Olga came into the office where Wozeck was working away at his latest translation project. "Woj", she said, using the claimants' nickname for Wozeck. "Max is here to go home with you."
Wozeck looked up from his desk and smiled. Max had called to tell him he might be picking him up. That meant there was probably a stop for a drink on the way home, and probably a superb night of sex ahead of them. There were no performances at the theater tonight, but as Max once said to him "We are always performers , for an audience or for each other."
Max was Wozeck's third claimant and his favorite by far. He had been claimed only six months ago, but he liked Max. He liked Max a LOT. Max was responsible for getting permission for him to not have to wear the standard "rank uniform" to work, which Wozeck hated (he still had to wear the lapel pin that said "claimed" and "used" via the color symbols), but every couple of weeks, Max would surprise him either with something new for his wardrobe, or took him out to pick himself. Today, wozeck was wearing one of Max' favorites: a somewhat wildly patterned shirt that was mostly yellow orange with a black abstract design, and very snug black pants. He kept only one button opened, for work purposes, but when he knew Max was there, he opened a second one. He thought about opening a third, but he decided to leave that to Max.
"Are you nearly finished woj?" Max was standing in the doorway, smiling. "I could go visit one of the local brothels or something and come back when you're done." He smiled. Wozeck smiled too. Even the very unflattering gold collared rank uniform, indicating that Max was at the highest level of the ruling elite, couldn't take away from Max's beautiful black eyes, his sexy smile, and the sense of confidence he always carried.
"No Sir. I simply need to finish this one sentence. Croatian is not that easy for me. Just ten seconds." He finished and got up and went to Max. Max stood about four inches taller than wozeck did, and when he put his arm around wozeck, the young man's head barely came to Max's armpit.
Wozeck had been "taken" during the wars in which his country, and many others, were overrun by the "Alliance" as the members called themselves. His parents, freedom fighters, had been killed in the war, as had been the parents of so many other children. There were so many that when the surrender was complete, and the Alliance had occupied his country, they had set up complexes for raising the children until they could be functioning adults. There had been six of them in Wozeck's country, and he had been assigned to Complex 4. In this respect, he was lucky: each of the complexes was run by a different "headmaster" or "headmistress," and while there was a uniform set of guidelines they had to carry out, HOW they carried them out was up to the head. Also, where the guidelines were silent, there was some "social engineering" that the children had no idea was happening.
For example, the headmaster of Complex 1 believed that prole children should not be allowed to breed, period. Since the surgery became more risky as the children grew older, and losing valuable labor to failed experiments was not something a headmaster wanted, the children, both boys and girls, were subjected to laser treatment to destroy their sexual organs. They would grow up as totally functioning adults, who simply could not reproduce. The headmistress of Complex 2 had a different view. She saw the proles as a chance to renew labor sources, but she wanted their breeding controlled. Hence, she had every child in her Complex fitted with chastity early on.
The headmaster of Wozeck's Complex had a completely different idea. In his view, while the children WERE being raised to be used as slave labor in the future, they were also being trained to serve at the pleasure of their conquerors. It was best if they developed their sexuality early on: they could catch on to their eventual claimants' needs that much faster. He went so far as to provide "playrooms" where the children could act out their fantasies. That was where Wozeck first learned about how much he resembled the rebellion leader Stanislaus.
The legends of Stanislaus were known by every child. Successful in battle, clever, fearless, he had eventually been captured in an ambush. He had killed twenty Alliance soldiers before he was taken . The orders were that he was to be taken alive. When he was, he was brought to the Alliance Leader, Lord Miller, who claimed him immediately. Stanislaus remained his sex slave for a dozen years before, one day, in an act that was still spoken of with reverence, he took Lord Miller's life and then his own. He was only 33.
The pictures of Stanislaus that circulated DID show the similarties: blond, very icy blue eyes, rosy complexion , and a short, compact body that leaned toward chubby. Wozeck wasn't his son, but he could be, based on looks. When the children acted out the story of Stanislaus, it was always Wozeck whom they picked to play the rebel leader. Too young to know anything about the "sex" part of "sex slave," they simply turned Wozeck into their slave and played as children did.
Complex life was fairly good for the children: they were educated, and treated well. They were being raised at the Complexes until they were 16, at which point, they could be claimed by the ruling elite. Even then, there were rules, as we shall see.
