Howdy to a new part of the series. I hope you are all enjoying the series as much as I am enjoying writing it.
DISCALIMER: If you are underaged or offended by m/m concepts please leave now, I'm not gettin my ass fried for you doing something illegal when I have told you to leave. All characters are part of my mind and bear no reflection on real people that may or may not exist. All songs belong to respective artists, all poems and some songs are mine. If you want to use them if you just ask and give me a reason I will more than likely agree, all you have to do is be polite and ask.
Stories I recommend:
Jamie's Romance - (boy-bands) Justin from Nsync and a guy called Jamie. Brilliantly written and well crafted story. I love it.
Garden of Song - (boy bands) One of the stories I am writing. Savage Garden story mainly revolving around Daniel Jones and a guy called Dan.
JC Dreams - (boy-bands) This is one of my many series at the moment. It is another Nsync story that involves JC and Tony (a non-celeb).
Black the Promise - (boy bands) yet again Nsync... this time JC and Justin. Figured time to join the crowd of stereotypes. I'm writing this one by the way.
Nsync with my Premonitions - (boy-bands) JC again and it is a great story.
Brandis Redemption - (celebrity) yet another way cool story which I am totally loving. By the way, can we have it updated soon? PLEASE!
Search and Rescue - (boy bands) a fan-bloody-tastic JC story... just needs to updated! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
Unconditional Love - (boy bands) fan-taby story that involves Lance from Nsync, paired with Mark (non-celeb). So many warm and touching moments... so many humourous as well! It's all good.
Feedback: heartmindsoulau@hotmail.com heartmindsoulau@yahoo.com ICQ# 104300787 (Sun Child)
I also have yahoo and MSN Messangers through the above emails should you wish to add or contact me through them.
Authors Words:
Thanks to all those who have been writing in, I'm glad that I have been able to provide a story for your enjoyment. DaBeagle... thanks for promoing my story in your newletter thing... I've still gotta read yours... will get there one day. Ian... your emails and jokes make it all bareable (and laughable). Also, all of my series at the moment
Well, I suppose you want me to start the story now huh. Okay, well here we go, thanks for taking the time to read this. SC.
Here we go:
Yesterday's Child 8 by Sun Child
Nick and I eventually made it back home and collapsed onto his bed. I lay there then suddenly cuddled into Nick. I think this kinda took him by surprise.
"You okay Jess?"
"Yes.. no.. I don't know anymore."
"Why, what wrong?"
"I just buried my father. I didn't even cry over it, I only cried when I got a friend, brother back. I stood there watching him being lowered into the ground and I realised something. I never got to have a father. I had someone who had sex with my mother. He never held me in his arms and said that he was proud of me. All he could do was look at me then look the other way. I want a father Nick. I've never had one and I want one. I was never lucky enough to have a father who loved me." With that, I felt the tears begin to fall. The first tears I had truly shed over my father. Even then, they weren't tears because he was gone. They were because I was hurt. I buried my face in Nick's chest and sobbed. I don't know how long I cried, but I didn't even hear the knock at the door and Caleb's entry. I didn't hear or feel him sit down beside me on the bed. I didn't feel him start to rub my back and try to calm me. All I could do was lie there and cry. All the years of hurt and pain flowed up to the surface and just fell out of me.
After what seemed like hours but was probably only half an hour, if that, I stopped crying and lifted my head. I found Nick there still holding me but I also felt an extra pair of hands rubbing my back. I looked over my shoulder. There on the bed beside me sat Caleb. I had never been so glad to see him, on the same hand, I was extremely embaressed he had seen me this way. I ducked my head a little and Caleb smiled.
"It's okay Jess, we're brothers remember. We see each other at the best or worst times. How many times have you helped me when I've been a mess like this?"
"That's different. I'm meant to be stronger or something. I'm not meant to be weak and fall apart like this. I'm sorry you saw this, both of you." The next thing I knew, I was being sandwiched between Caleb and Nick and being held tight. Both of them loving and caring for me, maybe in different ways, but they were there and I needed them.
After that afternoon, things got better for me and Caleb. I felt better now that I had gotten everything about my father off my chest. A few days later, I was sitting at the piano and playing a song when Nick got home from work. Caleb followed him in and I looked up at them.
"Hey guys." I guess there was a sad tone or something in my voice because both their faces clouded over.
"Hey Jess. You okay?" Asked Nick sitting beside me on the piano bench.
"Yeah, I've been here writing a song. It's kinda down though." Nick nodded.
"Wanna play it for us?" I shrugged slightly and placed my fingers on the keys. I started to play. The intro was delicate and sad.
