This is one of the first stories I ever wrote it was supposed to be a short romantic story. When I was almost done I somehow lost inspiration, so I left if alone for a long time And when I started on it again, boy did this story change, it started to hunt me. I couldn't stop writing I hope you all like it be sure to let me know. master_daniel_65@hotmail.com
Do not read if you are under age or if two guy's making love is not what you where looking for. If you surfed in here by accident (right, like we believe that) please go away If you are not 18 or in some countries 21 make sure you don't get caught, I can assure you it will be embarrassing to say the least. Flames will be happily added to the fire After I had a laugh about them. One last remark: be safe, look out for one another.
Copyright 1998 by Daniel. All rights reserved.
With Open Arms
Joe hated school the other boys never stopped picking on him. First they called him shorty because he was kind of small and now that he finally had grown to be quite tall, they called him four eyes because he had to wear glasses for reading. He especially hated gym because, of his new length and his long arms and legs, he was a bit uncoordinated, and that's putting it mildly.
Joe knew he was gay he had known for a while now but he didn't feel he wanted to come out any time soon. Being 18 and gay and not real sure about himself he stayed indoors a lot and had become a bit of a Bookworm lately. Some day's after school his best friend Patrick came by to play some computer games. Patrick was a year older than Joe was, and he dropped out of school to work in his dad's computer store About a year ago. Joe missed him in school because Patrick used to make sure nobody touched him. Ever since Patrick left Joe had even more problems then before.
One Friday evening Patrick came by and noticed Joe looked like he had been crying, he inquired if everything was ok and Joe nodded his head, afraid he might start crying again if he spoke. Patrick didn't believe him and looked a bit closer asking "Are you sure you are ok?"
Joe couldn't help himself and his eyes filled with tears as he told Patrick about the abuse he took from some of his classmates. Patrick sat down next to Joe and asked if he should come to school on Monday and teach them a lesson, Joe smiled at the thought but he didn't think that was the answer to his problems he had to do something about it himself or it would never stop.
Than he noticed Patrick was stroking his hair and he sat completely still not wanting Patrick to stop caressing his hair. He felt Patrick's fingers sliding down his neck to stroke his back and a shiver went through his body. That must have startled Patrick because he immediately stopped moving his hand and pulled it away. Joe sighed and turned to look at him, he saw his friends face was bright red and his eyes where turned to the floor.
"Hey are you ok?" Joe asked.
"Sure I'm ok, why shouldn't I be ok?" Patrick said in a defensive tone.
"Ok ok just asking, don't bit my head off! So are we going to play a game or what?"
Patrick shook his head and said he didn't feel much like playing right now that he just wanted to talk a little and maybe watch some videos. Joe asked Patrick if he had to work on Saturday when he said he didn't, Joe asked him to stay the night since his parents where out to visit his aunt and they wouldn't be home before Monday evening.
Patrick narrowed his eyes for just a moment and than said, "Sure I'll call home and tell them I'm staying over this weekend."
Joe nodded his head and went to get the phone.
That night they sat and talked about everything that came to mind from favorite TV shows, to girls. Both of them never really dated a girl. Patrick took the daughter of his mum's friend to see a movie once but he told Joe he didn't try to kiss her or anything. His mom's friend told his mom later the daughter thought Patrick was a real gentleman. But Patrick didn't kiss her because he didn't want to, the girl was pretty enough though. Joe was curious why Patrick hadn't tried to kiss her. Could it be? Nah no way Patrick could be gay he thought to himself. Or could he?
They watched 'never mind the buzzcocks' and went to bed, Joe asked if Patrick wanted to sleep on a mattress on the floor or if they would just share Joe's big double bed. Patrick said the double bed was fine with him, Joe didn't have to go through the trouble of getting the mattress down from the attic. After using the bathroom they crawled into Joe's bed and talked for a long time after they turned of the lights. The darkness making them a little more open than usual. Joe told about how it made him feel to be harassed by his classmates. Patrick confessed he was sorry he left school but he didn't want to tell his father. His father warned him about this time and time again and he didn't want to admit he was wrong.
Joe thought that was a bit silly because now Patrick couldn't come back to school because of his own misplaced pride.
Patrick thought about it for a while and said, "Well you know my dad he will hold this over my head forever he wont stop teasing me about it but he has told me he want's me to finish my education over and over again."
Joe asked, "Can't you just try to take the teasing, you know your dad doesn't mean a word of it, he will be so thrilled you are going to go back to school he might even forget to tease you."
They turned their face to look at each other in the dark and both said, "Nah!" at the same time -- they both knew Patrick's dad better than that. They started to laugh and Joe said Patrick should think it through but for now he wanted to catch some sleep.
