Chapter 1
I nibbled passionately at his neck while letting my hands roam over his firm, slender body.
He started running his fingers through my short wavy hair as he tilted his head back and groaned deeply.
Unfortunately we were in a toilet cubicle, which lacked both comfort and space. Nonetheless it was our only option, because I had a man at home.
I'd literally known this guy for a few minutes before asking him to meet me in the toilets. He was gorgeous and up for it and that's all I needed right now.
I'd come to this bar after work every day for the last year. My boyfriend thought I finished work at 5, but I finished at 4 and usually came here for a quickie before going home. It was a low key gay bar on the way home from work where there was always someone to hook up with.
Perfect.
I fastened up my trousers and gave him a kiss on the cheek before leaving the cubicle.
I washed my hands and face before brushing my hair into place with my fingers. Luckily I had some deodorant in the car to drown out the smell of sex and another mans cologne on my suit.
I left the bar and got in my car. I gave myself a quick squirt of Lynx before setting off home.
Home to my boyfriend Jacob.
I may have been a serial cheat; but it wasn't due to Jacob. Jacob was perfect in every way possible. We'd been together for about three years and lived together for two.
We got on brilliantly. He really understood me. He always seemed to know what I needed, whether that be some space, a hug or even just a cup of coffee. Jacob was definitely an incredible boyfriend. He was great at making me laugh and was absolutely stunning.
The most gorgeous man I'd ever seen; with short dark hair, tanned skin, luminous green eyes, sharp cheekbones and a slim toned body. Gorgeous.
Even his voice was perfect –it was so soft and sexy. I could listen to him talk for hours; I would just lose myself in his voice. Jacob sounded even sexier when he moaned during sex, incredible infact!
I often felt guilty for cheating on Jacob. But I just couldn't seem to help myself; I loved the excitement of having forbidden sex. The thrill of trying to cover my tracks was amazing and I couldn't get enough of it.
Apart from cheating on Jacob, I treated him right in every other way. I enjoyed taking him out and spoiling him and I constantly gave him affection. I always did what I could to make him feel good, because I would be nothing without him.
I parked outside our home and as always when I looked at our house, I felt proud of Jacob and I. We'd worked our arses off to get this place. It was lovely and most importantly, it was ours.
I made my way inside and as soon as I got through the door my loving Jacob greeted me.
"Hey Phil!" he exclaimed while wrapping his arms around me, "Had a good day?"
I pulled him into a tentative kiss before replying.
"Yeah, but I've missed you constantly." I smiled at him.
He was adorable. He had this cheeky grin that would make my heart melt.
"Bless you," he chuckled, "come get your tea."
I followed him into the dining room and on the way I could see he'd done the housework yet again. The house was spotless!
He really was the perfect boyfriend. I honestly couldn't have asked for any better then Jacob.
Once we got into the dining room I saw he'd cooked beef bourguignon. One of my favorites!
I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him on the cheek.
"Thank you." I whispered into his ear, while taking in his sweet scent.
As we sat down and ate I noticed Jacob seemed nervous and fidgety.
"Everything ok?" I questioned.
"Yeah..." He said hesitantly, before suddenly sounding guilty, "well...would you mind if I popped out for a bit after tea? Just for a couple of hours, I won't if you don't want me to, it's just my Dad's asked me to go round and help with setting up his internet..."
I couldn't help but chuckle at his innocence. He always seemed to feel bad about wanting to go out, even if it was just to his parents house.
"I keep telling you Jacob, you don't need my permission," I giggled, "I don't mind at all."
"Sorry." He blushed.
He looked so adorable when he blushed.
"This tastes great by the way." I told him with a big smile.
Jacob smiled shyly back at me.
He always got embarrassed when I complimented him. He was really insecure which surprised me, because he was really good-looking and just so bloody perfect. Jacob had no reason to be insecure; he was incredibly kind and generous and caring and funny. If he wanted to he could literally go out and get anyone he wanted. You'd have to be blind and stupid to not appreciate Jacob. I felt like the luckiest man alive to have him in my life.
That may seem odd considering I regularly have sex with other men, but my habit had nothing to do with Jacob, I did it purely for my own excitement.
Very unfair I know, but I just couldn't seem to stop.
As soon as I cleared my plate Jacob took it from me and went into the kitchen. I followed him and as he washed up I gently kissed his neck. I loved the taste and smell of his skin, and the softness of his hair. After making love I'd lay his head on my chest and stroke his hair until we both fell asleep.
Making love to Jacob was definitely the best sex I'd experienced. Not only because he was unbelievably beautiful and his moans sent shivers down by spine but because...well just because. Sex with Jacob was so different compared to having it with anyone else, purely because it was with him. It was special and meaningful and with someone I loved.
