Young Volcanoes Chapter 14
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Young Volcanoes
~ by Billy Wright ~**
Sorry for the month and a half wait, turns out moving from your hometown to a bigger city isn't as easy as you'd expect. I'm keeping up with my studies too and that takes time away but hey, no way I'm going to leave this story unfinished. I appreciate all the emails I got in the mean time. If you have something to say, I'm all ears, and thank you for your patience:
billy.alexander.wright@gmail.com
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Chapter 14
Fuck Up part 2 (Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds)
You stand up, looking at the window, ready for the sunrise. "What did he took?"
I stand up and follow you. "Well...he took my phone but it's a little hard to describe."
Across the big living room windows, both you and I stare at the sky as it slowly starts to change from soft blue into yellow and orange. The big silhouettes of mountains in the distance start taking shape as the sun appears from inside them. The fields, houses, trees, and cars are now all illuminated by the glorious first rays of the sun. The morning has finally arrived.
You tap on my shoulder as we both walk through the living room out into your terrace once again. Even though I was here just a few hours ago, now that the sun is shining it all looks different: the bonfire, the couches, the empty glasses...
Beyond, a new sun is being born. Just the tip, for now, but enough to make me self-conscious about wearing nothing but my boxer briefs. Still, I make an effort not to care. I look to the sides and find that the neighbor's houses are closer than I had imagined. Maybe one of them saw what happened at the pool. Maybe one of them is looking at me right now, almost naked, in your backyard.
For some reason, I like that thought. Me being with you. Of course, as I've been saying all night, that is something I would never tell you.
"So," you continue after a moment, taking a seat on the terrace. "Your big fuck up moment. Armando took your phone, what then?"
I stare at you in silence. I can't believe that. Even though I've been building towards this the whole night, it is still hard for me to say. Yet, I give it a go. I sigh, let my arms down and start the story.
"Remember I mentioned that a few days before going to the Taco Place, I went to Buch's house to get answers?"
You nod, unconvinced.
"Well, I didn't get any answers. Not because I asked the wrong questions but... at the moment, there was something else on my mind."
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"What the hell is that?" I say, looking confused at my friends.
I was sitting on Buch's bed, Captain was standing by the bedroom door while Buch was trying to put music on the TV. I went there with the intention of talking about Armando but as soon as I arrived, Captain started showing off a paper brown bag as if it had a diamond inside.
I wasn't stupid, I remembered that brown bag from Halloween. When I was in Captain's room his brother used it to blackmail him, yet neither of them said what it had inside.
"You don't know?" Buch turned to me, surprised. "Oh, sister. I sometimes forget you are more innocent than you look."
"This is something I've been saving for a while," Captain mentioned, throwing the bag to Buch. "And, dude, I've had this for at least 8 months now. I say it's fair time we use it."
Buch grabbed the bag and smiled at it. I was starting to get annoyed. "So neither of you is going to tell me what is in it?"
They both looked at me, screaming really? with their eyes.
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"Okay, I get it," you say, shaking your head. "We both know what was inside the bag. Most teenagers do it, you know? At least once, I mean. Or at least that is how it happened in my experience. Although it was illegal back then, you know?"
"But it is legal now," I reply. "So it doesn't matter. Besides, I really was confused. It was the first time I had seen it, let alone tried it."
"Oh, so you did try it?" You ask, suddenly curious.
"I did," I try not to feel too proud or too ashamed about it. "I... actually don't remember the thing we were celebrating or the occasion of why we were doing it. Maybe it was a birthday? I don't know, it doesn't matter. The point is I did it."
"You baked it, or..."
"We smoked it. They had some Sherlock Holmes pipes, it was actually funny," I say, seeing the sunrise more and more, over the horizon. "I don't know if you've ever smoked before. I don't think I ever saw you smoking."
"I used to smoke cigarettes," you mention. "But not anymore."
"So healthy of you," I notice you made no mention of grass, just tobacco. "Well, that was my first time and I can tell you it isn't as easy as it looks. Or maybe it was me, I don't know. But I was terrible at it."
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"Dude, it's not a straw, don't suck it," Buch laughed as he watched me take a hit. "Here, look at me, see how I do it."