Somewhere in the middle of the night Joe felt Patrick snuggle up to his back and they laid there like spoons for the rest of the night. Patrick's arm resting on Joe's bare chest and one of his legs over Joe's. Joe's heart raced a mile a minute but he stayed as still as he could enjoying the feeling of Patrick's hairless chest against his back. The next morning when Joe woke up Patrick was no longer in bed with him but sitting at his desk busy with Joe's computer. Joe froze when he saw Patrick was on the Internet, surfing around. He jumped out of his bed to see what pages where opened and sighed with relieve when he saw it was a site about Freddie Mercury. He knew Patrick was a big Queen fan as was Joe. But than Patrick took a look at his bookmarks witch included the nifty archives, assgm, a gay magazine and a lot more gay sites. Joe couldn't move a muscle as he saw Patrick open assgm. Patrick entered the site and let out a low whistle. "Patrick, please close that site I don't want you to see that!"
Patrick turned around, "Why not? Are you afraid I'll be shocked? You should see some of the site I have on mine, I have my own credit card remember."
"You mean you have gay sites in your bookmarks? Why?"
"Because I like to look at guy's I guess." Patrick looked up at Joe. "And I guess you do to."
"Yes I do but I would like to do more then look," Joe told him, getting bold all of a sudden.
Patrick opened his mouth to say something but he didn't say a word. He got up from the chair and pulled Joe in his arm's he cupped his chin with one hand to make him look up. "Can I kiss you?"
Joe couldn't speak he just nodded his head and Patrick slowly closed the distance between their faces closing his eyes. Joe moaned when Patrick's lips touched his ever so gently. Patrick opened his mouth a little just enough to let his tongue touch Joe's lips. Joe eagerly opened his mouth to let Patrick's tongue enter. He tasted Patrick for the first time it felt like he was truly alive for the first time, it was nothing like he imagined it would be. He didn't hear bells ring and there where no bolt of lighting shooting through the sky. There was just Joe and Patrick and nothing else. He wrapped his arms around Patrick's waist and pulled him closer.
Patrick broke the kiss and smiled down at Joe he took his hand and led him to the bed he lay down and pulled Joe on top of him. Joe supported his head on his hands he smiled as he looked Patrick in his eyes, "I have wanted to kiss another man for so long and I never dreamt you would be the first one I'd ever kiss."
"I know what you mean," Patrick said, "I would have never guessed you were gay. Where you awake last night when I snuggled up to you?"
"Yes, I was and I loved it. I think I'm going to make you sleep with me like that tonight too."
"Well I have news for you then, you don't have to make me do anything I can't think of anything that would make me happier than sleeping with you like that."
Joe kissed Patrick on the tip of his nose and smiled "Okay, that's a deal."
Patrick stroked Joe's back and let his hand slide under the waistband of his briefs to touch his firm ass.
Joe moaned softly and said, "I can take them off, if you want to."
And before Patrick could answer he had his briefs around his ankles and let them slide on the floor.
Patrick whispered, "Take mine of to please I want to feel your naked body against mine."
Joe sat up and climbed of Patrick and sat down next to him he pulled down his boxers and for the first time saw Patrick's hard cock. He looked at Patrick not sure of what to do at first but than he lied back down on his friend's warm body. Their hard cock's rubbing against each other.
They both moaned by now and kissed passionately humping their groins against each others. Patrick held Joe's ass and squeezed the hard cheeks. He opened his legs and Joe lay between them intensifying the contact between their cocks.
Suddenly Patrick broke of the kiss stopped moving, "Stop please or I'm gonna cum right now."
It took Joe a second to react but then he stopped to he smiled at Patrick, "That felt real nice."
Patrick looked up at Joe and asked, "Will you please fuck me Joe? I have always wondered what that feels like."
Joe thought about it and finally said, " yes I want to but I don't want to get fucked though not just now anyway I'm scared it will hurt."
"That's okay I won't make you do anything you are not up to or do not want to do."
"What can we use to lube you?" Joe asked. "Olive oil or something like that? You think that will do?"
"I think so," Patrick said.
"Ok my mom has some in her bathroom she uses it to rub in her elbows or something."
While Joe got the oil Patrick disconnected the computer from the net they forgot that in the heat of making out.
Joe came back and said to Patrick "Ok sit on your knees and elbows and I'll loosen you up a bit. He had brought a wet and warm wash cloth because a thought had entered his mind and he wanted to give it a try.
