Young Volcanoes Chapter 4
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Young Volcanoes
~ by Billy Wright ~**
You are not the first, or their last, but you're possibly the prettiest. You are in for some explicit sexual scenes between boys, so be warned. Any and all thoughs are welcome:
billy.alexander.wright@gmail.com
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Chapter 4
The Readhead
We make a brief pause while you go get us more drinks. How many glasses have I drinked by this point? Three? Four? Maybe the fact that I can't remember is a bad sign. Yet, I accept the refilled glass when you hand it over to me.
Then, right under the stars and with the fire burning in front of us, you don't go back to your seat. Instead, you make yourself comfortable on the same couch I'm on. There's still space between us but it's becoming smaller.
There's something about the way your face glows with the light of the flames.
"Okay, so... Butch kissed you. He had just told you why he and Captain had paid Armando to date you and then he kissed you, right?"
I nod proudly at you. "So you have been paying attention."
"Of course," you say as if it was an obvious statement. "But I'm still waiting for the moment where you have your massive fuck up. But, first things first: Buch kissed you out of nowhere. How did you react?"
"Well..."
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When I felt his lips on mine I was petrified, I felt the way he moved them, the sensation, the warmth. Naturally, I reacted the same way any person would've: I pushed him as far away from me as possible.
Buch and I were great friends and I really esteemed him but... I had never thought of him that way. Not until then, at least. I took a few steps back. The street was empty but the city noise was omnipresent. My face gave away all of my expressions: the surprise, the shock, and the discomfort.
"What was that?" I asked after a few eternal seconds of silence. "Buch?"
Everything he was: unafraid, fuckboy, loud, shameless, brave... right then, he wasn't any of those things. In his eyes there was something else, something I had never seen before: shame.
"I'm so sorry," he looked down, unable to stomach the sight of me. "I thought you had given me a sign, I thought you wanted that, that you were..."
"In love with you?" The way I said those words, the manner in which I spat them, filled with aversion and repulsion, I regretted them as soon as I said them.
"Sorry, I didn't realize being in love with me was such a disgusting idea to you."
I lowered my head. How much more messed up could this get? I opened my mouth but instead of letting things just go out on their own and creating an even bigger problem, I took a couple seconds for the right words to arrive.
"It's not disgusting, that's not what I meant," I corrected. "I just never thought of you that way and never thought you... saw me like that. Maybe the monthly chocolates and the little notes seem too much but they are mostly playful, aren't they? Besides, you call me sister all the time."
Buch was dumbfounded by that. "I call everyone sister, that's my thing. And the chocolates are cool, it's a fun little tradition, yeah. But just so you know, I am not in love with you. Not at all."
That took me by surprise. "What?" Now nothing made sense. "Then why did you kiss me?"
"You are sweet," Buch raised his shoulders. "You remember my favorite brand of chocolate, I always smile when I read the notes you give me, you are smart and most importantly of all, you are not a mess. I like all that. Besides, this whole idea you have of not doing stuff with anyone until you find someone you truly love... it's sweet, too. I like it."
"I thought you didn't agree with it."
Buch's face shone with that, yet the sadness still hadn't completely banished. "Maybe I like it because I wish I was able to agree with it."
That was a compliment. I had known Buch long enough to know when he was trying to compliment someone. It wasn't direct and straightforward like Armando, it was subtle and, if you weren't paying attention, you might miss it. I liked that.
Maybe falling for someone like Buch wasn't such a bad idea. He was sweet, super attentive, and was always able to find the right words. Besides, he was never afraid of anything. Not even apologizing in public. The memory of him standing over a table at the cafeteria made me smile. And yeah, maybe he wasn't super handsome but there was a charm in him, something special, something more, plus his eyes were kind and I loved his red hair.
"So you are not in love with me?" I asked, forgetting to be discreet.
Buch fidgeted with his fingers. "I am not, I swear. But, to be honest, there was a moment, right around Valentines, when we gifted each other chocolates for the first time... back then, for a moment, maybe I thought I was."
The expression on my face must've been one of anger or discomfort because not a second later he got defensive.
"What?" He said. "Does that bother you?"
"No, it doesn't bother me," I looked around the street but no one was near. "But... I mean, if you were in love or at least you thought you were, then why didn't you say anything? Why did you never ask me out?"
Buch was taken aback by my question. He was caught off-guard and yeah, it may have been a little off topic but that's what came to my mind.
"I..." he hesitated.
"Because I've known you since we started high school," I said. "And not once, not even once, have you ever asked me out on a date. I thought that was because you didn't like me that way but now you are saying you did for a moment, so... Why did you never act on it? You are literally the guy who acts on everything he feels."