"I'm going to get going then Phil," he said softly, "I shouldn't be too long."
"Ok babe," I said while turning him around so I could hug him tightly. "I can't wait to get in bed with you tonight."
He pressed his lips to mine ever so softly; I held his face and kissed him back passionately.
I felt him pull me in closer.
It wasn't long until we were getting breathless.
I wanted to have him right there.
I attempted to pull Jacobs top off but he stopped me.
"I need to get to my Dads," he whimpered into our kiss, "but we'll finish this when I get back."
`But I'm horny now' is what I wanted to say, but instead I just slowly pulled away from kissing him and looked adoringly into his stunning eyes.
His eyes seemed to glaze over and his lips looked redder whenever he got turned on, making him look even sexier.
"I love you so much." I whispered.
Jacob showed me a massive cheeky grin.
"Love you too Phil, more than anything."
I gave him a quick peck on the lips before letting him leave the kitchen to get his shoes on. I took my phone out my pocket as I followed him into the hallway.
Butterflies flooded my stomach as I text a `sex buddy' to come round, while watching Jacob putting his shoes on.
Yes, not only do I go around sleeping with strangers, I also have friends who I meet up with for sex.
Jacob kissed me softly and then called "See you soon" as he left the house.
Fuck I felt so horny.
I couldn't wait to get in bed with Jacob tonight, but the thought of having a sneaky encounter in the meantime was electrifying.
I checked my phone and luckily I had a reply to say they'd be five minutes.
Brilliant!
I quickly popped out to my car to get a condom out of the glove box –fortunately Jacob and I had separate cars and if we ever went out together, we went out in his.
I shoved one into my pocket and made my way back inside. I waited eagerly in the hallway for a knock on the door.
I'd invited John who was one of many sex buddies. He was around late twenties, same as me, and very handsome. Tall and muscular with short black hair.
I took off my suit jacket and hung it up near the front door just as someone knocked on it. I called for them to come in and the sexy, confident John came through the door with a devilish grin.
He shut the door behind him and straightaway grabbed my tie to pull me in for a kiss.
Fuck yeah!
"Upstairs," I moaned into the kiss, "can't be longer than twenty minutes."
I liked taking risks but twenty minutes was always the limit when anyone came to the house.
With that we made our way upstairs and into mine and Jacobs bedroom.
While having sex with John I completely lost myself in the moment, so much that when I heard the door open, it didn't register who had probably opened it.
I continued while I slowly turned to see who was in the doorway.
Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw.
Nothing.
I had never seen so much pain in someone's eyes before. My full body froze as I saw Jacob standing there, his expression looked full of inconsolable hurt. He looked utterly devastated, with tears streaming down his face.
Seeing that caused me a sudden stab of unbearable pain.
What the fuck had I done.
Jacob darted out of the room and I quickly pulled my trousers up before chasing after him. My heart was pounding.
No no no no no no no, I thought to myself while running down the stairs.
"Jacob!" I choked out as I saw him leave through the front door.
I followed him out onto the street and tried to grab him before he could get in his car, but I failed.
As soon as he got in he locked the doors.
Fuck!
He was out of my reach.
"Jacob, please!" I begged while hitting the door window, "Jacob!"
He can't leave. We need to talk about this. There's no way he can leave!
I couldn't see his face as he started up the car, but a part of me didn't even want to. I couldn't stand the sight of the pain that was clearly written allover it.
I continued to shout his name as he drove off and sped down the street.
I pulled at my hair out of frustration. Tears were now pouring down my face and my body was trembling.
Pain coursed through my veins overwhelming my whole body along with guilt and regret.
How the fuck could I have let myself hurt Jacob like that?
Fuck.
I ran back inside the house and saw John coming downstairs.
I glared evilly at him as he walked past me and left. I knew he'd not done anything wrong, but I felt angry with him nonetheless.
I didn't know what to do. I was in a complete state and I felt terrified at the thought of losing Jacob.
Jacob was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I suddenly couldn't see why I'd ever risked jeopardizing our relationship.
I dug my phone out and tried to call Jacob, but there was no answer. I tried to call a further seven times before giving up and chucking my phone on the stairs. I went into the living room and slumped on the sofa, burying my head in my hands.
I kept trying to find excuses I could give Jacob while I sat there sobbing. But I couldn't think of anything plausible, considering what he'd just seen.
But I needed to find a way to keep him. I could barely breathe and felt ready to vomit when I thought about him leaving me, no longer loving me or even speaking to me.
There was no way I was going to let that happen.