The following is a work of fiction/fantasy. While it is based on real people, the events depicted are not based on actual events. This work is the property of the author; copyright protection should be respected. This work involves sexual relationship between two males. If that offends you, then please move on.
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Part Eleven
Teddy was right. They were a lot tougher than I thought. At least Matthew and Mark were. Their tears of that Sunday dinner notwithstanding, Matthew treated me with barely respectful contempt thereafter. Mark took his lead from his twin.
They treated their father slightly better. But only slightly. I feared they were headed toward rupture.
Kurt and Kyle were stuck in the middle. They wanted and needed their father, but they also wanted and needed their older brothers, and they did not want to move toward one and alienate the other. They were not adroit enough to straddle the two camps.
We had kept the boys out of school for the Fall semester, thinking it would help them adjust to their new lives not to start at a new school mid-semester. That was probably a mistake, as it meant the five of them were circling each other all day. Their January return to school could not come soon enough.
With their input, we had settled on a private Evanston school for their return. We all thought it would be easier for them to transition into a smaller, private school than into a large, public one. We also thought the small, private school would be more understanding of their alternative, but not unique, living situation. It was going to be expensive (about $15,000 per year per child), but Teddy did not seem concerned about the price.
As the holidays approached, the house was a tinder box. Matthew and so Mark, too, were sullen and surly. Kyle and Kurt were pensive and diffident. Teddy was helpless, having exhausted all options he and our counselor could think of to bring Matthew and Mark around. And, I lurked in the shadows of my own home, especially where the boys were concerned. I felt like I was walking on melting ice. At least I had my chambers and the gym to retreat to.
The only place in the entire house that was loose and free was the bed Teddy and I shared nightly. We were like teenagers again, kissing and sucking and fucking with reckless abandon. Teddy had decided that, since Matthew and Mark (we called them "M&M" or, when we wanted to piss them off, the "candy boys") seemed entrenched in their disdain, there was no reason to shelter them from what was going on in the house. So, Teddy stopped pretending to have his own room, and moved into mine. And, he stopped trying to shield them from what happened in our room. We kept our door closed, but we no longer came quietly or tried to stifle our pleasure.
Outside of M&M, Teddy and I were slowly, surely fitting together. As unlikely as it seemed after 32 years, we still fit hand in glove. He slipped into my life like one would slip into a comfortable, familiar sweater. My friends liked Teddy very much, at times, it seemed, more than they liked me. And, Teddy seemed settled in his new life, however he labeled or did not label it.
But, something had to give in the house. The atmosphere was just not healthy, especially for Kurt and Kyle. They were being pulled thin, like carnival taffy. We had to act before they broke.
The solution came from Matthew over a mid-December dinner.
"Dad, Mark and I have been talking, and we don't want to go to the school you picked."
"We picked," Teddy corrected, kindly.
"Whatever. You picked. We picked. He picked. We all picked. It doesn't matter. We don't want to go there."
"Well, the public school is certainly good and less expensive, but you are likely to face more problems there."
"We do not want to go there, either."
Teddy stopped eating and focused on Matthew.
"We want to go away. To a boarding school. We don't want to live with you and him."
"Use Kevin's name, please."
"Fine. We don't want to live with you and Kevin." He had hit my name hard, obviously to convey contempt for having to use it.
I picked up my plate and left the table. I was not angry at the slight. I was conflicted. I selfishly loved Matthew's solution, but it seemed permanent, and I did not want to be the reason Teddy and his oldest boys cleaved in two. I finished my dinner on the screened porch. Kurt and Kyle joined me as I did, I later found out at their father's direction.
To say I got along better with Kurt and Kyle than I did with M&M was an understatement. I got along better with anyone and everyone better than I got along with M&M. With my therapist, I posited that I should not really blame them after all the tumult they had been through, that they may see my presence as an act of betrayal against their martyred mother, that they were teenaged boys wrought with hormones and change and not sure how to deal with that toxic combination, all sorts of solid, rational explanations for the cold war that gripped our house. But, at my core, I thought they were just insufferable little dicks, and I could not believe how far off they were from their father. I had never met Melissa, but if they took after her, I am glad I hadn't.