My friend stayed there, motionless. He was out of words. "You are sweet, Johnny. Too sweet. I didn't think you'd want to..."
"So you never asked me out because you just assumed I would say no?"
"Would you have said yes?"
"No!" I shouted. "Well, I don't know. Maybe..."
"Then why do you care?"
His eyes were on me, I could feel my emotions starting to boil beneath my skin. My mind started to run, looking for the right words but wasn't able to find them so, sadly, it settled for the wrong ones. "Because you date everyone, Buch."
That sounded wrong. Yet, part of me knew those words were exactly how I felt. Something so horrible, and twisted that couldn't possibly be anything but the truth.
"You've dated half the city. You have some new guy every other week and... I don't know. When a guy who asks everyone out doesn't ask you out... well, I don't want to say that I felt a little rejected but I did. Part of me did, at least. So I made up my mind that the reason why you never dated me -or Captain for that matter- was because you never mixed friends with lovers."
I let my body fall, leaning against the brick wall of some restaurant. Buch, standing beside me, just stared at me. I tried to extract meaning from his eyes but nothing came out. He was a blank page.
"I..." Buch started. "I did find you cute when I first saw you at school. Even more so when I saw how smart you were and the whole chocolate thing started... I fell a little bit in love with you. Honestly, I don't know why I didn't ask you out. Maybe it's because I'm into guys with beards and tattoos, so you are not my type."
"Or maybe you just don't date your friends," I insisted, trying to make myself feel better.
"Are you sure about that?" Buch said that phrase of his with a little laugh.
"Well, you've never made a move on me or Captain."
"I'll repeat it." Buch was chuckling. "Are you sure about that?"
"You've never made a move on me, I'm sure of that but... Oh, God, have you made a move on Captain? What? When?" That was literally the first time I'd even fathom the idea of Buch and Captain together. I mean, they were best friends but they were also extremely different.
Buch didn't answer, instead he just took my hand and started leading me through the streets. I was about to move my hand away but, for some reason, holding him didn't feel bad or wrong in any way. I followed him.
After just a couple of blocks, we stopped next to a big park. There were several kids there, playing on the swings, monkey bars and trees, chasing each other around. Further away there were some tables and benches.
"Here is where Morgan took me on our first date," Buch's words were barely more than a whisper, the wind was blowing swiftly through his red hair.
"He brought you to a park?"
"He brought me to a picnic," Buch corrected, smiling at the memory of it. "From what I understand, he likes to have a picnic on every first date he has. A little weird, isn't it? He was so nervous, he spilled the orange juice all over himself. It was silly but sweet."
I looked at the tallest tree and pictured them sitting under the shadow of an oak, over a picnic mat. I could see them so clearly, Captain trying not to look nervous and Buch telling one of his many wild stories.
"What happened?" I asked then.
"That's another story," Buch leaned against a post. "But just so you know, I don't see friends as off-limits when it comes to dating prospects." He always sounded like an expert when he was talking about relationships. "But... I don't know why I never asked you out, Johnny. Truly, I don't know. Maybe... maybe part of me is also waiting for the right person. Maybe I never asked you out because I never wanted to hurt you."
"Who says you would?"
Buch's face lit up with a dim glow of sadness. "Haven't you seen my relationships? I'm not saying they all are failures but they aren't exactly successes either. Besides, you are smart."
"Smart? What does that have to do with anything?"
"Rule number one of dating: never date someone smarter than you."
I gave him a frown. "That is a terrible rule."
We both laughed. "I figured you'd say something like that. But... Johnny, I don't want you to feel like you are not dating material. I mean, if you can make me fall in love, at least for a while, then you really are something."
I leaned against the post too and let my eyes wander through the park. My mind was picturing Morgan and Buch, Captain and Redhead, sitting side by side, sharing sandwiches, cake, and orange juice beneath a glowing sun, surrounded by a maze of leaves with the smell of summer in the air. It was quite a sight.
The sun was starting to set and even though we were only at the end of October, you could already start feeling the chilling air around. I shivered a little, just a little but it was enough for Buch to notice. A few seconds later, I felt him putting his jacket around me, covering me from the cold.
"Really?" I looked over my shoulder at him. "Your moves are so cliché."
"Are you sure about that?" He was proud of himself. "Call them whatever you want but you can't deny: they work."
I felt the weight of the jacket over my shoulders. The cold immediately vanished. His jacket was as red as his hair, soft and comfortable. Maybe he was right, his moves worked, at least a little bit.
"Why did you stop dating Captain?" I asked, curious.
Buch gazed at the big oak tree. "We dated the summer before highschool. He wasn't out back then and... believe me. Is not easy to love someone who can't accept himself."