I must've looked at him at least three times before I finally got the hang of it and even after I got it, I wasn't a pro. Meanwhile, Captain stayed silent, looking at us. Buch had put on a ten-hour-long music video on the TV with colorful images. I didn't see the point in doing that but they were the experts.
We all sat on the bed, waiting, looking at the ceiling, and listening to music. I was actually getting a little bored. "How long does it take? Is it one of the fast ones or..." Buch asked, turning towards Captain.
"Just give it time," he said before moving to the window. "Oh, I brought some candy bags, I left them in the car. We can go get them if you want."
"After it kicks in," Buch said, still laying on the bed. "It will taste so much better then."
"Then what do you want to do while we wait?"
"Oh, I actually wanted to tell you something," I said, realizing I had been quiet all that time. "It's rather serious... well, I don't mean bad but it... it's important, it matters to me. So, please, take that into account."
Buch and Captain exchanged looks before both nodded. I took that as a good sign so I moved into a more comfortable position.
"Okay, so... I take it you remember Armando, right?" That was the worst first line I could've chosen because, as soon as I said it, both Captain and Buch gave me knowledgeable smiles.
"Not our proudest moment but sister, you were head over heels for that guy," Buch said innocently, for my sake. "What happened to him in the end? You never told us."
"He brought Johnny flowers," Captain replied. "Well, at least I told him to do so. You never told me what happened after that."
"Yeah, he gave me flowers. But, actually, what I wanted to tell you is that..." the words got stuck in my throat. I took a deep breath before carrying on. I closed my eyes and, finally, I said: "he and I are kinda dating now. No, not kind of. We are dating now. Well, not dating. He is my boyfriend."
Captain and Buch looked at each other. They were about to open their mouths but before they did I added:
"And we wanted to invite you two to go grab a bite sometime, the four of us." I was handling things in the poorest way possible. Yet, I was being honest. "You know, because you are my friends."
I shut my mouth and waited. I wasn't sure what their reaction was going to be. Yeah, they were my friends and all but the nerves made me imagine all kinds of horrible scenarios. From the very worst to the terrible ones. Needless to say, I was lost with them. Yet, it was all in my mind because as soon as they spoke, they said:
"Of course, sister," Buch nodded with a smile.
"Sure," Captain raised his shoulders.
"I still haven't decided when or where so I'll let you know," I said out of nowhere. Was Armando really making me that nervous? I had no idea but I could feel the awkwardness in the air so I added: "I'm getting hungry. I need real food. We should go get that candy from Captain's car."
Captain gave me a weird look. "You think candy is real food?"
"Or we can cook something if you prefer," I said, pointing to the kitchen.
"Or order something," Buch intervened.
Captain shrugged. "Let's just go get the candy."
Captain wasn't joking. In his car, he had three bags, three enormous bags full of candy. He gave Buch one, took one and gave me the other but when I tried to hold it I found it was heavier than it looked so it fell to the ground. In unison, both Captain and I crouched to pick it up. That is when we noticed the tire in Captain's car.
"Dude, what happened to your tire?" I said, looking at it.
"What do you mean?" Captain turned his head and gave it a confused look.
"Look," I pointed at a spot near the top. There was a strange lump. "What is that?"
"It looks like a nail," Buch said, crouching too. "That is definitely a nail, sister. Did you drive through a construction site? Or someone hates you?"
"No one hates me, I'm not you. Besides, that is not a nail, that's..." Captain reached out and passed his hands over the lump, feeling it.
"Uhum?" I insisted. "Tell us, if that's not a nail what is it?"
"It doesn't feel like a nail." He said, touching it. I stretched my hand and felt it too. It felt weird, the smell of tires always reminded me of plastic. I didn't like it. Buch then reached out and touched it too.
The three of us were trying to decipher what was that when suddenly Buch stood up in the middle of the sidewalk. "Guys, did it kick in?"
Captain started laughing. "We've been touching a tire and talking about a nail for the last five minutes. What do you think?"
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"Yeah, you sound like a first-timer."
