can roll the profit back into more billboards."

I said, "You've missed $6 grand in that equation."

He said, "Boom, the taxes will be that much, so I just discounted it from the get-go."

I said, "O.k., What are the guidelines in the state for billboards?"

He said, "I don't know but just as soon as I can get to the phone, I bet your mom will find out!"

I said, "She'll know more about them than you and I will in just one afternoon, and I bet if she talks to a secretary down there, she'll have the inside scoop on what the future is going to hold for the business."

Francisco looked at me and said, "Boom, I'm excited and scared."

I said, "Babe, me too. It's been so long since I've been out, I don't know what to expect. I could be going out of here to an ambush with Rob, or I could be going out of here to finding out the economy sucks and no one wants to advertise. The one consistant thing in the whole thing is you and my mom. I guess that's enough, but it really scares me."

He said, "Boom, another thing I want to get into is real estate. There are a lot of ways to make money which people don't think about. One tidbit of information I happen to know about is buying land from cities and then reselling it. When a city purchases land from individuals for right of way, they use the land for the road, but there are all sorts of little triangles of land which aren't really deemed usable by the city. The city has to maintain all these parcels and they just don't realize how much one will cost it in manpower and maintainance. When someone offers to buy the land, the city is willing to sell real cheap.

Now, here's where the money is made. Say you own a piece of land in which the triangle is between yours and the street. The city now owns the land, but suddenly, I own it and offer it to you for say, $500. Do you take it?"

I said, "Well, if I owned the land, I'd want the extra land so my yard could be bigger. Yeah, I'd buy it for that, now how much did you purchase it for?"

Francisco smiled and said, "I bought that land for $1.!"

I looked at him and said, "You mean you just made $499 profit and you didn't have to do a thing but offer it to me?"

He said, "See, it's so simple it's scary!"

I said, "Babe, I bet we can find a lot of those pieces of land. The state builds highways, and the government builds 'em too, and the city is always forever doing some roadwork, so it'd be cool. Just watch the land and then go snatch them up for a fraction of what they're worth. I definitely think that idea is a go!"

Francisco smiled and said, "Babe, what's your mom like? I really want to get to know her because I want her to see I didn't just make you gay, but I actually do love you."

I said, "Honey, don't worry about my mom. My mom is the one who is going to be for you no matter what. The one's we'll have to work on is my brothers. To be honest, I don't really know my brothers. One never wrote to me the whole time I've been in here. The other, well, he and I speak, but he only visited once and then didn't want to come back because he found it really hard to leave me in here. It's my hope he comes with them to get us because I want him to see me and actually take me home this time...well, us home because you're coming too."

We sat together and just as soon as I sat, I felt the pull of the bandage on my ass. I flinched and Francisco said, "Let me check it."

I said, "They're supposed to be getting me to medical to get it checked. I think you did a good job. I just think the bandage is what pulled. That packing tape doesn't flex as much as my skin."

He looked at it and said, "Boom, it looks good. Let the air get to it and leave the bandage off. You can go nude in here and I certainly won't mind."

I said, "Well, if I go nude, then you do too. Besides, I'd want to be perving on your body as you're going to be doing to mine."

He said, "Babe, you really do have a hot body. Your stomache muscles with the way they ripple are so hot."

I said, "Francisco, your body is way better than mine. You've got curves where I've got slabs. You've got softness where mine's just ripped. You may not like it, but your feminity drives me wild. I look at your ass and it's on!"

He laughed and said, "Boom, let's lay in the bunk with you spooned behind me and you put it up my ass. I don't want to make love, I just want us to go to sleep and me to know you're there."

We lay down and it didn't take me long to get boned feeling him up against me. He leaned around and kissed me telling me he loved me.

I told him I loved him, but I was really concentrating on getting him lubed so I could enter him without much pain. He looked at me and said, "Boom, just put it at the entrance to my ass and I'll relax. You then push real gently and when it goes in, you just rock back and forth until we work it all in. Then, we'll just lay that way.

We covered with my blanket and I began by putting the head of my cock at his hole. He relaxed and the head popped in. I started to rock, but he was doing most of the work...and sooner than I expected, I felt myself fully within him. When we stopped, it didn't take us but a few moments and I think we were both asleep.

Later that day, we woke when we heard the water hose in the cell next to ours. I pulled myself out of bed and started heating coffee water. I heated two cups and then got the coffee ready for Francisco and I to share a cup. He smelling the coffee when it hit the water awoke and said, "Babe, what time is it?"

I told him it was about 1:30 p.m. and he said, I wonder what we'll have to do later.

I said, "Not much since we'll be locked down. We do have the television, so we can watch that. I'm sure the Golden Girls are on." I smiled at him and then said, "There's probably childrens programming on PBS if you want to learn your alphabet."

He smiled and said, "Oooh, you're gonna get it so good."

I said, "Later, horndog, we've got to get ready to wash the cell down."

We sat and sipped our coffees quietly. The door suddenly popped and I went to get the hose. When I stepped out, the guard said he needed to see Francisco. Francisco went down and I made the short work of getting what I wanted out onto the walk and then began the spray out. I made careful work of not getting everything of value wet. When it was sprayed, I handed the hose to Moose and he began their spray out. I then began to sweep when Francisco came and said, "I'm to have grays on and be ready to go to my mom's memorial service. It's kind of late in the day for that, isn't it?"

