Legend: Thoughts = <>
Stray thoughts = ()
Flashback **
Com links []
Ok, guys, All the disclaimers apply, that means all thanks goes to Marvel for the X-Men, I'm just making the story. And I do read all the other stories, and they're great, keep up the good work. They inspire me!
Chapter 33: "Honestly...I don't."
Scott [Angel, you got him?!]
Angel avoided fireballs and sighed to himself [Oh yeah, Cyclops he's right here. Right by my scorched wing! I'm trying.]
Scott [We're behind you, we should be here any minute.]
Angel rolled his eyes [Thanks.]
Angel looked back up and saw that Pane had disappeared. He stopped in mid-air and looked around.
Angel [Scott, I think I lost him.]
Angel looked up again and Pain floated in front of him.
" No..." I smiled, " You didn't."
Angel tried to fly, but his body was frozen.
" Don't try to move." I said softly, " You want to save yourself, right?" I smirked, running my fingers over his abs. They were so...lickable.
" What are you doing?" he asked.
I smirked, " You like this, don't you? Me rubbing on your stomach. Wonder why I never noticed you before." I said smiling at him.
" What?" he asked.
" Gosh, you got lost didn't you?" I smiled, " We could do it here, you know. In the air. I mean, I can feel you. I feel your thoughts..." I said, digging deeper.
" You're reading my mind?" he struggled, " who are you?" he asked.
I stopped rubbing his abs and floated backwards, " Dead." I said, disappearing from sight.
Angel began to fall and stopped himself by spreading is beautiful wings and the blackbird roared behind him.
Cyclops [Where is Pane?]
Angel [He's gone.]
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We were watching the 'Flavor of Love 2' marathon. While the others got a few laughs out of it, I got only a few. I had seen it. I loved the show once, but I was still on Angel's question. 'Who are you?'. I don't know. Since I came back or woke up or whatever, I felt like I didn't belong. Like there wasn't a place for me anymore. I felt like I was just saving space until it was time for me to die again. I couldn't go back to the Mansion...it was already too hard. I couldn't help thinking someone was punishing me for something...like this was hell and being here was different. Magneto, Mastermind, and Mystique were always gone and sometimes everybody left. It was only recently that I had gone on a mission with them and once again, we were on our own. Dominic (Avalanche), Fred (Blob), John (Pyro), Mort (Toad), Cain (Juggernaut), and Victor (sabretooth) were the only members there with me. It was weird because my first memories, if any, of these guys were fighting them. Okay, there was Dominic and John...they, umm...stuff.
" Hey, fix me a sandwhich." Avalanche demanded from the couch.
" Who do I look like? Bre Van De Camp?! Get it yourself!" I said as I went to get some juice.
The gang laughed.
Mort, or Mortimer, was watching 'Flavor of Love' and turned to me, " Oy, do all black people act like this?" he asked.
I turned to him, " No. And we're not black...ok, flav is, but it's african american and just like everyone else, we're all different." I said righteously.
" Oh..." Mort said, " I didn't mean ta..."
" It's okay. I know what you mean." I said, walking out of the room and upstairs to my room. I had my own room. I started out rooming with Toad, but I kept having nightmares and the nightmares made things float and slam...meaning, Toad floated and slammed. The house was big, but sorta run down.
" You know he didn't mean ta..." John said as he entered the room.
I turned and nodded at him, " I know." i said.
" He's just nervous that you're here." John said quickly, " We all are."
" I noticed." I said, looking out the window, " why?" I asked.
" Because, you died. And I saw the other you and...I don't know how to act around you." John said frustratedly.
" How about normal. Does normal work?" I asked.
" No, not lately." John said, " You're different."
" So everybody says." I snapped, " Maybe I am. But I've just been dead and..."
" And? What, and what?" he asked. I shook my head, " Look, I understand, I do. This is John you're talking to, not Pyro."
I leaned in and kissed him, " Thanks." I said softly.
He chuckled and scooted back.
" What?" I sighed.
" You're my boss' grandson." John smirked.
" And that's stopping you?" I asked.
" No." he said, " You're kinda weak right now and..."
My felt angry, " WEAK?! I can move galaxies!" I said loudly.
" Not what I meant." John said, " Vulnerable." he said walking to the door.
" So John has a conscience now?! You betrayed the X-Men and set fire to a public building, more than one." I said angrily. I was hurt that he rejected me, but that was no excuse.
John didn't say anything, he just left the room.
" I'm just dying to be here." I said to myself. I sat on the bed, then slowly laid back and dozed off.
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" So, how many times has he died?" Nightcrawler asked as he sat in the War Room with the rest of the team.
" Twice." Logan grunted, standing in the corner.
" Any ideas why?" Rogue asked.
" No, none at the time, but I have a feeling that the Phoenix may have had a role in it." Professor Xavier commented, " Also, Sinister is taking responsiblity for these actions as well."
" He knows something." Jean said, " Scott said..."
The room went still and everyone looked around. Logan looked around, then walked over and slammed his fist onto the table.
" Well, Slim is gone and we have a real problem now!" Logan growled," Pane needs our help."
" Are we completely sure that Pane is alive? I mean we buried him." Pyslocke asked, concerned.
" He's alive." Angel said quickly, " Maybe we need to check the grave."
" Maybe." Collosus said, " I will get to it." he said, standing and leaving.
" I'll help him." Shadowcat nodded, following him.
" I regret to tell you that Pane is not our only problem. Besides for rapid actions from the Brotherhood, there is a new threat. A threat that..." Professor said.
" ...Threatens ta destroy da worl'? Heard dat one before." Gambit said, twirling his card.
" This is worse, We know nothing about this threat." Jean said, " Nothing at all."