"I was," I say, trying not to take it personally. "The three of us came back into Buch's apartment and locked ourselves in his bedroom. We were listening to the music and eating the candy when... it kicked in. Fully. You know how it feels, right?" I look at you, trying to catch you with your guard down, insisting on finding the answer.
You don't reply, just stare at me with stern eyes.
"Okay, sorry I asked," I moved a little. "So, let me tell you how it felt... it was like... I happened like John Green said: slowly and then all at once. Soon, I could feel everything. People react differently but I felt in my tongue first, it was asleep. Then I felt as if the whole world was moving slightly."
I try to move my hands to create a better picture. The memory of it is so vivid yet distant at the same time. Yet, I do what I can.
"Suddenly, it became really hard to keep track of time. I may be a little bit paranoid but to me, it felt as if I was trapped in a lucid dream."
"A dream?" you ask.
"Yeah, that's how it felt, like a dream. Like a series of dreams. I would start floating and my mind would just focus on the most mundane things. But, every once in a while, I'd regain momentary conscience and escape the dream. In those moments, my mind would work again but my body would fall asleep so there was nothing I could do."
"So, what? You spent the entire day laughing at a wall?"
I shake my head. "When I took two beers, I jerked Buch off on his bed. When I got wasted at Halloween I gave Captain a bj. What do you think happened when I got high?"
"Really? But there were..."
"Three of us? I know," I say, interrupting you. "It started because Buch made me and Captain confess what had happened at Halloween. We told him the story about what happened. I don't know why but we did. Buch was laughing the whole time."
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"Wait," Buch raised his hands, he could barely keep his eyes open. "So, if you two kissed and Morgan and I used to date that means..." he turned towards Captain. "You have kissed both of us!"
That, for some reason, was extremely hilarious. "So it turns out Buch isn't the fuck boy here," I said, joking but Captain pushed me. I fell from the bed and the three of us started laughing again.
"So, was it good?" Buch asked Captain, eating candy. "Is Johnny a good kisser?"
"Ah," Captain didn't know what to say. His eyes seemed unable to focus on anything until he settled on Buch. "You were better," he said then. I complained but neither of them heard me. "You kiss really well, Buch. You may date a boy every week but you definitely know how to kiss."
That was a really big pink flag but I was high so my brain didn't register it. I'm not even entirely sure that's how the conversation happened, only that, a second later, Buch was crawling through the bed, towards me.
I stretched my hand thinking he was going to help me stand up but instead, I found his lips touching mine. I was surprised at first so I stayed still but, soon enough, it felt like an infinity kiss. The days passed, the hours moved and the century came and went, all that while Buch's lips were against mine. I could feel his every move, every inch of my lips he covered. It was infinity itself on my lips and infinity tasted like candy.
When he stepped away, I opened my eyes -never realizing I had closed them- and saw him smile, half there, half somewhere else.
"It wasn't bad," Buch said, "it was good, actually. It may be my crazy brain talking but god it felt very good."
"He says I'm good," I repeated then, turning towards Captain. He was serious, jealous even. For some reason, the image of him dressed as a cowboy popped up in my head. God, he looked so good. "Maybe you need a reminder."
He didn't move. He didn't move, or pushed me away or anything. Captain just stayed there, looking at me as I slithered towards him. He stayed still as I grabbed his face with my hands and he didn't move while my mouth approached his. Yet, as soon as our lips met, he started devouring me. I could feel his lips tightening against mine, his hand on the back of my head, pushing me against him.
Then, we were back in his room. We were dressed in our Halloween costumes once more. I was a sailor and he was a cowboy. I had a boat like no other, he was mounting a pure-blood steed. We were so thirsty, so hungry... so we devoured each other.
"My mouth is dry," I said out loud as soon as we parted our lips.
"Here," Buch gave me a glass of water almost immediately. He had just appeared out of nowhere, in half a second. "Drink. There's nothing worse than having a cottonmouth."
I had no idea what he was talking about but my lips felt immediately better after that glass of water. Now my mind was clear.
"Captain," I said out loud after putting down the glass. "Captain is."
There was a moment of silence before Buch exploded in laughter. "Captain is!" He repeated, his hands against his stomach. I stared at him so confused and lost before getting it and bursting with him.
