Here we go, one more time.... La la la la la
Disclaimer, this is a work of fiction, I do not know N'sync or anything about their personal life :)
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Chris looked back at me, his brown eyes peering into mine. I am sure my soul, and all my emotions were naked for him in the depths of my eyes.
"I know it isn't fair, and I should tell you right now... but I don't want it to effect the interview we have tomorrow morning. So I want us to go to sleep now... and worry about the rest tomorrow." Chris told me softly.
I huffed and glared at him. "Chris, that was the worst thing you could possibly do. How dare you tell me you made your decision but won't tell me what it is?" I growled.
"I know it isn't fair Lance." Chris told me softly.
"Well then dammit tell me!" I whispered urgently.
"Lance, after what I did today... I don't know how you are going to react to my decsion. So I want to wait till tomorrow. Please... don't make me tell you now." Chris pleaded with me, his brown eyes wide.
"Then why did you come over her to torment me Chris?" I said sharply. "You know I am going to have an impossible time trying to sleep now." I moaned at him.
Chris looked at me sheepishly, "I know Lance... But I also wanted to ask if I could spend tonight with you. Please?" Chris asked softly, his brown eyes had taken on a puppy dog look.
"Chris, do you honestly think I could deny having you in my arms for one more night." I said softly. I took Chris' hand... I didn't want anymore speaking, and I gave him a look that he seemed to understand.
We silently made our way under the blankets and cuddled up to each other. I wrapped my arms around Chris. I laid for many moments, wide awake. I listened to the sound of Chris' shallow breathing. I don't know why, but to me it seemed like this was the last night I would ever hold Chris while he slept. My heart felt heavy and I was saddened by the thought. I felt this was the beginning of some sort of end. I held Chris tighter and he nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck. I felt his feather like breathing caressing the bare skin on my neck. I gently ran my fingers through Chris' soft brown hair. As I felt the minutes tick by, I silently thanked god (ahem, authors note..no I am not Christian but I felt lance is..so :P just makin that clear) for the memories Chris and I had shared over the last few days. I felt more strongly about Chris now then I ever did before. I closed my eyes, and tried to grasp a few moments of sleep. I knew I had an interview to do early the next day with a local radio station. After what felt like ages, I drifted into a restless slumber.
A wake up call woke me up at 6:30, and I groped around to answer it. "Hullo?" I asked groggily into the phone.
"Wake up call for Mr. Bass." The cheery voice on the other end said.
I grunted thanks and hung up the phone. I looked down at Chris sleeping, he looked like a angel. So perfect and beautiful; I gently shook him and tried to get him awake. He grunted a protest.
I leaned down and whispered in his ear, "If you don't get up now, I will go find the spray bottle." I leaned back and waited for his response.
Chris, as I expected, sat bolt up in bed and glared at me. "That isn't funny Lance."
"But it got you up. Now scoot and go shower, we gotta meet the guys for breakfast at 7:30." I said giving Chris a swat on the bottom.
Chris grumbled and got out of bed. He stuck his tongue out at me, and headed for the bathroom.
After lying in bed feeling a sadness sweep over me at how I wanted to spend every morning like this. With the way Chris acted last night, it was hard to tell what his decision was. Most would think automatically that he would want to hook up after wanting to spend the night with me. However, I knew that Chris often sought out comfort when he was faced with a decision that was going to be painful for him and another. So I had no idea of knowing, and Chris was very good at hiding things, when he felt it was necessary.
I let out a loud sigh and rubbed my face and got out of bed. I threw on some flannel lounge pants and a T-shirt. I knew I wasn't going to have time for a shower before breakfast. Hopefully after breakfast I would tho.
Chris walked into my room just wearing a towel. I stared at him long and hard. He looked magnificent. His skin still looked dewy from his shower, and his hair glistened with water droplets. When I focused on Chris' face, I noticed he was blushing fiercely. I too blushed, after I realized I'd been caught.