" Nobody knows nothing about 'em?" Logan asked.
" No." Professor said quickly.
" But we are doing everything possible to decipher their plans, Logan." Storm said, " I have spoken with a contact by the name of Black Panther and he is working on finding new information."
" Comforting, but while we're sitting on our asses, Pane, the Brotherhood, and a whole buncha bad people are out there." Logan said, " That and we're down one leader."
" I have brought in my daughter, I believe you know her. Dania Sharon Xavier." Professor said, " She knows little of what is going on. I expect to explain things when she gets here."
" You haven't told her?" Jean asked.
" No. And none of you will. I fully expect to have him home by then." Professor said, " I have word that Magneto and the Brotherhood are heading downtown. I expect the X-Men to be there and retrieve him."
" Dammit CHUCK! You're acting like he's a lost package! He's human. You messed with his mind and now he's pissed. He's pissed enough to kill you and you want us to bring him back to brainwash him?! I say he'll come when he's ready."
" That is enough Logan!" Storm said, standing.
" No, Ororo, I take full responsibility for altering his mind, but I want to help him...that's all I ever wanted to do. I feel guilty about..." Professor said.
" Oh, you feel guilty? This isn't about you!" Logan shouted.
" Logan. I understand. I truly do. But he is in dangerous hands." Professor sighed.
" Do ya hear yourself?! He's not an object. He's not your object." Logan said, storming from the room.
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Downtown, life went on, just like any other day. Late for work, getting coffee, hailing a cab. Outside, there was a memorial for Graydon. John took me into a resturaunt and I knew something they weren't telling me. I didn't care, I was great to have a change. I guess I was spaced out.
" A brave new world." John said.
I looked at him, " What?" I asked.
John looked out the window, " That's what he promised, a brave new world." John said, " We've done some bad things."
" Why do you hurt others?" I asked.
" They hurt me." John said slowly, " They're still trying."
" You wish for no one to hurt you, but you hurt others." I said, sipping my pop, " Not all of us are flame resistant."
" Us? Last I heard you..." John said, but he stopped.
I looked at him.
" But that wasn't you." John said quickly.
" You thought he was, everyone thought he was, so maybe he was." I said indifferently.
" You're angry that we didn't know?" John asked.
" No. I'm angry that they didn't know. I'm angry that I died and that I didn't stay dead." I said angrily, then I looked at him weakly, " And I'm sorry that someone had to die so I could live again."
" That wasn't your fault." John said, leaning forward.
" Then whose was it?" I asked.
" Do you truly believe that?" I asked.
" Yeah. You would never do that." John said.
I looked at him, " What am I?" I asked
" What?" John asked.
" I can feel your lust. I know that you are just saying what you think I wanna hear." I said.
" If that was true, then I wouldn't listen. I..." John said slowly.
I looked at him, tilting my head, reading his mind, " No. You don't." I said angrily, " You can't love me. You don't know who I am."
" Why do you keep saying dumb things like that?! I...I know you." John said angrily.
" You cannot even say it." I scoffed, " And I..."
" Why are you talking like that?" John asked, " You're trying too hard."
" I don't belong here!" I said, rising from the table, " Do you think any of this matters? NO! This is my hell...this is my punishment for whatever I did. I was so sure I was a good person. I tried to help. To save the world...but I guess that wasn't enough. I just wanted to rest. Don't I deserve to be there? Don't I deserve to be in heaven?! I'm stuck in this hell...forever. Trapped in this body with all this power. If I die, I go to a room full of white. That is the closet to heaven I'll ever get. When everyone is gone, I'll be here. Alone." I shouted, causing me people to look at me.
Outside the window, cars began to float from their positions and streetlights and trashcans and al sorts of things floated. There were screams and I felt the Earth shake under me. I looked to John.
" Where are the others?" I asked.
John shrugged and I stepped outside the resturaunt to see chaos! I walked further, past the bodies and the injured and I saw Magneto hovering high above the city. There was a guy holding a little kid's hand and wearing a button supporting Graydon Creed. I knew him, Senator Robert Kelly. Mystique and the rest of the Brotherhood were fending off sentinels. Magneto raised his hand and shot a hood from a car at him, but I stopped it just in time.
" Who..." Magento said, turning to see me. He sighed, " Let go."
" You first." I said, floating up to meet him.
" Pane, this is none of your concern." Magneto said, " These are the people who are making it hard for..."
" I know who he is. He's R.Kelly. He's pushing for that Mutant Control Act. That's his bad." I said.
" When did you gain your humanity. All the jobs I've had you doing were not simple and they were not...You are my grandson, you should share in my dream. I want you too. To accomplish the dream, you need to change." Magneto frowned.
It was then that I felt more confused than ever. I should let him, but if I do, it won't end. I hadn't killed anyone. Tortured a little, yeah, but not killed. I looked at Robert and caused the car roof to crumble.
" Maybe it's you who needs to change." I said quickly.
Just then more sentinels landed near us. I looked around to see wings flapping towards us and I knew in an instant that the X-Men were here.
" I know." Magneto said.
" You know what?" I asked.
" What he's not telling you...about the things you've done. What he did...can you let him do that to you again?" Magneto asked.
" What? I..." I stammered.
" He will, you know. To me you are a grown up, ready to make choices. To him, you're a weapons, living among less dangerous ones and he will do anything so that you won't have a choice." Magneto said with ease. I was silent, " You know what I'm getting at. I need his information. You will not be alone, I promise."
I looked at him and nodded.
" Be careful." he smirked, flying away.
I let go of myself and fell backwards. I was about to hit the ground when I felt someone save me. I opened my eyes to see Angel.
" Don't try to move." he smirked, " You wanna save yourself, right?"
" Honestly...I don't." I said, holding on.