Patrick was in position and rested his head on his underarms Joe gently washed the exposed pink hole and told Patrick to be quiet when he wanted to know why Joe did that. Joe threw the cloth on the floor and licked Patrick's hole witch almost made Patrick jump up, but Joe managed to hold him down and tell him to sit still and enjoy. And enjoy he did he never felt anything like it and when Joe tried to push his tongue in Patrick let out a long low moan and pushed his sweet ass back at that probing tongue. Joe pushed his tongue in as the muscles of Patrick's ass relaxed and fucked his friend's ass with his wet and hot tongue. He pulled his tongue out after a few minutes and poured some oil in his hands then he rubbed the oil into Patrick's sensitive asshole and slowly let one finger enter. Patrick groaned but pushed back so Joe slid in a second finger and started to gently slide them in and out. After a minute or two of a slow but steady rhythm he tried to push in a third finger and Patrick's hole opened up with surprising ease.
"I think you're ready." Joe whispered, "but I want to see your face when I make love to you, so turn around and lie on your back."
When Patrick was where Joe wanted him, he told him to lift his butt and pushed a pillow under it. "Tell me if I hurt you ok?" Joe placed his oily cock head against Patrick's hot hole and slowly pushed himself inside.
Patrick held his breath when the head past his sphincter and he bit his lip softly moaning "Oh that feels so good."
"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?" Joe grunted through his teeth, he was trying to control himself -- this felt better then ever he imagined.
"I'm sure, just go slowly don't rush it, you feel so good inside me."
"Okay, I'll go slow."
Patrick felt every inch slide in slowly, there was a burning sensation but not much pain. But then Joe's cock slid past a spot that made Patrick scream out.
Joe stopped moving, "Oh shit sorry did I hurt you?"
"Oh no that felt so incredibly good don't stop please! Don't stop!"
Joe slowly pulled almost all the way out and then pushed back in with a little more force, he repeated that moves when Patrick moaned out loud but just a little harder this time. Soon they found a perfect rhythm pulling back slowly and thrusting back in harder and harder. They both were moaning out loud now. Suddenly Patrick called out Joe's name and pulled him close to kiss him, forcing his mouth open and thrusting his tongue in. Patrick's rock hard cock was caught between their smooth stomachs. The feeling of being fucked and his cock getting massaged drove him over the edge. He let out an earsplitting scream and shot his love juices between them. Patrick's ass muscles squeezing his cock and Patrick's cock pulsing between their body's was enough to make Joe cum. He never could have imagined anything feeling this good he cried out, "Oh my god!!! I'm cumming, I'm cumming ooohhh that feels sooo good!"
Joe collapsed onto Patrick gasping to catch his breath. When he could breath again he tried to roll of Patrick but he wouldn't let him go. "Don't go please, it feels so nice to have you there."
Joe kissed Patrick's cheek "ok" he said and he lay his head down on Patrick's chest. They stayed that way for a long time content to just be together.
"Joe?"
"Hmmm?"
"I have to use the bathroom."
"Hmmm."
"Joe?"
"Hmmm?"
"I really have to use the bathroom."
"Hmmm."
"Joe?"
"MOVE IT!"
"Okay, okay, I'm going, I'm going."
Joe enjoyed watching Joe walk to the bathroom real nice buns he thought.
"Joe? Joey wake up I made us breakfast. Okay lazybones get your sweet ass out of bed."
Joe slowly opened one eye and smiled at Patrick. Patrick felt his knees go weak and he knew this was the exact moment he fell in love. They ate their breakfast sitting on Joe's bed together.
"Patrick? Thanks for breakfast and I really liked it when you called me Joey." Joe blushed and looked away from Patrick. Patrick moved closer to Joe and said, "I liked saying it."
After finishing their breakfast they went showering together washing each other and kissing, a lot! They spend Saturday talking, playing computer games, cuddling and kissing. Patrick decided to go back to school and he said he would go and tell his dad that Sunday. That night they slept in each others arms like they said they would.
Sunday they went to see Patrick's dad to tell him the good news Patrick's dad was very happy about it but he couldn't help himself he had to say it. "I told you, you would come to regret leaving school you should have just stayed in school."
Patrick smiled at his father. "Yes, dad, I know you where right as usual."
"I'm going to see the headmaster first thing Monday morning I want to go back as soon as possible," Patrick said.
"I'm coming with you, you know they have tests for you to take to see how much you missed perhaps you will have to repeat a year but you have learned a lot working for me too."
"I hope you will be in my class again we can graduate together that way." Joe liked the of idea sitting next to Patrick for the rest of the year.
Patrick brought Joe home after they had dinner with Patrick's dad. Walking up to Joe's room hand in hand felt so sweet and familiar. In the room they slowly undressed each other taking their time to get to know the others body kissing, licking and stroking. Patrick made love to Joe like Joe did to him the day before slowly and gentle enjoying every second of it. When Patrick entered Joe's body it was like they melted into one person, almost spiritual, they moved slowly trying to give each other as much pleasure as possible. They climaxed together and fell asleep holding each other like they where never letting go again.
Monday afternoon Joe's parents came home pleasantly surprised to find no dishes in the sink Joe's mum looked at his dad and said "I think Patrick stayed over don't you?"
