Zack and Jay

Zack and Jay

Chapter 16

Author: Kevin

Part 1

When we get to our bedroom Jay grabs me and pulls me into a very passionate kiss. He grabs the bottom of my sweatshirt and carefully pulls it off over my head. He then reaches down and unbuttons and unzips my jeans. He slides his hand down my back and into my underwear. He cups my ass in his hand and pulls me into him. I wrap my arms around his neck; he picks me up and carries me to our bed.

He gently sets me down on it and climbs on top of me. I can already feel him getting hard as he rubs his crotch back and forth against mine. After a few minutes of him laying on top of me and us making out we make slow passionate love to each other. We fall asleep in each other's arms.

I again dream of Josh's funeral and just before they close his casket he changes into Jay. I wake up on the verge of tears, but don't scream this time. I manage to calm myself down without waking Jay up. I get up and go check on Shawn. He is sound asleep.

I decide to go down to my studio and work on another Christmas present for Jay; another family portrait of us. Using my computer I remote connect to my computer at my parent's house and then using the computer program mom designed for me, I put together a collage that I think he will like. I print it out and head down to my studio. I work for about two hours until there is a knock on the door.

"Hang on Jay. Please don't come in. I'll be right out."

I hear him turn and walk away. I finish what I am doing and clean up. I then go find him. He is in the kitchen drinking a glass of juice.

As soon as he sees me he can tell something is wrong, "What's the matter?"

I really don't want to get into it again with him but say, "I had another dream and needed to clear my head."

He comes to me and pulls me into a hug and holds me for a few minutes. He then asks, "Why didn't you wake me up so we could talk about it?"

"Because I didn't want to bother you, you were sleeping so soundly. I just couldn't do it."

"Zack, you know you can wake me up anytime you need to, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know."

"What where you doing down in your studio that you didn't want me see? I think that was the first time you have ever had the door closed while you were working."

"I was working on a Christmas present for you! Ok, nosey?"

"Boy somebody is in a bad mood."

"No I'm not. I just don't want you going in there and ruining the surprise I am working on for you. Ok?"

"Ok. I promise I will stay out of your studio. I know how much Christmas means to you."

"What time is it?"

He picks his phone up off the counter and looks at it, "It's five o'clock."

"I'm going back to bed. Are you coming?"

"I was actually thinking as long as I am up I would go for a run."

I consider joining him for a minute and then decide against it. I tell him, "Jay I would like to join you but I have been up for a couple of hours and I am really tired. Make sure you wake me up around eight or eight thirty, and I'll make you breakfast. Ok?"

"Ok. I love you and wish you would talk to me."

"I love you too, and please understand I will talk to you if I need to or when I am ready."

"I'll see you in a few hours," he says as he pulls me into another hug and gives me a kiss.

He holds me for a few minutes and then slowly pulls away looking into my eyes. It feels like he is trying to look into my soul and 'see' what I am feeling. He gives me another kiss and I head upstairs and go back to bed. I fall asleep almost instantly and sleep soundly and dreamlessly.

Part 2

Hi everyone, Jay again. I know it's been a long time since I have written. I have been really busy the last few months with school and counseling. I have been talking to a guy and want to share his story. I have changed his name for his protection because of his situation. I'm sure you all will understand, after reading this, why I am doing that.

I first met Sam after he had talked to Phil a few times. Phil asked if I would sit in on a session with him. After giving me a brief background; I agreed without hesitation. Phil had told me that Sam was sent to him after he was contacted by an employee assistance program that a local employer uses and Phil does some work with in the evenings.

I could tell that he was hiding something in the first few minutes of that session. I wasn't sure what but I knew for a fact there was something. When he finally told me I was floored. I never saw it coming. I will try to tell his story in his words as much as possible but some things I will change to protect his identity if Zack ever decides to get this published; which by the way, I think he should.

I start out our first private session with Sam by explaining to him I felt like he was hiding something the last time. He hesitates for a few minutes then says, "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Sam, I am here to help you. Phil asked me to sit in on your last session and see if I thought you could use my services. Did he tell you what I specialize in?"

"No he didn't. What is it?"

"I specialize in helping guys come to terms with who and what they are."

"What does that mean?"

"I help guys with their feelings about their sexuality. I help guys accept the fact that they are gay or bi."

He becomes very agitated at this point and I am expecting him to get up and leave but he never moves. Then to my surprise he starts crying. He doesn't say anything for a long time. He just sits there with tears streaming down his face.

After about ten minutes he finally asks, "How did you know?"

"I don't know anything, I only felt like you were hiding something. Phil is the one that suspects there is something about your sexuality you are hiding, not me. I am here for you no matter what it is you are hiding. And from what you just said and your reaction I now know there is definitely something. Are you ready to talk about it?"

"Honestly? I don't know. But I need to tell someone. I can't keep it in any longer."

"You can tell me anything. There is nothing you can say that will offend me. I have heard it all before in some form or another."

He thinks about that for a minute and then says, "I don't know where to start."

"Well the first thing I must know is what you are hiding."

"I am gay."

I didn't expect him to say that. I thought maybe bi as he is married with kids but not that. I try my best to hide my surprise but he notices anyways.

"I thought you have heard it all?" he asks sarcastically.

"I have. I just wasn't expecting you to say that or maybe how quickly you were able to say it shocked me. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize. I understand. God it shocks the shit out of me and I am living it."

"Well, if it helps you open up and tell me everything, I'm gay too," I tell him.

"No way!" he says.

"Yeah, I am. Actually, my husband helped me realize it. I was lying to myself and everyone saying I was straight. I was a virgin when we were together the first time. The sex was amazing that night and every time since."

"Thank you. That does help. I would never have taken you for being gay."

"Ok, now are you ready to talk?" I ask him.

"Yeah, but I still don't know where to begin," he says.

"How about at the beginning," I tell him.

"Ok. When I got married I honestly thought I was bi, but for the last couple of years I have been thinking more and more that I may be gay. It has gotten to the point that I have to think about being with a guy to get hard when I am with my wife. I don't know what to make of it," he says.

"Well, why don't you tell me everything? Maybe we can find your answers together. And talking about it all should help you figure out what you want and need."

"I was fourteen when I lost my virginity. He was a neighbor. I don't really remember how it happened but I do know we used to jack off together all the time. After a while, one day while we were jacking off I leaned over and took his cock in my mouth. He didn't try to stop me. He moved his hand out of the way so I could suck him off better. He laid back and enjoyed his first blowjob. He came in my mouth in just a few minutes. I knew right then that I loved the taste of cum. I was hooked.

"He sucked on my dick for a while but he didn't allow me to cum in his mouth that day, but I did later on. Over time we did more and more to include fucking each other. The sex with him was awesome. I'm not sure if it was the teen hormones or just the need to get off, but I do know even after being together just about every day after school and when we could find time on the weekends, holidays, and vacations from school, I didn't love him.