Captain stared at us, completely perplexed, chuckling a little. "What are we laughing about?"
"We... we..." Buch could barely breathe. "You are worse! Get it? Johnny said his mouth was dry and I gave him that glass of water, and then I said there is nothing worse than having a cottonmouth, and Johnny drank his glass in one go and then he said..." Buch closed his eyes, laughing with a high pitch. "He said Captain! He said you are worse than cottonmouth!"
Captain gave us an annoyed gesture but Buch's dying dog laughter was so contagious he couldn't help but join us.
"No!" I shoute then. Was I speaking nonsense? I didn't want my friend to feel bad so I replied in a this is rather obvious voice tone: "Captain is a better kisser. That's what I was trying to say!"
"What?" Buch made a really funny expression. His face was full of disbelief but the smile on his lips made it impossible for me to take him seriously. Captain didn't say anything, he just raised his arms in triumph.
"It's just that he grabbed the back of my head and his hand was on my back. You only kiss with your lips, Buch."
Had you seen Buch's face you would've realized how hard my words punched him, "you have no idea what you are talking about, sister," he replied. "I'm an expert."
I shrugged. "Second chance?"
Buch threw himself at me. This time, not only his lips touched mine, but he also started to feel me up. One of his hands was caressing the back of my head while the other one had climbed beneath my shirt and was touching me directly on my back.
Suddenly, Buch's kisses turned into something else. His lips moved away from my mouth and started going down my cheeks to my neck. As soon as his tongue slid under my jawline, I let out a moan. We all had our weak spots and the neck was definitely mine. I got hard, I continued moaning and my hands started feeling Buch, returning the favor.
His lips started running all over my neck, his hands pushing my body against him. I didn't know if he was that good or if the thing we smoked had anything to do with it but I felt like I couldn't breathe. When he stepped away, I felt overwhelmed in a good way. Like I had just jumped from a plane and landed.
"Looks like somebody liked it," Buch said, smiling, all proud of himself, pointing to my groin. I was wearing sports pants so there wasn't much to hide my excitement. But I didn't care. I had just jumped from a plane and the only thought in my head was... jump again.
I threw myself at Buch and started imitating his moves. I kissed him on the lips, then on the neck. Hearing him moan made me smile. I reached out under his shirt and started to feel him up. I wanted him to feel good so instead of just copying, I went a step further: I started caressing his groin. The moans he started to give were priceless.
I don't know who took off the other's shirt first but, after a blink, both of us were bare-chested. Our hands were exploring every inch of our skin while our lips and tongues were fixated in a never-ending fight, wrestling one another. I was about to take off Buch's pants when we both realized Captain was there, watching us, with his phone out, taking photos.
I looked and Buch and he looked back at me. We didn't have to say a word, we just smiled and, as if we were one, we both jumped towards Captain and devoured him. Buch took off his shirt and went for his nipples while I was taking care of his lips.
Even while high, I could tell that we were quite a sight, especially right then. Captain, breathing heavily, with two guys feeling his body, kissing it, making him feel better and more powerful. His eyes were closed and he was visibly pressing his eyelids. You could tell he had just reached heaven.
Captain was the first one to lose his pants. Buch and I took care of that. High or not, we both stopped to appreciate his body. Every muscle, every inch of his skin. I got so hard when we both realized he was wearing orange boxer briefs. It was such an unusual color that seeing him only made me harder.
"You like to stand out," I complimented him.
"Orange is the..."
"Don't," Captain cut Buch. "I'm black, I get it. Just don't say some Orange is the new black, joke."
"Don't worry," I intervened. "No joking. I have something else in mind."
I started undressing him as Buch kissed his abdomen, first right in the torso, then lower, around his belly button, then even lower until he started kissing his dick through his underwear, making it wet. I saw how Captain closed his eyes and grabbed Buch's head, pushing him against his shaft.
I smiled and, with a devilish grin, I moved towards them, took hold of Captain's underwear, and with a single motion, pulled it down.
