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YOU KNOW HE'S SUB, DON'T YOU? - PART 89
Second book : YOU BELONG TO JOBAL PART 36 - starting again
Po looked up from his phone like it was all nothing, like he was waiting for a bus, and like it didn't matter what we had been doing or anything. He had been listening to something on his earpods. "Yeah? Everything ok?" he said; politely enough, but not smiling.
Christopher put his arm around my waist and gave me a hug and a little kiss. Then he slid his arm up to my neck and reached round to my chin and put his fingers in my mouth and played with my tongue like that.
"More than ok," he said. "That's what I call well trained. Money well spent. That's Urib's training I can see there; yours as well. Good man. I like the way you're approaching this. Stretching his limits. I mean the big corporal punishment thing is big plus because he's clearly frightened, clearly willing to do anything to avoid another punishing. Aren't you? Don't answer that. See? He's obedient and scared but he's also willing and really tries everything to give full satisfaction. Full marks! No really. Gold star to you, Po, yeah?"
"Fair enough," said Po without getting all enthusiastic. Po had a hard on and he was stroking it in his pocket. So I knew he was thinking about it.
"Yeah good as gold. You properly screwed him up; a good workover makes for good behaviour, good compliance; cooperative, friendly ... good as gold. Couldn't do enough for me. Couldn't get enough. What's nice about a solid merciless beating is it makes for a much better service subsequently. Naturally it does. So thank you for sorting that. Gold star."
Po smiled, like not warmly, but just enough. "Yeah well you were in there long enough, so I imagined it must be going well."
All through this I was standing looking straight ahead with Christopher's arm round me, stroking me and squeezing me and playing with my mouth, my hands still taped together and in front of me. "Changing the subject a bit, you do know that room stinks of piss yeah? Needs a thorough spring-cleaning, you know, before anything else ... though some clients like it ... but, you know, even so ..." He gave me a pat. "Little job for you," he smiled.
"Sorry about that," said Po. His face had changed: not happy.
"Yeah, normally I'd say leave it but it smells like a roomful of YMCA faggots in there, like a barnfull of cats on heat!" He chuckled.
Po looked sort of strange, like he was embarrassed but angry and like, well you know how it is: 'my fault!', wasn't it? All over again. "Sorry about that, said Po, again.
But I was so shocked! I thought I DID clean up! Everything! and like it was neat and tidy and smelt of flowers and laundry but when I realised what he was saying - that I'd fucked it up - I was like, 'No-oo! It's starting all over again!', I fell to the floor and slid into Urib's Worship position, just sort of despair flooding my head like I was suddenly drowning!
"I told you to clean everything," Po said sternly.
"There's not much point to it if it isn't getting the basics, is there? Like housework," said Christopher.
Po said, "You're right. You're so right. I'm going to have to do something about this."
And I was like immediately my blood was running cold and I was shaking.
"You do know what this means ..." Po added, tapping my leg with his foot.
And I thought 'No. No-o! No more punishment! I can't take any more!'
But I nodded. But I said "Yes Sir. I'm sorry Sir."
But I thought, 'This is never going to stop!'
But then I said, "Yes Sir thank you Sir. I have to be punished please Sir punish me please Sir I have been useless Sir I deserve it Sir."
But I was crying and shaking, face to the floor, and they could both see it. It was like I was begging them to not hurt me, and I was thinking, 'No ... don't hurt me again ... I literally can't take it. I'm literally scared. I'm literally scared. I can't take any more! I can't do this! I can't take any more! Please ... can't you just forgive me and let me be just go on and like try to do better or like next time not fuck up or something? Can't you just let me try to make it right? Can't you cut me some slack for once? Can't you give me a second chance? Can't you? For FUCKSSAKE! Please! Please! Please! Don't beat me! I can't take any more! Honestly! Please don't beat me!'
But I said, "Yes please Sir, I deserve it Sir, I deserve it!" and I crawled forward and found Po's feet and I put my face on his beautiful toes and I was like kissing like desperately trying to beg him; but beg him for what?
But I was thinking, 'Please don't hurt me Po, please don't hurt me!'
But I said, "Yes Sir I beg you to punish me please Sir I beg you Sir please Sir I beg you Sir pl!"
Funny, isn't it.