"We were at his house one day after school; his parents came home early from work for some reason and found us together in his bed. We were making so much noise moaning during sex that we never heard them until they both walked into his bedroom. I remember his mother screaming, 'Oh my God, what are you doing to my son?'

"I grabbed the blankets from the bottom of the bed were they had ended up and threw them around me and over him. His father said, 'Get dressed and get downstairs both of you, now!' and they walked out slamming the door.

"I was scared shitless. I didn't know what they would do. I was so scared they would call my parents and tell them what was going on. He seemed so calm, it's like he didn't care they had found out. Thinking back on it now it was almost like he was glad they had caught us; almost like it had saved him the trouble of telling them.

"That was the last time we were ever together. His parents forbid us to see each other alone again. We could see each other but only at his house when his parents were home and not in his room. I was 15 when that happened. It devastated me. I had lost probably the closest friend I have ever had.

"They put their house up for sale sometime right after they had caught us together and moved away. I did receive one letter from him about three months after they moved but his parents wouldn't even let him put their new address on it so I could write back. He told me in the letter that his mom made him let her read it before she would allow him to mail it and had made him rewrite it removing some things.

"I honestly believe they thought I had made him gay. That's another thing; he could say it and I couldn't. When we got downstairs after his parents had caught us and they started talking; well more like yelling, he said it right out, 'Mom, dad; I am gay.' I couldn't believe he had said that.

"Granted I had been having gay sex with him for over a year, but I didn't consider myself gay. I liked girls, but I also liked what I had had with him. I was really confused.

"I finished up high school without having any more sex with anyone except my hand. I did have a girlfriend for a while but we never did anything. We just went out on dates; nothing ever came of it. I think we weren't compatible or something, not really sure.

"Ok. That's not really true. I did do something with someone one night shortly after that. I was so horny I couldn't help myself. I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. After going, and returning to my bedroom that I shared with my older brother, I noticed he was laying in bed uncovered and naked. I remember getting instantly hard as I stood there looking at him in the dim light coming in the window. I knelt down by the side of the bed and very carefully took his soft cock in my mouth. I sucked on it for a few minutes until he woke up and realized what was going on. He pulled away from me for about thirty seconds and then reached up and placed his hand on the back of my head and guided me back to his hard cock. I'm not sure why I did it but it was what I needed, I guess. I came just by him cumming in my mouth. I never once touched myself. It was so hot and I was so turned on for some reason."

This next part was very hard for Sam to tell me. I am writing this in chronological order but it was one of the last things he told me. After talking about it with a friend he was finally able to say he knew he was gay.

Sam continues talking, "Just before graduation I was invited to a party one Saturday night at an acquaintance from school's house. He said there was going to be a bunch of people there that wanted to get to know me better. I hesitated answering whether I would go or not. I stuck pretty much to myself in school and didn't have that many friends. I wondered why he was inviting me, somebody he barely knew. I told him I would have to think about it and would let him know. He said, "OK."

The next day I saw him in the hall and told him I would be there. He said, "Great see you there!" and moved on down the hall. I watched as he walked away and when he got about twenty five feet away he turned to one of his friends he was walking with and gave him a high five and yelled, "Yes!"

"At the time I thought he was just glad I was going to be there and in a way I was right, but not how I thought. When I showed up at the party there were a couple of cars in the driveway but not as many as there should have been for a party the size he said he was having. I didn't think much of it and went and knocked on the door.

"As soon as I knocked, the door was flung open and I was looking down the barrel of a gun. I froze. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I was grabbed and pulled into the house and the door was closed and locked behind me. I can still remember the sound of the deadbolt as it seated in the door jam. It sounded like a gunshot going off in my head.

"That brought me back to my senses a little and I started thinking this is some kind of prank or something. I would find out all too quickly how wrong I was. The guy holding the gun moved closer to me and held it to my head as another appeared and wrapped something around my head and into my mouth gagging me. I was forced up stairs and into a bedroom.

"As soon as I walked into the room I knew this wasn't a prank. There was another guy from school naked and tied to the bed. He was laying on his back with his arms pulled tight and tied to the headboard. He also had ropes tied around his knees. They were pulled up to just about his chest and the other ends of the ropes were tied to the frame of the bed. He was also gagged and I could tell from the look in his eyes he was scared shitless.

"They told me to sit in a chair that was next to the bed. I did and then pieces of rope appeared along with a bunch more guys. They tried to tie me to the chair but I resisted until I felt the barrel of the gun at my temple. I quit fighting and let them tie me up. I was sitting in such a way that I could see the face if the guy on the bed clearly and much of what was going on around us. There was a door behind me that I thought was a closet but I learned after a while it was a bathroom.

"I'm not sure how long I was there before the guy that had invited me finally walked into the room. Time seemed to stand still for me. I looked at him and tried yelling for him to help us but with the gag in my mouth it only came out as a muffled unintelligible mumble.

"He smiled and said, 'Good we're all here let's get this party started.' A guy came out of the bathroom behind me naked, hard and already wearing a condom. He spread a bunch of some sort of lubricant over the other guy's ass climbed up onto the bed. He knelt between the guys legs, lined his cock up with the guy's asshole and shoved it in all the way without stopping. The guy being raped let out a scream that if he hadn't been gagged I know would have been heard three houses away.

"The guy that invited me reappeared from the bathroom and told someone to go downstairs and turn on the stereo in the living room loudly. He then asked the kid tied to the bed, 'Do you know why you are here? Why we are doing this to you?'

"All he could do is shake his head and that must have been a challenge from the beating his rear end was taking. He had tears streaming from his eyes and I could tell he was outright crying. The guy that had asked the questions said, 'We are doing this to you because we know you are gay. If you like to get fucked we will be more than glad to do it to you anytime we want.'

"Around that time the guy doing the raping must have cum because he climbed off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom behind me and another guy came out seconds later. He climbed up on the bed and did his thing.

"'Do you know why you are here?' he asked me. I shook my head no. He said, 'Because we think you are gay too, but can't prove it. We know you have been caught checking guys out in the locker room during gym, but you also have a really hot girlfriend. If we find out that you are gay we will be having another party.

"All I could do was think, 'Oh my God, we're both going to die here.' After a while and about half of the guys had taken their turn, I couldn't take any more and closed my eyes. I was slapped across the face and told to watch what would happen to me if they ever found out I was gay. I refused. I heard someone go into the bathroom and come back out. I felt pressure on the side of my face, then pain, and something warm running down my cheek. I opened my eyes and see a bloody razor in front of my face. I was told if I close my eyes again I would be cut every time. That's how I got this scar," he says pointing to a two and a half inch scar on his right check just above his beard line and below his upper jaw bone.

Sam continues, "After all ten guys had taken their turn they untied me and told me to get out. I asked about the other kid but they said, 'Don't worry about him; we'll make sure he gets home alright. If either of you talk about what happened here tonight we will find you and kill you. There is no way they will be able to get to all ten of us at once. The word will get around that something is up and we will kill you both.' That is the last time I saw him alive.

"Sometime later they must have let him go or took him home or something because the next day he committed suicide. His mother found him in his bed the next afternoon; he had taken an over dose of his mother's prescription sleeping pills.