Wozeck was 14 when he had his first serious crush, and the crush was reciprocated. The Complex had lost a fair number of occupants to claiming: Wozeck's headmaster was very good at placing his charges, and a new group of youngsters were transferred from a crowded camp in the south to Complex 4. That's how Wozeck met Pietro. When the new boys were introduced to the residents, Wozeck thought Pietro smiled at him. He was right. That night, at supper, Pietro came to the seat next to Wozeck.
"Ciao. Is it ok if I join you?" He smiled. Wozeck didn't understand what he was feeling, but he felt warm, and good, and smiled back. "Yes, of course. I saw you this morning at orientation." "I saw you too." Pietro's eyes were dark and they were piercing. "In fact, I couldn't stop looking at you." Wozeck didn't know where his words came from, but he answered "You don't have to. Until we fall asleep." Wozeck checked to see if one of the playrooms were free that night.
When he found one, he and Pietro retired to that room. "I'm used to top bunk as the Alliance says. Is that ok?" "Top bunk? There's only one bed Pietro." Pietro laughed. "I will explain. Little by little. Just come along." He kissed Wozeck, and that first kiss woke up feelings Wozeck didn't even know he had. It was the first time he had ever tasted another man's cock: Pietro wanted to fuck him, but however liberal the Headmaster was, he was very clear: anal play was not permitted: he wanted his charges to be "unusued" or "pure" when they were put up for claiming.
Pietro and Wozeck were inseparable for a year. But Pietro was a year older than Wozeck and when he turned 16, his profile had been posted as available for claiming. One morning, when Wozeck woke up, Pietro was gone. It would be more than 40 years before he saw him again.
Then it was his turn. At 16, Wozeck's photo and information was posted as "available for claiming." There was more than one interested party.
For the following week, the Headmaster called Wozeck to his office every day in order to meet a potential claimant. Wozeck had been trained in the answers he was supposed to give, and did not disappoint the headmaster. Yet the headmaster rejected all but one of the claimants. Wozeck knew that questioning the Headmaster was not encouraged, but he did anyway.
"Headmaster Smyrlova, you have denied so many who would take me. May I ask why, so that I can learn to distinguish what is good and what is not?" The way Wozeck phrased the question pleased Alex Smyrlova: he would do his best to find this one a proper beginning. "Wozeck, while it is true that at 16, you are eligible for claiming, it is not permitted for the claimant to use you, sexually, until you are 18. My feeling from each of the men who came to see you, was that they would violate that interdiction as soon as they had you at home, and away from the Complex. I cannot let that happen. They could always appeal my decison, but..." and he smiled. "None have. " He paused.
An Alliance party official and his wife - you remember the couple I think - at the second level (Wozeck remembered the silver uniform), seemed to be the best place for you. They entertain frequently, and they would want you to be a worker in their kitchens." "Headmaster, with all due respect, I have been terrible at the cooking classes." The Headmaster smiled. "I am aware of that, and you will not be cooking, Wozeck. Rather, they will have you trained in service. The languages you have mastered so easily will be extremely handy, because their entertaining stretches to visitors from all over. " He smiled again. "You learned enough Italian from Pietro to learn a language we do not teach here, and then there is the Croatian, the Czech and the Ukranian." "You forgot the English," Wozeck teased, before he blushed and regretted what he said. He needn't have. The Headmaster laughed. "I did not forget it, Wozeck. I knew that you'd remind me. English was hard for you, but you learned it. It is very unusual to send out a 16 year old who has mastered 5 languages and who entered with two others: your Polish and your Russian. " He stood up.
"Serge and Masha will be here later today to bring you to their home." He stood and smiled. "Headmasters are not supposed to become fond of their charges, Wozeck. I am afraid I have broken that rule. I cannot remember a resident of whom I was fonder. I will be watching. You will not always know it, and sometimes you will. " He offered his hand to Wozeck.
"You are about to start a very interesting life, young man. May you make the wisest of choices, and may you live happily." Then, breaking protocol, he embraced young Wozeck.