My mind went into pause. If I hadn't been high, I probably would've walked away, but I was so I just stared at Captain's dick like a fool for at least a whole minute. This was the second time I was seeing him fully naked, yet I wasn't any less impressed. Man, it was a sight to see. I had seen guys in the showers before, yes. But Captain was the only guy my age I had ever had and, by far, Captain was the biggest I had seen, period.
Even Buch, the guy who had dated more guys than I can count, stopped and stared for a second before taking it all in his mouth. Captain moved his head back, holding back a moan. My mind was in a trance. It all looked so real and sweaty but at the same time, it felt like I was in a dream.
I blinked again. Now, suddenly, it was my mouth that had Captain's dick inside. This was the second time I had it in my mouth, so I knew what I was doing a little better. I started licking the tip, teasing him before submerging the head and sucking it as if it was a lollipop. Captain liked that but, above all, he liked it when I took the whole thing in my mouth.
While I was sucking Captain, I felt Buch's hands behind me, pulling off my pants and leaving me in my underwear only to, a second later, removing that too. I still had Captain's boyhood in my mouth when I felt Buch taking my own erect dick into his. I almost gagged when he did it.
It felt so weird, sucking while being sucked. It was awesome too. Everything Buch made me feel, I made Captain feel too. Every inch Buch's tongue reached in me, I made sure to reach that same inch in Captain. It was so hard to concentrate with those feelings, opposing but complementary, inside me at once. I was moaning too which made it harder for me to suck Captain.
I was moaning harder and harder until I had to push Buch away, or else I would've finished. And if I knew something, it was that I didn't want to finish. Not yet. I parted ways with Captain's dick and turned around, facing Buch. It was his turn to enjoy it a little. Captain started kissing him while I undid his jeans. Down there, he wasn't as big as Captain but the redhead made for a very unique sight.
Hours could've passed like that. I have no idea how much we were like that. Kissing, drinking water, eating candy, feeling each other up. It was quite a surprise when Buch hugged me and our dicks pressed against one another; he started moving his hips, arousing me more than I would've imagined. I really enjoyed looking at our boyhoods like that, one against the other, stimulating each other, making the other harder and stiffer.
After I blinked, I was sitting on the bed while Captain was standing behind Buch. He was putting on a condom. That is when I remembered: this wasn't their first rodeo. Those two had already tasted each other's cherries. They knew what to do.
Buch, willingly leaned forward, exposing his behind to Captain while he started pushing a finger inside the redhead, testing the waters. There was a strong scent of strawberry in the air. Buch didn't make a sound but he opened his mouth, surprised. Captain smiled when he felt Buch's body twitching. Then a second finger entered. This time, Buch moaned.
You could see the slight discomfort in his face but you could also make out the pleasure, the happiness, and the ecstasy. Buch even moved backward so Captain's finger would enter deeper inside him. Then, Captain took aim, steered his ship, and with a delicate movement, started entering Buch. Even though they were my age, neither of them seemed lost. Captain was gentle but decisive, entering inch by inch, delicately, not all at once. Buch, amazingly, took Captain's whole dick like a champ.
Then, when he was fully inside him, the dance started. Captain started moving his hips making Buch's entire body bounce. It was rhythm, it was music, and it was a dance. For a second I had completely forgotten about myself until Buch reached out to me, on the bed, and engulfed my own dick in his mouth.
I couldn't hold it back, I opened my mouth, unable to moan, gasping instead. While I was barely able to suck while being sucked, there was Buch, using his lips in an amazing way around my shaft while Captain was inside him, fucking him. Every time Captain would pick up speed inside Buch, the redhead would pick up speed with me in his mouth as well. Every thrust Captain gave, was a thrust I felt too. Yet, the shaft wasn't enough for Buch.
I thought sucking was the whole point of a blow job. Turns out I was wrong. There are way more toys to play with down there. When Buch first stepped away from the pillar, I didn't expect him to start licking the stones. I almost jumped from the sudden feeling. It was new but I was loving it. He then went to that space between my shaft and my leg, kissing me there. Why did that feel so hot? He then tackled the left side as well before going for the big prize.
Lifting me up a little, Buch's tongue started moving down, down, down. Past the pillars and the stones all the way to a place I hadn't even thought about before. I almost shouted when his tongue reached me there. It was the space between my behind and my groin, that little trail in between the legs. God, had that place ever felt so good?