"I could not bring myself to go to his funeral but the guys that caused him so much emotional pain and suffering did. I heard from a couple acquaintances that they acted like nothing was wrong. I never told them why I had asked, I just asked how so and so handled it. Or how did this one or that one act?

"Shortly after graduating from high school I got into a huge fight with my parents mainly because of the emotional problems I had with what happened and I move out. I got my own apartment and shortly after that I met the second guy I would have sex with. We had some of the most amazing sex I have ever had. He was huge and made me feel so full when he was inside me. I thought I was in love for the first time in my life. But shortly I would find out what he was really like. He became very possessive and wouldn't let me talk to or see my friends. He wanted to know where I was every second of the day. It became so bad that he would show up at work and start arguments about where I had been or why I hadn't called him. I had to finally end the relationship to protect myself. I wasn't sure how bad it would get and wasn't willing to find out.

"Just before I broke it off with him my mother stopped in one afternoon. I had just had long passionate sex with him and he had fallen asleep in my bed. While she was there, she had to use the bathroom. The bathroom was off my bedroom and I completely forgot he was in my bed. As she came out of the bathroom she looked at my bed and stopped for a second or two, but never said a word to me about it.

"During that time I had started drinking and alcohol became my life. I would start drinking when I got up in the morning and wouldn't stop until I went to bed at night. It got so bad that if I went to work sober my boss thought something was wrong. If I went to work drunk everything was alright. Being drunk became the norm for me.

"Sometime around then I met the woman I would eventually marry and we became really good friends. I was sexually drawn to her and wanted her to be my girlfriend, but she wouldn't because she had a boyfriend at the time. Shortly after meeting her she introduced me to a friend of hers and he and I became really good friends too. One night when the friend and I were hanging out he asked if I would consider having a three way with him and his girlfriend. I thought about it for about two seconds but waited a little longer to answer. I thought he was hot. After a few minutes I said yes. We made arrangements to meet up at my apartment the following day.

"When they got there I was up and ready. I had cleaned the apartment and everything was put away. He didn't waste any time getting started. As soon as they walked in he grabbed his girlfriend and pulled her to him giving her a very passionate kiss. He then looked at me and said, 'Come here.' I was under the impression, from our conversation the day before, that this was what she wanted so I went to her and tried to kiss her but he stopped me. He pulled me to him and kissed me on the lips. I was a little shocked because I never thought he would do anything with a guy but I quickly recovered and kissed him back. We made our way to my bedroom and slowly undressed each other with his girlfriend helping us out of our clothes. She took over and told us what 'she' wanted us to do to each other. Well actually what he had told her he wanted us to do to each other.

"I remember it was so hot and she seemed to enjoy watching us do the things she was telling us to do. We sucked each other off for a while and then performed a classic sixty-nine on each other for a few minutes until I was so close to cuming I had to pull away from him.

"She then asked me if it was alright if her boyfriend fucked me. It had been a few months since I had been fucked and wanted it so bad. I said yes without even thinking about it. He found a box of condoms and a bottle of lube in his girlfriend's purse and put one on. He lubed himself up and then me. She wanted me on my knees so he could fuck me doggy style. I complied and he got between my legs and slowly penetrated me. He wasn't as big as my ex but he still felt great in me. He slowly pushed his cock into me but wasn't going fast enough for me. So I pushed back into him burying his cock in my ass as far as it would go. He let out a moan of passion as I kept pushing back into him as he started to fuck me.

"After a while we began matching each other's thrust. Soon he was starting to get very close to shooting his load and his girlfriend could tell. She reached under me and between my legs and started stroking me. As her boyfriend pounded my ass she jacked me off. I could feel his cock getting harder and harder and growing bigger with each pump into my ass. I could tell he was getting close and so was I.

"He plowed my ass a few more times and then buried his cock in me. I could feel his balls pulled up tight to the base of his cock and it felt like he was trying to force them into my ass too. That was all it took and I came all over my bed as he came in my ass. I could feel each twitch of his cock as he filled the condom up with his cum. All too soon it was over and he pulled out of me; I felt empty as I laid there recovering from the orgasm.

"We laid there talking for a while, him in the middle and me and his girlfriend on either side of him. He said that the sex was amazing and wanted to try something else. He said he wanted me to fuck him. I was really surprised by that. I said that I didn't know he was bi. He said he wasn't, he was just curious what it would feel like being fucked by another guy. I told him it was an amazing feeling if done right. He asked if he had done it right. I looked into his eyes and said yes.

"He reached down and slowly started stroking my cock. That was the first time he had touched me and it felt great. He seemed to know what he was doing and I was hard very quickly. He got another condom out of his girlfriend's purse and put it on me. He lubed us both up and told me to get between his legs. He said he wanted to watch my face as I came in his ass. I slowly penetrated him and could tell by the look on his face I was hurting him.

"I told him to bear down slightly and the pain would let up. I held still as I felt him bear down. I waited for him to relax a little and adjust to me being in him. After a few minutes he told me to go ahead. As slowly as I could I slid in a little more. He let out a gasp from the pain and I stopped again. It took about a half hour to finally get my cock all the way into him.

"His girlfriend lay next to him talking to him and encouraging him the whole time. After a few more minutes he told me to go ahead, and I slowly starting fucking him. It took a while but he finally started enjoying my cock in his ass. He made out with his girlfriend as I fucked him. He moaned with every thrust I made into him. I adjusted my position slightly so I could drive my cock into his prostate and he started moaning louder.

"After a few minutes he told me to fuck him harder. I started to force my cock into him as hard as I could. Even having just cum, I was so turned on by him I came again in just a few more minutes. His girlfriend had been slowly jacking him off and as I came in his ass he came all over his stomach.

"I couldn't believe how this day had gone. It was better than I could have imagined. I couldn't have dreamed that I would have ended up being fucked and fucking one of my closest friends with his girlfriend in bed with us. I was feeling really screwed up. I could just imagine what he was feeling. Someone that says and thinks he is straight fucking and being fucked by another guy. I never found out what he thought about it, because that day destroyed our friendship. From what I was told by his girlfriend he had trouble dealing with how he had felt after what happened that day and refused to see me again. I think it was his way of not having to face his true feelings about what happened.

"I think that is why I refuse to cheat on anyone I am with or to allow another person into any relationship I am in. I truly believe monogamy is the only way to have a real relationship with someone. If you take the time to build a relationship with someone, why would you take the chance of ruining it by allowing someone else into it? It just seems wrong to me. And after losing the friendship I had because of what happened that day, I will feel like that until the day I die.

"Shorty after, while drinking heavily one night with another friend, we were screwing around with each other. We had a habit if one of us said something that the other person didn't like we would say 'blow me'. I honestly don't remember what he said to me but I remember telling him to blow me. He opened his mouth and wiggled his tongue at me. I became instantly hard. I was hornier than I ever remember being up to that time. I kept saying off the wall things to him to see if I could get him to say it to me. Finally he did. I opened my mouth and wiggled my tongue back at him. He got up walked across the living room of my apartment and dropped his jeans and underwear in front of me.