"Oh I'm pretty sure he did, Joe would never do the dishes of his own free will," Joe's dad said laughing.
"Do you think Patrick knows about Joe being gay?" his mum asked.
"I don't know, honey, he hasn't told us officially, he just dropped a few hints. You know he doesn't react to my questions."
"I wish he could trust us enough to tell us, he knows we how we both feel about it we have so many gay friends and family members I don't know why it should be so hard to tell us."
"He will tell us sooner or later just be patient, Sara."
That night Patrick came by with a smile on his face from ear to ear. "Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Green," he said. And looking at Joe he said "Hi Joe, I have something to tell you I'm going to do those tests my dad talked about and when I pass I'll be in your class again."
"YES!" Joe yelled and he jumped up to hug Patrick. "When do you have to take them?"
"Two weeks from today, will you help me study?"
"Sure, buddy, anything to get you in my class again." Then he noticed his mum and dad looking at them quizzically. "What?!" he said, shaking his head. They ran up to Joe's room and where kissing before the door was completely shut.
"I missed you so much," Patrick whispered with his mouth touching Joe's.
"I have to tell you something. I don't want to scare you, Joey, but I have to say it out loud, I love you."
"How could that scare me? I love you too silly," Joe replied. They stood there for a long time holding each other happy knowing they where in love.
In the mean time Joe's mum and dad looked at each other "I think Patrick knows" was his dad's comment.
"No question about it and I don't think he minds one bit" his mum said smiling.
"I'm going to make a pot of coffee I want to have a serious talk with those boys." With that she went to the kitchen.
A half-hour later she knocked on the door to Joe's room and opened the door when he called to come in. The boys had been sitting on the bed talking about what they wanted to do after graduation. "I made us some coffee boys, come down please we want to talk to you." Joe and Patrick both raised their eyebrows wondering what they wanted to talk about.
The boys walked into the living room and sat down together on the couch. Patrick gave Joe his coffee and sipped from his own. They chatted about all sorts of things for a while, how Patrick's dad was doing, why he decided to go back to school, the weather.
Finally they finished their coffee and Joe's mum started by saying, "Listen, boys, we don't want to embarrass you, but we really feel we have to talk to you about this." She stopped to see if the boys where going to say something, when they didn't she continued, "Listen, I think you know what I'm talking about, we know Joe is gay."
Joe jumped up yelling "MUM!"
Patrick took his hand, "Sit down, Joey, calm down will you, I am right here with you."
"Well, I see you know too," Joe's dad said. "Look boys we are not angry or anything, just concerned. We want you to know you can always come to us with any problems you have."
"That's right," Joe's mum said. "We don't want you running around looking for a place where you can be together, think of our home as a safe place. We won't disturb you when you want to make out."
"MUM please!" Joe yelled again but his mum just laughed and said, "Okay, I won't embarrass you anymore, I'm sorry honey."
Joe's dad cleared his throat and said, "Just remember what we said you are safe here we don't want you get yourselves into any dangerous situations."
"How did you find out about me?" Joe asked.
His dad smiled, "All the hints you dropped and the look in your eyes when you talked about Patrick."
Joe got up and hugged his mum and dad. "I love you both and thank you for understanding."
They sat and talked for a long time the boys told about their plans to go to college and live together.
"How do you want to pay for that." Joe's dad asked.
"I saved a bit of money and I have almost al the furniture we need, we can both look for a part-time job we have to be careful but we can manage," Patrick said a bit defensive.
"Okay, I see you thought about it. I have to say it makes sense to me, but we don't want you to live in any part of town that is dangerous. We don't want to worry about you al the time." Joe's dad thought about it for a minute then he said, "You have to finish school first anyway so we can talk about this later, but I want you to know we are here to help you with anything you need. By the way Patrick does your father know about this?"
"No he doesn't I'm not sure how he will react to this he has a gay brother but they haven't talked to each other for years, I don't know if that's because he is gay I can't imagine though, I've never heard my dad say anything negative about gays." Patrick stared in space for a while and then continued, "but if he has a problem with it it's his problem." He pulled Joe close and kissed his temple, "I'm not giving Joey up for anyone."
Joe kissed Patrick on his cheek and said, "Do you want to tell him now? I'll come with you we can tell him together."
After having thought about it for a while Patrick came to a decision "Okay, lets get this over with right now are you sure you want to come with me?"
"Of course I'm sure, I love you remember"
Taking a deep breath Patrick opened the front door to his home he turned around to where Joe stood "I'm scared, Joey, what if he doesn't want anything to do with me when he knows."
Joe squeezed his hand, "We'll see about that, but I don't think it will come to that. He loves you and you are all he has; he already lost your mum he won't risk loosing you too."
