Part Thirteen
Kyle shook me awake.
"It's late, and we're hungry." I opened my eyes to find the Ks staring at me. I raised up and looked at the clock. It was 8:47, and the Ks had not had dinner. I shook Teddy awake.
"We need to make dinner." Teddy looked at the clock and bolted up.
"It's late."
"Yes, and the boys are hungry."
"So am I."
Teddy looked to Kurt and Kyle and told them to go downstairs and get the eggs and pancake batter and bacon out of the refrigerator. "We're having breakfast for dinner."
When they had cleared out, Teddy and I quickly slipped into shorts and t-shirts. I stopped him as he headed toward the stairs, pulled him into me, and apologized into his chest.
"I'm sorry about earlier."
"I know. And, I know we have some things to work through. But, I can't fight you, Melissa's parents, and my boys all at the same time. I need someone on my side."
We held hands as we headed downstairs to the kitchen. We listened to Sinatra as we made breakfast dinner. We ate in the family room while we watched some mindless movie that 12 years olds find hilarious when they are twelve and that does not stand the test of time when they re-watch it later. Teddy sat in his chair, and we three Ks sat on the sofa. When we were done eating, the boys snuggled into me. I put my arms around each of them, and they burrowed into my chest.
I had never wanted to be a parent. After all, I had found a cat overwhelming. But, I was overwhelmed by how deeply the Ks had insinuated themselves into my heart and my psyche. I ached for them when I was at the office, and I thought about them whenever they were not around. I could not imagine how Teddy had sent the "candy boys" to New England; the Ks had been around only a few months, and I could not have survived sending them away. They were too important to me.
Teddy and I had been concerned they would miss their older brothers terribly, but they seemed to be happy to be out of the shadows and finally catching some sun. They no longer had to defer to M&M, and they were becoming more confident and assertive in their absence. I adored them, and -- to my great surprise -- they adored me. They did not fear my judgment as much as they feared their father's, so they shared bits with me that they did not share with him. Often, the three of us would laugh conspiratorially or share looks and smiles that suggested Teddy was the lone adult on Hastings. When we watched TV, they snuggled up to me. When they needed advice, they came to me. I was their conspirator and confidante and, sometimes when Teddy was out, their confessor.
We had kept the Ks out of school for the Spring semester as well. Teddy decided to home school them. We would start them in 8th grade the following Fall.
Time marched to the beat of our routine. When Teddy explained to Melissa's parents that their feelings on his life were inconsequential other than jeopardizing access they to their grandchildren, they decided to suppress their judgment, at least in their dealings with Teddy. I am sure it did not hurt that it was by now clear to them that if Kurt and Kyle had to choose between them and me, they were sure losers.
Teddy told his siblings why he was in Evanston. Their reaction was confused. They loved their brother, but his marriage to Melissa was an obstacle to their understanding of us and what we were doing. For whatever reason, they could not get their arms around Teddy's new normal, even though they had known me way back when Teddy was Zinger and I was "dork."
Kurt and Kyle turned 13 on April 20. To celebrate, we took them to the Cardinals/Cubs game that night at Wrigley Field. We sat Teddy, Kurt, Kevin, Kyle. The boys seemed jittery, and not just from too much soda and way too much cotton candy. They kept glancing at me, glancing at their dad, and then glancing at the scoreboard. If it had not been so furtive, then I'm not sure I'd have noticed. But, they were acting like they were on drugs.
During the 5th inning change-over, I discovered their "drug." As the grounds crew swept the field, the P.A. announcer interrupted the slight buzz of the crowd, "Kevin Michaels. Kevin Michaels. Please turn your attention to the jumbotron in center field."
I had heard my name, but the instructions had not registered. Kurt and Kyle grabbed my arms and snapped me out of my ignorance.
"Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, look at the jumbotron . . . look at the jumbotron!!!!!!"
I followed their fingers. The jumbotron bore a simple message: "I want to marry you."
I furrowed my brow. I did not understand what was going on. I turned to Teddy. He was down on one knee with his hand out. I put my hand in his, and he said "I want to marry you."
I felt thousands of eyes on me. When I said "I want to marry you more," Teddy stood up and wrapped his arms around me. As I wrapped my arms around him, the crowd -- at least the part that mattered to me -- erupted. As Teddy kissed me, Kurt and Kyle jumped on us from behind. Both of them were hanging from my neck as Teddy engulfed the three of us and buried his face in ours. We were a bundle of pure joy, and we all started to cry. The Cubs played Train's "Marry me" over the P.A. system.
I choked "I love you, Teddy" through my tears. He choked "backatcha" through his. The Ks were too overwhelmed to say anything. I have no idea how long we stayed huddled like that, but it was certainly too long. When we finally separated, the folks in our section were still standing and still applauding. The world had changed dramatically in the last 15 years, from the scare-mongering of 2004 to the validating cheers a stadium of Cubbies.
I was too drunk on emotion to stay for the rest of the game. We headed home. As we did, Kurt spoke for Kyle.
"Kevin, you can choose either me or Kyle for your best man. Dad gets stuck with the other one."
I did not even think of Thom or any of my other friends. "I cannot choose between the two of you. So, you can just switch sides halfway through."
"Awesome," said Kyle. "I told you he wouldn't pick you," he said, glaring at Kurt.
We were all holding hands -- Teddy, Kurt, Kyle, and Kevin -- as we walked to the train. I had never been happier. I had the love of a good man. Correction, I had the love of a great man. Correction, I had the love of three great men.
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