I coughed and tried feeling less embarrassed. "Did you want something Chris?"
Chris nodded. "I was wondering, if we were supposed to pack. I know we're flying to Orlando when we're done this interview, but I didn't know if they were bringing us back to gather the stuff, or if we were loading it before we left." Chris asked me.
"Um, you better pack... Knowing management they'll want to leave as soon as possible. You know what slave drivers they can be." I told Chris with a grin.
Chris nodded "Thanks." And he smiled at me and exited threw the bathroom.
I looked at my watch and realized it was close to breakfast time. I made my way to J.C's room where breakfast was to be served that morning. I knocked, even though I knew just to go in. I wanted to be polite tho, especially after ignoring the rest of the group lately.
J.C answered the room and looked at me quizzically, "Why didn't you just come in Lance? You know the door is always open at breakfast time. You never knock."
"Umm...I know.... I just felt like knocking today." I said with a sheepish smile.
J.C just shook his head and shoved the door open. I followed him in and went to close it behind me but felt some resistance. I looked over my shoulder and saw my elfkin standing behind me. I quickly corrected myself in my head... "Chris" not "Elfkin". I knew I was being silly, but I didn't know what tonight's outcome would hold and I wanted to have prepared myself.
I gave Chris an apologetic smile, and made my way into the room. I scooped up what looked like a chocolate chip muffin, and grabbed a glass of orange juice and perched myself on a over stuffed chair.
I noticed Justin giving me the evil eye, and I just smiled sweetly at him. I knew he wanted the latest dish on what was going on between Chris and I, but he'd just have to wait. I couldn't very well give him news I wasn't so sure of myself. Justin then gave me a pleading look, and I just shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. Justin gave up and shook his head in disgust and went back to his bacon.
"Okay," Joey's loud voice boomed. "I want to know what the hell is going on around here, and I want to know now." He said giving everyone the evil eye. "Justin, you said something earlier about Lance liking Chris. So I know that much. But I am sick and damn tired of walking around not knowing what the holy hell is happening within the group. If you all want to keep secrets fine, but keep them out of the groups business." Joey ranted glaring at everyone.
I glared at Joey, and said calmly. "Joe, you know I love you man, but this is none of your concern. Nor is it J.C's or Justin's. This is between Chris and I. I would like to keep it between Chris and I. I am not saying anything further, and that is all you around going to know. Our "secrets" haven't effected the group at all. And sometimes people need privacy. I know you think because we spend most of our life together that we should know everything and anything that happens within someone in the groups life, but that isn't so. We all need our secrets and our private time. Chris and I are sorting things out, and that is all you need to know. That goes for you Justin, and J.C. I am not trying to be rude, but I don't feel now is the time this needs to be discussed. When the time is right, you will be all notified and we will discuss it then. But until that time, mind your own damn business." I huffed and grabbed my juice and half-eaten muffin. "I'll be in my room." And with that I flounced out of the room like a drama queen. Leaving everyone else staring after me with their mouths gaping open.
I normally do not speak so directly with the group, especially not that harsh. But I didn't want everyone sticking their noses into my private business. Especially when I wasn't so sure of my private business. I felt extremely strained with everything between Chris and I being up in the air. I returned to my room and sat in a chair by the window and ate my muffin. I gulped down my juice, and headed for the shower.
I let the hot water stream over my body, it felt good and I felt myself relaxing a little bit. I decided in that shower stall that no matter what happened between Chris and I, good or bad; I would always have the precious moments we've spent together since I finally told him. I knew I would have to move on, if Chris' decision turned out to be not in my favour. I knew, I would do just fine. I always did just fine.
I turned off the hot water and stepped out of the shower and gave myself a rub down. I felt refreshed and at the same time, nervous. I suddenly remembered that tomorrow was Chris' birthday. I was excited because I knew we'd get the day off. We ALWAYS got the day off on our birthdays. I could do with a day off.