Patrick gave him a weak smile, "I love you, Joey" Taking an other deep breath to make the awful feeling in his stomach disappear he opened the door to the living room. His dad sat in his favorite chair watching the late news, "hi boys I thought I heard you talking, what are you doing here so late is everything ok?"
"Dad I have to talk to you--" Patrick's voice trailed of and than he just blurted it out, "I'm gay and I'm in love with Joe and I'm not giving him up for you."
"Oh and why would I want you to give Joe up? I happen to like him he'll make a fine son in law." Patrick's dad smiled at his own joke.
Patrick couldn't hold his tears back and started crying while he fell in his dad arms. His dad hugged him real tight and kissed him on the head his eyes filled with tears, "you know I love you why was it so hard for you to tell me?"
"Because of your brother," Patrick said.
"My brother? What does Jack have to do with this?" Patrick's dad looked very puzzled.
"Uncle Jack is gay and you haven't talked to each other for years I thought that might be because he's gay," Patrick explained. "That doesn't have anything to do with him being gay. We had a stupid argument and we are both way too pigheaded to give in, I don't care that he is gay it doesn't matter to me one way or the other."
They sat and talked for a while and then Joe got up saying he had to go home. "Wait I'll walk you home. I don't want you to walk alone."
"No you stay here and talk to your dad I'll be fine see you in the morning you can walk me to school."
About three hours later, Patrick and his dad where already asleep, Joe's dad called to ask if he was staying over or coming home somewhere in the near future. Patrick's dad told them Joe had gone home hours ago.
"Patrick, wake up, son,, Patrick wake up."
"What? Is it morning already?" Patrick replied sleepily rubbing his eyes to get a more clear vision.
"No, it's the middle of the night but Joe is missing?"
"WHAT?! What do you mean Joe is missing? He went home." Patrick was wide-awake by now. "I should have walked him home he can't be missing I love him."
"I know you do, son. Please don't blame yourself. We will find him. His dad is looking for him and his mum is calling the police."
"THE POLICE?! Oh my god." Patrick was dressing while running out the door yelling at his dad "I'll find him."
"Patrick wait a minute! Patrick! Damn. PATRICK! Wait I'm calling Joe's mum first maybe she has news."
Patrick stopped and came running back in the house ,"Go on call her, hurry!" But the phone was busy and Patrick ran out the door again, to go to Joe's house. His thought where spinning round in his head, 'he has to be ok he has to I love him I just found him he has to be ok.'
A few minutes later he reached Joe's home the front door was open and he ran in Joe's mum sat on the couch talking to someone on the phone.
"Are you sure he is ok?" she asked. "We are on our way now we'll be there in 10 minutes. She pulled Patrick close, "He's ok just a bit confused and he broke his leg. You go and find my husband I'll call your dad and start the car." Patrick wanted to walk out the door when his dad and Joe's dad came crashing in.
Patrick hugged his dad "He's ok we are going to see him now."
In the hospital a nurse wanted them to wait until Joe was awake but Patrick couldn't wait he had to make sure his lover was ok. The head nurse walked by and told her to show Patrick where Joe's room was she said Joe kept mumbling Patrick's name.
When Patrick entered the room Joe immediately woke up and opened his arms for Patrick. Their eyes locked they stroked each others face.
"I'm not letting you out of my sight again you see what happens when I let you walk home alone."
Joe gave him a big smile, "I'm ok now you're here I love you I was so scared I was going to die without seeing you again. That motorcycle came out of nowhere, I think I was day dreaming about you. It knocked me of my feet and I hit my head on the sidewalk all I could think of was you. The nurses told me I was out cold for two hours. I woke up 20 minutes ago and they asked for my name to call my parents but my mum had already called the police. They told her to call the hospital."
Patrick closed the distance between them and shut Joe up with a kiss "I'm going to call your mum and dad in so they can see for themselves you are alright."
Joe sat up, "Don't go, Patrick, you have to stay here too."
"Don't worry, baby, I'm not going anywhere. I'll call in your parents but I'm staying here. No one can get me away from you tonight."
"Okay, you can call them in, and Pat I like baby even better than Joey." Patrick smiled at his lover and called Joe's parents and his dad in.
Half an hour later they left and the boys where together again Patrick true to his world stayed the night or what was left of it.
Joe was released the next day and his parents thought it would be better for him if Patrick where to move in with them if his dad didn't mind. Patrick's dad said he was glad to be rid of his annoying son but he hugged him so tight Patrick thought he would never let him go.
The next two weeks Joe and Patrick worked very hard on Patrick's test and their hard work paid of he passed with points to spare. Patrick walked Joe to school every day pushing his wheelchair Joe only missed two days because of his accident. Jimmy, the guy that knocked Joe off the road, came by a few times and brought candy and some movies for the boys. He said over and over again he was very sorry about the accident until Joe told him to just forget about it because he didn't blame him for anything.