"He likes having his taint kissed," Buch said in between slurps.
I looked up at Captain and he looked at me. It was weirdly twisted how, while fucking Buch, his eyes were on me. I, then, for some reason, smiled. And he smiled back. Maybe he enjoyed feeling Buch's body around his dick, how warm it was inside, how his inner walls engulfed his shaft, squeezing him just hard enough not to hurt him but to make him want to go deeper and deeper.
Captain was still smiling, but now it was a devilish grin. A second later, however, he started drilling harder and faster inside Buch. The redhead moaned against my skin and started to push his mouth harder against my taint, changing his kisses and licks for a full make-out session down there. I couldn't take it, I opened my mouth and let out pleasure cries come out of me. His lips and tongue down there felt more than amazing, more than special, they felt like a volcano.
The three of us, right then and there, were volcanoes. We were young volcanoes. And, like volcanoes themselves, the magma inside us started building and boiling and growing taller and taller. Captain was the first one to explode. He came inside Buch, so hard he even let out a groan of pleasure, his eyes closed and his mouth opened wide.
Not three seconds later, I exploded too. I wasn't inside anyone, my dick didn't have a condom to obstruct it and Buch's mouth wasn't engulfing it. My boyhood was erect, standing straight against the ceiling when it exploded. The whole magma rose inside me until it burst out like hot lava, flying into the sky. I could've sworn they were full of colors, like fireworks exploding before us.
It was one, then two, three, and four squirts, the first two fell on Buch's back, ornamenting his skin with white lava pouring down his spine. The third one fell on my own chest, filling me with my own juices while the fourth one reached my chin. Captain was nodding, enjoying the show.
Both of us were gasping for air, big grins on our faces. Did it always feel this good or was it the high in our systems? I didn't care, I was smiling like never before.
"You both just spilled it on me, you know?" Buch said, standing up. "I love it when they synchronize."
Captain and I exchanged a look, both of us staring at Buch's dick, still hard and still full. Without saying a word, we both fell to our knees and our mouths aimed at his boyhood. It was half a kiss, half a suck. The hot lava inside him was magma still... for now. We didn't stop until he exploded too.
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The three of us were lying in bed, still naked, staring at the ceiling. Our heartbeats had calmed down, our chests were rising slowly, our eyes were fixated on the endless constellations the white sky of the ceiling had. Then, out of nowhere, Buch started giggling, softly at first, then louder and louder. I don't know what was so funny but his high pitched giggling made me laugh too. And, soon enough, the three of us were bursting out loud.
"Why the fuck didn't we do this sooner?" Buch said then, complaining against the ceiling.
I turned to him. "Why the hell didn't we fuck sooner?" The three of us laughed. It was bad and lame but I couldn't stop.
"Maybe we just needed to be high to be brave enough to do it," Buch suggested.
"Drinking makes you brave," Captain corrected. "Molly only makes you stupid."
We all chuckled again. I had no idea how much time had passed, how the hours moving and counting were moving forward but it felt like I had always been there, from the very beginning of the universe. Then, a question popped into my head... what have we done? Was it stupid?
"Of course not," Buch replied to the question in my head. God, was I really that high? "I mean, to be honest, it was quite good, even better than I thought it would be. But it's more than that, sisters. I mean, when I first moved here, when I moved out of my parents' house... I was scared shitless. It was summer before highschool so, I didn't know anyone yet. You have no idea how afraid I was of living by myself those first few months. Yeah, I dated a couple of guys but I was very scared. I didn't have anyone, the apartment always felt empty, I barely even had furniture with me. But then school started and, a few weeks later I met you guys. We became friends."
Well, you found Captain first, I said in my mind. Captain and I exchanged looks, both of us sitting now, too.
"I know that I talk a lot," Buch looked at me, then at Captain. "And that it looks like I can just talk to anyone. And I can. But that doesn't mean that anyone can become a friend, you know? This thing, sisters, the Booze... God, we are fucking awesome, like another level awesome."
Captain and I smiled. Buch stretched both of his arms around our shoulders, bringing us into a group hug. It was weird because we were naked but it was special too, in part because we were naked.