I quickly got dressed and packed up my toiletries in the bag and got ready to leave. It was 8:30, and time to head over to the radio station. I peeked outside the door, and saw Chris and J.C standing by the elevators with their bags. I lugged mine out of my room and sat it beside them. Chris and J.C smiled at me weakly, and I returned it with a bright cheery smile. I was going to make the most of this day. It was going to be good!
"Where is Just and Joe?" I asked them.
"Packing... you know how they take forever." J.C said with a smile.
I shook my head. "I don't know why they can't pack the night before, like the rest of us." I said and then lapsed into silence again.
I just rested against the wall trying to look casual. I wanted to touch Chris, but I knew that right now it wasn't a good idea. I wasn't sure what was going on, and Chris may not welcome my touch. As the two guys waited, I suddenly realized that I didn't know why Chris would change his mind and not want to be with me. He seemed to enjoy the time we spent together. However, I understood that he was just testing the water. To do that, you have to stick your toe in and get it wet. I sighed, probably more loudly then I should have, and noticed both Chris and J.C looking at me funny. I smiled meekly and became very interested in my shoe.
Shortly after, I heard a commotion and looked up. Justin and Joey were making their way towards us struggling to carry their bags. I just shook my head. Those two had so much clothes it wasn't funny.
"Finally you two," I teased, "I thought we were going to have to send a search party to look for you."
Justin and Joey looked at me with surprise, I guess they didn't expect me to be cheery, but I was. I just gave them a toothy grin and pushed the down button on the elevator. I flipped open my cell phone and punched in a few numbers and informed management we were on our way.
All of us piled into the elevator with our stuff and made our way down. Management met us at the bottom, and some of our travelling crew came and collected our baggage. We were ushered into a limo and we all crowded in.
I noticed the tense silence and I felt bad. "Common guys, don't mope. We've got a long day ahead of us, and it'll suck royal ass if we're all pissy with each other. I'm sorry for snapping earlier but it had to be said. So let's get on with it. We've got a day off tomorrow cause it's Chris' birthday. So be HAPPY people.' I said giving everyone, what I hoped was an encouraging pep talk.
I scanned their faces, Justin looked amused, J.C looked puzzled at my sudden burst of sunshine, Joey just grinned at me... good ole Joe, always understanding, Chris however was looking at me with a worried expression. I quickly averted my eyes from him. I knew, deep down that I was putting on a act, and that there was no way in hell that in my current situation I could be this chipper and happy. Denial may be unhealthy, but right now I needed to indulge myself, and so I did.
After my little outburst, the whole group started chatting each other up. And everything seemed to be ok. I felt happy, knowing that I had patched things up somewhat. Thought I questioned whether my heart could heal if possible ripped out and stomped on. I shook my head mentally and tried not to think like that. Who knew what tonight would bring.
After a extremely boring interview and signing some autographs we made our way to the airport. On the plane I took a window seat. Unsure who would park themselves next to me, but personally I didn't mind.
I put on my headphones and pressed play. The soft tunes Moby c.d. I had made especially for relaxing occasions flowed threw the headphones into my awaiting ears, making me feel immediately relaxed. I cranked it up to full and rested my head against he pillow propped up against the window and closed my eyes. I knew that doing so would insure that no one would harass me. They would just assume I was sleeping. I felt a head on my shoulder, and I breathed deeply. Chris... I knew it was Chris because of his cologne and unique sent.
I just kept my eyes closed. I knew this too, didn't mean anything. It was a common occurrence to see members of n'sync with their heads on each other's shoulder on the plane. It was more comfortable that way. It was also common that Joey liked to sit alone, J.C and Justin together and Chris with me. I sighed deeply. This was so confusing. I hated it! I hated not knowing. I knew that tonight it would all be over. I just hoped the outcome was worth the stress I was enduring today.