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Serge and Masha turned out to be everything that the Headmaster had said they were. They enjoyed each other that was clear. Masha had a laugh like a bell, and you heard it in the home - a large one - almost constantly. She had an energy almost like a hummingbird, and she was exceptionally fond of Wozeck, treating him at times like a colleague, and at other times like a favorite toy. "Wozeck! We have Polish dignitaries coming tonight. Please check these. Taste them. The pierogis... are they ok? " He tasted them. Yes, they were superb, but the salty, black stuff... he made a face. "Madame Masha, what is the sauce on top of them? I do not think we ate that at home." "OH, caviar. NO, it is Russian. It is very expensive. " "Madame Masha, if I may, pierogi are very special to Polish. I think that if you were to add the caviar, they would feel insulted: as if their food were not good enough." Masha thought for a minute and smiled. "Wozeck, you are so smart. OF COURSE. How could I have let myself think that? No caviar! That is fine. MORE FOR ME" and she laughed harder.
They had him serve drinks and snacks that night, so Wozeck was in a pair of tight black waiter pants, a white ruffled shirt, and a red bow tie as he carried drinks from guest to guests. "Would you care for a vodka Sir?" He stopped in front of one man - the only one there that night not wearing a tie - who stared at Wozeck with an intensity that made Wozeck look away. Once he could. In addition to not wearing a tie, the man's blue shirt was opened three buttons down and the dark hair on his chest was making Wozeck a bit weak at the knees. "Yes, thank you. In fact I would like two." He took two drinks from Wozeck's tray. "You are working, but please come back with more vodka. My name, by the way, is Uri." "I will do so Master Uri. I hope you enjoy the vodka." "I enjoy your smile more. And what is your name?" Wozeck looked around. He wasn't sure if protocol allowed him to answer, so he dropped his voice. "I am Wozeck Master Uri."
When the next round of vodka was passed, Wozeck made sure that he, rather than one of the other two servers, stopped at Uri to offer him a drink. Each time, Wozeck's smile grew bigger. At one point, when he picked up the glass to hand it to Master Uri, Master Uri's hand stopped on his and lingered for just a bit, before Wozeck blushed. "Master Uri, if you would excuse me, I must continue with my work." "Indeed, you must Wozeck. Do not disappoint your claimants. I'm sure Vladimir taught you that? "Vladimir, Master Uri?" "That is the first name of your former Headmaster. We are distantly related. He told me about the beautiful young boy who Serge and Masha had claimed. Vlad has a tendency to exaggerate. He did not." "You make me blush Sir." Uri smiled. "You will have to learn to accept compliments, young Wozeck. You will be getting many."
Uri was a guest at many of the parties that Serge and Masha gave. They noticed his interest in Wozeck, and they would spend some time teasing Wozeck about it. Especially Masha. "OH, everyone looks good in a server's uniform, even Sergy. HA HA HA HA HA HA. But I wonder... would he feel the same way if he saw you in the awful prole uniform?" When he moved from a charge of the state to one of the claimed , Wozeck's uniform had changed to one that was powder blue. It also carried a gold stripe to indicate that he was not available for sexual use yet. The color was just different enough from his eye color to be unflattering. The same could be said about the gold stripe and his hair. "Perhaps Madame could speak to the Council and see to different color uniforms." "Oh, you will have a different color uniform soon, Woj" "Is Madame unhappy with me?" "Oh, HARDLY. Did they not discuss this detail with you at the Complex, Woj?" "I think not, Madame." "Please sit. Bring us both some tea. I will explain." Masha was like the great aunt Wozeck had never had. She explained to him that a claim was only valid for two years. Once the two year period was over, the original claimants had priority for a second two year period, but there was an implication to that: the second period was an indication that you intended to "couple" the prole you had claimed. "That means, Woj, that the intention is that you would become the sexual partner of one or both of us." She pouted. "And I am afraid that, however fond Serge and I are of you, that is not something that we are interested in. " She sighed. "There are attempts to change the rules about this, except they aren't really rules, so there's nothing to change. It is just the way it is done. " She sighed. "Uri has indicated that he would be interested in claiming you after your term with us is over. You would still see us, of course - Uri may even bring you to the parties he attends here - but he would be claiming you as an intended bed partner." She looked at Wozeck's face and she smiled. "I can see you are torn: between being with us, and being with Uri." When he said nothing, but looked away, she contiued. "Wozeck, we have claimed others before, and they were so happy to move on. You are not. You have made me happier than I have been since Serge asked me to marry him." "May I speak, Madame?" "OF COURSE. Which language would you prefer? Somehow I think French would be best for this conversation, but I think that is one you didn't get to. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Wozeck smiled.