"It's not always easy to accept yourself," I reply.
"You accept yourself pretty easily," Buch added. "That is attractive. You are confident, know who you are, are not afraid to show it, you don't apologize for being yourself... all that stuff is sexy, you know? And no, before you say anything, no, I'm not into you. Unless..."
"Buch..."
"Unless you want something casual."
"That'll never happen."
"Are you sure about that?" He smiled.
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"I was glad Buch had stopped dating Captain before we three met," I say out loud. "Otherwise I would've been an eternal third wheel."
"And nothing destroys friendships like dating," you add. "Especially between groups of friends."
"That's true," I replied. "Actually, I think Buch said something like that. Not then on the street, he said when we got to his house."
"At his house? Didn't you say he lived far away?"
"Yeah, actually when we got outside we were walking aimlessly or so I thought, I think we subconsciously walked all the way to his place. Took us a while but we had a lot to talk about so it was fine. In fact, by the time we got there it was already starting to get dark so I asked my mom if I could stay over."
"Ah, the good old sleepover." You say, a silly smile on your face. "Had a pillow fight?"
"Yeah, we also did our nails and braided our hair," I humor you. "No, but for real I am still surprised mom gave me permission with such a short notice."
"Oh," you let out then, lowering your drink, staring at the ripples on the surface. "Well, I probably shouldn't be telling you but... it actually fit your mother quite perfectly that you weren't there that night. She wasn't in her best mood. I had to open a bottle of wine, and ordered pizza -not as good as the pizza here in Italy but, still- to calm her down."
"What?" I look at you, surprised. "Calm her down? But mom is never... oh." I said, suddenly realizing what had happened. My mom was never temperamental, never that short-tempered, or emotional, except when it came to one thing: "my dad called, didn't he?"
You nod silently, taking a long sip. "He called, I... I don't even remember what they argued about that time but she was spitting fire, crying with anger, God, the whole thing." You pause for a second before continuing. "I know I was your dad's friend first but I don't miss him, not at all. Your mother though... she is quite something, you know?"
Maybe you don't notice what you've just said but I look at you suspiciously.
"Anyway," you snap back to reality. "What were you saying? You stayed at Buch's to spend the night?"
"Oh, we ate pizza too that day, at his place. Not wine but we had beer. Not very gay but hey, we can enjoy it too. And you are right, Italian pizza is way better. That's when he asked me something else."
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"I told you I think you are sweet," Buch said after finishing his sixth slice of pizza. "But you haven't told me what you think of me."
I stopped with half a slice in my mouth. "What?"
We were at his place, an old apartment on the far side of the city. It wasn't big, it just had three rooms: a bedroom, a bathroom and a living room/kitchen. He didn't have that much furniture either but that didn't matter. Buch had given up on a far more comfortable life with his parents. To go live by yourself at 16... I couldn't imagine that. Yeah, they were still sending him money but most of what he had, he had earned it with his own sweat.
The sushi place he worked at was at the mall, not very far from his home but even though it wasn't bad, it wasn't the best job in the world. Still, Buch gave it his all and made a living for himself. Even if it wasn't much, it was honest, hard work.
He had managed to sneak out a couple of beers from the sushi place, then we ordered pizza.
"Yeah, what do you think of me?"
I ate the rest of the slice before answering. "Oh my God, Buch. Are you asking me if I think you are hot?"
His face turned into a devilish grin. "Maybe."
Buch wasn't your conventional handsome guy. But what he didn't have in looks he made up in personality and charm. He was really fun to talk to, you never got bored with him, and he knew how to listen. I mean, he had been the one who apologized almost immediately by standing on a table, who does that? Captain, for all his good looks, hadn't even lifted a finger in an attempt to say sorry. Buch had substance, and I liked it.
"You are not my type," I said. "But I really like the way you are, I admire it. How you work for the things you want, how brave and unafraid you are, how you always speak your mind... I like these things a lot."
Buch drew a big smile, beaming with pride. He took the box of pizza, closing it before putting the remaining slices on the fridge. We still hadn't finished our beers but we decided to move the conversation to the bedroom, where he had his small TV.
"Besides we wouldn't have worked," I added, still thinking about it. "I'm a vegetarian and boy you do like chicken."
"Are you using a stereotype against me?"
"What stereotype? Dude, look at your hair. You are probably Irish. Is there a stereotype about Irish people involving chicken?"
Buch took a sip of his beer. "Probably not but being a vegetarian doesn't mean you have to date someone who's also a vegetarian. Besides, that's not the biggest reason why we wouldn't have worked. We also have the problem of both of us being, you know... bottoms."