"And who cares if we just fucked," Buch let out bluntly. "I know people see it as a bad thing when friends do that but, fucking hell mind your own goddamn business for fucks sake! We can do what we want." Buch lowered his head a little. "I love you, sisters. I do. And this is... just another way of showing it. I love that I made you feel so good you came."
I looked away, a little ashamed. Buch must've noticed because the next thing he said was.
"I mean, did you see Johnny's face? He was in fucking Nirvana," he said, laughing and giving my groin a tiny squeeze, playfully. "You should see the photos I took, they are just wow. Pure, raw, and emotional fucking."
"You didn't take photos of the whole thing, did you?" I said, too sure of myself.
"Are you sure about that?" Buch let out.
Both Captain and Buch moved through our stuff until they both found their phones. Then they started sending the photos to our group. There were photos of everything, of me kissing Buch, then Captain, of Captain fucking Buch, of Buch sucking Captain, everything was there.
Everything was there on my phone.
Then, as the high was coming to its end, it hit me: Armando.
"Oh..." I sighed out loud. "Shit."
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"You see where this is going, right?" I turn towards you, the fresh air of the morning caressing our bodies. The sun is almost entirely out, the yard that once was clouded in darkness is now as clear as the sky.
You look at me, nodding. "This happened a few days before the Taco Place meeting, right? So, when the whole Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds thing happened, you were already Armando's boyfriend."
I nod. I have no excuse so I just nod. "I fucked up," I say bluntly. "I made the biggest, dumbest mistake of my life. When I finally got what I wanted, when I was finally happy I... stupidly, I traded all that for a moment of lust."
You don't argue with me. Of course you don't, why would you?
"A few days later Armando and I took my car and drove all the way to the forest. He had taken care of everything, the food, the sleeping bags, the reservation, the logs, and the entire equipment. I just took my camping tent and filled the tank of the car. Before the sun rose, we were on our way to the woods."
You are not looking at me. I try not to read too much into it but it is hard not to. My voice is trembling, growing weaker by the second.
"We got there around 9:30 in the morning. Those woods were like 3 hours away by car. I was so happy when we set up a camp, when we lifted the tent and when we took out our food and had a picnic there. I was so alive. Just him and I, in the middle of an enormous forest."
"What happened then?" You ask, miles away from me.
"Nothing, it was a perfect day. We swam in the lake, we hiked. We even saw a deer in the distance. And when the night came, we roasted marshmallows in the bonfire, telling stories from our youth and wishes for our future." I look at the sky now, so far from dark and full of stars.
"We had sex in the tent. We did it and it was awesome," I start walking through the terrace. "The top of the tent could be removed so we did it while watching the stars. He is versatile so I was on top but after I came, he asked me if he could be on top. I let him. That's how much I was into him, I let him top me and you know what? It wasn't bad. Quite the contrary, because it was him, it was good, more than good."
You, finally, turn towards me. Your face is serious and severe and expressionless. You seem like a doctor examining a dying patient. It hurts but you would never show it. That is something you would never tell me.
"The next morning I went to take a leak," my voice is breaking. I hadn't told this story in so long I didn't know it hurt this much. "Armando took my phone, looking for the photos of us swimming in the lake but instead found... Buch, and Captain, and me. High as fuck, doing more than just `friends' stuff."
I can see the pity in your eyes, the judgment, and the anger. I deserve all that. I do. But this is an old story. This is a price I've already paid. Yet, it hurts you too.
"That's how I fucked up," I let out, finally. "It's not that I didn't hide my photos, or that I let him see my password, or that he took my phone even though he shouldn't have. I fucked up because I cheated on him with my two best friends."
It hurts you too but that is something you would never tell me.
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Again, I'm sorry for taking so long but sometimes you have to take care of your own life so it doesn't burst into flames. I'm sure you understand what I mean. Now, this is the penultimate chapter so, next entry will be the last one. I hope you are ready. And, as always, know that whatever you have to share, comment or theorize, I am all ears:
billy.alexander.wright@gmail.com
Oh, and don't forget to check my other stories:
* Us, For You
* Starboy
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