Whatever I touch
Seems to fall and die
It's a burden too much
I can't help but cry
Save nothing strong
Feel all and weak
For my touch's life long
I would even be meek
Lost far from now
Having fear to touch
It'll wither and die somehow
It's all too much
Help me Lord
I can't cope anymore
My life is flawed
I can't deal like I did before
Towards the end my voice started to crack but I played on and when I finished I looked at the other two. Nick grabbed me and pulled me close. I put my head on his shoulder and let tears slide down my face.
Later on that night, Nick and I were alone in his room and I looked at Nick.
"Thanks for being here for me babe."
"No problems." He smiled at me.
"Nick, I've got to tell you something." Nick instantly went cold.
"What would that be?"
"I need to tell you, I love you Nick. That's how I've made it through all this." Nick looked at me with shock on his face.
"What? You don't want me to love you?"
"No, it's not that... I just didn't expect it that's all." Nick admitted. "I love you too Jess, it's taken me a while to realise it, but I love you more than I care to admitt."
"It's been a long time since I've loved like this and I love you Jess. Don't ever EVER doubt it." I looked into Nick's eyes and smiled a little.
"I won't ever doubt it Nicky, I won't ever doubt it." With that I let my eyes slide shut as I cuddled into him again.
The weeks passed and I ended up selling my father's place. Anna went to live with her grandparents, a few blocks from Nick's. I continued on living with Nick and his mother. Caleb was a great kid when he was visiting his father and then Caleb, my dear brother Caleb, he was just as good. It was confusing at times with having two Caleb's in the house at once. We ended up to calling the younger Caleb, Cal. Horrible bastardisation but it worked.
The weeks continued to drift by and slowly I started to feel better. There was still a lingering sadness though. I don't know why, I was never close to my father. I had been forced to grow up when mom left. Dad had given up on me and Anna when she left so I was forced to take on the roll of mother and father on my own. Dad was no help with bringing Anna up. At times I was ready to give up but I always carried on, for Anna and I guess for me as well. It was hard to do a lot of the time but I managed. When she left I was only ten. I Anna was seven. With both grew up relying on each other and at the same time being independant. So many fond memories. So many, probably more harsh memories of growing up. That's basically all there was now, memories. I had been talking to my grandmother a few days previous and she was surprised at just how independant Anna was. She got everything on her own. I beamed with pride as she told me. My grandmother looked at me questioningly.
"It means I raised her well." I explained.
"Don't you mean your father?" She asked.
"No, he kinda left me and Anna to fend for ourselves when mom left. I couldn't just leave a seven year old to look after herself." I told her. With that the topic became ragged and changed.
The days went by and soon we were on the last day of school before summer holidays. By now, most people at school knew about me and Nick, through rumours or admittance, but most of them knew. We had a few who tried to take us on but we managed to pass it all. The day was light hearted, all exams were finished, essays handed in and life moving on. That night, there was the school dance. Nick and I had decided to go as a couple. Caleb and Anna were back together, with my blessing this time and we decided to double date and all go together. Walking in we got a few stares as though questioning us being there. Nick and I just ignored them and Anna and Caleb stood beside us. The lights dimmed and the music started a short time later. It was fun. The music mix was different. It was special as well. Especially when they played 'Let Love Lead the Way'. Nick and I walked onto the floor and started to slow dance and the crowd seemed to fall off the floor until there was just the pair of us.
What makes this world go round
Will the answer let her down
She is so sweet and young
And her life has just begun
What does her future hold
That's a story left unknown
Will she make it through her day
Let our love lead the way
"Nick, they've all left the floor, no one else is dancing." I whispered in Nick's ear.
"Well that's their lose isn't it. If they aren't good enough for us to be happy then there's no reason we should be happy for them." He whispered back in my ear.
Part of me laughs
part of me cries
Part of me wants to question why
Why is there joy
Why is there pain
Why is there sunshine and the rain
One day you're here
Next you are gone
No matter what we must go on
Just keep the faith and
Let love lead the way
Everything will work out fine
If you let love
Love lead the way
Sitting there all alone
In the window of her room
Watching the world go by
Brings tears to her eyes
All she sees is hurt and pain
And she wants to break the chain
She'll keep pressing every day
And she'll find her own sweet way
Looking to my left, I saw Anna and Caleb walk onto the floor.
"Can't leave you two alone out here." Anna said to us. We both smiled and kept on dancing.
"My brother and brother-in-law needed support and I promised I would support." Caleb told us. "So here we are." Caleb and I looked at each other and smiled.
"Thanks Caleb. Thanks Kitty Cat." I said. With that we all continued dancing.
Part of me laughs
part of me cries
Part of me wants to question why
Why is there joy
Why is there pain
Why is there sunshine and the rain
One day you're here
Next you are gone
No matter what we must go on
Just keep the faith and
Let love lead the way
Slowly more and more people started to return to the floor, none danced next to us, but they were more all standing around in a ring watching us. I put my head on Nick's shoulder and he rested his head on mine. It was a bold and daring move, I don't know what possessed me to do it and him to respond, it would only create problems in the end, but we did it.