Nine months later both boys graduated high school. Joe didn't get anymore harassment from his classmates or perhaps he did but he did care anymore so it didn't affect him.
They found a college they both wanted to attend and a very nice two bedroom apartment to live in. Their parents pitched in by giving them an interest free loan so they didn't have to work unless they wanted something extra. Living on love they didn't need anything anyway so they where glad they didn't have to work. They thought they spent too much time separated as it was.
The first Christmas holiday they spent with Joe's parents and Patrick's dad in Switzerland where they went skiing, went tumbling down the mountains might be more accurate, they all enjoyed themselves very much so it was decided this was to become a tradition in their small family. The fist evening they sat in the cozy living room by the fire and talked until the early hours of morning now that the boys where living in an other town they didn't see there parents as often as they would like. Even though Joe's mum and dad where frequent visitors in the appartement as was Patrick's dad.
At one point in the evening Patrick and his dad both were lost in thoughts because this was the 4th Christmas they spent without Patrick's mum. She had died four years earlier and they both still missed her very much. Joe sensitive to his lovers needs pulled Patrick close to comfort him. Patrick buried his face in Joe's sweater and curled up to Joe feeling warm and protected in his lovers arms. He felt his heart overflow with love for his Joey which was not an unusual feeling he had felt it many times before. Just when Patrick thought he couldn't possible love Joe more then he already did you did something like smile at him, fight with him, make up after a fight, kiss him and he would just love him more and more. It was like his love for Joey grew every second of every day it might have frightened him if he hadn't known Joe felt the same way. They didn't have a big passionate love affair but their love just got better and grew stronger every day and they new it wasn't half of what it would turn out to be. (I just love mamma cass)
The next morning Patrick told everyone he was going into town for an hour to do some last minute Christmas shopping.
He never came back. On the way home he crashed the car into a tree. He died instantly.
The police officer that came to the door later told his wife he never saw such devastation in his life . Joe screamed until the doctor gave him a sedative. They flew Patrick's body back to England where Joe arranged his funeral; he didn't want anybody's help he said he had to do this alone to keep his sanity. Joe picked out Patrick's favorite clothes a pair of 501's and a sweater and his beaten old Adidas sport shoes. When the undertaker told Joe he couldn't put shoes on Patrick Joe threw a fit and Patrick got on his shoes. The day before the funeral Joe finally found the courage to look at the gifts Patrick bought before the accident. He found a little back velvet box inside the box was a ring with the inscription "To my Joey love Patrick forever" Joe just went numb he called his mum to ask her if he could sleep at his old home. The day of the funeral Joe didn't feel anything until he saw the coffin with in it the love of his life slowly being lowered into the grave he screamed and cried "PATRICK PLEASE DON"T LEAVE ME, PATRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Patrick's dad gently lead him away from the grave and his mum and dad took him home. He had not told anyone about the ring yet. The weeks after the funeral Joe just stayed in their apartment crying, screaming sometimes, he never felt this lost in his life he wanted to die too.
Then, one night, five weeks after he buried his love, he tried on the ring. It was a perfect fit. Suddenly he heard a whisper behind him "I wanted to ask you to marry me."
He turned around but saw nothing, somehow he felt Patrick's presence, suddenly he felt a great anger take over and he started yelling at Patrick "Why did you leave me? Why did you have to go? I need you I can't live without you! I love goddamn you, why did you have to die? I can't miss you, you hear me it hurts so much."
Then he heard the whisper again "I wanted to ask you to marry me."
Convinced now that it was indeed Patrick he answered, "I would have said yes, you know that, I love you."
"I know," the whispering voice said, "I know Joey. Just remember I will be with you when you need me; I'll watch over you."
Joe just cried silent tears. "I miss you so much; I want to be with you."
"I know, my Joey, but you can't, not just yet. You have your life to live, I will be waiting for you. I will never be far away,"
The next morning for the first time in weeks, Joe left his home and visited Patrick's dad. He showed him the ring and told him it was Patrick's Christmas gift. Patrick's dad said he was glad Joe found it, they talked about the shop for a while and then hugged each other.
Joe went on to see his parents they were thrilled to see him out of his apartment. Joe told them too about the ring but he didn't mention Patrick's appearance just like he hadn't mentioned it to Patrick's dad. He didn't think they would understand but somehow knowing Patrick was near by made Joe feel safe. His only wish was he could touch Patrick, he missed that more than anything. Not the sex but the touching, holding hands while watching an old movie, waking up in Patrick's arms, that was what he missed most. Knowing Patrick was close by didn't mean Joe stopped grieving it just helped to make it a little more bearable.