"That is true Madame. Perhaps one day. " He spoke in Russian. "My parents died very young, before I knew them. I do not know of any of my relatives. You and Sir Serge have been the most kind of claimants, and have treated me so well. I will not soon forget it. And I hope one day, I can return your kindness." Masha smiled. "You already have, Woj. You already have."
Masha arranged a small celebration for Wozeck's 18th birthday. It was the last day he would be living with she and Serge: they had already visited Complex 4 to claim a new boy, and Uri would be coming later to take Wozeck home with him: the transfer of claim had all been taken care of, and now all Wozeck had to think about was the butterflies in his stomach. From marketing with Serge and Masha's cook, he had met other claimed men, who were 18 or over. He had learned some information about what would be expected. He was nervous. Could he?
"Madame. Master Uri is here." Masha rose "Ah. it is time my young Wozeck. I wish you the happiest of lives. Do not forget us. EVER." "Never Madame, never." "Good afternoon everyone. " He smiled at Wozeck. "Good afternoon Wozeck. Are you ready?" Wozeck bowed his head. "Yes Master Uri. I am ready." Uri came over and lifted Wozeck's head. "Such beautiful eyes should never be hidden. There is no need to lower your gaze. I am your claimant, not your god. "Yes Master Uri." Every time Wozeck had seen Uri, he was wearing some variation on the outfit he was wearing the first night: a shirt opened too far, a pair of tight slacks, usually a designer jacket, and a cologne that was slightly intoxicating. "Uri, we will send Wozeck's belongings with a messenger. There would be no need for you to take them with you." "Thank you Serge." He stepped forward and shook Serge's hand, and then embraced Masha. "And thank you for your generous gift of letting me take your sweet boy. I will be good to him." He grinned. "Most of the time." The three of them laughed, but Wozeck didn't understand what they meant.
Uri had a sleek, black car with a driver. "To home, Petrov." "Da Da Master." In the backseat, Uri put his hand on Wozeck's thigh. "This is the last time you will wear that uniform Wozeck. Are you excited?" "I am more excited about what will happen before I wear it Master Uri." He felt Uri's hand squeeze his thigh tighter. "Me too."
"So, let me show you our home Wozeck." Uri started leading Wozeck around a space just about the same size as the home of Serge and Masha, but decorated much differently: sparser, more modern furniture. The kitchen was immaculate . "I almost never use it Wozeck. We will be eating out a lot." "May I ask a question, Sir Uri? I have never seen you in a state uniform, yet you have not been sanctioned." "AH! Yes, a very good question, Wozeck. That is because I do not work as part of the state apparatus. You will see more people like me now that you are in a different circle. We are the private businessmen who are trying to develop the new Alliance of countries: to bring capital in to repair the damage of the wars, to rebuild schools, all while making a profit for ourselves. " He looked at Wozeck and smiled. "You are a curious young man, aren't you?" "I'm sorry if it were impertinent, Master Uri." Uri laughed. "Oh, it was FAR from that. Vladimir is an excellent Headmaster, but he cannot teach you everything. Some things.... you just must learn." Wozeck saw the far away look in Uri's eyes. It hit him: Uri had been in one of the complexes. He said nothing. Those kind of memories could be painful. "Now I have saved the best for last, Wozeck. This way." He put his hand on the back of Wozeck's neck, with a very gentle touch and led him to the bedroom. While Wozeck was taking in the room, he felt Uri's kiss on his neck, and he felt his hands slipping the zipper of his tunic down. "It is time, Wozeck. " The kissing continued, and Wozeck realized this was nothing like the playing he and Pietro had done. "Yes, Master Uri, it is."
The next two hours moved quickly, and slowly. Wozeck learned that there were spots on his body where, when Uri touched them just made him feel like a fire had gone off in his core. When he reacted, Uri smiled. "AH. This is good to know, for making my boy happy." "I AM happy Master Uri. I think I have wanted this day since the first party." "Ha ha. You may think that. I KNOW it. I have wanted it and waited it to disperse. It did not. It only grew. Like..." He showed Wozeck his enormous penis. "We may not do everything today, but eventually, I will train you to take the entirety of me. Now... what is the American expression: "easy does it."