Isn't it funny? I mean, like "Man he's so good, the way he begs," joked Christopher, and he was right. I was, like, this joke - but
I mean, yeah?, why didn't he mention it earlier, like the smell on the bed? Why did he leave it to now, AFTER we just spent like ages fucking and screwing and fooling around on, on it if the smell was that bad? It's like: they was just looking for excuses, to hurt me, to like it was the only thing that turned them on and gave them pleasure.
"I think he's crying. Is he crying? How sweet ..." said Christopher, cruelly.
And that's when I began to think, 'They literally don't think; they literally don't care about how I'm feeling!'
"STOP snivelling!" Po ordered, "Stop it! You're only making matters worse. You're only making it worse with your pathetic crying all the fucking time. Fuck sake. Where's my strap?"
'This is never going to end,' I thought.
"I said, where's my strap? For fucks sake!"
"I'll get it Sir I'm sorry Sir I'll get it Sir!" I said suddenly panicked and I was thinking, 'Am I really going to have to go through this? I - I can't!'
"Stop!! Stay there," said Po. "That's for later."
"Look much as I'd love to stop and watch you two having fun, I've got business," said Christopher.
"HOLD IT! STAY THERE!" Po ordered quickly - to me, obviously. "Yeah, course we can do that later course. After you're gone."
"It's a learning curve, isn't it," said Christopher. "But you got to be unwavering. For as long as it takes. I'd, Ok, I'd like to stay and watch but I've got stuff to attend to so right now I'll be off. Excellent stuff," he said. "I'm going to recommend to Jobal cause he needs to be farmed out. He's hot all right, so, already. I'd say. He isn't marked. That needs to be done immediately. Look at that cunt!"
He kicked my exposed anus playfully.
"I was preparing him," said Po.
"No need. He's ready. He's look, he's good. He's done. Look at him. Spot on. Just what we like to see. Look at him! He's completely done! Dumb cunt. Look at him. Dumb as a table! And cunt like that. Pure pleasure. Look at it. Snivelling wreck. Perfect. We need to start using absolutely, absolutely immediately. Like tonight. We need the money. Pity he isn't marked. What's the hold up?"
Po hesitated and didn't answer.
"Get Akim ready to sort it out. Asap. You got Akim's contact details. I'm going to tell Jobal he's ready and then we can go. He'll be in touch."
Po didn't say anything.
"Po ... are you listening? This is your job. You need to exploit this. You do know that."
"Yeah, I know," said Po. "I'll, I'll contact Akim soon as."
"Do you want me to do it?"
"No I'll do it."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I'm sure."
"And get that smell out. Ok. I'm off."
It was like they was talking about someone else, not me; some numpty dope sex slave they had somewhere, but not me. But also I knew it was me they was talking about. And somewhere in my head I knew this was like the final step, this mark-up where I would become a piece of property and nothing else that had ever happened in my life would matter. Ever. Again.
I thought, like, yeah, this is it! But that's all. I don't know why, but it didn't seem to matter. And I was proud and excited and I thought, like, yeah, this is what I want! This is what I have become - like this is what I have achieved and this is what I am, completely, this sub who like everybody uses. Like that's what was all I wanted.
All I wanted.
So this is it.
Christopher turned the door-latch and opened it.
It would soon be night time.
Outside, the crow went, 'KrKraghK'.
That crow bird.
'KrKraghK KrKraghK'
It's a well known meaning: the summer's ending - ending and they know it: the start of shorter days. Countless summers turn into endless winters and they make like this 'KrKraghK' noise cause it means the longer nights are starting again.
I waited quietly for Po to return.
I could feel my anus, sore and throbbing, and every muscle in my body, and the tears on my face pressed into the cold floor. I knew, I knew Po was going to beat me, he was going to tie me up and strap me the moment Christopher was out of the flat and I'd be screaming like anything and, like this was my life. This was my life, to serve Superior Men, and to be used, hurt, whatever.
That fucking crow stuck on the balcony flapped off to tell someone else. It would be dark soon, and if the clouds didn't cover it, all the stars would start to shine - so many stars in the sky like me, just all alone, like the black crow; make a noise, and then I'll be gone too. Life is too short to suffer. But I don't have any choice. The wings of the crow cover the sky; you wouldn't know, but where are the stars? Where are the lives that that no one ever knows?
But you know my story isn't over yet.
I heard Po say, "Thanks," and the door click shut again.
I could hear his footsteps.
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END OF YOU KNOW HE'S SUB, DON'T YOU? - PART 89