"Do you boys want to go away to school, too?"
Kyle and Kurt looked stunned by my question and then looked at each other.
Kyle started, "No, sir. We want to stay with our dad."
Kurt added, "And with you."
I could not help myself. I grabbed them both and pulled them in. The tension in the house was palpable, and those three words had cut through it for me. I started to cry. When I did, they collectively squeezed me. I felt ice melting, walls coming down, barricades being breached.
We were holding each other like that when Teddy finished talking to Matthew and Mark and found me on the porch. Without saying a word, Teddy joined the embrace. I did not realize it then, but the symbolism was ripe. The four of us were pulling together, and M&M wanted no part of it.
As was our custom, Teddy and I did not talk through the decision in front of the boys. Instead, we waited until we were in our room for quiet time.
Quiet time Teddy's invention, I think mostly to avoid fracture in the house. At 8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday, all televisions were off, the downstairs was dark, and all of us were in our respective rooms with doors closed to read, write, work, or, in our case, talk and fuck. The television rule was easy, as none of us had one in our room.
While stripping down, Teddy raised the subject. "What do you think?"
"I don't know what to think, Teddy. Part of me thinks we should send them off tomorrow, but that's just me being selfish. Most of me thinks I should find an apartment and not be the reason the Azinger boys break up."
"Are you ready to give up on us?"
"I'm not suggesting that. We can stay together, just under different roofs so there can be some sense of detente."
"That is not going to work. They just made it very clear. They -- and I say 'they,' but this is mostly Matthew -- want to go away unless you are out of the picture completely. That's their 'deal.'"
Revulsion overwhelmed me. I thought I was going to throw up. Or pass out. They were making him choose between me and them. It had to be an easy choice for him, and it had to be them. He was their father.
I looked at Teddy. He immediately read my thoughts.
"Kevin, the decision's easy. They have a list of schools, and we are going to leave tomorrow to visit them. Kurt and Kyle can stay here, if that's okay with you."
"It is. But, are you sure about this?"
"Yes. The situation here is untenable. It has been from the start. If they go away, I am not going to lose my boys. They will just be leaving a little sooner than I expected. But, if they stay, I am definitely going to lose you. And, I am not willing to let that happen."
"Aren't they going to feel like this is some huge betrayal, that you picked me over them?"
"I hope not. I just explained that is not what is happening. I told them I thought they had offered a very adult solution to a very adult problem, and I appreciated their willingness to talk it through with me. They seem enthralled with the idea of boarding school. I think they forced the choice on me only to force me to agree to let them go. I think they know I would have said no otherwise."
I did not sleep that night. I feared I had come between Teddy and his sons, and he would resent me for it, even if he thought he would not. I was the realist who saw things as they were. He was the optimist who saw things as he wanted.
Teddy and Matthew and Mark drove off the next day to visit a half-dozen elite, East coast boarding schools. Kurt, Kyle, and I stayed behind. With no trials scheduled for the following week, I planned to work from home as much as I could, so I could spend time with Kurt and Kyle. And, because I did not trust two 12 year old boys at home alone for a week.
Teddy was buoyant when he reported in on their visits. He said M&M's attitude and demeanor changed as soon as they pulled out of the garage and started their drive east. Their icy approach toward him thawed. They were excited and excitable again.
I assured him that Kurt, Kyle, and I were having a great time as well. With the pall of the "candy boys" lifted, Kurt and Kyle brightened and filled out. They talked and talked and talked. I heard all about their childhood in Spain, the loss of their mother, their August with their grandparents, and their plan to talk their father into letting them take the whole year away from school. According to them, they needed a "gap" year. Kyle asked if I thought their father would say "yes" if they told him they would leave if he didn't. I could tell by the glint in his eye he didn't mean it. But, I decided to play along.
