WTF is this?
Goddamn, he was fine, as fuck, in his pics. He had blond hair, blue eyes, and rock-hard abs. He was twenty-one, and his cock was shaped like a pyramid. He said his name was Roman, and I wanted to do things to him that would make even Caligula blush.
I talked to him for ten minutes and hopped into my beater. My drawers were sticky and smelly from cruising the park, but I didn't care because I needed a taste of that Johnson of Adonis! Btw--ancient world bingo! Where's my goddamn prize?
I pulled up to his apartment complex. I went to his door and knocked, as my cock and eyeball twitched with anticipation.
Then he answered. Who the fuck is this? He looked similar to the pics, but this fool was an old fat ass. Don't get me wrong, I love some big boys and leather daddies, but Lordy, give me a mother fucking heads up.
I should've run or offed myself, but I entered anyway. Immediately, I see this Rottweiler sitting on a recliner, drinking Budweiser, smoking a joint, and scratching its balls. I asked, "Am I still high?"
Roman replied, "You're about to get higher on my cum."
"Okay, then, let's get on with this." We started walking to the bedroom, and he slapped me on the ass. I looked him in the eyes. "You just earned yourself an ass fucking, son!"
"Then I guess my ass is grass."
We entered the room and got naked. I said, "Get down and suck me dry, bubba blubber."
Suddenly, we heard the door bust down. "We're fucking dead!" Roman hollered for the whole complex to hear.
"What the fuck do you mean?"
"I fucked over the biggest cartel this side of the Rio Grande!"
I stared at him. "America?"
Within seconds, a group of masked men was waving guns in our faces. One guy was the size and shape of Dave Barista, a cross between Dave Bautista and the Starbucks mermaid. He cocked his head back. "You eat the ass?" he asked with a squeaky voice.
Roman trembled. "I eat the--"
"Shit!" I yelled. Everyone spun toward me. "I mean shit that this is even happening."
"Let me tell you how's this gonna go--" Dave started to say.
I stuck out my hand. "Wait, just a fucking minute!" I yelled.
"Yes, go on, hoss," Dave said.
"This website doesn't allow rape or violence."
Suddenly, the men took off their masks and put down their guns. "Better?" Dave asked.
"Much. I give consent," I replied and turned to Roman. "They have your consent?"
"They had my consent before they even broke down the door."
Within seconds, everyone was fucking each other like a pack of wild dogs. Remember the Barista from two seconds ago? Well, he was an Irish lad with red hair and orange freckles--orange, really? That fool did me in every position in the Kama Sutra. By the time he was done, I was pouring Niagara Falls of cum.
Meanwhile, the four others were fucking Roman. He sang, "Give, give, give, give me the dick."
And that's what the fuck they did.