Two months after Patrick's death Joe went back to college. He didn't have a lot of friends but the ones he did have had stopped by his house frequently and they were happy to see Joe come back. They stayed with him to make sure everybody left him alone but they shouldn't have bothered nobody knows what to say when it comes to death. They all avoided him like he had the plague. That was okay by. Joe he didn't feel up to answering questions anyway.
Sandra, Gary and Linda really helped a lot: they kept Joe company, cried with him when the loss of Patrick became to much. They never grew tired of his stories about Patrick. They let him grieve at his own pace. They also knew when to leave him alone, he needed that a lot too -- just to be alone with his thoughts and his pain. He didn't dwell on his pain but he cherished it, somehow it made him feel alive. He tried his best to stay positive, to think of the good things about his life with Patrick, not to get bitter. It was real hard sometimes because sometimes he missed Patrick so bad it physically hurt.
Every now and then Joe heard Patrick's whispering voice but he never mentioned it to anyone he just treasured it like a special gift from his lover. Joe's life slowly moved on, college kept him busy, his friends did too, they never accepted no when they wanted him to tag along to concerts or big music events. Every year around Christmas Joe went to the little village in Switzerland were Patrick died, he felt he needed to be there, he felt close to Patrick there.
Then four years after Patrick's death something happened that scared the shit out of Joe. He went to put flowers by the tree that cost his lover his life and, on the way back, he noticed a young man about his own age sitting on the steps leading up to Joe's cottage. The young man rose to his feet when he saw Joe, he extended his hand and introduced himself as Stephen.
"I live up the road from the tree you come to visit every year. I have been wanting to meet you for years, but you always looked so sad I didn't dare to disturb you. I know you lost your friend there, but this morning you didn't seem as sad as usual so I decided to take a chance."
Joe stared at the young man before him. He never believed in love at first sight, but he was quite sure that is what happened to him, and it scared him to death.
"Hi, I am Joe. Come in."
"Can I get you something to drink?" Joe asked after he put their coats away.
"Coffee would be nice I waited a long time for you I am a little cold," Stephen said.
They sat down by the fire Joe loved to build when he was in the cottage. "Why did you want to meet me?" he asked.
Stephen didn't answer right away he blushed a little, "I guess at first mostly because you are so, ehm, true to your friend you have been here every Christmas since he died. And I wondered why a young man like yourself would grieve for such a long time about a friend."
"I grieved and still do grieve for so long because Patrick was much more than my friend, he was my lover and he would have been my husband if he had lived today."
"Yeah, that is what I figured out by now, I am gay too, you know."
"Oh--" Joe didn't know what to say he felt like he was betraying Patrick but he couldn't help it the things that Stephen made him feel wouldn't be denied. "I'm sorry but you have to go now, I need to be alone. I hope you understand," Joe almost whispered.
"Yes, I do understand. Can I come to see you again?"
"I don't know," Joe reacted, he couldn't face Stephen right now he desperately wanted to talk to Patrick.
For the first time since Patrick died Joe attempted to contact him, all the other times Patrick always was the one to contact Joe. "Patrick are you here? Can I please talk to you? Patrick please I need to talk to you I am so confused right now, I have all these feelings for this man I just met and I don't know what to do I still love you so much."
"I am here," a familiar voice whispered in Joe's ear, "I know how you feel. I am the one that send Stephen to you. It is time you get on with your life Joey. I know you still love me, but I can not be with you the way you need me to you have to move on."
"But it is so difficult. What if he dies too? I can't do this again you know I'd loose my mind for sure. It took all of my strength to keep my sanity, you know."
"I know, Joey, I know, but you can't shut out the world -- you know that too. You have to move on you can't grieve over me for ever."
"I wasn't going to grieve forever, only until I died. I want to be with you we can be together again after I die too. You promised you would wait for me."
"And I will keep that promise, you know I will keep it. But you can't go on like you have for the past time you need someone to hold you someone that understands your loss, and Stephen does, he too lost the love of his life."
"Oh great, so what do we do when we are all dead? Form a band?"
"Hehe, it is good to see you haven't lost your sense of humour, Joey, but I am serious, you can't keep on living like this. You are not living, you are surviving. I love you to much to let you do that."
"Patrick there is one thing I need to know: will you still come to me when I do start something with Stephen?"
"No, Joey, I can't intrude on that it wouldn't be right."
"Oh, Pat, I am so confused. I will miss our talks so much, but I do think I fell in love with Stephen the first time I saw him."
"I know, Joey, and that was meant to happen. Stephen's lover want's him to be happy too. Everything will work out for the best, You will see. I have to go now ... I love you, Joey, I'll be waiting for you--"
"Oh god, Patrick, I love you, I love you so much."
