To: peach@lambda.net
***************************************************************** This a true story written on my own experience. It involves a 100% m/m topic. If you think this could offend your convictions about life, or you are not an adult yet, please go back. The names of the guys mentioned here were changed, and the places are also different. *****************************************************************
"Yours Truly" (2nd. draft)
Here at Tech when using our student Internet accounts, the only newsgroups in which we can post messages, to get in touch with people for personal interest topics, are the penpals and personals groups. Obviously, these groups are not the best way for gay students to get in touch on campus using the Internet. The rest of the newsgroup are oriented to any class discussion, or some other academic topic.
Even when it was Fall, my body was living a Spring time, and I was feeling the need of meeting someone on campus and have some good time. One night, I was surfing in the Internet once again our penpal and personal newsgroups trying to identify a clue, or any discrete message of any other male student trying to find the same that I was looking for. And then I got one!
Yes, it was a guy, named BJ, 24 yo, in shape, trying to find someone to hang out with. He also mentioned something related with going to the movies, and practice a sport together. He didn't mention any sex preference, so I thought it was an open message trying to attract some other guy. In deed, I replied that message, describing myself: male, 26 yo, 5'11", athletically built, and 164#. I also mentioned that I was gay, but my main interest it was to meet new people on campus, and have a healthy and safe friendship. I guess, I didn't believe to myself this last part of my response, but it was partially true. By that time, I was just horny.
One day, two days, three days, and I didn't get his answer back. At the fourth day, someone called Daniel sent me an email saying that he was a BJ's close friend with a open mind about gay relationships, and that BJ had told him about my message. Daniel's message was clear. He said that BJ was not gay, and that he was looking for another kind of friendship. I replied the message saying that I was sorry, and I hoped that BJ was not feeling offended about my offering. And I added a note saying to Daniel that please let BJ know that his posting was so open, and it can be easily misunderstood by some other "guy".
Well, anyway, there I was again: alone with me. It is incredible how much energy is spent or wasted while writing a message like that, and also waiting for an answer. I was feeling exhausted, but at the same time finals were coming soon, and I had to take care of my study. So, I forgot about BJ, and my intentions of finding a close friend on campus.
Winter quarter started, and I had met some gay students on campus. I use to have a good time with them, but only that. I was looking for more. And being a natural straight acting guy, I also like gay guys with a masculine natural behavior. And most of my new gay friends on campus were just over-acting a masculine behavior trying to hide their weaknesses.
At the end of the Winter, two weeks before finals. I found an email coming from BJ. The subject of this message was a shy "Hi", but he was enough sincere, and direct about his intentions in the contents. Well, he said that last quarter I had wrote to him an email that he never replied. And he was sorry about let me know his thoughts using a third person. He went to the point, saying that he was a straight guy but lately he had been feeling curious. I got the feeling, Oh my God! I know myself enough and I knew that something very strong was about to come over me. It had been several months since I had my last sexual encounter with a guy, and now something was telling me that I was going to meet and be really close to the kind of guy that I live for. He ended his message saying that he was available for a discrete conversation or email exchange. And he said bye with the most lovely phrase that I have ever got from a guy "Yours truly." It was like dreaming awake. I really didn't like the idea of focusing this new experience on only sex. I wanted more, and I was really excited about knowing the common things that we could have, start a friendship, and then see if a relationship was feasible. Maybe I was thinking too fast. But anyway I took my time, and he got my response two days after I received his initial message.
On his email he used the words "respect" and "discretion", and I was happy about that, they are also my favorite words when I meet new gay friends. But he said that he was not gay, and things could be a little different. Therefore, I emphasize these words in my response, adding that I was glad of exploring the idea of being good friends, and I preferred that he started putting the cards on the table.
Things were shaping better. On his next mail, he mentioned an ended relationship with a girl, his trends on feeling curious, and being desease free. So, the healthy friend that I wanted to meet was there, somewhere on campus. And he was willing to get in touch with me. We crossed some other mail in which he told me about his hobbies: hiking, working out not too hard, and the idea of maybe playing the guitar in a band. All his mail had the "Yours Truly" saying bye. We were not focusing our starting friendship on sex, I loved that. Well, sex is for me the maximum expression of union and agreement in a gay relationship. I really enjoy that aspect, but I think that it must not be the central point, or at least apparently it mustn't be.