I said, "Well, maybe they're having it tonight. She had a lot of friends who worked didn't she? Maybe they scheduled it so they could come to remember her."

He shrugged and then my name was called to the sallyport. I went and was told to head on over to medical to be checked. I was handed a pass and told the guard I had to go get my i.d..

I went up and told Francisco I was headed to medical and then gave him a kiss. He said, "If I don't see you before I leave, I want you to know I love you."

I told him I loved him too and then went to walk to medical. When I got there, I was ushered directly into the surgery room and a doctor was there to see me.

He said, "My name is Dr. Porter and I'll be checking out your problem. Where's it located?"

I pulled down my pants and showed him the wound. He asked me to lay up on the table face down and then said, "Who did the work on this?"

I said, "My celly did. He wanted to be a doctor and apparently knows his stuff."

He said, "Well, he certainly does that. What did he use to sew this up?"

I said, "He used a sewing needle from a sewing kit. He coated the inside with lidocaine, betadine, and washed everything down with peroxide."

The doctor said, "These stitches are the sort I usually see with plastic surgery, but they'll suffice."

I said, "He wanted to be a plastic surgeon and said he wanted to use those so the scar would be less and not as open to receive germs...since it was my ass."

He said, "Well, that's a good assumption. Did this result from the riot we had here yesterday?"

I said, "Yes, the guy I've never seen before and hopefully won't see again."

He said, "I'm not going to do a report, but I would like to know your celly's name so I can request he be an inmate assistant to me here."

I smiled and said, "Doc, that'd make a dream of his come true. Would you promise to teach him some of what you know so he'll get to be more interested?"

The doctor smiled and said, "I will Richard. I've been made aware of your situation and wanted to see the work myself before I made the decision. That repair he did there is one of the best jobs I've seen."

I said, "Doc, you might think it's the best work you've seen if you knew he sewed this in the dark."

He looked at me shocked and said, "He did this in the dark?"

I said, "Yeah, he would occassionally have me shine a lighter back there to check his work, but I didn't hold it there a long time."

He smiled and said, "That's battlefield conditions perfectly and he did an amazing job. He must've thought about going into the military to become a medic."

I said, "Doc, his family couldn't afford college. His grandma and mom were both sick, so he stayed to help take care of them. When his grandma died, his mom was so sick he had to put her in a nursing home. It's because of her treatment there he's in here. You might have heard about the nursing home as I hear they had a man scalded to death there."

He nodded and said, "Over at Jefferson City, correct?"

I said, "Yes, his mom's legs were scalded there too and she lost them. He took her out of the nursing home and moved her to another and they gave him kidnap charges."

The doctor asked, "He didn't have an attorney?"

I said, "You know and I know if he had, he'd not be in here. The media would have took ahold of that and had him being a hero. Instead, he's been kicked around by the system."

The doctor said, "Tell him I want to see him. I'll give you a pass to get him over here."

I said, "Doc, he's going to his mom's memorial service today. She died yesterday."

He said, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

I said, "Me too. I would've loved to had met her."

He said, "Richard, the love you feel for him radiates from you like a warm fire. You can't hide it and I know the depth. I'm sure he's a great person. Tell him I'll get a message to get him over here tomorrow."

The doctor smiled and said, "I'm prescribing you these items. Betadine, Suture material, gauze, pads, bandaging material, peroxide, and lidocaine. Keep this prescription with these items and you won't be violated for contraband." He winked and said, "That's damned fine work. I'd rather see someone in your condition than to see an amateurish effort that's infected all to hell. If he needs other materials, tell him to ask me tomorrow for them, and I'll get them prescribed to you."

I smiled and said, "Doc, that's wonderful. I appreciate your help."

He smiled and said, "You thank your friend up in the main office. He really thinks a lot of you two."

I said, "I will that."

I got my pass to go back to the housing unit and was held up as the governor's chopper was landing. I looked out the window and saw Francisco heading out to the chopper. He got in and it lifted off. Tears came into my eyes because a brief thought of him going home without me flashed into my mind and the thought was just hard to take.

When the all clear was given, I went back to the housing unit and went quietly to our cell. Once again, it was empty and I immediately lay down on his bunk and smelled his pillow. Call me obsessive, but I loved him.

I turned on the television and found no gratification in it. Nothing seemed fit to watch and I knew I was in a funk. Moose yelled over through the vent, "You o.k. bud?"

I said, "Moose, no, I'm not."

He said, "Boom, he'll be back. What he's going to go through while he's gone is going to be damned tough. You get lots of friends in this life, but only one mama. He loved her enough to get put in here over her, so why don't you concentrate on something which will make him feel better once he gets here. You laying over there and not doing a thing sure doesn't sound like it's going to be good for either of you."

I decided it was a good idea and said, "Thanks Moose."

He said, "Don't thank me, just be there for me if I'm ever in the same situation because I know I'll be lost just like you."

I said, "Moose, you know I'll be there. I'm going to start making some things which I know he'll like."