It took me a second to understand what Buch was talking about but when I did I stopped fully on my tracks, I even almost spilled a little beer.
"Okay, you are right and wrong at the same time. You are completely right about the vegetarian stuff but man, you are wrong about the other thing."
"What? Really?" Buch's voice gave away his disbelief. "No. You are a bottom, sister. There's no way you are a top."
I raised the can of beer in a fake toast, and took a long sip. I liked to let the suspense grow like that. "Just because I'm not super muscular or dominant doesn't mean I'm not a top. Besides, I've never done it so I'm not 100 percent sure yet but if I had to guess.... I'm pretty sure I'm a top."
Buch left his beer on the nightstand and covered his face with his hand. It took me a second to realize he was laughing. "We told Armando you were a bottom," he could barely speak, he was cracking up. "Oh, God, I'm glad you didn't get that far with him or things would've turned very..."
"...awkward? Yeah, thank you for that. I mean, you could've just asked. I mean, trying to guess if I'm a top or bottom just by the way I look or act is... crazy, I mean, yeah, some people shout it every chance they get, like you, but others, like me and Captain, don't..."
"Top," Buch interrupted me.
"See, there you go again, guessing what people are."
"I'm not guessing," he replied with a wink.
"How did you meet?" I asked, trying to get the image of Captain and Buch in bed out of my head.
Buch walked to the small couch on the corner of his bedroom. I followed his example and let myself fall next to him. We were both staring at the ceiling.
"We met about a month before we entered high school and met you," Buch started. "It was on the Internet. No, not an app. Well, it is an app but not one of those. We found each other on Instagram. I once uploaded a story of myself singing..."
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"Singing?" You ask me.
"Buch has an amazing voice," I reply. "That's not the point though; let me finish."
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"...and he liked it. Then he uploaded one of him at the gym, I commented on it and... we started talking. We eventually agreed to go out. I was excited, really."
"What happened then?"
"You know how I am. I broke up with him before reaching the second week."
"And when you saw each other at school?"
"Oh, that one month after." The memory made him giggle. "I'm a good observer so I almost immediately noticed him. He didn't see me. When the lunch break arrived I decided to follow him and when I sat down at his table he almost jumped from surprise. He was a little embarrassed."
"Embarrassed? About what?"
"I don't know, when we dated we didn't do anything out of the ordinary. We dated and held hands and... had several sleepovers, if you know what I mean, but to be honest it feels as if it was a dream, not real."
"So that's how you know he's a top."
"Really, sister? You don't have to sleep with Morgan to know he is a top, come on."
"Just `cause he's bi doesn't mean..."
"No, no, no, no," Buch moved his hand from side to side. "I don't say it because of that. I'm saying it because he is very insecure about being into boys so he usually tries to find ways to reaffirm it. I mean, not so much anymore but he is still fighting with it."
That definitively sounded like Captain.
"And let me tell you," he added. "Captain isn't that great with his mouth. His technique is trash but when it comes to getting on top of me... wow, really, wow."
"I didn't need to know that."
"Are you sure about tha..."
"Yes! I'm sure!"
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"Wait!" you stop me dead in my tracks.
"What?"
"I'm just thinking about this but... didn't you say Captain had a girlfriend right before the start of high school? "
I chuckle a little. "You are paying attention! Yes, turns out that he cheated on her so you can see how things were a bit... complicated. Just what you wanted, right?"
"You seem awfully cherry to be talking about one of your best friends cheating on their former girlfriend," you add with a serious tone.
I gave you a puzzled look. "Relax, it was ages ago. Besides it is a little funny, even though Captain is bi, he clearly was dating that girl just to pretend to be straight. He told us, so having a girlfriend but cheating on her with a boy? Classic coming out of the closet stuff, that's why it's funny."
"Cheating isn't funny," you say like and I wish you weren't such an adult sometimes. You look like you are about to say something else but instead roll your eyes and look away, bottling up whatever lecture you were about to give me. "Nevermind. Get to your massive fuck up already."
I throw a big, stern glance at you.
"Now, let me guess..." You come an inch closer to me. "Since you stayed at Buch's place I'm guessing you didn't sleep on the couch," I scoff, looking away, unable to believe what I'm hearing. "I'll take that as a yes. So that means that you slept in the same bed."
"We did."
"Should I get ready for a hot scene?"
"You should," I wink at you.
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We all have that one friend, like Captain, insecure about being into boys. And we all have that Buch, shamless, spitting the first thing that comes to mind. Maybe, in a way, we are all the Johnny of our story. Something to say? Find me:
billy.alexander.wright@gmail.com
Oh, and don't forget to check my other stories:
* Us, For You
* Starboy
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