The big day was near, the next Wednesday I emailed BJ telling that I wanted to talk to him personally, and that I was going to stay in my lab working until 10:30 in the night. He quickly answered, and said that he was going also to work, but that around 9:30 he hoped to be done. At 9:00pm he emailed me saying that he was ready to come to my lab, and I nervously agreed his announcement. It was raining, and he told me he had to walk to reach my lab. My mind was flying: he had his work done before the time he originally told me, he didn't care about the rain and was coming to me, I had never seen him before, and he had never seen to me either. It was maybe too much for a night.
My phone rang, he had reached my building, and was trying to get in. He said "are you Rob?", and I said "yes, I'll be downstairs soon, give me two seconds.". Two seconds were too much time, in half second, I was there opening the door. His umbrella was completely wet, and I told him about going up to my workplace. BJ is about 5'10, dark hair, dark brown eyes, and owner of a marvelous smile. He was still wearing his raincoat, but I could see how well shaped their muscles were as he moved. After watching his strong hands and a thick wrists, my instincts were about to take control of my acts. So, trying to get rid of these kind of thoughts, I told him about my work, and the things that I used to do there. We had a map near, and he showed me the location of his hometown.
My real intention for that night was just to meet each other, and then talk about his main interest: to satisfy his curiosity. I couldn't convey this idea; we had that night for us. My eyes were exploring his eyes, and I felt that his eyes were exploring mine too. "You are a cute guy", I said while I grazed my hand quickly against his hand. "What...", he said while wrinkling. I guess his ears were not ready to hear something like that coming from another guy. He finally smiled, and I went to paradise, and came back to earth while that smile was present. What a beatiful smile!
BJ said that maybe it was a good idea to go out and walk. But it was still raining, and I suggested that maybe we could take my car and go somewhere else. He said "OK". "Where do you want to go?", I asked. He said "I don't know, maybe a place where we can talk." Then, I realized that it was the moment, and maybe I was not ready. I share an apartment with two straight roommates, an by that time they for sure were there. Where should I take him?. I was not able, to tell him about postponing that close encounter he was curious about, maybe because I was feeling too much attracted to him. We went around campus, and finally we took 10th street heading to Piedmont Park. When he saw the darkness of the Park, he asked me "what's that?", I answered saying that it is a park where gay people use to come, and many of them have their houses around it. Then, I drove to the Park main entrance, and that sign of "NO ENTER" was not on our way. So, I passed the bridge and parked in front of the lake watching some of the Midtwon buildings. I turn off the car, and soon the glasses got blurred because of the rain, and our intense breathing. No other car was around. We were ready...
I looked his eyes directly, and asked him if he had kissed a guy before. He obviously said no, and he also said that he knew my answer about the same question. Then I approached to him, and we kissed tenderly, but at the same time desperately. Our tongues were talking frenetically the same language. We stopped, and then we kissed again. I went to his chest, and he partially unbuttoned his shirt, while I was touching his bulge with my elbow. I unbuttoned his pants, asking him what kind of underwear he likes. He said boxers, and I started to feel his dick through his boxers instead of grab it directly. Finally, I put his dick on my mouth and kiss it. It was a thick 7.5 inches juicy cock. Then he went to my pants, touched my legs and my tremendous hard on. I let him to undo my zipper, and made easier to him to grab my dick. He kissed my dick, and started sucking it. Being his first time, it was perfect. I never felt his teeth against the head of my cock, and this sometimes takes time to be learned, either for girls or guys. So, I completely enjoyed his sucking. My dick is about 7.0" when hard, but I was so nervous, and I guess I didn't have a full erection all the time. I remember that there was a moment when he put it all in his mouth, and his warm tongue was trying to play a wet game with the head. It was time to go back to his penis, and before that, we kissed once again. I grabbed his cock, and put it in my mouth one more time. We both had moved back our seats in the car, and now we had more space to release our desires. "Rub it!" he said. I closed my eyes, and started rubbing his dick while I kept the head still in my mouth. Suddenly, the volcano made eruption. He was strongly shooting in my mouth, his big balls were contracting and pushing his load against my throat. My mouth was full, and I was not able to swallow all that, it was too much. I opened the door of the car, and put all those millions of "little BJ"s out of my mouth.
After that, his face expression changed, and I have never seen again that marvelous smile that was mine for one night, and receiving his "Yours Truly"s that made me fly either. He finally emailed me, and said that he was needing time to think about his sexual preferences, he doesn't want any confusion on his life now, and will continue trying with girls. I can understand that, and respect his personal opinion.
"If I could change the world": Eric Clapton. ************************************************************ END OF THE STORY.
I want to learn constructively of this experience. I'd appreciate your comments.
bye Rob. -------------------------------------------------------