"I think the main reason he did that was because of the amount of alcohol we both had drunk that night but there was no way I was going to pass up the opportunity to suck his nine inch cock. I leaned forward in my chair and took his soft cock into my mouth. He pulled back shocked for a few seconds. I sat there looking up at him until he moved back standing right next to the chair I was sitting in. He said, 'If you want to go ahead.'

"That's all it took. I stood up and had him sit in my chair. I got onto my knees between his feet and gave him a blow job. With the alcohol flowing through both of our systems it took quite an effort to get him to cum but when he did he came so much I had trouble swallowing it all. After cleaning him up with my tongue he stood up, pulled up his jeans, walked over to the corner of the room, laid down on the floor and passed out.

"The following morning neither of us mentioned it. To this day I have never asked him about it. I don't think he remembers that day at all. I honestly think he was so drunk he doesn't know what happened. And I will never tell him.

"A few months later I joined the Army and was in heaven, literally, for a few months. Fifty guys living in one large room, dressing and showering together, all the cock and ass I could look at. But the feelings I had for my 'girlfriend' got stronger and stronger. When I left I had hoped they would go away but they didn't. I eventually figured out I loved her. We actually started dating or seeing each other or however you want to say it while I was away. We wrote each other at least once a week, sometimes twice, talked on the phone when we could. I realized I was in love with her.

"I knew if I was going to make a life for myself with her I would never be able to tell her I was bi. So I made a decision that I would never have sex with another guy as long as we were together. I left a piece of myself behind and moved on with her.

"After getting out of the military we dated and finally got engaged. I never told her about my past gay sexual experiences. I lived the life of a straight man and that is the way I wanted it. Over the years our love grew even more with the births of each of our kids. But I was slowly falling out of love with her. I love her very much to this day, but I am not in love with her.

"Each birth of our kids got worse and worse on her physically. We were very lucky with the births of two of our daughters. One had her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck twice and didn't breath on her own for two minutes after birth. The other had her cord tied in a true knot after birth. Neither suffered long term consequences of their births but it scared the shit out of me and I believe caused me to love them even more.

"About two and a half years ago I started looking at a lot of porn online. I started out looking at bisexual porn, two men and one woman. Then I added some gay porn. Eventually I was only looking at gay porn. It got very hard for me to keep telling myself I am bi. I then started reading gay stories on the Internet and getting off to them. I was really starting to feel screwed up. I think I knew that I was gay but couldn't admit it.

"In mid June I started reading a story on Justusboys.com and I really loved it. I started corresponding with the author about the story and eventually we started talking about me. I told him a lot about myself going into great detail about what I had done in some aspects of my life. Especially about the problems I was having with my wife.

"In mid July I read his latest installment of his story and became very upset. It brought the rape back for me as if it happened yesterday, not almost 20 years ago. I told him I couldn't post a comment to his story because of something I was not ready to talk about; if I did it would open the flood gates of hell for me. He understood I think, but later that same day I couldn't sleep and I had to tell someone. I checked and he was online and I told him part of it but I lied to him about the when and where it happened. I'm not sure why but I couldn't tell him I had been acquainted with the guys involved for years in school. I didn't personally know then all, but I knew who they were.

"I came clean in an email a few days later and told him everything. I felt like shit about lying to him. I had to tell him everything. I talked to a few other online friends about it over the next few days. I was slowly letting it go after holding it inside for so long.

"A few days after finally being able to let it out I was able to admit I am gay. I'm not sure how much of this I will tell my wife but I need to tell her some of it. Hopefully she will be able to eventually understand.

Sam told his wife and left, but not before she threw him out saying, "I hate you; you stupid faggot! Get out!" She tore some of his clothes out of his closet and threw them out the front door in the pouring rain. He stayed for a few more weeks waiting on a transfer with work. Once the transfer went through he moved out of state to protect his kids from what he is. He knows how cruel kids can be first hand and doesn't want his kids to go through that.

I have stayed in contact with him over the few months since he left. He is slowly getting over everything he has gone through and is getting on with his life. I hope his story helps some of you with what you are going through. If it only helps one person, I know Sam will be grateful I have shared it with you.

Part 3

It's Zack again. I can't believe that poor man had to go through all of that. Some people are real assholes.

After I finish reading what Jay wrote I asked him, "I thought you were going for a run? With the amount you wrote there is no way you had time to do both."

"I was going to but I caught up on what you had written and thought if Sam's story could help someone with what they are going through and you end up publishing your book it would be nice to include it."

"Well if it does in fact ever get published and it does help someone it will be worth it."

Changing the subject Jay asks, "When are your parents going to get here?"

"Mom said they will be leaving Saturday morning, so they should be here in the afternoon sometime. Did you call the travel agent and get your parent's tickets yet?"

"Yes. I called them just before you got up. Their flight will land at Logan, Sunday afternoon. They will be here for eight days. Their return flight leaves Monday morning. I thought we could have an early birthday party for Shawn before they leave with them. Then on his birthday we can have some family time; just the three of us."

"That sounds good to me."

We make breakfast and eat together. After breakfast I head downstairs to my studio and work on Jay's Christmas present for a while. Over the next few days I spend a lot of time working on it. When I get it done I take it to the framer I use and drop it off. He tells me it will be done in time for Christmas and will call when it is ready to be picked up.

Saturday my parents arrive and we make a big dinner and spend the evening together. Jay tells us that his family has a tradition of going to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve and asks if we can go this year. My parents and I agree to go without hesitation wanting the entire family to be together. When we head to bed later Jay thanks me for agreeing to go.

"Jay, you don't have to thank me. I want us all to be together that's why I asked for everyone to be here this year. I will go anywhere your parents and mine want to go. It's not like it's going to be a huge sacrifice to go to Midnight Mass with you. I love you and your parents. I will do anything for you and them."

"That's why I love you so much."

"I know and I love you too."

We climb into bed and hold each other until we fall asleep. Shawn wakes me up around three am crying. I grab my robe and head to his room. He is standing in his crib crying lightly when I walk in but stops as soon as he sees me.

I take him down stairs and make him a bottle. My mother comes out of the guest bedroom and asks if everything is alright. I tell her yes that Shawn just wanted a bottle. She heads back to bed as I take him back to his bedroom and put him back to bed. I go back to bed and sleep soundly the rest of the night.

In the morning once everyone is up Jay makes breakfast for us all and as we are eating I feed Shawn his. After eating, my parents want to go do some shopping before we have to pick up Jay's parents at the airport. So we take them to the mall. We look around for a while, my parents buying a few things here or there, nothing special. As we are getting ready to leave and I realize Jay is gone. We look for him for a few minutes and can't find him anywhere. I try his phone and it goes to voice mail.

"What the shit." I say out loud, more to myself than to anyone.

Mom hears me and asks, "What's the matter?"