When we were done talking, I began to cooking up one of the chili meals we had already cooked and mixed in a can of refried beans and a can of nacho soup. The combination of the ramen soups and the chili made a pasty concoction which when we put it in a tortilla shell with french onion sour cream dip spread over the shell was really good. Taco Bell didn't have a thing on us.

While that was cooking, I wrote him a love letter telling him how much he'd added to my life, and then drew a picture with a bunch of roses. I'm not a Picasso, but I can draw real decent...at least they looked like roses. I put them in a "Thinking of You" card, and lay them on his pillow.

I didn't know how long he'd be gone, but I imagined it'd be around 10 p.m. when he got home. I wanted to make sure things were calm and nice, but not romantic. Tonight wasn't a romantic evening, it was going to be a reassuring evening so he'd know he had love in his world even though he'd lost a huge chunk of it.

Tears came to my eyes because I couldn't even fathom the pain he must be feeling. It's a part of us in here to shut out the outside world, but when something like this happens, it hits full force. Fortunately, I hadn't felt that pain, but I imagined if it would happen, I'd be a basket case and would need someone like him to pull me through.

As I worked, I put on a song which sort of pulled the thoughts going through my mind. Music soothed me in here, and the words described everything I felt for him. As they played out, I realized he probably felt the same about his mom.

We don't get enough opportunities in this life to tell someone we love them before they're gone. When it happens, the world becomes full of shoulda, coulda, wouldas and the 'if' game begins.

It's not a good position to be in because it keeps us in the here and now in fantasy rather than the future which can be changed. I'd played the game so many times in my own mind about what I did, I knew it was hopeless. It didn't change a thing, and the result was I was still in here and Rob was out there in a wheelchair confined to it by my actions. Some day in some way, it was my hope to attempt to give Rob back everything I took...if it was possible...and if he would allow it. I wouldn't blame him if he wouldn't.

Thinking about that fact, I spoke to Moose through the vent. I said, "Moose, I don't want a thing to happen to that kid over there that stabbed me."

He said, "What! Dog, he's got it coming!"

I said, "Moose, I was thinking. The reason I'm in here, I would have worse coming. Two wrongs don't make rights, so I'm going to go to him and offer a hand and hope he takes it. If he doesn't, then I'll wish him well and then you guys can do what you want. It's time for me to grow up and start looking for scenarios where everyone gains something from the situations instead of there being one winner and the loser gets ground under."

Moose said, "O.k., I'll follow your lead, but I want you to know that dumbfuck better take the offer you give because he won't be so healthy when we're done."

I said, "Moose, let's hope he takes the offer."

It may not mean much or sound like much, but after that conversation, I felt better. It made me feel like I'd grown and was ready to face the outside. I knew there'd be adversity out there, and I knew I'd be able to face it with my fists. I now had to think about being able to face it with my brain.

Thinking about this, I realized Francisco had made so many changes in my life by just loving me. I realized him just offering himself as he is, I'd done most of the changes myself, but it took him being there in order to facilitate it. If he hadn't been there for me, he'd probably be looking for a new celly today and I'd either be in the hole gloating, or in a freezer not feeling, thinking, or breathing. This alternative definitely sounded better.

Thinking about going home, I thought about how we'd live and where we'd live. I thought about all the options we had of completely starting afresh and new and how lucky we were we didn't have a lot of baggage. The biggest problem I had was knowing I was going back to a town where memories were long and tongues were loose. I imaged that people would talk and when the story got retold over and over, I'd probably killed a thousand people and kids would be held behind their mothers legs when I walked into a place.

Those thoughts weren't good, but me thinking I was coming home to a ticker tape parade was worse. Hell yeah, I'd been off to war, but one man's war isn't the same as another man's. If I'd taken the option of the other, I'd be probably getting retired and would have twenty kids and a wife along that path. As soon as I thought that, I sure got my mind back onto Francisco. With him, I had happiness and a hope for a secure future. Those things were what I needed.

The thoughts of what we would have to do in the upcoming month didn't make me proud one fucking bit. To me, it was selling out who I was for the past twenty two years. Interestingly, when I thought about it, the past twenty two years had flown by. Even moreso interestingly, the thought of whether I cared if anyone gave a fuck as to what we were doing didn't enter the picture. The end justified the means and the end was the end of the tunnel. When we'd leave that tunnel, we'd do it with our friends and arrive to families, friends, and hope....

With Love.

Author's Notes:

A lot of you have written and become friends through our letters. I would like to thank you for those opportunities extended.

Kevin, you've been there and you've given so much encoragement, I'd like to tell you how much you are loved. These past 14 1/2 years have been so very great, I only ask for another 100. And, Yes, I know darling, you're that easy to love too.

To everyone else. When you find someone who is good for you, it comes after kissing a lot of toads. (Yep, he's prince charming and I'm one helluva princess...not!) The one you love will put up with corny jokes, and he'll put up with chicken which actually caught fire in the broiler. He'll be there when times are tough, and he'll cry like a baby when you're there for him. I've found that love, and it's in my heart you each find it too.

From my keyboard to your heart,

Retta

"With Love"