You can be all that
And she can be who you are
You've got to know for sure
That this ain't make believe
You may feel weak
But you are strong
Don't you give up girl
If you keep holding on
You'll never be wrong
Just close your eyes
Cos it lies deep in your heart
Part of me laughs
part of me cries
Part of me wants to question why
Why is there joy
Why is there pain
Why is there sunshine and the rain
One day you're here
Next you are gone
No matter what we must go on
Just keep the faith and
Let love lead the way
Looking out, I saw the crowd just watching us. I looked over at Anna who was giving people the evil eye.
"Kitty Cat, leave them be, if they want to cause problems then just let them... we're here to enjoy ourselves, not to worry about them." I told her. She nodded and snuggled into Caleb who kissed her on the top of the hair and held her close.
Part of me laughs
part of me cries
Part of me wants to question why
Why is there joy
Why is there pain
Why is there sunshine and the rain
One day you're here
Next you are gone
No matter what we must go on
Just keep the faith and
Let love lead the way
Everything will work out fine
If you let love
Love lead the way
Love lead the way
Love lead the way
Love lead the way
When the song finished, I looked at Nick.
"Shall we let the others have their dance floor back?" He nodded and we walked off the dance floor. That's probably when the most magical part happened. The crowd began to clap. I don't know who started it. They applauded as we left... whether they were applauding our courage or the fact that we were leaving, I'm not sure. It will probably be the part the remains in my memory the longest. The crowd just applauding us as we walked off the dance floor. It was heart warming and lifting. That people would do that for us... I was amazed.
Sitting down Nick and I started to talk, holding our drinks. After a while, Jasmine, a friend of mine approached.
"Hey Jess."
"Hi Jas, how are ya?" I asked.
"Not bad, mind if I join you too?" I motioned for her to take a seat.
"Jess, I've got to apologise for not being the friend you needed when everything was happening. I wasn't there for you when your father died. I wasn't there for you at the funeral. In short, I wasn't there. I'm really sorry." I nodded.
"It's okay Jas. I understand you were a little shocked and probably scared."
"Well yeah, but that's no excuse, I should have been there for you and I wasn't ... that's wrong of me Jess. I'm a friend and I should have." I nodded, not sure of what to say.
"Well Jas." I started. "Why don't we just call it yesterday and party on in the land of tomorrow." Jasmine smiled and nodded. She then looked at Nick then back at me.
"Jess, are you happy?"
"Happier then I have been in a long time Jas." She nodded then turned to Nick.
"Are you happy?" Nick nodded. She then looked at both of us.
"Well, I don't see a problem with it then. I'm glad you both have each other." I nodded and smiled.
"Let's go party hey." I said. With that all three of us got up and went to the dance floor and danced for the rest of the night.
Geting home later, Nick and I collapsed on the bed. I was lying there when he looked at me.
"Tonight was amazing wasn't it." He breathed. I nodded.
"When they all applauded. I was so amazed. It was magical almost." I told him. He looked at me and agreed. He then rolled over and straddled my waist.
"I love you Jess. I know I haven't said it yet, but I do. I love you." I leant up and kissed him.
"I love you too Nick. I love you more than anything, you are my world. I didn't believe I could love this much, but I do. Your loving me makes me love you more. It's magical and special and sacred to me." I told him. He pushed me back down on the bed and started to undo my shirt. I looked at him.
"Nick, please don't spoil tonight and want sex. Not tonight, I mean, it would be nice but it would be an anti-climax."
"Jess, I agree it would be, but undressing eachother is just as magical. To hold each other undressed for the entire night. That is the magical and sensual complete to the night. Completely non-sexual." I nodded and he finished undressing me. I then undid his shirt for his and pushed it off his shoulders. I then sat up and left him sitting on my legs. I kissed him on the lips then let my mouth wander down. I soon hit a soft part of the neck and started to suck gently. When I was sure I had left a mark, I let my lips move to his shoulders while I undid his belt, clasp and fly. I then lay down, pulling him down with me so he was lying on top of me, his lips back on mine. I then used my legs to push down his pants. I then reached down and pushed his boxers down a bit with my hands and then right off with my feet in the same fashion. We then lay there, naked to each other and held each other. Before drifting off to sleep I whispered to him.
"I love you Nick."
"I love you too Jess. I love you too."
Well for once I'll leave you cliffhanger-less. Don't get too used to it though. I hate these clean cut chapter endings, but this was the perfect way to end the chapter. Maybe even the series. What do you think? Let me know.
-
Touch (To Die) - mine.
-
Let Love Lead the Way - Spice Girls. It's a sweet song that couldn't have described the feelings between the two better if they had tried. Available on the 'Forever' album.
Well thanks for the support in the preperation for this chapter. All appreciated.
Keep safe. Hugs kisses and cookies. SC.