"His phone went right to voice mail. I'll kill him if the damn battery is dead again. You have no idea how many times I have to remind him to plug the damn thing in once in a while."

"Calm down Zack," dad says.

"Would you guys keep an eye on Shawn for me? I'm going to have him paged."

They say yes and tell me they will wait right here for me. I find my way to the security office and have one of the officers on duty page him; telling him to meet us in front of Sears were my parents are waiting. I head back to my parents by a different route keeping an eye out for him.

When I get back to Sears my parents are sitting there with Shawn and Jay is still nowhere to be found. I look at my watch and we really need to be leaving for the airport soon. I tell my parents I'm going to go looking for him I'll be right back. I walk back in the direction we came and look into shops through the doors and display windows. 'How the hell can someone just disappear?'

After about twenty minutes I start making my way back to my parents and just as I am walking up to them Jay comes out of Sears carrying a bunch of bags.

"Where the hell have you been? We should have left fifteen minutes ago to be to the airport on time. The battery in your phone had better not be dead again or you will be."

"I'm sorry I was doing a little shopping for someone and lost track of time."

"Who were you shopping for in there?"

"Who do you think?"

"Jay, damn it, you don't need to pick one of the most expensive stores to do my shopping. You know I would be happy with something from Wall-mart. Why did you think you had to do my shopping in there?"

"Who says it was for you?"

"Ok, you want to play games do you? Come on we have to go now."

I put Shawn back into his stroller and we head back to the cars. After buckling Shawn into his car seat and we are heading towards the airport I ask Jay for his phone. He hands it to me and I flip it open. As I suspected the battery is dead.

"When are you going to learn? Jay you are two years older than I am and sometimes I feel like I am ten years older than you. You can't even remember to plug your phone in once a week. What am I going to do with you?"

"Zack, I'm sorry. You're right though. Sometimes I feel like you not only take care of Shawn but you take care of me too. More than I do you. That's why I went into Sears and did your Christmas shopping. You deserve more than Wal-mart or Kmart or any other place like that. Crap, be glad I didn't go into Bon-Ton like I planned."

"If you would have you would still be at the mall trying to figure out how you are going to get home with a dead phone as your only means of transportation."

"You wouldn't have?" He asks shocked.

"Try me."

"Zack, I'm sorry I upset you."

"You don't get it do you? You didn't upset me. You scared the shit out of me Jay; after what happened in that diner. When I turned around and you were gone that's all I could think of. Then I called your phone and it went right to voice mail, I really got scared. If something had happened it could have easily been broken in a fight. Please tell me when you are going somewhere and try to remember to plug you fucking phone in. It's not that hard. Is that too much to ask?"

"Damn you really were scared. I don't remember the last time you swore at me. I'm sorry. I will never do that again. I promise and I will try to remember to charge my phone."

Just then my phone rings and it scares the shit out of me. I flip it open and don't recognize the number. "Hello?"

"Zack, it's Sarah. We are at the airport and there is nobody here to pick us up."

"Whose phone are you using?"

"We forgot to charge the cell before we left. I am calling from a pay phone."

"You have to be kidding me? Oh my God it runs in the family. We are on our way there. We should be there in about ten or fifteen minutes. You can thank your son when you see him for us being late. I will let him explain that when you see him."

"I figured his was dead when I tried calling and it went to voice mail. That's why I called you. Well we'll see you in about ten minutes then?"

"Yes you will. See you in a few."

"Goodbye dear.

"Bye mom."

"Now I know where you get it from."

"What?"

"They didn't charge their phone before they left home. They flew all the way here without having a way to call anyone if something happened and they were diverted someplace else. I can see them forgetting, they really aren't used to all these new gadgets. What's your excuse?"

"I said I was sorry for crying out loud."

"You will be sorry tonight. With the layout of the house we can make all the noise we want and nobody will hear a thing."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yeah; I checked. I turned the stereo in the bedroom up really loud the other day and closed the doors. Just outside the master suite I could just barely hear it. I checked each bedroom upstairs and couldn't hear a thing. We down stairs and nothing there either. I think the floor and the walls around the master suite are insulated to dampen sound transfer."

"Well then I can make all the noise I want and your mother won't holler at us."

"Jay even if they heard us here. They wouldn't say a thing. It's our home, not theirs. My parents wouldn't even mention it."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes."

"I'm not sure I would feel comfortable doing it with them here though?"

"What? After we woke them up and then kept them awake for almost an hour in their home? Are you kidding me?"

"You'll just have to wait and find out won't you?"

"It's not going to be fun for you. It's going to be punishment so you never forget to plug your damn phone in again. I am going to torture you into not forgetting."

Just then we pull into the short term parking lot of the airport and park. "Sounds like fun," Jay says as we are getting out of the car.

"What sounds like fun?" dad asks as he gets out of their car.

Embarrassed Jay says, "Nothing. Never mind."

"Marital problems?" mom asks with a shit eating grin on her face almost like she knows what we were talking about.

"Alright you both can stop now," I tell them.

They both say they are sorry and will stop and I give Jay a look that says keep it up and you will pay even more tonight. He sees it and mouths I'm sorry. You will be; I mouth back.

We walk over to the main doors of the terminal and just as we are getting there Bill and Sarah come walking out. Jay goes to them and gives his parents both hugs and kisses his mother on the cheek. After he moves out of the way I give them both hugs too and ask how their flight went. They say it was fine and Jay and I ask where their luggage is.

"It's on the cart right inside the door."

"Oh my God; there is no denying Jay is your son. You guys are only going to be here for a week. You brought enough for a month."

'Well, it's not all clothes. We were going to ship all the Christmas presents and Shawn's birthday presents but were able to get everything in our bags."

Jay goes inside and gets the cart and returns to us. We head back to the cars and put as much of their luggage into the trunk of my parent's car, the rest we put into mine. Dad and Bill get into the front of my parent's car and mom and Sarah get into the back. I quickly buckle Shawn into his car seat and Jay and I get into my car and we head back home.

Jay, dad, and I spend a few minutes taking Bill and Sarah's luggage into the guest bedroom. Then Jay and I show them around the house. They are really happy for us and say they love it.

I ask everyone what they would like for dinner and mom says that she and dad had talked about us going out to eat. She asks if Red Lobster would be alright. Everyone agrees that it would be great, but Bill and Sarah want to pay for some of it.

Mom refuses and says, "No arguments about it."

Reluctantly Bill and Sarah agree to let my parents pay for tonight's dinner but the next time it is their treat. We all pile back into the two cars and head over to the restaurant for a nice quiet dinner of lobster, crab, four different kinds of shrimp and steamed vegetables.

When we get home we sit in the living room talking and everyone gets caught up with what has been going on in each other's lives. Sarah and Bill can't believe how big Shawn has gotten and spend a lot of time playing with him while sitting on the love seat. After spending a few minutes with one he crawls to the other, sits with them and then crawls back to the first. He is having a ball goofing around with them.