After we arrived in Orlando and settled into our hotel. We had another interview to endure and then we were free for the night. The interview was tedious questions about mindless things that were so stupid it made me want to scream. Most of the questions were directed towards Justin and J.C., which was perfectly fine by me because I got left alone.
After the interview was done at six. We made our way back to the hotel. Once in the solitude of my own room I collapsed on the bed. My stomach was in knots. I knew sooner or later there would be a knock on my door, and Chris would be there with an answer to what had been pestering me all day. The waiting was agony.
I pulled out a tattered copy of Dr Susses green eggs and ham. Even thought it was a kid's book, the rhymes helped to soothe me. It was silly but I loved it anyway. After reading threw the book 5 times, I felt calmer. Then there was a knock at the door. I froze, like a deer caught in the headlights. I slid the book back into my duffel bag, and made my way to the door. I unlocked it and opened it, and just as I suspected, there stood Chris.
He smiled at me and I smiled back and moved aside to allow him into my room. He did, and I noticed he was carrying a duffel bag. He set the duffel bag on my bed and looked at me. I just looked back at him. His face revealed nothing, and he just stood there. I was beginning to get nervous. Chris took a seat in one of the big armchairs that the room had, I sat in the other one. I again looked into Chris' eyes and tried to find out what he was thinking. Once again, I received no clues.
Chris cleared his throat, and I went stiff in my chair. He offered me a small smile, and I too smiled back. "I know today has been stressful Lance, and I hate that I've stressed you out." Chris started. "I just thought that now, would be a much better time to discuss this, then last night at two thirty in the morning." He took a breath and began again. "When you first kidnapped me, I was unsure what to make of things. I honestly had hoped for someone else, but I was pleasantly surprised by what I had received. I had never in the past, pondered that you could ever love, or be interested in someone like me. I was always goofy, and you serious and sweet. After we spent the night together on the couch I woke and I knew that this felt so right. And when you woke me in the early morning to watch the sunrise together, it only strengthened my belief. We seem to click together with such intensity that it is impossible to deny. I cannot imagine why I never saw it before. I believe I did what I did the other morning because I was nervous. I was faced with such a major decision and I didn't know how to react. I admit, I didn't react as I should have, I reacted rather rudely. And after you ignored me all day... well it was awful. It made me think of what it would be like if I had of lost you. You are so special Lance, and so caring. I adore you so much. I'm starting to fall in love with you. Because everyday I wake up... I just feel stronger. So please... forgive me for being a ass and be my boyfriend." Chris ended his speech and his soft brown eyes looked deep into mine. My heart melted and I couldn't possibly deny him.
I couldn't think of anything to say... my eyes were misting over with tears and my chest tight with relief. I could only get out "Of course Elfkin, I want forever."
Chris came over and pulled me from my chair and held me tight. Happy tears cascaded down my cheeks as I looked into Chris' eyes. Our lips came together and we kissed softly at first, but then with more passion. Our tongues did a celebratory dance and I held Chris close to me. It was the happiest moment.
Chris pulled back and smiled at me. I just smiled back dumbly. Chris pulled away from me and walked over to the bag he sat on the bed. "What's in there?" I questioned.
Chris turned and grinned at me. "Go into the bathroom and don't come out till I say!" He ordered.
I saluted him and went into the bathroom and closed the door. With the moment to myself I reflected over what just happened. Chris was mine! ALL MINE! No more hoping, or wishing... it was TRUE. I did a happy dance and kind of got carried away because the door swung open and there stood Chris looking at me baffled. I blushed bright red and hung my head. Chris roared with laughter and took my hand. "Follow me!"
I followed Chris out into my room, which had been transformed. He had lit candles around the room and put a checkered blanket on the floor with a picket basket, and a bucket of ice with a bottle of wine stuffed in it. Chris grinned at me and we both sat on the blanket. It was going to be an eventful evening.
WEW that is ALL I am writing! There will be more later after I take a break.
I hope you enjoyed it lovies...
Susie Q
chocolate_cow_angel@hotmail.comGet Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.