Wozeck didn't mean to fall asleep, but he did. When he woke up, Uri was laying next to him, smiling. "Did you sleep well, moj aniolek? " Uri had used the Polish for "my cherub" and Wozeck smiled. "Do you speak Polish, Sir Uri?" Uri smiled. "When the claim had been finalized, I worked with a speaker to learn the words I might need to know. Some of them are as sweet as that. Others... well, you will learn them." He rolled on top of Wozeck. "My sweet pierogi, I hope that I can give you everything that you want, because I know you will do that for me." "How do you know that Sir?" "Because Vladimir, Serge, and Masha have all told me so. And none of these are people who would lie"
And yes, Wozeck had a wonderful two years with Uri. The next day, he switched from the pale blue uniform, to one darker, without a gold stripe. Now, he would be marked as a claimed man, who had also been "taken." He had seen many young men in such uniforms. Most seemed very happy. Others did not. Wozeck was happy. Uri had told the truth about being out every night, and he took Wozeck with him, almost always. Sometimes, he would convince Wozeck that it was ok not to wear the official government uniform, and he would dress his boy in clothes that would make the rest of the table jealous of Uri. One person at the table, who was a bit jealous, was Max. Max had known Uri since they had both left the complex. Max had risen to a high position in the ruling body, but lived alone. No one could understand why. Max' answer was always "I'm very picky." But now, he knew who his next boy would be. It would be Wozeck. See, he knew that Uri was not one to commit to a long term relationship. At the end of this claim, Wozeck would be 20. It would be time for decision making: like jobs, coupling... all the things that marked a man's transition from boy to man. He would wait. At home with Uri, Wozeck began to see that yes, indeed, while Uri had learned a lot of loving words, he had also learned Polish words like " Ssij mojego penisa TERAZ" (suck my cock NOW) and przekręć się, żebym mógł cię przelecieć ("roll over so I can FUCK you"). Wozeck also learned that the handcuffs and neck collars he had seen used on prisoners to torture them, could be used for pleasure. He learned how sensitive his ears were, and how ticklish he was. He learned the pleasure of having Uri's tongue inside of him - and of having his own tongue inside Uri. If Headmaster had seen to his standard education, Uri saw to his sexual education. By the time he was 20, Wozeck had learned more than most young men. And he was about to learn heartbreak. On the verge of his 20th birthday, Uri had the talk with him. "Wozeck, it's time. In the next few days, you should gather together your things. Including anything I have bought you. They are yours now." It felt like a slap in the face to Wozeck. "Master Uri, you are sending me away?" "Yes, Woj. As I said, it is time." "But... but... " "Woj, you have touched my heart in a way no one else could or ever will. But I am NOT ready to settle down. There are so many pretty boys out there Wozeck. Believe me. If the state were ok with a man having more than one boy, I would be reclaiming you. And if I did that, the implication would be , of course, that we would be coupling. And I'm not ready for that. So...." he smiled. "You've been studying French: "c'est la vie."
Wozeck specifically asked that they NOT celebrate his 20th birthday. He was so sad to be leaving Uri. Uri was dealing with it by ignoring him completely. Then one day, just like the first time, there was a ring at the door. Uri usually had a servant answer . This time, he practically galloped to open it. "MAX!" He sounded relieved. "You're right on time. That's late for you." Max laughed. "That's true. There was an early state meeting that went on and on and on. Sonia felt it was necessary to give background on every one of her points. " He paused. "So, where's my Wojee?" "Ha ha. I've never heard that nickname. ANGEL!!!!" Uri called into the bedroom, where Wozeck was sitting, trying unsuccessfully not to cry. Wozeck remembered his early training, stood up straight, and walked out. "I am here, Master Uri." "Wozeck, meet your new claimant. Do you remember him?" Wozeck did, but vaguely. There were always so many people at Uri's tables. "Yes, of course I do. It is good to see you again Sir. " Max laughed. "Wojee, if you don't remember my name, that's fine. It's Max." "I did not know if I had permission to use it, Sir Max. Shall I get my bags?" Max looked at Uri. "You sure didn't train him to be that polite. That's Vlad's work. Uri grinned. "You'll find out soon enough that I