After about an hour or so he has had enough and starts whining. Sarah asks me what he wants after he won't settle down for her. I tell her I think he wants down. Sure enough as soon as his little feet hit the floor he stops whining. He slowly makes his way down the love seat and when he reaches the end he carefully takes a step towards my chair. He carefully lets go and tries to reach for the recliner, but can't reach it yet. He takes another step and then another, and reaches out again. He can finally just touch the arm of the chair and with his little fingers barely hanging on to it takes another step.

I look over at Jay and know immediately that he saw what just happened. He has a huge smile on his face.

"What are the odds of him walking on his own without holding on to anything with all of you here?" Jay asks.

Mom asks, "Was that really the first time he has done that?"

"Yeah, it was. Those were his first steps without holding on to something," I tell them.

I reach down and pick him up and give him a hug. I tell him I am very proud of him and he smiles up at me. He looks around and notices everyone watching him and starts giggling. He can be such a ham at times.

We spend the rest of the night watching TV and talking. Around eleven we all head to bed. As promised I punish Jay for disappearing at the mall and not charging his phone.

Once I am sure everyone is asleep I slowly and deliberately tease his cock with my tongue. I refuse to suck it in like I know he wants. I flick my tongue across its head just enough to tease him. I lightly lick around the most sensitive parts giving him just enough sensation to drive him mad, but not enough to get him off. After a few minutes he is rock hard and leaking pre-cum all over. He is moaning loudly and I can tell he is getting agitated by the treatment I am giving his cock.

I continue toying with him, bringing him close to orgasm and then stopping, not even allowing him to touch his own cock. He is getting more and more agitated by the minute as I carefully bring him closer and closer but refuse to take him over the edge.

He begs me to let him cum, but I refuse for a little while longer. I toy with him for a few minutes more, and then say to him, "Promise me you will make sure your phone is charged."

"I promise. Please make me cum. I can't take it any longer," he moans.

I take his cock in my mouth, deep throat him and purr around his cock. That is enough to put him over the edge and he shoots his first shot of cum down my throat. He moans even louder. I slowly move up his cock, he shoots again. As I reach the end of his cock I slide my tongue back and forth on the sensitive underside just below the head. He moans again as his next shot hits the roof of my mouth. I forcibly deep throat him again and he shoots two more shots down my throat. He is thrashing his head back and forth from the intensity of the orgasm. He is gasping for breath and holding on to both side of my head trying to force his cock even further into my mouth. I work my way back to the head of his dick and lightly milk the last of his cum from it.

He moans one last time and says, "Oh my God, that was fucking amazing. But please don't over torture me like that again. I'm not sure I could have taken another minute of your teasing."

"Well then make sure your damn phone is charged all the time."

He reaches down and gently pulls me up to him and hugs me. "I will try to remember to plug it in when the battery is getting low. I'm sorry I scared you."

I give him a kiss and tell him, "I love you."

"I love you, too. Would you please make love to me?" He begs.

I reach into the drawer of the night stand and get the bottle of lube. I apply an ample amount to my cock and his waiting hole.

"How do you want it?"

He lifts his legs and pulls me down on top of him.

"Just like this."

I slowly make love to him. After about twenty minutes I cum deep in his ass and collapse on top of his chest. I lay there while I recover from the orgasm. I give him a very passionate kiss. We tell each other goodnight, that we love each other and fall asleep in each other's arms.

The next morning Jay and I make breakfast for everyone. When we are done Jay's mom asks if we know the story behind the Nativity and the correct way it is to be displayed.

Being raised not really going to church much I tell her some of it but not all. My parents say they know what they were taught in Sunday school and that is about it. So she tells us all to have a seat in the living room and she will teach us the story.

She begins by explaining that, "When Joseph and Mary had been betrothed but had not yet been married, the angel Gabriel who told her that God had found favor with her and she would conceive and bear a son. Mary asked, 'How could this be since I am a virgin?' and the angel told her, 'The spirit of God has come upon you and you are to bear a son whom you will call Jesus." She then goes on to explain, "Later, when Joseph found out that Mary was pregnant, he was hurt and was going to divorce her quietly because he loved her and didn't want her to suffer from the scandal, in those days when you were betrothed it was like you were married already and the only way to get out of it was by divorce. Joseph was visited in his dream by an angel of God and the angel told him that the child Mary was carrying was from God and that she hadn't been with anyone; she was still a virgin, and he should have no fear to take Mary as his wife and raise the child as his own.

"Shortly before Jesus was due to be born, the Roman Emperor had ordered that a census of the whole world be taken and so everyone had to return to the city of their birth to be counted. Since Joseph was of the family of David, he and Mary had to go to 'The City of David,' Bethlehem. When Joseph and Mary entered the city there wasn't any room in any of the inns for them. But after an inn keeper noticed Mary's condition he told them they could spend the night in his stable. In those days, it was really a cave that was used to stable the animals so Jesus was really born in a cave.

She then continued, "It was St. Francis of Assisi who gave us the Nativity Scene that we know and use today. He designed it so that there was an ox, an ass, and ten sheep in the stable. Does anyone know why?"

My parents and I don't have a clue and tell her as much.

She continues, "In Jewish custom an ox and an ass both cost ten pieces of silver. A sheep costs one piece. If you add it up you get thirty pieces; Christ's ransom. Judas wouldn't have had to take the thirty pieces of silver from the Pharisees, because his ransom had already been paid by God.

"Now as for the placement of the animals; the ox goes on Mary's side because the ox is the animal used by the priests for sacrifice and Mary is a descendant of the priestly family of Levi. The ass goes on the side with Joseph because it is the animal ridden by the king. Joseph is a descendant of King David. The sheep are usually placed throughout the stable filling it in and of course the manger is placed in the middle of the stable.

"In very expensive Nativity scenes there are four shepherds to balance out the Three Kings and their camel driver. All of which remain on the outside of the stable. Some people have followed the Eastern tradition of putting St Joseph outside the stable as a reminder that he was not fully aware of God's entire plan in this whole thing."

When she is done telling us the story she gets up and rearranges our Nativity to match the story she just told us. When everything is in place she steps back and I can almost see how it would have looked two thousand years ago when Christ was born.

We spend the next couple of days together making different kinds of Christmas goodies. Everyone seems to disappear for a while here and there, but nothing is said. Everyone is getting ready for Christmas.

On Christmas Eve my framer calls and says Jay's present is ready to be picked up. I ask my dad if he wants to go for a ride and he agrees.

When we get there my dad instantly notices it sitting behind the counter and asks, "Who is that in the middle?"

"You have to promise me you're not going to say anything to anyone. It was supposed to be a surprise."

"I promise. Now spill it."

"Jay and I are adopting a baby. He is due in May and that is an ultrasound picture of him."

Dad grabs me and pulls me into a warm fatherly hug and tells me, "I happy for you both."

When he lets go I notice a lone tear running down his cheek. "What?"

"When you told your mother and I you were gay it didn't change the way I felt about you, but I was a little disappointed. Not in you either; that I would never be a grandfather. And now you have given me two grandsons. I am so proud of you, Zack. I wish I was half the man you have turned out to be."