"No, I think he will let you leave, just like he did with the 'candy boys.'"
"He wanted them to leave. They've been such dicks. He'll want us to stay. We're not like them."
"True, but he also knows you want to stay. So, he'll call your bluff and tell you you can leave, knowing you won't."
"You think he's that smart."
"You know him better than I do. What do you think?"
"He's that smart."
Our week was like that. I settled into this alien role of caregiver. And, Kyle and Kurt accepted me in that role. Teddy was going to be shocked when he returned.
When he did, he and the "candy boys" had settled on a school. It was small and elite and expensive at $20,000 per semester per student. I made $189,000 per year as a federal judge. I had some savings, but $80,000 per year for 2.5 years would deplete it rapidly.
During quiet time, I broached the subject. "Can we afford this school?"
"Sure," he said so cavalierly that my interest was piqued.
"Maybe I shouldn't ask this, but how much money do you have?"
"Enough."
"Enough for what?"
"Enough for anything."
I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Let me put it this way. I don't have to work. You don't have to work. And, the boys will never have to work, if they don't want to. And the boys' children will not have to work."
"Holy shit. . . . Just from some formula?"
"I was a very commercial formula. Billions have been made from it and will continue to be. As they are, I get my little share and will continue to. But, more than half the money came from Melissa came from money, too. She had a trust fund. I inherited it when she died."
I relaxed against my pillow. "I better be getting one helluva Christmas present. Speaking of which, what do you want for Christmas?"
"You already gave me my gift."
"Really . . . . what?"
"Watching you and Kurt and Kyle tonight. It was like watching, I don't know, a father with his two sons maybe. I am not sure what you did while I was gone, but it was the best gift you could ever give me. The four of us are going to be very happy in this house."
Teddy kissed me. "I love you, Kevin."
"I love you, too."
"What do you want for Christmas?"
"I'm easy," I said, as I grabbed his dick. "This."
Our house had turned a corner. The "candy boys" were looking forward to leaving the house, and their impending departure was like the sun peaking out after days and days of cold, grey rain. And, it had freed them from some of their demons. They were not quite friendly, but they were friendlier.
The anticipation liberated us that night. I worked Teddy's dick with my mouth like I had not in a long time, repeatedly bringing him to the edge of orgasm before backing off. When he finally came, it was an enormous load. I took it all and continued to work my "gift" with my mouth and my tongue until he could not take any more.
I straddled Teddy's chest and buried my dick in his mouth. This was his favorite position to suck me, as it gave him the best view of the V that formed my pelvis. And, it allowed me the best leverage to fuck his face. I controlled my own orgasm in this position, and I had no interest in delaying it as I had delayed his. I filled his mouth as soon as I could and then collapsed onto him.
If we had been adults, that probably would have been enough. But, we were not. We were teenagers again. It was 1986, and love was in the air. So, I kissed his face, smelled his armpits, sucked his nipples, and licked his navel before lathering his dick with my spit and riding him recklessly, carelessly, freely. He cried out when he came. His cry released me, and I came without touching myself all over his chest and stomach. When neither of us could take any more, I collapsed onto him again, smearing my cum between our sweaty bodies.
We slept like that, slimy and dirty and then dry and sticky. We were awaked by Kurt and Kyle climbing into our bed the next morning, the first time they had done that since they moved in. Through some clever maneuvering of our thick, down comforter, we were able to hide both our nudity and the remnants of our quiet time the prior night, but we were going to have to remember to lock our door going forward. Or, at least, to take showers before going to sleep.
They climbed between us. As Kurt rested his head on his dad's shoulder, Kyle rested his on mine. It felt like a family. As we laid there listening to the house wake up, the sun shone brightly through the shades and into our room. For the first time in a long time.