trained him well in ... other things." "Let's go get your bags together Wojee. By the way, is that name ok for you?" "I've never heard it before Sir." (Max was half American, half Russian, and had grown up in the United States, so he gave everyone a diminutive nickname.). "Well, maybe you'll get used to it, maybe you won't. I hope you'll get used to me." He paused for a minute and whispered to Wozeck "GOD, you're adorable." Wozeck blushed. "Let's go get your backs, sugarplum." "Sugarplum Sir? What is that?" "Ha ha. Something very sweet, and something very tasty. I will have Anna make them for you. For now, though, let us be on our way." Wozeck didn't look at Uri as he left. He knew it was rude but... this time, the leaving felt hurtful. When he heard Max's car pull away, Uri thought "Have I made a mistake?" Max drove his car himself, so he was pretty focused on the road. "You like that uniform, Woj?" "It's required Sir." "Not what I asked, and no it's not. Not with me. Would you rather wear the kind of clothes that Uri wears." "Well..., yes sir." "Ok, we'll see to that. " "But." Max sighed. "You know, you guys are great for doing what you're told, but you're trained never to question. These uniforms aren't required if you're not working for the state, and you're not going to." "I thought I would be sort of the houseboy I was for Masha and Serge Sir." Max laughed. "You were 16 years old Woj. And a virgin. Things change. Nah, you'll be working. I read your file. I'll introduce you to the folks at the translation and coding sector tomorrow." He paused. "By the way, Uri taught you how to take it up the ass, didn't he?" Wozeck blushed and paused. "Yes sir. I did almost every day." "GOOD. Then you'll be ready for mine. I'm not NEARLY as big as Uri, so you'll handle me well, but.... I'll bet you I'm WAY more interested in what you like than Uri was. Wozeck huffed and said nothing. Max paused, pulled the car over and stopped. "Woj, look at me. Please." Wozeck turned. Max saw that there were still tears in his eyes. "Listen, Wozeck. I KNOW that it was a very intense two years. Uri's like that. Is what he did to you wrong?" He shrugged his shoulders "Who knows? I doubt that you'd be happy with him for the long run. Will you be happy with me? I don't know. I hope so. I really, truly hope so. I hope that in four years we'll be signing the papers in a coupling ceremony, but none of us really know if we're going to be alive tomorrow. So make me a promise Wozeck. ALWAYS tell me the truth. ALWAYS. And I'll always do the same for you. And I PROMISE: I will do ALL I CAN to make you happy. " Then he stopped. "I'm afraid I can't do any better than that." Wozeck began to cry. "I'm sorry Sir Max. I'm sorry. This is embarrassing. It is so embarrassing. Uri hurt me. He did. " "Did you love him Woj?" Wozeck paused "Sir Max, I don't know." Max smiled. "Then you just answered a very good question, and I can give you some real good advice: NEVER cry like that if you're not sure you love someone. NEVER. No one is worth it. " He paused and patted, rather than squeezed Wozeck's thigh. "Now, we promised to tell each other the truth. Are you willing to give me a try?" Wozeck shrugged his shoulders. "I'm a pleasure prole. it's my duty Sir." "WOZECK! That is NOT what I asked. If you're not willing to give it a try, I'll start pulling some strings tomorrow, and we'll see about maybe finding some place for you as a single man, unattached. It's up to you." "You'd do that for me Sir?" "YEAH. Everyone deserves to be happy." Wozeck sighed. "I think you just told me everything Sir. I'm willing to try." "Six months, ok, Woj? And if it's not working, we'll figure something out." "Yes sir. " Wozeck smiled for the first time. "Now THAT makes me happy sugarplum. Speaking of... you hungry? You think you could eat some ice cream?" "I can always eat ice cream Sir. I just shouldn't." "PHEH. Today's a celebration. Let's stop and get some." After their treat they got to Max's home. "Now, how long did it take after you got to Uri's before he took you to bed?" "He showed me his house and then..." "I'll show you the house later. This way.." Max had promised Wozeck he would do his best to make him happy. He did. As he fucked Wozeck, he listened for every change in Wozeck's breath, and when he heard a sound of pleasure, he worked that spot. Max had been telling the truth when he said that he was not as big as Uji. Wozeck took him easily. But Max was much more "authentic" in his love making. He didn't talk much, but he smiled, and he growled, and he made Wozeck happy in bed. He fell asleep in Max's arms smiling. That's when Max started to cry.