"Dad you are. I couldn't have asked for a more loving and caring father than you. I love you. You know that don't you?"

"Yes. Oh God yes. And I love you, son."

We are interrupted by a clerk coming to the counter. He recognizes me instantly and goes and gets my painting off the back counter and sets it carefully down on the counter in front of us.

"Would you like it boxed, Mr. Miller?"

"Yes, please. I think it will throw Jay and everyone else for a loop if it is in a box, instead of on an easel next to the tree."

He quickly finds an appropriately sized box and places my painting inside. Once done he punches a few keys on the computer/register and tells me the amount. I go to right him a check but dad hands the guy the cash.

"This one is on me."

"Dad, you and mom have done so much for Jay and I. You don't need to pay this. We can afford it."

"I want to do this for you," he says.

"Ok."

The guy takes the money from dad and hands him his change. I pick up the box and we head out to my car. I carefully put it in the trunk and we head back home.

Once there I quickly disappear into my studio to wrap it and dad makes excuses for me with everyone.

When I am done I set Shawn down for a nap so he won't be crabby for church. Jay tells everyone that he has checked and found a Catholic church that has Midnight Mass and that they have Christmas Caroling that starts at eleven. Everyone thinks that it would be nice to go early for that, not to mention getting good seats were the whole family could sit together. So we decide that we need to be ready to leave by ten thirty or so.

We have a nice family dinner together and afterwards everyone relaxes or disappears to do some last minute wrapping. Everyone is ready to go at ten fifteen and we head out the door. As Jay knows where we are going I have him drive and dad follows us. I have to remind Jay a couple of times that dad is not used to driving in such a big city and he needs to slow down.

We arrive a few minutes early, but someone is already playing Christmas music on the organ. We let Bill and Sarah decide where they want to sit and we all file into one pew. After a few minutes the choir starts singing and those in the congregation join in.

It sounds beautiful and I quickly get drawn in and start singing too. About twenty minutes later a gentlemen enters the pew in front of us and asks quietly if he can talk to me. I am taken aback, but hesitantly agree. I follow him back to a small room off the entryway of the church.

He introduces himself as the choir director and says, "I couldn't help but hear you sing even from the choir loft. I have something to ask you, mister ????."

"Zack Miller," I tell him.

"Mr. Miller would you sing with the choir tonight?" he asks.

"First, it's Zack. Second, I'm not catholic. My husband and his family are. My parents and I are here with them."

"That's fine. It doesn't matter to me. But I am in a pickle. My soloist is sick and can't make it tonight. We had planned on him singing a couple of songs by himself, but after he called I was going to have to tell Father Bob there was a change in plans and we would have to do without them. Then I heard you singing and thought, oh my God, there is an angel here tonight. Would you consider singing with us, please?"

"What songs was he going to sing?" I ask.

"Let There be Peace on Earth", "Oh Holy Night", and "Silent Night"; we have the music sheets for them if you need them."

"Ok. I'll do it. Just let me go tell my family."

"Not a problem."

We head back into the church and he tells me he will wait for me here. The church has filled in more and it takes me a few minutes to get back to Jay and our parents. I quickly explain what is going on and I will see him after the service. I give him a quick kiss and make my way back to the back of the church against the flow of more people coming in.

I finally make my way to the choir director and he shows me to the stairs that take us up to the choir loft. During a short break he introduces me to the choir and explains that I will be filling in for the sick soloist.

He shows me to my place and explains that the sheet music has been laid out in the order that we will be singing each song. He flips through it and finds the next song to be song. He tells me to be careful of what I say when we are not singing because my microphone will be on for the entire mass but the others will be off when I am singing my solos.

When he is done he takes his place and everyone gets ready to sing the next song. It's an easy one for me because I have sung it many times, "O Little town of Bethlehem".

When Jim gives the signal to start I start singing as best as I can. With the amplifying effect of the microphone and speakers the only thing I can hear is my own voice reverberating back to me off the walls. Sometimes my own voice still amazes me. I have trouble believing that I can make such wonderful music with my voice.

After a few minutes of singing some of the congregation have turned and are looking up watching me. I feel a little embarrassed but continue singing. We sing a few more songs then it is time for the mass to start. The choir is quiet and all of the church lights are turned off, except for the small lamps we have on our music stands and the lights coming from the organ. The organist begins to play the introduction to "O Holy Night" and Jim gives me the signal to start singing my first solo.

"O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining; It is the night of the dear Savior's birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pining. Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth. A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices! O night divine, the night when Christ was born; O night, O Holy Night, O night divine! O night, O Holy Night, O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming, With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand. O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming, Now come the Wiseman from out of the Orient land. The King of kings lay thus lowly manger; In all our trials born to be our friends. He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger, Behold your King! Before him lowly bend! Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another, His law is love and His gospel is peace. Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother. And in his name all oppression shall cease. Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we, With all our hearts we praise His holy name. Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we, His power and glory ever more proclaim! His power and glory ever more proclaim!"

While I'm singing this, a candlelight procession starts coming up the main aisle of the church, lead first by an altar boy carrying incense followed by the Cross and two candle bearers. After them come 20 children dressed in white robes carrying candles walking in two rows. After the 20 children there is one young girl dressed in blue and white and she is carrying a pillow on which the baby Jesus is resting. Following the girl, the deacon is carrying the Gospel Book and following him is the priest, Father Bob. As the procession reaches the front of the church, the children form two lines across the front of the sanctuary, the deacon takes the Gospel Book and puts it on the altar and the girl and Father Bob stop in front of the altar where the Nativity Scene has been set up.

When I finish singing "O Holy Night"; Father Bob starts the proclamation of Christmas that tells the history of the Nativity....

"The Proclamation of the Birth of Christ

The twenty-fifth day of December. In the five thousand one hundred and ninety-ninth year of the creation of the world from the time when God in the beginning created the heavens and the earth; the two thousand nine hundred and fifty-seventh year after the flood; the two thousand and fifteenth year from the birth of Abraham; the one thousand five hundred and tenth year from Moses and the going forth of the people of Israel from Egypt; the one thousand and thirty-second year from David's being anointed king; in the sixty-fifth week according to the prophecy of Daniel; in the one hundred and ninety-fourth Olympiad; the seven hundred and fifty-second year from the foundation of the city of Rome; the forty second year of the reign of Octavian Augustus; the whole world being at peace, in the sixth age of the world, Jesus Christ the eternal God and Son of the eternal Father, desiring to sanctify the world by his most merciful coming, being conceived by the Holy Spirit, and nine months having passed since his conception, was born in Bethlehem of Judea of the Virgin Mary, being made flesh. The Nativity of our Lord Jesus Christ according to the flesh."

He then continued, as the young girl placed the statue of the baby into the Nativity scene:

"God of every nation and people, from the very beginning of creation you have made manifest your love:

when our need for a Savior was great you sent your Son to be born of the Virgin Mary. To our lived he brings joy and peace, justice, mercy and love.