Joe fell asleep on the couch and he woke up shivering from the cold the fire had gone out somewhere in the middle of the night. The memory of Patrick still fresh in his head made him go over to the tree to see if he could find Stephen. Stephen found him, they took a long walk and talked for hours about everything except their lost lovers -- that was for another time, they both understood that.
Two weeks later Joe had to get back home to England but they arranged for Stephen to follow him in a few weeks. Stephen needed that time to tie up some loose ends and quit his job. Joe would prepare his parents and especially Patrick's dad for his new lover (even though they technically were not lovers yet).
When Patrick and Joe became lovers, Joe had begun to call Patrick's father dad. Patrick's dad had aged a lot since the death of his son.
"Hi, dad, good to see you. How are you?" Joe walked in to the house when the door was opened he didn't want to use his key.
"Oh quite well actually, how about you, my boy."
"Dad, I have to talk to you. Could we sit down please?"
"Oh yes, sure. Come in to the kitchen I'll make us some coffee and you tell me what is on your mind." Together they walked in to the kitchen and Joe sat down. "Okay fire away, son tell me what is on your mind," Patrick's dad said after he put down the hot coffee.
"Ok, dad, well, ehm, you know how much I loved Patrick don't you?" Joe started and he felt the tears starting to weld up in his eyes.
"Yes, son, I do -- I know how much you loved him."
"Ok, ehm, when I was in Switzerland I met a man and I fell in love," Joe let out a deep sigh.
"I am happy for you, son, you deserve it. I know how much you suffered when Pat died," Patrick's dad's eyes were wet too.
"This doesn't mean I forgot Patrick. I want you to know that, you have to understand that."
Joe started to cry and Patrick's dad got up from his chair to hug him "I know, Joe, I know. I am happy for you. I have some news myself too, you know. I met someone too -- a nice lady. I am not in love yet, but I do like her a lot."
"That is good news dad you deserve it as much as anyone to find some happiness."
"Thank you, son. Now where is this new love of yours did you leave him in the car or something."
"No dad of course not! He is still in Switzerland tying up everything. He will come over in a few weeks. We don't know exactly when, but I will let you know and you will meet him."
Joe stayed for a while talking about the computer business but then he had to go. He had to tell his parents about Stephen. He had felt he needed to talk to Patrick's dad first. His mum and dad were thrilled for their son and they cried for the love he lost.
January 30th Stephan arrived at Heathrow airport. Joe went to pick him up and drove him to the apartment they were going to share for now. They dropped off Stephen's stuff and drove on to meet the family. Stephen was a nervous wreck by the time they rode into the parking place. He dreaded meeting Patrick's dad and Joe's parents -- his own parents kicked him out when they found out he was gay. He could not imagine the parents could accept him.
Joe opened the door with his key and yelled in to the living room, "Mum, dads, we're home!"
"Come on, give me your coat. I'll put it away. Hey, Stephen, you don't have to be nervous. It is okay, they are going to like you."
"I wish I could be as sure of that as you are. I am scared stiff."
"Okay come here let me give you a hug, Christ, man, you are shaking. Come on lets get this over with before you change your mind and run back to Switzerland."
"Not on your life I am staying with you I just wish this could be over with."
The two young men stepped into the living room and three pair of eyes focused on poor Stephen he didn't know were to look first so he just stared at the floor.
"Mum, dad, dad, this is Stephen. Stephen, this is my mum my dad and Sam. I guess you could call him my dad in law" Stephen shook all of their hands mumbling his name; he still wasn't convinced why he had to meet these people, but Joe insisted on it.
Sam was the first one to ask Stephen a question and soon they were talking like they all were old friends. Stephen just couldn't believe it they didn't even blink an eye when Joe kissed him. Joe obviously was right about their attitude towards gays, he never met people like that. He actually regretted it when they had to leave it took them an other half hour to get out of the door and Stephen kissed everybody goodnight like Joe did he couldn't believe his luck, a beautiful boyfriend and some great new friends all at once.
That night they slept together in the guest room. Joe couldn't sleep with an other man in the bed he shared with Patrick. Stephen understood. They didn't make love, that was going to take some time for both of them. Even though they both lost their lovers about four years ago, the wounds were still fresh, they were content to just hold each other.
They stayed in the apartment until Joe finished college five months later. Then they went searching for a house in a quiet part of London near by where Joe's parents and Sam lived. They found a perfect place in a street half a mile away from Joe's parents with the help of the parents, Sam and Joe's friends the place was fixed up in no time.
They bought a new bed and a lot of new bed sheets and gave the old bed to charity they didn't want to throw it in the trash. The first night they spent in their new home was the first time they made love. It was bitter sweet for both of them. They spent a lot of time crying and comforting each other. But they knew their love for each other would heal all of their wounds given some time. Joe was sure he heard Patrick whisper "Love him." When he finally fell asleep...
The beginning.