"Lord, bless all who look upon this manger; may it remind us of the humble birth of Jesus, and raise up our thoughts to him, who is God-with-us and Savior of all, and who lives and reigns forever and ever."

The congregation all responded, "Amen." and the organ began to play the introduction to "Silent Night" while Fr Bob entered the altar and began incensing of the altar and the crèche. Jim gave me my cue and I started singing,

"Silent night, holy night All is calm, all is bright Round yon Virgin Mother and Child Holy Infant so tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night! Shepherds quake at the sight Glories stream from heaven afar Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia! Christ, the Savior is born Christ, the Savior is born

Silent night, holy night Son of God, love's pure light Radiant beams from Thy holy face With the dawn of redeeming grace Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth."

The rest of the mass continued on and I joined in singing, as best as I could, with all the responses that the choir sang. But after the Our Father, Fr Bob introduced the Sign of Peace is it was my turn to do my last solo. Fr Bob said, "The Lord be with you." and the congregation responded, "And also with you." Then the deacon said, "Let us all show each other a sign of peace and Christmas greeting." Everyone in the church turned and started to shake hands with each other and Jim, the choir director, signaled me to start.

"Let there be peace on earth And let it begin with me. Let there be peace on earth The peace that was meant to be. With God as our father Brothers all are we. Let me walk with my brother In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me Let this be the moment now. With every step I take Let this be my solemn vow. To take each moment And live each moment With peace eternally. Let there be peace on earth, And let it begin with me.

Let there be peace on earth And let it begin with me. Let there be peace on earth The peace that was meant to be. With god as our father Brothers all are we. Let me walk with my brother In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me Let this be the moment now. With every step I take Let this be my solemn vow. To take each moment And live each moment In peace eternally. Let there be peace on earth And let it begin with me."

When the mass was over Father Bob thanks everyone for coming and wishes everyone a Merry Christmas. Then he looks up into the choir loft directly at me and says, "I would personally like to take a moment and thank Zack Miller for filling in for us tonight as our soloist. His voice is heavenly and a Godsend. Thank you."

Everyone in the church turns and looks up at me. Then to my utter amazement they stand and start clapping. They give me a standing ovation that goes on and on. As it is starting to die down I can hear people yelling for an encore. I look over at Jim and he just nods his head. So I ask the pianist if she knows "Do You Hear What I Hear". She says she does and starts playing, and I sing,

Said the night wind to the little lamb, "Do you see what I see? Way up in the sky, little lamb, Do you see what I see? A star, a star, dancing in the night With a tail as big as a kite, With a tail as big as a kite."

Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy, "Do you hear what I hear? Ringing through the sky shepherd boy, Do you hear what I hear? A song, a song, high above the trees With a voice as big as the sea, With a voice as big as the sea."

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king, "Do you know what I know? In your palace warm, mighty king, Do you know what I know? A Child, a Child, shivers in the cold; Let us bring him silver and gold, Let us bring him silver and gold."

Said the king to the people everywhere, "Listen to what I say! Pray for peace, people everywhere, Listen to what I say! The Child, the Child, sleeping in the night, He will bring us goodness and light, He will bring us goodness and light." "Bring us Light!"

When I am done I get another standing ovation. I thank them and make my way down the stairs and find Jay and our families. We get our coats on and make sure we have everything. After getting Shawn's jacket on him he whines and holds his arms out to me. I take him from my dad who has been holding him. As soon as he is in my arms he lays his little head on my shoulder and snuggles into me trying to go to sleep.

We slowly follow the crowd out the front doors of the church were we meet Father Bob. He thanks me again for filling in and says he hopes to see us again; and not just at Christmas. He shakes each of our hands as we file by and wish him a Merry Christmas. He returns the sentiment. We finally make it to our cars and head home. It's almost one thirty.

When we get home I quickly get Shawn into his pajamas and get him into bed. He never even wakes up while I am getting him ready for bed. When I am done I go to Jay's and my bedroom and get all of Shawn's and Jay's presents and take them down to the living room and place them under the tree.

It seems everyone was very busy while I was upstairs; there are presents everywhere. I actually have trouble even getting close to the tree. Everyone tells each other good night, we give each other hugs and kisses, tell each other Merry Christmas, and head to bed.

In the morning once everyone is up a little early for my liking, we open presents. I keep Jay's painting off to the side for last. King plays with the discarded wrapping paper pushing it around the floor with his nose. When we are done Sarah says, "Well it looks like we are just about done except for that big one off to the side."

"Yeah, I know. That's Jay's, but he can't open it until you guys open these," I say as I pull the Christmas cards I made out of a pocket in the side of my chair. I give one to my mom and the other to Sarah. They open them and read them. I can see their expressions change as they read the inside. Within seconds both of our mothers are jumping up from their seats and hugging Jay and me.

Bill confused about what is going on asks, "What? What is it?"

Finally Sarah hands him the card and he reads it. "Oh my God, another baby? How? When?"

I explain to them about Diane and that she asked us to adopt her baby. Everyone is very happy for us and there are more hugs for us.

I then give Jay his last present. He opens it and as he is looking at it I notice tears streaming down his face.

"What?" I ask him.

"It's beautiful," he says. "I love it. Thank you."

I get up from my chair and go to him. He stands the painting up next to his chair and pulls me down on his lap. We sit there hugging each other lost in our love until Shawn squeals from the floor where he has been sitting playing with a couple of his new toys. Everyone laughs. I get up and get a garbage bag for the wrapping paper and mom and Sarah go to make breakfast for us all.

Jay and I clean up the mess. Jay has to fight some of the paper away from King. I think he actually ate some of it. We spend the day celebrating this very holy day and thinking about those that can't be with their families today.

Over the next few days we all spend a lot of time together. Diane even comes over so our parents can meet her. I think they fall in love with her as soon as they all meet. Mom and Sarah tell her what she can expect with the pregnancy. Maybe a little too much, because I can tell at times she feels a little uncomfortable and nervous.

On Sunday night we have a first birthday party for Shawn before everyone heads home. I give him a piece of his birthday cake on a small paper plate and using his hands he tries to feed it to himself. By the time it is all gone he is wearing more than he actually ate. His whole face is covered in chocolate. He has frosting in his hair and cake crumbs all over the place.

I carefully remove him from his highchair and take him upstairs and give him a bath. Once he is cleaned up I head back downstairs and he opens his presents with Jays help. I think both of our parents went overboard a little bit. But for now he is the only grandchild on either side.

Monday morning my parents return home and in the afternoon Jay takes his parents to the airport. It was an amazing week. We love each other's parents as much as we love our own. I am happy that we could all be together for Shawn's first Christmas.

Author's note: I would like to thank my editor George for his help. He has been a great help with the typos and other minor mistakes I have made. Thank you.

As you 'walk with your brothers in perfect harmony' this Christmas please take a few minutes to remember those in the military that can't be with their loved ones this year. They are protecting every one of us to keep this world safe and secure. Say a prayer for them that they are home safe and sound soon. That is my only Christmas wish this year.

Kevin